Our rainbows are here - pregnancy after miscarriage or loss graduates

[Labmum]

Welcome ladies from the fresh start for pregnancy after miscarriage or loss thread.

Post-natal support group so we can all keep in touch after our rainbows have arrived!

Brief background from me;
March '15 - MMC at 12 weeks
May '16 - DS born
Oct '17 - MMC at 10 weeks
April '17 - MMC at 11 weeks
Jan '18 DD born

DD is now 3 weeks old and a little poppet. We're both doing great and I'm loving my squishy newborn cuddles even in the middle of the night.

Can't wait to see more of the ladies from the pregnancy after loss thread here! Bring on the rainbows!

Checking back in, DD is now 4 weeks old, I can hardly believe it

She’s awesome, having a baby is even better than I’d imagined. Feeding is going really well and she’s chubbing up nicely though still very tiny. It’s been a really positive thing after the shit storm that was her birth.

I’ve been feeling quite impatient about my recovery. Had a couple of days over a week ago where I was fine on no painkillers and then I had a different pain and I’m on paracetamol and ibuprofen and if I skip a dose I can really feel it.

Annoying but I think I’ve been trying to pretend nothing happened and been alternating resting sensibly with too much activity and then feeling battered and sore the next day.

Medical or CS ladies, is it a thing where sensation around the scar starts to come back which means the pain can change rather than just fades?

So lovely to hear from you lisa xx

Poor thing mog, how’s she doing now?

Anne great to hear from you. Sorry I can't help with the Csection pain, but I can relate to the over doing it, resting and then repeat. It was only really with hindsight and comparison to a second easier birth, that I realised how much blood loss and other things took out of me and so needed slow recovery. Hopefully you will start to feel better soon, but definitely ask health visitor or doctors about pain and to check stitches if it feels necessary. Fab that feeding is going well,such a relief to know you can relax about that part. The new baby snuggles are so gorgeous and can feel endless, but are really such a brief period, I hope you are enjoying them.

How are the twins liking having a baby sister?

DD teeth seem to be fine now, bit of a break hopefully between those 2 and the next ones. So she is much happier and is loving exploring everything and spends long time crawling around busily between toys.

I haven't been on these threads for ages (my DD is about to turn 2) but Miami I saw your name pop up. We used to be on the pregnancy after miscarriage threads together I think and I just want to say that I am so delighted to see you on this thread with your lovely news

For what it's worth, DD and I had feeding issues and she lost a lot of weight then her weight gain was slow. We were also on a 3 hour feeding and expressing regime. My memory of it is that it was brutal so for you. I hope things are starting to settle now. By the time my DD was 4 weeks I was able to drop some expressing sessions and top up feeds, and by 3 months I wasn't expressing at all and we were EBF.

Best bit of advice I got re my supply was to eat really well, drink plenty and try not to stress about it (obviously easier said than done!).

Hey Anne. Good to hear from you and I'm glad you're enjoying motherhood and feeding is going well.

From a personal point of view I found my c section wound/scar became quite hypersensitive after a few weeks. It wasn't painful as such and I didn't need to take painkillers, but I certainly felt more aware of it. From a medical point of view, if your pain was improving and has now changed and got worse again I think it is worth getting someone to have a look at it. Have you noticed if it has changed in how it looks at all? Have you been discharged by the midwives? If not that's probably a good place to start.

Sleep training has worked pretty well and DD is now going down easily in the evening and only waking once a night for a feed. It was definitely worth the pain of the first few evenings. She is such a delight at the moment and her little personality comes through more every day.

@AnneLovesGilbert Sounds a bit similar regarding my CS recovery. I think there's just a lot of healing that tbh I didn't really think about, so I'd be okay and then at the end of the day I just needed to rest and not move/take some meds (bit tricky when I had to head to NICU everyday). For what it's worth I've healed up well though thankfully. How is the area around the scar? 4 weeks old though, that's crazy! Glad she's doing well

Also forgot to put my backstory on here, so:
MMC found at 12 weeks (baby was measuring 6) in July '17
MMC found at 9 weeks (baby measured 8) in November '17 (it was so long-winded)

I had my little girl in August at 32 weeks and she's doing well. She's between 2-9 on the percentile line but has stuck to it since birth which is amazing. She's turned into the most smiley, chattiest little creature, and I'll be honest, I didn't think we'd get here at all, and then she was born at just under 3lbs and I thought it was so cruel to have us go through our MCs and then potentially have us lose her right at the end. But she's so, so strong and apart from her size (though she is catching up) you wouldn't know. I'm so glad that we've all made it on here

@mogscratch hoping you get a nice break before the next set of teeth! Horrible when they're out of sorts like that, only so much Calpol and anbesol you can give them.

@keepon what sleep training program did you follow? Glad it's worked well, sometimes they just get into that cycle of being overtired then sleeping rubbish because they're overtired. I could never bring myself to do it with my DS though, he'd literally cry until he puked!

@anne no advice on the scar but wow! Those 4 weeks have flown!

@miami how are you getting on?

DD will be 12 weeks on Sunday....how has that happened?! She's not a tiny squidgy newborn anymore 😢. Finding it a bit sad really as all her firsts are also my lasts as we'll definitely not be having another. She's feeding well and sleeping well at night (not looking forward to it all going downhill with the 4 month sleep regression!).

Hi everyone! This had fallen off my watch list and I’m trying to spend less time online generally.

Anne when sensation came back after DD1 I had pins and needles/burning pain initially. No sensation back yet this time after a 3rd surgery in the same place! Echo what keep said- you should get checked out if you feel you are going backwards.

Keep glad to hear sleep training has helped and you are getting some sleep.

Unicorns lovely to see you here, time has really flown by.

As for us, DD2 is now 19weeks. 4 month sleep regression has hit and I never know if I’ll get 9 hours sleep or 1! She’s still fairly little but following her line. Started rolling this week!

Really need to start working on my diet and exercise and losing some weight now.

Hi everyone, I didn't know this thread existed but somehow it popped up. I was on the ttc & preg after miscarriage threads and remember a few names. Incredibly my daughter is about to turn 1!
Had a MMC at 6 weeks (surgery at 9) in 2016, then got pregnant just after the due date for that pregnancy thinking it would never happen again. I also have a bircornuate or septate uterus, but it wasn't confirmed at any point which one. DD was breech for the whole pregnancy, turned at 36 weeks, then back again at 37, so I was booked for a c section (ECV contraindicated due to funny uterus) and she flipped again at 39 and FINALLY showed up at 42 weeks.
She's now a little walking (but not sleeping) monster and it feels like she's been here forever but equally it's like "how the hell is she nearly 1?!"

It's great to hear you all are doing so well & everyone has got their wee babies at last

Hi hotcookie. Exciting that she is nearly 1.

I feel like time has gone so fast too,but the hot weekend is reminding me of having a newborn in last summers heatwave and not knowing what to dress DD in. She is now so big and changed so much developmentally since then.

I hope everyone is having a nice Easter weekend.

Hope everyone’s well?

We’re good, she’s chubbing up so nicely and I’m very proud of her three chins

Still having moments of looking at her and struggling a bit to believe she’s really here, my baby, who’s made me a mum. She’s smiling now which is so beautiful. Makes the poo explosions which look like korma worth it

I ended up with an infected scar but it’s sorted now thankfully and I’m only getting odd twinges but up nearly as high as my belly button and on one side. The GP gave my tummy a good prod last week and all seems well so just a case of still healing. I’m going to try and get to grips with the sling a friend leant me.

So I'm joining you guys! Our wee man was desperate to come in to the world! Born 8/5/19 at 35+2. Was all very quick. Waters broke at 2pm and he was born at 7.29pm weighing 5lb 6 3/4oz. Cord snapped so I ended up in theatre for removal of placenta. Otherwise we're both doing well.i cant stop looking at him 😍 and cant believe we finally have our rainbow baby 🌈

Another beautiful baby!!!! Hugest congratulations on your new son hopeful and glad you’re all doing well. He was just impatient to meet his mum and dad

Congrats hopeful

We're doing okay here @AnneLovesGilbert
Unfortunately we had another MC (but chemical) end of April so we're just trying to adjust ourselves from that. DD is doing well though

Oh I’m so sorry to hear that unicorns Look after yourselves. Glad all is well with DD.

Congratulations Hopeful. What a lovely suprise, but I'd have felt totally unprepared by a quick early birth. Did you have most things ready? Sorry to hear about the cord, that's such an unpleasant procedure to have. He sounds a great weight for 35 weeks, have you had to stay in hospital a while?

Glad things are going well Anne. I still have moments of similar thought and also trying to connect the moving, communicating baby my daughter is now, with the sleepy helpless baby and the memorable wiggles I felt with her inside. Glad scar now healing correctly. What sling have you got? I love slings and DD has barely used pushchair, because with DS to run around with, it is easier to carry her. It is worth trying another if you are not getting on with it and also to consider changing as she gets older and needs change. I have probably used 3 different ones regularly, but they have all suited different purpose. Borrowed or bought secondhand so could sell on for similar price once finished with.

All going well here. Dd is adjusting well to nursery and gets a bit upset, but generally enjoying new toys and other babies. She seems a social baby and likes being places where there is lots going on, so think that helps. She is not napping well there yet and only having 30 mins, but was having about 5 times that at home before,so hopefully she sleeps more there as she is getting very tired.

Sorry to hear about mc unicorns. Fingers crossed you get pregnant soon.

Congratulations hopeful! How's it all going? Do you know when you'll be able to take him home?

Sorry to hear about the infection Anne but glad it is all on the mend now. How are you finding the sling? I think the sling was the only way I managed to get lunch in the first few months! And so lovely having them all snuggled up close.

So sorry about your recent MC unicorns. I hope you and your DH are doing ok.

DD is 9 months today. I can't quite believe it. DH and I are doing shared parental leave. We're having a 5 week overlap and are on holiday in the Alps at the moment. I've only got 4 weeks of mat leave left sadly. We're probably going to get back on the TTC wagon once DD turns 1 so I guess I had better start taking folic acid again soon. I'm not looking forward to the monthly emotional rollercoaster again.

9 months keepon! How amazing It must be lovely having time together, enjoy. What’s the Alps like? Wishing you every success ttc, that’s exciting. I love the thought of being pregnant again, the second half was such a happy exciting time for us. I’m assuming DD will be my only one and I think 3 between us is enough, plus my delivery was massively complicated, but I LOVE having a baby so far and if I could guarantee another one like her I’d have handfuls

The sling is a Close, has rings and crosses over the front. Her puking down my jumper after a big feed wasn’t a highlight as I couldn’t move her enough to clean it up! But having her so close was lovely and my back adjusted to the weight after a while and she had a good sleep in there. I wonder if it would get a bit sweaty on warmer days? Any tips on that? This one is on lone from a friend so I’m happy to buy one if you or mog have recommendations.

Glad DD getting on well with nursery mog, what a big step!

We’ve got her first jabs tomorrow and I’m already feeling jittery... I’ve read about doing a feed while they’re doing them, has anyone done it? I don’t want her to associate feeding with being jabbed but if it might help could be worth it? I’m sure it’ll be fine, just normal first time mum jitters

Thanks everyone. We're home already! Only stayed in hospital 2 nights. Hes a little jaundice but other than that is doing great. I'm not so good though. Have been very teary today. Lightheaded from blood loss, have a chest infection so peeing when I cough and didn't make it to toilet in time when i had diarrhoea earlier. That just tipped me over the edge! Hoping for a better day tomorrow.

Oh my goodness hopeful! That sounds horrible and must have been very hard going with a newborn. I hope you're feeling better now.

The Alps are good thanks Anne although the weather has been pretty rubbish. Today is the first day that it is better than back home.

How were DD's jabs? I hope you both survived. I'm glad you're getting on well with the sling. I used a wrap one when DD was young. It took a while to get the hang of putting it on. She doesn't really entertain the idea of it anymore but will happily go in our ergobaby or backpack carrier for walks.

I'm hoping that if we're fortunate enough to have another successful pregnancy I might manage to enjoy it a bit more but I'm not convinced. Will just have to wait and see I guess.

Sending love hopeful

Shame about the weather keepon, next week looks fab here so something to look forward to! She was okay at the time, cried, though not as much as me! Then she was poorly all day Thursday, shat water and spewed a lot bless her, but slept more than usual, temp normal and fed about once an hour so kept her hydrated and comfy. Tummy still not normal today, dear god the smell but she’s very perky in herself. More in 4 weeks and more again 4 weeks after. At least I know what to expect though. She hardly ever cries and it’s the first time she’s cried in pain which she did that night and I realised how soft we’ve been allowed to be. Hardened parenting veteran DH was saying how he’d forgotten how tough it is to see a sad baby But it didn’t last long and we’ll toughen up in time.

She’s going to be hugely tall. We’ve gone from having to buy tiny baby clothes when she was born to 3-6 month things now which she’s nearly too long for. Doesn’t take after short arse me. Watching her grow is amazing. When she’s sleeping I count her many chins. It’s not all easy but having her has given me a sense of peace and completeness I didn’t expect. I don’t know if it’s just having a baby or the long difficult journey being over but as someone said on another thread the other day, I’m glad I didn’t know how wonderful having her would be or the hard times would have been so much worse. The bond her siblings have with her is so special to watch as well. They didn’t need another brother or sister but it’s the greatest bonus.

Thank you for the recommendations. We live somewhere rural and the buggy is handy for some things but having my hands free is better and when I can be arsed to drag us out of the house more often it’ll be really good.

How do you feel about the prospect? Nervous or excited? I managed to enjoy the second half of mine much more. After the 20 week scan I made myself acknowledge it was actually happening. But I couldn’t get into nursery planning until she was safely here and refused to pack a hospital bag till just before my due date. In the end DH did most of it because I was happy to be pregnant but couldn’t get my head into gear about it meaning a baby would be coming home. You’ve come out the other side and things sound happy and settled for you all so hopefully it’ll be easier and you’ll know how you dealt with it and what to expect of yourself. If any of us had known these pregnancies would give us our babies we’d probably have felt differently about them but it’s inevitable to protect yourself from too much potential disappointment when you’ve experienced so much of it beforehand.

I grew up assuming I’d have 4 DCs, I’m from a big family, so it’s an adjustment to now expect it’ll be one. (I also assumed I’d get cracking a lot younger but life doesn’t always go to plan as we all know...) I wish you every luck with ttc and want to know everything x

Hello. Sorry I've not checked page in a while. I'm missing lazy sleepy days at home in contrast to crazy busy work. I was away 2 nights last week for work and it felt like a long time away from home.

Hopeful - glad you got home so quickly. How are you feeling now? Immediately post baby can definitely be a pretty low time body function and attractiveness wise.

Anne - I use close caboo with DS and found it great for a few months until he got too heavy. This time I liked a stretchy wrap as felt more confident with it, compared to first time. I am now using an old style ergo which I like because it has a narrowish seat, so could be used from when dd was a couple of months without an infant insert. She is getting too big for it now though so need to swap to beco I used with ds. There are lots of subtle differences, but broadly they are same type of thing. Sling library's can be useful. We have one that she can face outward in, but I don't find it as comfortable and she is happy facing inwards. Sorry to hear jabs made dd upset, but at least it wasn't for long. Great that it was a shock to have her crying and normally she is so happy and not upset. How is breastfeeding going? I realised how much dd still feeds, with couple of days away from her my boobs struggled a bit. She stopped having daytime milk ages ago too.

Keepon - how lovely to have a long holiday before going back to work.

Great recommendations mog, thank you. I googled sling libraries near here when I was pregnant but have forgotten, will look again!

The one I have has side double rings, how different is a stretchy one to use? We had a lovely walk on Monday, she slept the whole time and we both got some fresh air. I’m loving the lazy days but do need to start doing some exercise so a daily stroll is a start!

Being away from home must have been tough. Is it a regular thing or a one off?

Breastfeeding is going brilliantly thank you, love it. She’s sleeping about 8 or 9 hours at night so feeding more frequently during the day. She weighs a (relative!) ton these days, going to get weighed again soon. It’s very gratifying to see her growing so big and strong and be so much more active now, alert and making different noises all the time. Yesterday she sounded like a little squawking bird when she was having fun on her floor mat.

How long do you think you’ll carry on feeding her? I didn’t know what to expect at all and my milk didn’t come in for 5 days because of my CS and possibly the many many drugs I was on. But we her great support in hospital expressing colostrum and a lovely midwife who came the day after we got home, been very lucky. I was open minded and didn’t want to put too much pressure on myself beforehand but my mum fed all of us and while we haven’t had any problems she and DH have been so supportive - even if it’s mainly feeding me!

She’s had epic epic poos, I had hummus for lunch and very spicy bean burger for dinner the day before so might leave off the heat for a bit!

Stretchy wrap needs a bit more practice to get tight but the feeling when wearing it is similar and having worn close caboo helps understand what trying to achieve I think. If you are happy with caboo I wouldn't bother with stretchy wrap as they are similar idea and both get outgrown fairly early.

Wow great about the sleep. I'm seriously jealous. Dds sleep is horrendous. She has regularly been up for couple hours in the night recently. Ugh hoping not for much longer as I am tired.

Being away was a 1 off luckily. Nice to be away,but nicer to be at home.

Great attitude to have about breastfeeding. I'm similar and didn't feel pressured. I think when it works and as you do it longer it is easier than bottles so less motivation to stop. Luckily dd has been happy to have bottles when needed and breastfed rest of time so I've not felt trapped by it either. I don't know how long I'll carry on. I fed my DS for 18 months and that felt a good length of time so maybe similar. At the end they rely on it so little and can be missed for few days that it didn't feel like much. It is nice to have support.

Getting out for sunny walks sounds lovely. The being outside and active is one of the things I've found hard about work. I'm not enjoying being sat at desk all day.

Ugh we have had grim poos last few days too, I think teething. Bit of a shock as she use to poo less than once a week and even since weaning not very frequent. Hopefully back to normal soon. Interesting about the spice, I never spotted a connection between my diet and her poos or sickness.

Omg ladies, this thread fell off my watch list so I've only just come back to it now!

@hopeful congratulations! Amazing news. He was born on my DSs birthday! All the best boys are born on the 8th May. He was a fantastic weight too for being early. How are you all getting on now?

@Anne glad feeding is going so well. I had a similar laid back approach with both of mine and luckily it worked out both times. DD was sleeping 10ish hours at night but we're now in 4 month sleep regression territory so please send caffeine! I used a close caboo too and loved it, in hot weather Id just have them in a vest underneath but it's not been much of an issue with our British summer so far!! I've now got a connecta but DD likes the pram so I've not used it much yet.

@unicorns I'm so sorry to hear about your MC. Withing you lots of luck on your TTC journey.

@keepon good luck with trying for #2, hope the Alps were fun and it's not too awful going back to work. First few weeks are tough and then you start to enjoy the adult company and hot coffee. Are you going back full time?

@Mog hoping the sleep has settled for you now and all is going ok back at work. Being at work on minimal sleep is not fun!

Quick update from us. DD is now 4 months and doing great. Sleep had gone a bit wonky in that she stirs regularly and we have to hold her arms still to stop her waking herself up every hour or so, so although she's sleeping and only waking for a feed once in the night, we're very disturbed. Hoping it settles soon.
DS turned 3 and we had lots going on to celebrate which has kept me very busy. It's nice to have a quieter few weeks after a hectic April and May.
I'm trying to get sorted with some long term contraception now but it's like trying to get blumming Glastonbury tickets getting an appointment at the clinic. We're pretty set that we'll stick at 2 so it's hard knowing I'll never get those newborn days again but I loved every minute with DD so at least I made the most of it. She seems so big already and half the year has almost gone already before I'm back at work in January!