Our rainbows are here - pregnancy after miscarriage or loss graduates

[Labmum]

Welcome ladies from the fresh start for pregnancy after miscarriage or loss thread.

Post-natal support group so we can all keep in touch after our rainbows have arrived!

Brief background from me;
March '15 - MMC at 12 weeks
May '16 - DS born
Oct '17 - MMC at 10 weeks
April '17 - MMC at 11 weeks
Jan '18 DD born

DD is now 3 weeks old and a little poppet. We're both doing great and I'm loving my squishy newborn cuddles even in the middle of the night.

Can't wait to see more of the ladies from the pregnancy after loss thread here! Bring on the rainbows!

Sounds like everything is going in the right direction Miami. DD also took 3 weeks to get back to birth weight and we had weaned off all top ups by 8 weeks. She went great guns and put on half a pound a week between 8 and 12 weeks and I managed to stop worrying about her weight by the time she was about 4 months.

I hope you get to stop waking her to feed soon. I found that quite tricky to do because I felt like I didn't trust her to wake up for a feed even though the reality was she almost always woke before my alarm went off!

@Miami I really rate the haakaa too. I have leakage and strong flow issues so use it to avoid getting DD or I soaked through but have built up a decent freezer stash in the process which allows DH to give her a bottle if I'm asleep/busy with DS without me actually needing to pump. Sounds like she's doing well though, hope the weigh in goes well today. It took DD 2.5weeks to get back to bw as she preferred sleeping to eating 😂 but has since gained 8oz a week so they HV have gotten off my back about it. As long as she's settled and happy try not to let any midwife/HV obsession on weight get to you too much. A hungry baby would definitely let you know!

Keep that sounds like great progress. Fingers crossed to continues.

Miami sounds like you are doing great. DD2 lost a fairly astounding amount of weight (although have a suspicion that her birth weight was incorrectly recorded) and was very sleepy. Milk was slow to come in here too due to blood loss but once it came it was abundant. When she woke up to the world she suddenly cluster fed for a day and a half and gained 300g in 48 hours to get back to birth weight. Stopped all top ups at that stage and trusted the process, she’s done fine since then.

I also rate the Haaka- great way to store some extra milk.

It’s a girl! Finally arrived yesterday in quite dramatic section under a GA. Feeling like I’ve been hit by a bus but also pretty good considering - getting feeding established, spending hours counting her fingers and admiring her cheeks and her toes

Oh gosh Anne! But massive congratulations! I'm so glad you are both safe. I wish you a speedy recovery and enjoy counting those fingers and toes!

Massive congratulations Anne! Lots of girls between us isn’t there! GA section is scary, for the husbands too so hope you are getting the support you need and able to enjoy the newborn days. Don’t be afraid to ask for pain relief as required.

I've just been watching DD smoosh food over her face and came over all emotional. Miami and Anne, I'm not sure how long we've been hanging out on various boards together for now, but we made it! We all finally got our rainbows. (And all you other lovely ladies too.)

Sometimes I look at DD and can't believe I've got her. I'm feel very lucky. (Other times I look at her and wish with all my heart that she would just go back to sleep )

Congratulations @Anne, amazing news! There's definitely a wave of girls on the thread! Sorry to hear about the GA section, hoping you feel better soon and that feeding is going ok. Hope you and DH are enjoying the newborn bubble, the emotions can be overwhelming given how long the road has been to get there! I feel so lucky every day to have DD. Would love to hear the full birth story of you feel up to sharing it. Same for all the ladies on here, I love birth stories.

There was talk of a WhatsApp group? Did that happen? I'd be up for joining.

Congratulations on the swaddle success @keepon!

@AnneLovesGilbert I am genuinely bawling snotty tears all over dd at your news. I'm so delighted for you.
I am sorry that delivery ended up being less then ideal but super glad that everyone is safe and sound.
Take all the painkillers and rest in hospital as much as you can.
Don't be fobbed off with their bullshit on discharge where they try to have you leave with ibuprofen and paracetamol. Make sure you have the good painkillers.
Be patient with feeding etc, the trauma of birth will have an impact and it can be very emotional.
I hope DH is ok, GA section must be terrifying for them.

Oh wow Anne, that was a long time, you must be shattered. Hope you have a quiet bed in hospital, so you can sleep when you get the chance. And home as soon as possible. But woop a gorgeous girl.

I'll do my birth story soon, away at mo so it's all a bit busy, but I like sharing it, as it felt very positive, even though not as expected.

A less public space to message might be nice.

How is everyone getting on? DD is finally over her cold and has been making up for her throwing up so many feeds and been super hungry. Apparently mid-leap which may be contributing too. We've got first set of vaccinations next week, eek! How is she 2 months old already?

We are good thanks. Having relaxing weekend after time away. Dd did not sleep well in travel cot after evening travelling, so was a tricky few nights.

Hope jabs go OK and she doesn't get a big reaction to them. We found 2 month jabs fine. What is this development leap about? Amazing how quickly I have forgotten. Is 2 months beginning to smile stage?

I hope you are home from hospital now Anne and recovering well after your ordeal and feeding is going well.

Miami, are you still having to wake and top up or is weight gain steady now?

We're good thanks Labmum. Glad to hear DD is better.

DD here is fully out of the swaddle and now sleeping in her own room! Her sleep went massively downhill to the point where she was only getting about 6 or 7 hours of broken sleep a night so we started sleep training on Monday night. It isn't pleasant but it seems to have done the trick as she is now getting about 11 hours and just needing one feed. I don't know if the clocks changing tonight is going to throw it all out of whack. Hopefully not!

Keepon, what method have you been doing? I think I need to find an alternative to feeding to sleep as dds sleep doesn't seem to be improving naturally. I'm very soft though and find it hard not to take the easy option.

Hey just wanted to pop on here and wish all you lovely ladies a happy mothers day! Enjoy cuddling your special little bundles ❤

Thanks @hopeful! Thinking of you, not much longer now.

Happy Mother's Day ladies, a hard day for us all to finally celebrate, but also to remember the journey we've had to get here!

Thanks @labmum. 30 weeks tomorrow!

Happy mother's day everyone and thank you hopeful.

Mog we've done the dreaded controlled crying. The first evening was very hard going but when I put her down last night we had a couple of whimpers and that was it. I know it is quite controversial and not for everyone, but it seems to have worked pretty well for us. She was becoming so unhappy during the daytime because of the lack of sleep that at least we felt we were doing it for her benefit, not just mine. And I'm not sure either DH or I had it in us to see any of the gentler but longer methods through.

Keepon - great it worked so quickly and easily for you and a not overtired, happy baby must be loads better. We have to have dd in our room still, so limits what we can do. I've stopped feeding to sleep for all wake ups last few days and think that is helping, so will keep doing that for now.

Hello!

So, Anne just told me about this group and I've just been reading back through the thread and I'm in tears (in a train station Costa!). I guess some of you will remember me - I certainly remember many of you and it's just incredible to see these happy endings after we chatted so much when we were all in so much pain. So, so many congratulations to you all.

DS is, unbelievably, 9 months next week - he's crawling and yesterday he learned how to clap (and now won't stop doing it!). I don't think that often about the period in my life when I thought I'd never have him, but I do say thank you for him every day (sort of as a prayer, sort of just to the universe). By no means is life with a baby all roses (we're also sleep training at the moment!) but I don't think I'll ever get quite over my joy and surprise that he's safely here - and my journey and losses were very minor compared to many of you. Getting a bit emotional again now so might stop there before I become a local spectacle...

Hi Lisa! Lovely to hear from you. Time just flies doesn't it!

Good luck with the sleep training. It has worked really well for us. DD has now started having naps in her cot in the daytime. Today I put her down awake and after some initial grumbling she slept for 2 hours! I couldn't quite believe it.

I hope everyone else is doing ok.

Hi @LisaSimpsonsbff welcome!! 😊
We are also trying to sleep train - more night wean I suppose. Ds will be 13 months tomorrow so I'm guessing should not need the 3 hourly feeds. Plus it was taking me over an hour to get him to sleep breastfeeding at the beginning of the night and he wasn't going back to sleep with it anymore when he woke up during the night. So we have swapped to bottle so at least dh can at least do the initial feed. We have now done 2 nights of no feeding after 7 o'clock bedtime bottle - but ds was pretty much up from 230 am this morning he dozed when cuddling in or being rocked and howled if put in the cot.. Eventually at 620 this morning I have up and we watched in the night garden downstairs in the sofa.. Before we left for childminders and work at 730!
I am going eventually he realises that there is no more milk to morning and maybe then he will also for a bit longer...
Despite the long nights and lack of sleep I am still just so relieved that he is here safely and the best feeling in the world to see his wee face light up when he spots me coming in from work! (Almost makes going to work worth it 😂)

Just found this, hope it's okay to join!

Hi unicorns and Lisa. Good to hear things are going well.

DD finally got 2 teeth in the last couple weeks, but it has made her so grumpy and sore. It must be so nasty having teeth push through gums.