Our rainbows are here - pregnancy after miscarriage or loss graduates

[Labmum]

Welcome ladies from the fresh start for pregnancy after miscarriage or loss thread.

Post-natal support group so we can all keep in touch after our rainbows have arrived!

Brief background from me;
March '15 - MMC at 12 weeks
May '16 - DS born
Oct '17 - MMC at 10 weeks
April '17 - MMC at 11 weeks
Jan '18 DD born

DD is now 3 weeks old and a little poppet. We're both doing great and I'm loving my squishy newborn cuddles even in the middle of the night.

Can't wait to see more of the ladies from the pregnancy after loss thread here! Bring on the rainbows!

Anne - wow so close to your due date now. How exciting. Fingers crossed for the next week or so for the birth and meeting your baby.

Hello Pineapple - I hope your DS is out of hospital soon. It must make it all more worrying being back in hospital, so hopefully when you are home you can relax and enjoy it more.

I've had a tiring few weeks with various things in the day meaning I have not been able to rest much and sleepless nights, so I am totally ready for the weekend and a quiet week next week afterwards.

Labmum not totally sure, but I think stinky farts are pretty common with babies that poo infrequently. Dd only did weekly poos and she had similar.

How’s everyone? Finally starting to get into a bit of a routine now. At least I think I am but everytime I think there’s a routine showing itself it changes!

Hi there. Seeing as I am awake with a cluster feeding baby I thought I would come and find you guys.
So I have a two week old dd. Which is just so incredible to type, think, say etc. It's all tinged with some very very strong emotions but I am so glad she is here.
We have had a rocky start with a pretty massive blood loss for me during c section. And a follow on problem establishing breastfeeding, losing weight, jaundice etc. But we seem to be winning that battle now and I am expressing, combining as much as possible.
My history;
Mc 1 at 9 wks in April 2016 (no development past 6.5 weeks ish)
Mc 2 at 9 wks in December 2016 (no development past 6.5 wks ish again)
Stillbirth of our beautiful dd1 in September 2017.
Welcomed our rainbow baby on 27th February 2019.

Have had loads of tests and have a septate/ bicornuate combination of uterus shape (@keeponrunning85 my obstetrician confirmed that there is a small dip in external contour during my csection). Dd1 died due to some kind of placental issue. Dd2 pregnancy I was on aspirin and heparin throughout and heavily monitored to check placenta function.
Dd2 delivered at 37+5 due to maternal mental health.

Miami so glad you've joined us! I hope things are settling down now and you and DH are enjoying getting to know your DD. When is your DH off work until?

When I had my section they said I also do have a slightly bicornuate uterus still. Septum is gone obviously.

We're good thanks paranormal. We braved the train just DD and I yesterday for the first time. It was a little tricky but we survived!

Otherwise we just continue the saga of trying to get DD out of the swaddle. We've given in and moved the giant cot bed into our room as she kept getting wedged in the bedside cot. And we're managing the first few hours with arms out of the swaddle although with lots of wake ups. Small victories at this stage!

Paranormal - haha I never manage a routine, poor DD just has to fit in with DS plans. She is very tolerant of that though.

Keepon - sounds like good idea just doing part of each night with arms out and you can hopefully increase time until swaddled. I love travelling on train with baby, find it less stressful than car as you can hold them / walk around etc, but probably just because that's what I'm used to.

Hi Miami - fantastic news about your daughter. It is such a special time at the newborn stage. I hope the trauma of the pregnancy and birth complications don't continue to affect you for too long. Was the blood loss partly due to taking blood thinners etc for so long? Good they were able to have a look at uterus shape. Would they recommend operating on it or is it small enough that not necessary? I hope weight gain and feeding get better with all your hard work. Added expressing for top ups is so time consuming. I had lot of blood loss with DS and it is only with hindsight and second birth I realised how much and long it affected me. I didn't leave house for 2 weeks and although I enjoyed that time at home, it was a necessity to get my strength back and energy due to blood loss. Even after those 2 weeks I got tired easily and had to built up slowly how much is did. If you feel similar don't try to do too much as rest is needed.

We are fine, enjoying the last couple of months of mat leave, so making lots of plans with friends, to make most of it. really feel like it is the countdown to work again. I've been relaxed about dd waking constantly overnight, but now I have prospect of going back to work it is beginning to worry me more. Not sure what solution is, but probably need to try and change something.

Anne - Hope all well with you.

Miami81 I’m so glad to see you here. I’ve been thinking about you a lot. We had similar feeding issues following blood loss at delivery this time so I can empathise with how difficult and exhausting the trying to feed, topping up and expressing cycle is. Be kind to yourself and try not to put too much pressure on yourself (this is advice I didn’t take myself but I wish I had!). If I can help in any way please let me know.

Keep arms out sounds like progress! My 3 month old is actually asleep since 9pm and I’m wide awake with giant leaking breasts wondering why she’s asleep!

So amazing to see you all with your wonderful babies No more deserving brave admirable mums in the world x

I’m struggling a bit today tbh and I know this isn’t the place but as you’re all out the other side, is it normal to feel like I’m losing my shit a bit? I’ve been relatively sane during this pregnancy and I think I had an end point in sight and now it’s past (albeit I’m only two days over) I’m really weepy, frustrated, impatient and out of sorts. Had two or three hours last night of what felt like proper contractions up to 4 or 5 an hour, went to sleep, woke up to nothing at all, and spent today panicking about movements. Which I’m getting, and baby hiccups, but not as much as yesterday, so started having awful thoughts and DH and I spent half an hour poking the bump. I’m sure it’s absolutely fine and if I was worried I’d go in, but I’m so sick of being the only one responsible for keeping it okay I’m just done now. Saw midwife yesterday and declined a sweep then she said she couldn’t have done it anyway as cervix was only a bit effaced and open. Everything else was completely fine and now I’m just feeling grumpy and out of control and bored of bloody waiting. Only so much sex and stupid tea and housework and bouncing on the sodding ball I can do.... When is the baby coming?!

Please excuse the rant

Rant away Anne, you know we don't mind! I had a planned section (and they did it a day early in the end), so I have no experience of the waiting game and not knowing when someone might make an appearance but I very much had the feeling of just wanting her to be here so I could see her and know that she was ok. I really felt like time slowed back down again those last few weeks.

You've got this. Just try and take each day/hour/minute if necessary one at a time. And I hope this baby turns up soon for you.

Anne - totally understandable to feel that way, especially when the real wait has been so much longer than 9 months. I agree being patient is harder after due date, I went 10 days over. Something changes when that supposed end date is reached, even though it is only an estimate. Also I think the fear ramped up as I knew it had to be imminent.

Definitely get checked if you are worried, but the contractions might have moved baby into different position (lower?) which has altered movement. Everyone is different but sounds like you are close. I had 1 night similar to yours, then it stopped and then dd was born 2 days later. I found actual labour took me by suprise when it started properly, so hopefully it will be soon for you.

Lots of babies born at night, so maybe tomorrow you will have your baby. You can totally do this.

That was meant to say BY tomorrow.

Thank you both so much. Poor DH wasn’t sure what to do with me. I’ve cried way less than normal most of the last 9 months and i proper lost it with sheer panic and frustration. Bump looks and feels different, softer at the top and like a basketball really low and sort of stuck on at the front so I think you’re right mog. Limbs aren’t in the place I’m used to them being.

I’ve been having proper tightenings going on for a week now and just assumed it would have happened by now, that’s all. Much impatience from my DSC bless them, they keep bloody asking and all I can say is no one knows when it’ll be here but I’m doing what I can. Apparently they’ve been waiting ages. Yup. I got my bfp around 3+5 so it’s been a while!

Totally normal Anne. My first baby was 11 days overdue and I nearly lost my mind by the time she appeared. Time goes so slowly by the end. This time I only got to 37 weeks but I kept thinking that I couldn’t believe I made it to almost 42 weeks the previous time!

If you have any concerns about a change in movement do get checked though. Fingers crossed we will have news of a new little one soon!

@keepon hope the swaddle transition is going ok. Doing it gradually sounds like the best idea. We went cold turkey and it was tough.

@MogScratch we are the same in terms of routine, DD just has to fit in with DS.

@paranormal everything is still very variable here, most nights one night feed but occasionally two and on one lovely night none! Times and lengths of daytime sleeps is variable too. Think it'll take a while to settle into anything like a routine. 4 month sleep regression will mess anything up anyways!

@Miami so glad to see you here and congratulations on DD arrival, it must feel so surreal to finally have her here. The feeding sounds tough with the expressing, my sister had to do it with my nephew and it just looked exhausting, I hope things get easier soon. Eat lots of oats, drink LOADS and rest as much as you can. You can get recipes online for lactation cookies although I just make flapjack to nibble on during the night shift.

@Anne I was very fortunate with both of mine going into labour early so didn't have the waiting. Once I finished work I relied on my keeping busy distraction technique to try tame the anxiety. It all sounds like things are ramping up though with the pains and the weepiness. I was super emotional before DD arrived at the thought of the last few days of my Son being an only child and in labour I kept crying because I wanted DS hugs! Take care, you are so close now, enjoy this remaining time just you and DH as baby will be here so soon!

DD is almost 7 weeks now, she's just lovely and seems to like her sleep so far so I'm making the most of it while it lasts. We've been getting a few smiles, big brother got the first one, she loves watching him play and is so tolerant of his affections. She's on to her second cold and this one seems really nasty, bless her she got a horrible cough and is so snuffly but she's too little to be able to use anything decent to ease it for her. I also have the same cold so I know how she feels as with breastfeeding I can't take any good drugs! The joys of having an older child in nursery who is a walking Petri dish of germs!

It’s happening

Woke up with really strong period pain and contractions are lasting a minute and are every 8 or so. Going to hop in the bath. Blimey.

Eeeeek! Best of luck Anne. Will be thinking of you.

Good luck @Anne! Thinking of you!

Good luck Anne!!

Good luck @AnneLovesGilbert

@annelovesgilbert - ooh amazing. I hope it has all gone well today and you are giving your gorgeous baby cuddles and milk (or will be soon). Excited to hear your update

@AnneLovesGilbert I hope all is done now and that you have had your first night cuddling baby.
Thanks for the lovely welcome all.
Just realised I've been trying to wake dd since 7 and she's not due feeding til 8. Three hr feeding schedule and lack of sleep have made me
Very confused!!!!

@Miami my DD was never one for being woken to feed. If I tried she'd latch for 10secs and go back to sleep so I just stopped trying and waited for her to wake herself 😬, I never woke my DS either as midwives never told me to. Know it's a bit trickier when expressing and trying to up supply though.

@Anne hoping you are happily cuddled up in a newborn bubble with DH. Been thinking of you!

Haha oops I know that delirious confusion,but my baby is happy to wake herself and me frequently all on their own. Haha! The enforced 3 hour feeds must be really draining though and think I'd struggle to get back to sleep, knowing it was my responsibility to do the waking up. How long will you have to keep up that and express top ups?

I hope Anne is ok and just wrapped up in a cosy bubble with her baby and her DH.

Well DD seems to have suddenly decided she can sleep with her arms out of the swaddle YIPPEEEEEEE! She's managed the whole night with her arms out 3 out of the last 4 nights. And I think Friday was a bad blip because we were away.

How's everyone else doing?

Miami how's feeding going? We had to do top ups for the first 8 weeks. I used a Haaka pump which collects the let down from the side you're not feeding from. It might be a bit early for you to use one at the mo and I'm not sure how helpful it would be if your supply is low, but I found it really useful and much less faff than pumping.

Awesome news on the swaddling @keeponrunning85.
I have read about the Hakka. I will look into it.
Things are going ok. Dd likes food which is helpful. She's getting weighed today again. Last time she was still 130g off birthweight but we had made great strides.
I am hoping that we get to bw either today or Wednesday (Wednesday is 3 wks).
I think today will be her last day in early baby clothes. We will be moving into newborn I think. Very exciting and obviously means she is growing well.