July 2007 - yet starting in June!

[Jamantha]

Well, I can't see a post natal July 2007 thread, so will start this, even though Charlotte, my DD was born 4.5 weeks early in June. I'm sure the other July ladies will be along soon enough.

Have had 2 nights at home now. Yesterday afternoon was fairly distressing as Charlotte wouldn't latch on, and if she did she wouldn't suck. But have got loan of electric pump from hospital, and support from midwives and now managing with comination of breast, expressed and formula milk, sometimes all three in the same feed. Finding it quite emotional, with all the issues associated with feeding one's baby, but trying to stay calm as found out yesterday that getting self into a state doesn't help anyone.

Dh has just gone out to get some things we're still missing, and I'm putting my feet up for a bit. Phil & Ted has just arrived so we might try a stroll down to the ante natal class tonight!

Any how, hope there are lots of lovely birth stories to come from July ladies, and that we can swap advice, give each other moral support etc over the coming weeks and months.

csb - I symphathise - dh is brilliant but does have to be ASKED to do anything, before it was 50:50. And he is inclined to forget to do tasks if I don't remind him. But if I say it too often then I am "nagging" - grrrrrrrrrr.

Also will come home from work and go straight on the internet - WTF?? I mean has the world changed since he left worked and looked at it there? I have banned this and told him to play with ds when he gets in or we might as been have not bothered having a child.

Weekend was too quick although on the major plus side ds only woke once in the night both times so that was lovely.

AND dreaded routine question: ds and I nap and feed in the morning till about 9-11 depending. Then we do housework ("we" LOL) and I feed on demand. If we go out then I feed before then and he naps when he wants.

Do you think it's worth getting the feeds in a routine in the day, or should I just continue to follow ds? It doesn't make loads of difference to me as I only have one baby but just wondering if it would be better for both of us to have a routine.

What do you all think? ds is about 2 months old now.

theprecious - I think you should just do what suits you. There is no right and wrong and as long as you are happy it doesnt matter.

Chubby - I think our DH's are related! How about this then (my turn to rant now!)....DH keeps telling me to rest (yeah right!) but because he isnt helping around the house, it doesnt get done unless I do it!!!! All he kept saying was 'why dont you sit down?'! BECAUSE WE CANT BOTH SIT DOWN AND STARE AT THE TV ALL DAMN DAY!!!!

Saturday ~(after a huge moan from me about the house) he stormed out at 2pm and didnt come home until he was completely legless with burger in hand (for himself!) It was approaching 9pm. He then informed me that he was sick of sitting in the house and doing nothing but go to work....I was so shocked I was lost for words....SELFISH BA**ARD!

Im still steaming over it and cannot imagine how I am going to cook his tea without spitting in it....infact Im not doing any dinner!

Further rant - am still stuck in dressing gown and haven't even showered because LO refuses to sleep - 3 feeds so far and just whingeing and crying and NOT SLEEPING!

MEN!

theprecious- I agree that its up to you whether to introduce a "routine"- it sounds like you already have one though, which if it works for you both, just stick to it. I personally would much rather have a routine, as I find it easier to know when DS is tired/hungry etc. He tends to feed every 3 hours or so, and have 2 or 3 naps a day. But that's about all there is to it. He doesn't get up at the same time every day, and naps vary in length, but we do stick to a regular bedtime. I try to time trips out based around him, which can be a bit restrictive, so if your LO is happy to go with the flow, make the most of it.

Hi All
Sorry to hear some of you have DH/P that need things spelling out before you get any help. I think they forget what we've been through and as their day to day life doesn't really change much they think ours doesn't and expect the same housework etc done as we did before baby! My DH always said how hard can it be to stay at home, look after a baby and do the housework. After a week off doing just that he now appreciates how hard it actually is. (time for smug smiley) hes been brilliant though.

Update on LO not sleeping: Well, we've tried swaddling which seems to work but I have to get the time right for swaddling her- it has to be when she is properly asleep or else she'll fully wake up and I'll have to spend ages settling her again. The other thing we've tried is to lay her on her side proped up with rolled up blakets. It seems to really work so far- touch wood!!

Was heaven today- I went to my mums, gave her a couple of expressed bottles and then went to bed while she looked after DD. We'd had a couple of nights where DD had woken up at 2am and not gone back down so I was exhausted. Had a lovely long bath, blowdried my hair and put make up on. I felt like me again after!! Yey!!

Also, did the 'deed' the other night and even though I'd been cut it didn't hurt at all and I wasn't sore after.

Hope everyone is OK and LOs and being Angels

xx

PS: Regarding routines- we tried to get LO into a routine and in the end gave up. Shes generally good so fingers crossed we will get into one naturally. I've found that if I try and force her to go to sleep at a certain time it makes things worse as she will get herself worked up and so take me ages to get her off. x

Well, LO went to sleep eventually - after 10pm!

He did nothing more than nap on my shoulder through the day, and then about 15 mins in his chair when DP got home. So he spent the evening wailing and kicking and grizzling. He spent his first whole night in our bed (buggered if I was sleeping on the futon again last night, it's seriously uncomfy for lying on your side which I have to if I'm feeding LO - as an aside, the way my boobs are going I'll soon be able to feed LO from another room, but I can't quite get them to stretch down if I'm on my back ... yet) and spent an hour up making very strange shrieky noises before going back to sleep around 4. DP bleary-eyed but not making any comment on the matter this morning

Re routines - I try to do bath/feed/bed every night, partly for my sanity and partly for DP, so he gets a chance to spend time bathing LO. Having said that we don't bother if we're going out (snort) or there's something happening which messes it up. Through the day I go with the flow - just roughly work round him and only set off out once he's fed and changed, which is no more restrictive than if he were in a routine really. Routine is great if it works but it makes you so miserable if it falls apart so I'm trying not to stress about it. It really is one of those horses for courses things.

bilblio = dd has been like that for the last few days. Just had her weighed and she has put on 11oz (300g?) in 6 days so I guess it probably is a growth spurt for your lo too. My DD is 8 wks but seems to have her growth spurts 2 wks later than expected.

late entry on the room poll - DD sleeps either in her crib in the living room or her cotbed in her room during the day. At night she sleeps in her room from 7pm(ish) until 10.30(ish - depends on how long it takes us to wake her up!) Then when I have finished feeding her she sleeps in her moses basket in our room. I tend to feed her in the spare room at night if we haven't got company because it's comfier than the dining chair in the nursery and DH gets moody if I feed her in our room because she is so noisy and apparently I rock the bed when I am winding her!

DS is constipated. It is like little pellets. He screams when passing them. I feel so sorry for him. Does anyone have any ideas how to remedy this. MIL recommends brown sugar in his bottle! Never heard of this . Is it right!

I have had the weekend/week/month from hell.

Can I get off now please?

Agnes

Lots of sympathies to all those with DP's with blinkers. I'm in the same boat. DP doesn't work so we're both at home all day but I have to point out almost every task. To be fair, he does do them when I have pointed them out, it'd just be nice if it was instinctive.
What I'm trying to do as part of establishing a routine for DD is get one for him too. I'm even thinking about doing a cleaning rota, a couple of jobs each day, so everything gets done every week. We do this at work, it's a 5 bedroomed house there but cleaning only takes half an hour a day. So far DP is doing great with the tasks to do with DD, he's still struggling with the housework ones though.

At the moment though my biggest gripe is the hours he keeps. He'll stay up till 2 or 3am, and sleeps till 11am. DD and I have started waking him up earlier, but he looks that cheesed off, or spends all day saying he's tired, which cheeses me off no end. The other day I broke down crying because I was at the end of my tether. It was 11am, DD and I had had a bad night, she cried every time I put her down, and I just wanted a shower and something to eat... some sleep would be good too. Since then he's tried a bit more, but we've a long way to go. I don't want him to get up at 7am, I'm a grumpy soul in the morning, but by 9am I'd like some help and company.
The other reason I want him more involved is that in April I'll be back at work, so for 3-4 days a week he'll be looking after DD full time. It'll be a real shock for him, especially when I'm on a 24 hour shift.

Rant over... on routines, I've not tried to get DD into a daytime one, but she seems to be working one out herself, so I'm leaving it to her.
I totally misjudged it today though. I took her to be weighed, then planned on going from there straight to my parents 45 minutes drive away.
Everything took me longer than I expected though so she was crying for food by the time we left the clinic, plus she'd poo'd over everything and I'd no spare vests for her so I decided the wisest thing was to start again. I went home, fed her, got clean clothes and managed to get out on the 2nd attempt.

hey everyone...i need some sanity so thought id sit at the pc for a while...DS has been screaming for no reason for what seems like ages...i was attempting to cook dinner but to hell with it!

i now have him balanced on my lap with dummy in hand! his bottom lip is still quivering! makes me so upsset when i can't soothe him.

princess - well done on doing the deed and having no pain...we are still trying.

whats everyone doing re. contraception? i have just got the mini pill but never taken it before. dont want to rely on the fact im breastfeeding and have been assured this pill is safe for LO. kind of feel bad though for some reason.

Ive started the mini pill. Not that ive had time or inclination to try anything though!!

I started to have a period about three days into it and am still on about a week later. How have people got the time to have sex. I dont want to eat in to my precious sleep time.

I am knackered at the moment James seems to be reverting back to only having a three hour block of sleep instead of four at night. He does go back down but only for another two hour block then is up freqently for feeds during the early hours.

I went to baby massage today but could only watch as he had his injections yesterday. It was good. Only one troublesome baby out of six...yes you guessed it ..mine!!! I have a feeling he is going to be the disruptive one in the class, with the loudest cry by far.

Hope everyone is ok and Agnes hope you feel better soon and are getting some support from somewhere??

contraception-wise - in the long term, dh is going to go for the snip - family is now complete!! . Short term we haven't actually sorted anything out but will probably use condoms (though we both hate them).

Agnes hope you are coping ok. PND is difficult. I've had baby blues a few times and wondered how I'd cope with PND. Just keep on here and talk to us if you need to.

Bilibo I hear you on the DP issue. Nearly hit him the other day when he told me to take DS and DD for a walk so HE COULD HAVE TO SPACE AS HE WAS STRESSED. Since DS has been born he hasn't changed a nappy or done a night feed (or day feed for that matter)
I'll be honest with you lot as we have known each other long enough. I had an affair that finished 18 months ago. 9 months B4 I got pregnant with DS. It plays on DP mind that DS may not be his. It hurts when he says it as I know DS is completely and totally his. I made a huge mistake back then and I'm living with it to this day!. I've offered DP a DNA test to prove I telling the truth but he hasn't took it yet. He has always wanted a son and I feel he doesn't want to get attached to him in case he finds out he isn't his (WHICH HE IS) Anyway I think this is the reason he doesn't involve himself. He spends all day convincing himself that DS looks nothing like him.DS looks just like DD did at his age. This is the argument that keeps rearing its ugly head and it is upsetting. I know I am the only one who really knows DS parentage and because I lied to him nearly two years ago he has an element of doubt in him at all times.
I know it is all my fault. I want him to take the test but he says it is a waste of £150. Not sure why he says that as it would put his mind at ease and stop all the petty bitchy comments.
Anyway we are off to show James to his mum's family tomorrow in Holyhead. I just hope someone can see that James does look like DP or he'll get down again.
On the contraception front. Have started taking Cilest again two days ago but don't plan on indulging anytime soon. Eventually want to be sterlised but everyone keeps telling me to think seriously about it. I will get the implant put back in for three years and then go for sterlisation. I want to be in control of my own fertility

Ooh dear Typhoonsmum. That's really tricky. Really hope things get a bit easier for you all.

Just had 24 hours of hell. DH is away for three days and DD comes home from nursery saying her tummy aches. By 5.00 she has diarrhea, at the exact moment that LO has her physio appointment in the lounge. DH waves me a jaunty wave and heads off for 48 hours.
By 6.30 DD is vomitting on everything in sight - on our bed, of course - covering sheets, mattress, duvet - all has to be washed. Had to call my mum and dad to take over LO, who was her having her evening screamathon, while I put DD back in the bath, washed her hair, cleaned the bed and floor, put on three washes, etc.
Got LO down at 9.00 and DD to bed shortly after, only for DD to throw up all over her cot at 1.00 this morning.Cue more washing, another bath for her. At least LO slept through all the commotion.
Had the most tiring day today. DD all clingy and washed out, understandably. Just wants to sit on my lap; LO screaming for England. Poor DD desperate to sleep; just not getting the chance with her little sister howling. I felt so sorry for the pair of them - there just didn't seem enough of me to go round.
DH is home tomorrow night, and I'm meant to be going to see Prince playing at the O2, but I'm too bloody knackered. Was going to be my one night out in a year...

kehead what a nightmare not looking forward to the vomit scenario with two was bad enough when dd1 was sick last time. Hope your dd is feeling better soon just count down the hours til dh returns, and thank god for parents!!!!

Hi all,

lee is fully recovered now and being a dream baby..

We moved on Friday, so things have been up in the air again!! Just my bedroom to sort out.. luckily dh bosses csancelled his course in the uk as babs had just come out of hospital.. but they have put him on excercise for 2 weeks.. so he isnt getting ome till very late.. SO I am juggling 3 kids unpacking and getting old house ready for a march out!!.. DD started her new school today and she liked it. DS1 starts FS1 tommorrow.. so atleast I will have the mornings of just ds2 and I.

My mum has to hae radio thereapy she had some evasive (think thats the right word..) cancer cells.. nt sure how bad or anything yet..

TBH I think at the oment I am taking everything in my stride as if I start to dwell on thepast month I am going to start crying and not stop!!..

DH has knackered my dishwasher and washing machine in the move.. (dishwasher I can do with out but no washing machina dn three kids!!!) since we moved both have leaked.. and flooded the kitchen and the utility room!!.

Phoned dd dad to ask were maintenance is as he hasnt paid.. ( he still pwes 9months worth from last year!!) he should have paid mid august.. he waits for me to phone to tell me he has jacked his job in so cant pay it!!.. He is suposed to be having her for xmas.. buit if he doesnt start paying then she is not gong as I am certainly not paying for the flights.. when I am not getting any maintenance.. am I being unreasonable.. Another headache just what I need like I havent had enough goiung on!!!..

Sorry to rant..

Typhoonsmujm- hope things are ok with you and your dh and he starts to trust you again very soon, and starts to bond with James.

Agnes- I have suffered from sever depression.. (PND and normal!!)I hope you are ok and get all the support you need.

Toeveryone else hope you are all ok..

On the contraception front.. we have done withdrawel twice!! Risky I know.. I have bought some condems for now.. but we both hate using them.. (TBH I am broody!!!! dh is ready to kill me I think!!) he is going for the snip at somepoint cant see doc about it agin till oct then they will set a date..

I cant take the pill or have the coils.. trhey all disagree with me and I become an even bigger bitch on the extra hormones.. the normal coil I just bleed and bleed and get contractios with each period..

Going to start my diet as pissed of as have no clothes maternity to big normal clothes just too small!! aaaaagggghhhh.

Take care all sorry it was a long one.

MelissaM
"DH gets moody if I feed her in our room because she is so noisy and apparently I rock the bed when I am winding her!"

That silly book Venus and Mars says that women say "The rubbish bin is full" when they should say "the rubbish bin is full, please empty it" so that a man understands. I say shame on men for being so dim.

Well that trip went well. All DP family said that James looked like him and he has been paying more attention to him. I was really panicking. If his own family couldn't see the likeness then I think the row would have been huge!
They said that although James' face looks like mine and DD his head shape is definitely DP's. I breathed a sigh of relief. Maybe now he'll believe me.

thats good news typhoonsmum.xx

Gosh, we're awfully quiet, aren't we? Anybody there?

arrrrghhhhh my broadband has been playing up! Bloody Bulldog, we've had FOUR BT engineers round to no avail.

We went out alone for our fourth wedding anniversary, not far, to the pub next door! My sister babysit and it was cool.

Apart from that I have been knackered, with a slight tummy bug...... TMI alert - anyone else force to go big jobs while holding the baby? It can't just be me..... can it? This is at 2am. Yuck.

Hope everyone OK - congrat son your new house to 2+1. And good news about ds typnoonsmum.

Also John Lewis in Oxford Circus has parent's room to die for, if you need to feed baby while out (and in London), head there. I love JL.