Newborn - how do you get anything done?

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My dd is five weeks old. Really struggling with getting anything achieved - ever. It gets to 2pm, and I’m not dressed, she’s not dressed, house is a state. Today I got dressed at 3.30 and only because I had a friend coming over...
I look a mess, she has developed nappy rash. I have no idea how as I am changing her as often as I possibly can, every hour or so.
My partner works late, got in last night at 11. So he is no help. Plus I am bf her so I am up all night.
I have cancelled plans, despite the best of intentions to get up and out, missed loads of baby groups I said I would attend, and basically feel like I am losing my mind.
Anyone got any words of wisdom? Or hope?

At this stage things can be very hard still- be kinder to yourself and lower your expectations.

Practical stuff:
Can your partner take her for 20 min before work so you can shower and get your kit on?

First thing in the morning, get trousers and shoes on. Sooo much easier to leave the house once that’s done, even if you just chuck a coat over your pyjama top. Or wear black leggings that you can sleep in and go out in.

She’s a baby, she can stay in sleepsuits/whatever as long as her nappy hasn’t leaked. Plenty of time for clothes later.

Nappy rash is a bastard. Put Bepanthen on every time you change, and give her some nappy-free time (on a towel!).

Go out every day, in whatever outfit, even if it’s just to buy a pint of milk from Tesco.

Keep meeting people and making plans. I have a 12 week old. We’re all bloody late/cancel for things all the time, that’s just how it is for now.

Keep food prep/shopping/meals simple. I sometimes make a huge vat of something on Sunday that sees us through Wednesday (or gets batched up in the freezer). Use home delivery if feasible.

Fuck the house.

It gets easier .

Also have a DD who is 5 weeks old today, I think it's routine.

We FF so after her first bottle in the morning I have a brew then I get dressed and washed. DD gets dressed after her bottle.

Sometimes it goes to pot. Like today I didn't get a bath until half 9 I'd not even brushed my hair, she's not let me put her down today so I put her in a sling while I folded some washing and washed the pots.

At the end of the day I tell myself everybody fed and nobody dead. That's my job done!

You're both alive at the end of the day be easier on yourself. One day it just clicked for me! We were out the house before 9am, in the coffee shop, me with coffee and cake, baby on the boob and then wandered up to my mums that was about 4 months Be kind to yourself

I honestly felt like this too but trust me it gets easier! I found preparing for the next day the night before helped too... so if I had plans I would basically lay out my clothes (including pants) and DD outfit... and pack my changing bag too! Also I managed to get a lot of housework done by downloading a white noise app on my phone so when DD got grumpy I would put her in swing chair and play her rain falling or hoover noises and she would stay happy for a while whilst I washed up or had a quick tidy! - remember it won't last forever and you'll eventually find your own way of making it work xxx

It's ok! Embrace it. Honestly, you will never have such a brilliant excuse to be in your Pjs at lunch time! To watch grown up tv in the daytime...etc. This is very much what my first 6 months was like with my first. I did always get out of the house at one point every day and it saved my mental health. It flies so quickly and I have great memories of those days. Just love love love that precious little one, house can wait:)

It gets easier! I had the same issue. DS was so clingy, I once had to have him on my lap while I used the toilet!
She'll soon be a lot more alert and independent.
PP mentioned showering before your husband leaves. That's what I had to do when he was tiny. He's 4 months now and it's a lot easier.
You'll get there

My Ds is 11 months and some days we still don't manage to get dressed.so you're in good company!

I used to drag the Moses basket into the bathroom to get a shower when Ds was small but the logistics are considerably harder now he's a mischief making cruiser

It gets much easier. At around 5/6 weeks my life got so much better when i got him a bouncy vibratey chair that i could rest my feet on and just bounce him rather than have him permanently in my arms. It took a week or so but once he got used to it he would nod off in it, which meant less of the dreaded transfer. Later we graduated to the play gym which still entertains him for ages and means i can potter around him.

I think the way i coped was as i was getting him to sleep, i'd decide what the most urgent thing i needed to do for myself was. As soon as i managed to get him in the moses, i'd do it. Could be having something to eat, showering, getting dressed etc. I'd put a little make up on even if i wasn't going out for hours yet in case i didn't get another chance. Then i'd start on the next urgent and so on until i'd either done everything i wanted to or (more often) he woke up

I remember at five weeks being really pleased because I managed to meet up with my antenatal group for lunch at 1pm. Aim low for now!

I have a four week old and in the same boat. But I have older children so I know this passes! Just go with it rather than fighting it. Accept not much will get done. Have a shower when you can, put laundry in at night when your husband is home, eat simply. Before long your baby will be happy under a play gym and you will get more done. You’ll also get out more. For now, feed the baby, eat cake and watch TV

Perfectly normal but of course knowing that doesn't really make it any less frustrating!

I have an unputdownable 6 weeker so I hear you :)

A decent comfy sling is invaluable BTW. Now that I've had some help fitting it properly I barely feel her weight. I'd be using it constantly if I didn't also have a 10yo desperate for cuddles with her baby sister

Put her in a sling, it's a life saver.
My heart goes out to you, Just remember it gets better.

Ok, so feeling slightly relieved I am not alone! My other ‘mum’ mates are always out and about, bright eyed and bushy tailed, shopping and doing ‘stuff’ whilst I am weeping in a heap on the sofa. Ok they have about two or so weeks more practice on me, but still.
Been doing the popping to Tesco thing, except I find by the time we are both presentable (or I’ve finished mopping up after her latest freestyle wee all over the changing mat) that it’s bloody dark, and it’s only grim determination that gets me there. And then she shrieks when I get her there.
Feel like there is some sort of pressure to function like a normal human, and feel like a bit of a failure that I don’t seem to be achieving it, to be honest. Maybe I will look into getting a sling.
Dp works long hours (and his knobhead of a boss told him the other day, when he tried to alter his shift and was refused, that the job came first and his family came second....?!?)
Anyhow, just not really feeling cut out for being a mother right now... thanks for all your wise words and tips.

essentialhummus cheers for the nappy rash cream tip by the way...! Poor little monkey, looks so sore and obviously means nappy changes are painful for her... and my ear drums.

Best advice I ever got was to remember that a good day is one where you brush both your teeth and your hair!

I’m 12 weeks in and I promise it does get easier! The very best thing for nappy rash is fresh air- stick baby on the changing mat and leave them with their nappy off for as long as possible- then use a mix of metanium and bepantheon/aqueous cream/ white soft paraffin + canestan if it looks like thrush. My other top tip is a cordless vacuum- it’s the only way anything ever gets done!

Those of you with slings, can you tell me which ones you have? I think that might be the answer to a few of my problems, not least because I feel like no sooner do I sit down for literally a second then I have to leap up again as she wakes up etc. And won’t settle again til I have fed her or rocked her back to sleep

Oh gosh, remember sobbing on the phone to my mum when DS was similar age.

Mum: I know it's really hard to get out of the house when they are small
Me: The house? I can't even get out of this chair!

Milk monster DS feeding constantly. I was a mess!

It will get better, honestly. Chin up

fragglerock I have brushed my teeth today, but not my hair... am I half winning? At the sake of sounding like a complete idiot, can you get the nappy rash cream in boots/Superdrug? Or is it over the counter?

I had a Kari-me sling for DD, it's one of those soft stretchy pieces of jersey fabric. It was great, and definitely helped with the getting out of the house bit.

I have an 8 week old - his bouncer is a godsend, after morning feed I stick him in there so I can shower. I have a Hana stretchy wrap which is a super sling to help me get things done round the house if I'm inclined.

As long as I'm showered and dressed and he's clean, anything else is a bonus.

Re nappy rash, are you using wipes? If so I'd switch to cotton wool and water, and dry her with a muslin - yellow metanium in a super thin layer (literally a swipe from the end of the tube) should clear it up quite quickly. Lots of nappy free time.

Everybody is in the same boat, it does get easier - 8 weeks is ten times easier than 5, promise

I have a close caboo. I tried a few others first but this one suits me, easy to put on (like a wrap but pre tied) and a little stretchy and snug. Obviously it involves getting out of the house but if you can find a sling library that could be helpful as there's such a range out there. I took a risk on this one after trying a few loans from friends

www.amazon.co.uk/gp/aw/d/B06Y2BBK6H/ref=mp_s_a_1_1_a_it?ref=plSrch&keywords=Close+caboo+sofia&dpPl=1&dpID=51rTcgHSy9L&tag=mumsnetforum-21&ie=UTF8&qid=1512777083&sr=8-1

rhinestone I got all ready the other day to go and pick the dog up from the dog walker, was extremely proud of myself for getting the baby ready to go (at 5 sodding pm), rang him to tell him I was on my way, opened the front door, realised I was in my dressing gown, with nothing else on... cue a small sob and a further hour delay to pick up my poor dog from my very patient walker. Should’ve stayed on the sofa.

Buy an automatic baby swing they are fantastic and if baby is happy and even sleeping gives you a few hands free minutes to have a shower, get dressed, eat What you are describing is absolutely and completely normal life with a newborn.

I’ve got bouncer/rocker thingy that has a vibrate setting etc which settles her but obviously have to be close by to keep rocking it so a self rocking one might be a plan.
Will definitely look up local sling libraries that start at least after midday to get an idea of what might suit. Thanks for the recommendations.
Just feel so helpless when I think it’s safe to get on with something like the washing, and she starts howling within 30 seconds of my leaving the sodding room.