March 2016 - quick, a new thread!

[Swearwolf]

Sorry for the terrible title, I saw the old thread was up to 996 posts and panicked!

Ooh don't I feel important

Baby pasta is great with sticky sauce once they're using cutlery, but it's stupid before that if you're doing BLW. Fusilli is really good for picking up themselves.

T is constipated and dehydrated after 3 days without nursing during the day and eating solids. She cried and strained for 3 hours in the middle of the night and I am shattered. I'd intended to go home for lunch to nurse her today, but DH is going to try highly diluted (1:10) apple juice and offer it every 10-15 minutes when she's awake, to see if that helps. He's also gone in search of prune puree. Tomorrow is a half day, thank goodness.

Me glad to hear the cold has gone and that there is light at the end of the tunnel. Bad sleeping here with e's snotty nose and feeding is tricky too. Mossi poor Z too. Colds are the pits.

Another amazingly unhelpful health visitor story here. Went to clinic to her E weighed and I ended up being very tearful there. I've been feeling it off and on for a few weeks and the fact she didn't really feed this morning made me really anxious. The lovely weighing lady was very kind and said speak to the heart visitor she is very experienced. She was shit. The first thing she told me was that if I am anxious E will be. Incredibly helpful for someone who is telling you they are struggling. Then despite me telling her E sometimes only feeds every 5 hours she said "right so she feeds every 3 hours". Then she basically said she doesn't understand why I'm tearful now 6 months in, neither do I but again make me feel even more shit about myself. Then at the end said she might come to my house (over my dead body) and to "be happy". I went straight to my bootcamp class after and cried on them who are relative strangers. So now I look a loon to them and feel one myself.

Sorry for the all about me rant, I'm just annoyed because you read about pnd and baby blues and the advice is talk to someone. Well I did and it was worse. I also just want to stop feeling this way, I don't get why I am.

Missi sorry I changed your name

Oh MShip that must be really stressful. Fingers crossed the apple juice and prunes help. Is she having water during the day or just refusing all liquids that do not come in the form of a boob? Hope it improves for you.

Missi I hope Z is ok. It must be so hard when a simple cold which would leave another baby a bit grotty for a few days could land him back in hospital. There seems to be loads going round at the moment and I'm sure it's only going to get worse as winter sets in!

Thanks for the pasta tips, lots of things to try! I am doing a mix of finger foods and spoon feeding with DS so I think tonight we're going to try chopped spaghetti with a cheesy sauce (he seems to wolf down anything with cheese in it) and then another day we'll try penne or fusilli as finger food.

X-post Purple - sorry you are feeling so low. I know it doesn't really help to hear about other babies but DS quite happily goes 5 hours between feeds sometimes. In fact the other day he went 6 hours because I just completely forgot a feed

Can you see your GP and ask to be referred for some counselling? One of my mum friends is in a very similar position to you at the moment, baby is 7 months and she is feeling very anxious and depressed, she was referred for some therapy by the HV and she said it is slowly starting to help. Talking to friends isn't always enough and professionals are there to help you.

Sorry to hear you've been feeling low recently Purple. And what awful advice from that hv - 'be happy'?? Really??? She should work in mental health with that fantastically helpful advice . As Me said, is your gp someone you could speak to? You are right that its important to speak to someone. You could have PND which you need proper support with or you could just be feeling really overwhelmed with it all at the minute, in which case it might be helpful to have someone you can offload to. Over the last couple of months I've been feeling increasingly depressed, kept feeling like I wanted to cry but couldn't and just generally felt horribly overwhelmed by it all. I ended up completely losing it about a week ago and had to call my mum to come over to look after the kids so I could take a break to calm down. I had a long chat with her about it all and things have been much much easier this past week. If you have a friend you can talk to that might help you too?

Sorry to hear about the anxiety and feeling low, purple and trinpy. I'm in the same boat a bit myself today. It's been such a shit week for T, even though I'm enjoying being back at work I'm feeling horribly guilty that my baby is suffering because I'm not there to feed her. Yes, me, she's refusing all liquids that are not from my boobs.

I'm so tired today from the all night feeding marathons and last night's poo theatre. I'm feeling nauseous and especially sad when I pump, has anyone else found this? I have to go to a meeting now, but had to get this down or I'll be bursting into tears in front of the collaborators.

Sorry to hear your feeling low purple and trip. And purple what a stupid thing for the health visitor to say! I hope you have someone you can talk to in RL to offload to. And as others said maybe your GP could help?!
Mship hope your feeling better. Ella's kitchen do a purée with prunes in it, I give this to DS when he's struggling with constipation, this and diluted Apple juice usually do the trick. Fingers crossed it works for T.
Missi sorry to hear your DS is poorly, seems to be going round at the moment poor little mites!

for all of those who need it...

Thanks all and Trin and Mship I'm so sorry to hear you struggling too. Since my last post I've spoken to one of my best mates and told her how I feel and she was lovely. Then my health visitor who did my initial home visits after E was born phoned. She is very normal and nice, she basically said it's normal and it doesn't matter if you don't know why you feel this way. She is coming to see me on Wednesday to have a chat. She has suggested seeing my GP but I'm not sure I want that yet. I'll see though.
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Trin I think it is a bit of being overwhelmed and hopefully not proper PND. It's going to sound daft but I had such a wonderful summer with ds home. Now he is at school, my lovely neighbour new baby friend is back at work, my other friends are at work, even the people I recognise from baby groups have changed. I think I just need to find my new routine and put myself out there again but that takes effort too doesn't it.

Trin I'm really glad you are feeling better and had help from your mum. My mum was good on the phone today too. She told me dd has me on a string for feeding which she really does. She said let her show you she wants it and stop counting ounces. Mship big hugs to you to. That must be really stressful too xx

mship really quick post but didn't want to read and run -the only thing that worked for ds who was also one of the bottle refusers is a nuk bottle with the latex teat. Worth a try? If you can't pump and he hates formula try goats milk formula it can help with the whole bottle refusal and constipation thing and apparently breastfed babies are more accepting of the taste I know a few mums this has worked for x

Sorry to hear about the variously bunged up babies.

TheM, have you tried Breastflow bottles? Both DSs have only taken these in the beginning. DS2 will only have bottles when the milk and the teat are warmed to just above body temp.

Purple, you poor thing. Get to the GP, it could of course be PND.
(I've realised I've started with the health anxiety I'm not a bit constipated, I've definitely got bowel cancer so need to prioritise sleep and keep an eye on myself).

Sorry to hear about the variously bunged up babies.

TheM, have you tried Breastflow bottles? Both DSs have only taken these in the beginning. DS2 will only have bottles when the milk and the teat are warmed to just above body temp.

Purple, you poor thing. Get to the GP, it could of course be PND.
(I've realised I've started with the health anxiety I'm not a bit constipated, I've definitely got bowel cancer so need to prioritise sleep and keep an eye on myself).

Mship when DS was bottle refusing at the beginning we found munchkin latch bottles were the best have you tried those at all?

mship hope you've had an OK night, and that your half day runs smoothly
dom the sleep thing sounds interesting, I'm frazzled and know I get a lot more emotional on little sleep.
Ds has taken to waking for 30 mins at 5am, then going back off until 7?! I just don't understand why.
purple that hv sounds more than useless, glad you got somewhere later though. It's not on taht you should be left feeling even worse after speaking to those who deem themselves to be of assistance in this these situations

Glad the chat with your mum and nice HV helped purple. Still can't believe how awful the HV at the weigh in was .

Good luck with bottle refuser mship. Dd1 was the same, dh took 3 months leave to care for her when I went back to work at 6 months. eventually got her to drink from a doidy cup after a couple of weeks of refusing. First got her to take water then when she was used to it eventually she took milk. Had to be warmed though or she'd spit it out. I think she only really accepted milk not from boob once she was properly used to the idea of eating solids (we did blw).

Dom i agree six months of sleep deprivation has definitely started to break me! I cut down on my caffeine consumption this week (by cut down i mean only allowed two cups of tea a day) as I have found in the past that too much caffeine really affects my anxiety, sleep, general mood). I had gradually got into the habit of just caffinating myself up constantly. Was horrific for three days - headaches, irritability, feeling like I needed a break from child care, wanting to go back to work etc, but i came out the other side in a better mood, less anxious and oddly feeling more energised.

Dd2 went into dd1s room last night. Was nice to have our room back and (sorry if tmi) have sex with the light on! Dd2 had her usual wakes at 10, 1.30 and 4.30 and dd1 woke at 5.30 but neither seemed to wake the other up. Dd2 started complaining at 6 so maybe she was woken up but has just gone down for a nap so all ok. Wasn't the disaster i had feared but was only the first night!

Just caught up, hope the poorly babies start to feel better, the struggling mummies manage to get a boost from somewhere and the health visitors out there manage to help some people instead of creating anxiety/confusion/stress .

Has anyone tried the online boob or bust bra calculator? I am currently wearing a 40DD which I know is very ill fitting, put my measurements in the calculator and it suggests 32HH where on earth do I try on some HH bras??

mrse yes i tried it and it was spot on for me (32j). Bravissimo will have 32h bras as they go up to J cup. With dd1 i was wearing 36 back and went to buy a new bra at bravissimo and the lady took one look at me and said i was a 32 back. I didn't believe her but the fit was so much better! This time round i just used boob or bust straight away once my supply had settled down and all my nursing bras now actually fit me, I've even been able to move onto under wired nursing bras without any issues so my breasts arent looking like sag central!

Morning all, it's a new sunny day and things are better. T slept well, just two night feeds, and the prunes (thanks ftm for the Ella's suggestion - I bought 6 packs ) hit bottom first thing this morning. She is looking a lot cheerier, and I'm pretty sure a little of the water in her free flow cup went into her mouth today. My parents skyped with me and T last night while DH was putting DS to bed, cheered me up quite a bit. They are very supportive.

Thank you everyone for the cup and bottle recommendations! The NUK with latex bottle has been one of the least pushed away, sher, so we're persisting with that one at the moment. marmite, I actually ordered a doidy cup on someone else's suggestion yesterday, it should arrive today (thank god for amazon prime). I've also ordered the munchkin 360 cup, which I've heard good things about, that one gets here tomorrow. I haven't tried either the Breastflow (dom!) or the munchkin latch (ftm!) bottles. Am about to order those too.

Now back to my regularly scheduled work day ...

You're about the same size as me so MrsElls - Bravissimo and Rigby and Peller for specialist stores, John Lewis or Debenhams for department stores.

Sorry to hear about those struggling and feeling down. Bloody useless HV there too, be happy, yeah, and tell someone with a broken leg to just stick it back together yourself too why dontcha? Thank goodness for the helpful mums and friends, and of course come and vent on here whenever you need
I agree with dom that the sleeplessness takes its toll after a while. I feel myself going from adjusting and this being the norm to thinking WHEN CAN I PLEASE SLEEP FOR MORE THAN 2-3 HOURS?! On that topic dom please don't feel guilt if you are too unwell to work and have a day off. Your school are very lucky you took little mat leave and went back full time. They can cope for a day.

BoB calculator scared me too! I was wearing a 36C which I knew was wrong but the calculator put me at 30GG!!!!! I ordered some from bravissimo in that size but they didn't fit brilliantly and made my boobs all Madonna pointy and odd looking so I'm returning them and I'm going to wean myself on to correctly fitting bras starting with some primark 34DDs I got yesterday which are a good compromise and feel better than my old ones! don't tell the BoB admins though they might hunt me down and confiscate them

Bob put me at 30g or 32ff/g. I find the 32g the comfiest of the lot.
Ordered mine in a sale online 2 in each size and got free returns on the ones which didn't fit.
Just ordered this morning some more in an eBay shop at only £12.99 each for curvy Kate- apparently they're last seasons stock. I dont care for that price.

Think it might be a trip to Bluewater to try some on then some online ordering, I don't want to spend loads for them not to fit when I stop bf.

Evening all, glad to see things are looking up this afternoon!

Thanks mags, at the moment I don't feel unwell as such - I'm pretty pleased with myself that I'm still on top of things, logistically speaking - but I'm quite aware I'm close to the edge!

Ooh, I'll have to look at this BOB site. I did the bra intervention thing a few years ago and went from a baggy 34A to a wonderful (if difficult to find) 28D! Currently wearing a 30D, I think.

There are D&V bugs circling like vultures round here. I so, so don't want them anywhere near us! I'm going to bleach everything!

Evening all. A much better day here today, I've made the decision not to stress about her feeding and follow her lead. Had a lovely and supportive chat with dh last night too, he isn't great at emotional stuff but he really came through. I've also written down what's going on for me so when the HV comes next week I'm able to talk clearly hopefully about what's going on.

TheM glad to hear your parents made you feel better too and you had a better night sleep. Dom take a day when you need it. Especially if you can feel yourself being anxious about health things and know it's linked to be worn out. I think teachers are sometimes the worst at having sick days. I always just keep going unless it's d&v and it doesn't help really. Keep going with the bleach, those bugs are hideous.

Magpie your broken leg scenario made me chuckle!

Not done this boob calculator. Is it the Bravissimo one? I looked at it but I have no idea where a tape measure is. I did get measured about 8 weeks after E was born though at my local Marks and the lady there is very thorough.

Glad you're feeling more upbeat today Purple.

I am going to try this BOB site, I'd never heard of it before. Last time I was measured I was told I should be a 32E I think but I just cannot wear a bra with a 32 back. I know nearly everyone wears a back size which is too big and cup size which is too small but a 32 back leaves me with deep red welts in my sides from being so tight! I wear a 34DD and that seems to fit me well enough.

DS has just been a little delight the last few days, smiley and happy and giggly. (Still not great at night! He threw in one night of sleeping through, just to trick me, then back to lots of waking.) I hope it continues through the weekend as it's his christening on Sunday. We've got all the family coming so it should be a really nice day.