July 2016 #2

[Bluebell20]

A new thread as we (hopefully) move towards longer sleeps and lovely little smiles!

Hi all! I'm caught up from page 16. Julfin mentioned the thread on the Facebook group so I thought it was time to pop over again. Have we still got the Google docs with everyone's details and babies? I've been spending so much time on the Facebook group that I think of everyone as their real life names now!

Saw some chatter a few pages back about baby changing facilities and being in disabled loos/not being dad friendly. I did some research on this online and you can buy disabled RADAR keys online (Amazon has them) to access locked toilets with baby changing facilities. I've been on the fence about the morality of this but have purchased one as I have been caught out juggling the baby in a few places. Haven't used the key yet since I bought it but feel better having it in the changing bag.

Julfin / cookies - how are you getting on with expressing? Let me know if you need any advice but I can see that bluebell has given some great tips.

Julfin - didn't realise you had been struggling / moved out etc. Hope all is well now, sending you hugs. Your sling achievement post really made me smile, I love it when Luca dozes off in the sling and I can power around the house doing my little jobs.

Bluebell - glad I'm not the only one who has been using the cot as storage! All of Luca's cuddly toys (and random pillows from my room...) are piled up. Oops. Think I have a long while before he'll be in there anyway.

Becks - do you have the Milton travel steriliser? How much does it hold? I am a Milton pro but trying to get my head around how much solution/tablets I'd need for the travel one.

Luca is 16 weeks now, 7 weeks corrected and weighs 7lbs 6.5oz. He's just got out of his prem baby clothes and is starting to fit some of the smaller newborn sizes. Starting to get a slight routine with him but still waking 2/3 times in the night for feeds. I'm trying to wean him off the nipple shields for BF but not having much success so far. But I guess it's not a big problem in the grand scheme of things. I'm having lots of success with a cheapy sling from Amazon (Funki Flamingo, someone else on here mentioned it too). I did hire a more expensive version but they seemed exactly the same. I am also experimenting with a new sleep set-up from tonight - my Bednest arrived today which I'll be mixing with the Babymoov Cosydream. Luca slept for 5 hours when I accidentally coslept so I am hoping for similar results.

Would be fab to see people at our London meetup. Julfin's suggestion of Inn The Park sounds perfect. Does Fri 25 November work for those who are interested?

I've attached a pic of my new shiny Bednest and Luca's before and after pics.

F x

Hi all! Sorry been AWOL for a while. We've been having a nightmare with the reflux especially at night time so I've been surviving on a few hours broken sleep and mainlining coffee during the day! Got ranitadine prescribed now and it seems to have started to work finally so mummy and baby are both much happier! We are off to the in-laws this weekend tho so we'll see how he copes in the travel cot

Amazing long sleeps from your babes birchy and sock!

Am off to catch up on the thread, in the meantime here's some pics from 1 day and 7 weeks.

Hi Fifi glad you recommend the cheapy funky flamingo sling as I've been considering getting one myself. I just can't get on with the structured sling we've got currently and there isn't a sling library near us to test more expensive options. Luca is lovely!

Aw thanks Sunday! :) Yep it is exactly the same as the other stretchy sling that I hired (Kari Me or something). The only difference is that the front bit when the sling is tied is quite long on the flamingo but I just tie it up a bit more. There was a really good YouTube video that helped me get the hang of it (I never thought I'd be able to wrap a sling myself!)

Ladies I'm feeling so emotional - just having a browse around on the laptop and I searched for our old thread and the posts when Luca was born in May. I still can't believe it all happened. And all the lovely kind messages that I had from you all

Fifi he's gorgeous! So happy things are going so well! Is he totally discharged and all fine now? How are you doing?

I asked ages ago about facebook group but think I added the wrong person, would someone be kind enough to give me the name again so I can join?

I live in East mids but would like to travel down for the meet up if we can? Will probs get the train too

Hi noodle! FB group is MN 07/16.

Luca is doing great thanks, we are discharged from the neonatal team now but having weekly visits from our lovely HV to keep an eye on his weight. He needs an operation next month to repair a hernia but other than that he seems to have got off lightly from his prematurity. I'm not doing too bad thanks, good and bad days.

How are you getting on? You'll have to remind me of your little ones name

Hey ladies!

Firstly and most importantly, I've managed to get a few free tickets for Babyfest at Bishopsgate (London) on Saturday 24th September (next weekend). Face value is £27 so I'm quite pleased! Let me know if anyone would like to come along.

Fifi - that's great re the meet-up. 25th November works well for me. Shall we say midday at Inn the Park? For those who aren't familiar with it, it's a cafe/restaurant in the middle of St James' Park. The nearest tube stations are St James's Park (district and circle lines), Westminster (district, circle and jubilee lines), and Victoria (district, circle and Victoria lines). There are also plenty of buses nearby. Give me a shout if you want help with a route. On the whole, buses are easier with a pram than the tube, but (despite Londoners not being renowned for their friendliness!) if you ask people directly I find they're usually very happy to help you carry a pram up/down the steps.

Fifi - yes it's been a tough old time! Re expressing, I decided to take a break from it while it's so hot because J is really thirsty and has been feeding loads. I didn't think it was the best time to try to increase my supply&demand! I'm planning to give it another shot this week now that it's cooler.
It's nice to see you back on the thread.

Sunday - sorry to hear about the reflux. Hope the travel cot works out well.

Primary - fb group is "secret", so you can't search for it. You need to search for Becky Scase or Julia Finch and befriend, then you can be added.

Today I discovered the heaven that is John Lewis. It's a mummy and baby's dream! Amazing changing facilities, and a cafe with other ladies breastfeeding. I could have spent all day there

julf I bloody love John Lewis! If only there was one at Victoria! All that sounds great re meet. It's my MIL 60th around then but think all the plans are for weekend after :) x

I do need to join the fb group tbh.

Well, he had his 12 week jabs yesterday, he was a bit grumpy but nowhere near the 8 week ones and his screaming/constipation - he slept and has poo'd so all good. And he's all dapper in dungarees

I don't know who becky is, I hope I've added the right one on FB, I did send a message too

Julfin do you perchance work for a well known broadcasting company? Otherwise have added wrong one!

Here's my newborn to now at 10 weeks

I may have added you julfin. Then again I may have added a complete stranger with a very strange message...

Haha socky, that doesn't shock - I want to know what you wrote now.

HA HA HA I haven't had any fb requests! You have been requesting complete strangers 😂 Primary - I don't work in broadcasting, but there is someone else with the same name as me who used to work for the Guardian - perhaps that's who you've added My fb name says "(Jackson)" after it. Or if you want to tell me your names I'll add you instead.

Yeah Socky, what was your weirdo message?!

Julfin, I added a Jackson! Weird! Might my message be in your requests box in messenger?

Not hugely weirdo but would be for anyone out with this group. I declared myself as Socktastic!

Ooh Sock I found it! Have accepted

Btw Primary - those photos are absolutely brilliant!

Wahey found you eventually!

Swimming was fab, she even went underwater! Made me question the point of sterilising though... the water was clean enough - for a public swimming pool

That wonder weeks app is spot on. Thanks for recommending, think it was indians?

A question for you all, Annie seems to struggle feeding when my nips are cold and shrivelled what are we meant to do when breastfeeding outdoors in winter?!

It's times like this formula feeding isn't that bad, I don't have to worry about shrivelled nips lol. Errrm, could you get a thermal top or some fleecy stuff and make booby pads to keep them warm? Sorta stick them behind the breast pads so you don't leak onto them?

julfin John Lewis / Waitrose is my hang out and I literally go every day of the week for one reason or another! You sound like you're doing incredibly well (in the least patronising way possible!) I think most of my anxiety issues of the last 2-3 months are actually based around my husband and things do very much seem to be improving (less crazy) I think my Caboo is an older style one too, literally thermal layers round us both. I bought it for assisting at swimming lessons but where it's already 1000 degrees in there I'm literally never going to be able to use it !

Wow fifi look at Luca!! Even I feel emosh looking at him now and thinking back to your posts in May. What an incredible journey for you both. Great feeding efforts! I don't see the issue with the nip shields if you're happy with them.

Yes sock knob off indeed! I'm all in favour! They've saved my sanity! Don't listen to them!

beaut hope you are ok. I totally know what you mean about the mornings. My school/nursery run takes me just over an hour in the car for the round trip and stress levels are high most mornings. It's so overwhelming sometimes I find? And you have an extra one in the mix than me. How's hubby? Are you getting much support?

ruby yes totally wish I could weigh the breasticles! Debating the logistics as we speak.. I kinda exfoliated George's crusty head with a flannel and it's helped loads! I keep meaning to coconut oil him!
Oh and gorge pics!!

cheery yep to the sugar!! I'm a secret sugar and caffeine fiend myself. I've cut all refined sugar as much as it breaks my heart. And attempting gluten too.. How did Mo get on at the GP did his temp come down? (Sorry if I missed a post)

primary hope the boobs and lumpy bits have settled down?

As much as I would have loved to make the meet up I'm a little too far west I'm afraid. Costs me £40ish to get to London and we are being careful with money since the job-loss

I made some 'clean eating' lactation cookies the other day and those along with the odd fenugreek capsule have worked wonders for my milk supply - Yey! This has meant I also have enough milk to express again. They are sugar, flour and egg free so I haven't felt too guilty about having one (four). I took the DCs for probably the last beach trip of the year, there really is nothing like a nice walk/fresh air! Never underestimate it ladies!

Need a vent. Another useless husband post. Actually want to smack him round his head. "Oh, I'm so tired". You don't know the meaning of tired pal! "Oh I couldn't fall asleep last night" even though you fucked off to the spare room and left me with a baby with a cold all night?

So I discovered after he'd gone downstairs to get something to eat he had indeed once again just gone to bed in the spare room. "No use both of us being useless in the morning". Fair enough but why does it always have to be me that's the useless one? He's your son too!!

I'd expected by now he'd understand at least some aspect of routine. Even after 3 months I have to ask him to have a towel and a sleepsuit ready for after the bath. Why do I still have to ask him? We do it every night.

Straw that broke the camels back though - "is there a clean bin and muslin in his nursery for the night feed?" (Knowing so well it would be me doing the feed. Again.) "no, but I'll put them up for you".

Did he?

Did he fuck!

Sock - I feel for you. It's very frustrating. You're absolutely right that you shouldn't need to ask the same thing every night. But with some men people I think unfortunately it's better (for the sake of your own sanity) to change your tactics and just accept that you do need to. I'm sure your DH has lots of great qualities, but pro-activity in the baby department clearly ain't one of them.
I would try the approach of "it's bath-time, if you can sort the towel etc". And "if you do the feeding tonight, I'll sleep in the spare room to get some sleep". That way, you're telling him not asking him (because as you say, it's his baby too so you're not asking any favours), but equally it's direct enough that you can be fairly sure it'll happen.
Anyway, that's just what I'd do, because (in a massively sweeping statement) my experience of men is that directness works better than subtlety.
Good luck!

Cookies - thank you, yes I'm feeling much stronger. Not patronising at all! I'm glad your issues seem to be resolving. Yes I think often the mother gets caught in the middle, between two people who both want her undivided attention, and that can be totally stressful, at a time when the last thing you need is more stress. I can totally see why, in some societies / in the past, mothers turn to the female members of their community, rather than the father, for support/help looking after the baby.
Random fact: one of my Nct ladies is Italian and calls her baby Cookie. Apparently it means something a bit like Coochy Coochy Coo 😊

Primary - yes good point re swimming pools and sanitation. I think I mentioned before, that in the US they advise not to bother sterilising eg pumping equipment. (That nearly came out as "pimping equipment".)