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Post-natal clubs

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February 2016 - our babies are here!

994 replies

IslaMann · 04/02/2016 12:39

New group for those graduating the ante-natal thread

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
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7
Newmamatobe · 15/04/2016 00:06

Hugs Maisie xxx

Onwards and upwards for next week clumsy! Respect for even attempting!

Loved my free afternoon but hit a wall this evening after 3 straight hours of DD screaming :(

haquoi123 · 15/04/2016 08:28

clumsy I've definitely had that, I was terrified! It's worth it once you pluck up the courage though :)

maisie, really sorry to hear you're not feeling so good. We're here to help if you want Flowers Cake

Best of luck clara!

newmama oof! Did you get any sleep in the end?

The milk bank got in touch and they're going to send me things to get started. Exciting!

clumsypots · 15/04/2016 16:19

haq how does the milk bank work?

newmamma that sounds tough, hope you managed a rest today.

Yup I am going to get there early next week so I am not walking into a full room of people who are already chatting I think, might make it easier for me. I am so crap at talking to people I don't know, I always try and get out of networking events at work too.

clarabellski · 15/04/2016 22:01

Evening all! I don't envy all the breast woes, vagina woes are enough thanks!

The obgyn said I have some granulated tissue down there (probably a stitch burst open so the wound is not healing from above, but rather from below, which will take a much longer time). She applied some silver nitrate to it to cauterize the tissue and hopefully promote healing but she said it could take many more weeks (sad face). If I don't feel any improvement after 3 months I've to make another appointment. Keeping fingers (and legs!) crossed... I made the mistake of looking at it a wee while ago - I won't describe what it looks like after the application of teh silver nitrate but suffice to say - yeuch!!!!! It also stings like a bitch (more than before)!

No one tells you about this stuff and the books don't mention it, I wonder why!!!! Hmm

On a plus note, we went out for a lovely dinner with the parents in law this afternoon and the wee guy spent most of it awake but reasonably happy. Only a few grumpy squawks!

I feel your pain clumsy - I went to baby massage yesterday and the best chat I could come up with was 'we have the same pram'. Its so awkward!

Newmamatobe · 15/04/2016 22:23

Clara "we have the same pram" LOLS!!! I seriously get moments a bit like dejavu at how insanely different my life is now!!!

Also hugs RE your bits and fingers crossed it heals!

Better day today, DD was definitely affected by the jabs and still is more whinge than usual but I managed it, her sleep pattern seems to be landing at roughly:

19.30 upstairs, bottle and bath in nursery then into moses in my room by 8 ish
01.00 feed and nappy back to sleep quickly
04.30 feed and nappy bit more unsettled so co sleeps with me (which I love even if I'm making a rod for my own back!)
08.00 feed and nappy - back to sleep in my bed
10.00 up and downstairs, feed, playtime, wash and change
12.00 nap - much harder to settle, sometimes only sleeps 30 mins
Rest of day to 19.30 is all mixed up time wise of naps, play, feed etc

Any advice from anyone on what I'm doing/ maybe not doing etc? Am I silly to co sleep and setting myself up for a fall further on? OPs with other DC, how and when was the transition into their own room and cot?

Haq - milk bank - heard it all now he he (great idea though and kind) xx

Newmamatobe · 15/04/2016 22:25

Oops missed this bit

Haq - I did get some sleep as SOSd my mum! She whooshed in o the rescue and got in my bed with DD on her chest and ordered me to get in the spare room with my snoring dog! Heavenly 8hrs :)

clumsypots · 16/04/2016 20:46

Yay for newmamma's mom! I don't think you are making a rod for your own back with the co-sleeping they are still so tiny at this age and if it makes you happy and gives you more rest go with it. With DD we moved her to her own room at 2 months but sids guidelines were different 10years ago. DS is swiftly outgrowing the Moses basket so will have to put him in his cot in our room for the next 3 months.

Just at another gig, I'm so tired all I want to do is sleep not concentrate on playing! Neighbours were having a massive row until 2am last night! DH went outside at one point because he thought it was getting violent...not sure what he would have done if it was. Fortunately DS slept through it all and woke up at 6 as usual

haquoi123 · 16/04/2016 22:38

clumsy I don't know how you do it! Are you playing for fun or work? Shame about your neighbours, do you know them well?

clara Shock "sharp intake of breath"!! I can't remember, did you have an episiotomy or was it a tear? How's it feeling today?

I've found that,"so how old is your little one" gets the conversation started, followed by asking the name... And then an awkward silence. I've been to enough now though that people are becoming familiar and it's getting easier. I'm usually crap at socialising and networking, absolutely hate it, but it's getting easier.

newmama I get stressed any time I read something about parenting. I've realised that when I'm doing my own thing and what I feel is best for baby then I feel better. So I say just follow your gut and agree with clumsy.

I went to a pelvic floor workshop today, 4 hours of pelvic floor work (but using lots of different techniques so not as 1horrendous as you'd think, but pretty tiring. Hopefully it will have done some good! The instructor is going to send me some exercises so I'll post them here.

Milk bank (newmama I know!!) they'll send me some bottles, I'll express and freeze and then they'll collect when I've got a decent stash. I've still got to have blood screening but I know from pregnancy I'm fine, so that should be ok.

clumsypots · 16/04/2016 23:02

haq no proper work until next month, tonight was a favour for my mom. I only know them to say hi to as they are a couple of doors away but they are the ones who always have loud parties and leave the stairs and carpark in a state the next day. Does the milk bank give you special magazines to help you?

Sorry clara missed your post, that sounds awful! I hope it sorts itself sooner rather than later.

I'm glad I'm not the only one who struggles with small talk.

Newmamatobe · 16/04/2016 23:58

Evening ladies! Had a fun evening, my bestie came over and we "put on a film and talked over the film and missed the whole thing" PERFECT. Chinese was had and it wasn't all baby talk - needed that! My friend is DDs godmother so is in our lives lots and she gave DD her bath tonight they both LOVED it! I can already see the makings of some kind of relationship there where DD turns to my friend for her sympathy and to offload her woes! Haha when she was dressing her the sounds she was making sounded like DD was telling her off and being shouty - I find that incredible at 10 weeks - just didn't expect that really?? I think I imagined a docile baby, that crys and feeds but not really a character for months.. I definitely think I have a little madam on my hands - if looks could kill sometimes....!

Thanks for the reassurance Haq and clumsy, you are right I can see - I've used my instincts so far and she's thriving so I will just "go with the flow" on not try to control it by following a book etc... Simple! And isn't co-sleeping a real pleasure... Lovely...

Haq I don't know where you get the energy from for these social clubs, I'm just about managing to maintain essential things like Dr appointments, walking the dog, food shopping, life admin etc - the rest of the time I'm at home and there is always stuff to do grrrr! #gogirl

Clumsy - I work in music, am a promoter (festivals and raves) maybe we've crossed paths who knows haha! What do you play/are you in a band? ;-)

I'm craving a very quiet day tomorrow, with just me and DD, no TV just a book maybe and a nice walk... Been one of those weeks with constant visitors and busyness and noise!

Also I have set myself a task each day to enjoy one thing not related to babies, today it was just playing a game on an app for 20 mins - I realised I was drowning in baby talk, baby reading, looking after baby, thinking about baby - I need to be careful not to burn out mentally on that as I'm home alone quite a lot I think it can really affect my mood of I'm not balanced? Does anyone relate to that yet?

Right - essay post - sorry!

G, night xxx

haquoi123 · 17/04/2016 07:48

clumsy hahahahaha!! Yeah, summat to get the oxytocin flowing! Seriously, ds did a fart in bed this morning and I had a let down, it's ridiculous!

newmama, clumsy, so we're all musicians? Pretty cool :) Are you both also at the mercy of maternity allowance? (although I have to say I'm loving the regular income at the mo, blimey cash flow issues can mess you up).

newmama that's lovely that your friend is forming a nice relationship. Have you organised a christening/baptism/welcoming ceremony already? I can't imagine ds getting any bigger, he seems fully formed already!

maisie, mawsy, if you're still reading, how things are going ok, thinking of you both.

haquoi123 · 17/04/2016 07:52

Bubs just did a poo in his clean nappy as DH was changing him. I went up to ds and exclaimed 'did you just poo in your clean nappy?!' and got the biggest, cheekiest smile in return. He's also doing lots of "talking" and communicating. Ach, so in love!

clumsypots · 17/04/2016 14:22

newmamma I play trumpet but mainly classical & military wind band stuff with the odd bit of big band here and there so doubt we have crossed paths. Your job sounds cool though!

haq nah I have a boring 9-5 job as well so getting maternity pay from there.

We are getting lots of cheeky grins and 'chatting' as well it's so lovely, got a photo of dd reading to him earlier and for all the world it looks like he is reading the book too.

clarabellski · 17/04/2016 18:44

Haq it was both! It's the tear that isn't healing. The episiotomy healed up nicely (although yet to try The Sex so may retract that statement at a later date!)

I know what you mean about being in love though. It didn't happen straight away but rather has snuck up on me. I can't stop kissing his nose!!!

HandbagFan · 17/04/2016 18:45

DS is 8 weeks old today - frightening how quickly that's gone! He's finally starting to chunk up - 10lbs 8 now, up from birth weight of 6lbs 15.

Our baby loves it when you repeat the silly noises he makes - grunting and squeaking back at him results in the biggest grins. I've got some great photos of the various stages of him smiling. From catching your eye to crack his mouth to beaming away. Love him so much!

I ordered some prints from snapfish this week - 133! And those were just the best snaps from my phone, certainly not every one I've taken! So far not a day has gone past without photos being taken of him. And now I feel really sad at the thought one day will be the first day without a photo! Ah, hormones!

Speaking of hormones, I think my first period has just started. I knew that breastfeeding didn't guarantee no periods, and that everyone's different but I'd really hoped for longer. I only stopped my lochia two weeks ago. And it feels a little sad - I'm pumping still seven times a day because we've never cracked breastfeeding, and I'm not keeping up with what he needs every day so he's getting 3, sometimes 4 bottles of formula a day as well as my milk. I feel a bit like I'm not hitting the right balance of hormones - I'm not keeping up with him so he's having formula top ups and I've got my periods back.

Ho hum, never mind.

Appointment at the hospital this week to discuss the birth with the consultant. We're going through the events of his birth, what that means for any future pregnancies and an overall check up for me after the op. Feeling a bit anxious as the whole birth saga (3 days of failed inductions followed by an EMCS including 30 mins of them trying to get a cannula in me, an hour of them trying to get a spinal in me, three hours of watching telly while they argued if I was enough of an emergency to bring an anesthetist over from ITU then getting the spinal in and an uneventful surgery from there) was really distressing at the time. 8wks later it feels a bit more distant and I've healed really well, but I'm sure there will be some tears. I'm even worried about actually being in the hospital itself. Still, one more step in the process and I liked the consultant himself, he was really good.

Then later this week he's got his vaccinations! Preparing for a grumpy baby so not planning anything for that day or the day after. Will plan to be at home with lots of opportunities for naps and lots of cuddles.

Finally, DS is officially now in his 0-3 wardrobe. I've packed away everything in newborn and up to one month. All going in a vacuum pack up in the loft. I've started buying in 3-6 as we got given so much in 0-3 there's too much really. E noting buying romper suits and shorts in the hope it's a warm summer and he can have his (hopefully-by-then) chubby legs out!

Newmamatobe · 17/04/2016 21:58

Haq, clumsy I'm actually a promoter who books the talent rather than musician but obv exist in the "music bizz" :)

Have either of you taken a look at the money/creditcrunch/aprilausterity posts? Some amazing tips on being frugal and getting cash back on shopping, better deals for existing outgoing a etc ;-) (I'm trying to work out if asdas 12.5% cash back deal today applies to formula I'll stock up!!)

Handbag - an uncomplicated birth is a trauma in itself without all of that stuff that should NOT have happened to you!! Good luck and go easy on yourself - if it doesn't feel right take a time out. Biggest huggles xxx

Haq - have a vague plan of a christening this year but I'll get round to that... At some point!

Clara - hearing you mention the "love snuck up on you" has really given me peace of mind as that's exactly how I've felt... Scrumptious now!!

Night all! X

cudbywestrangers · 17/04/2016 22:52

Evening all, hope the weekend has been fun!

We had ds1 back to his normal happy self yesterday. I had almost forgotten that i actually enjoy spending time with him and he is generally good fun. Unfortunately the grumps descended again this afternoon though.

Babycud has messed with my boobs. He was clearly feeding a lot to increase supply last week and had a mega sleep yesterday afternoon and a couple of good nights on friday and saturday which is causing some serious discomfort. Today he has been fussy, windy and feeding every 2 hours. And vwry few smiles. Can't work it out.

V jealous of all you guys working on the music scene. I did a lot of piano at school but didn't quite make it to music college so did a 'sensible' degree instead. I do love my chosen field, but will always wonder what it would be like to do a hobby full time and get paid for it!

Rant alert! Dh has pissed me off big time today. He's been pretty grumpy all weekend but not really saying why or if pushed says he's still getting used to having a new baby. He has also said some pretty stupid stuff to ds1 like "stop crying, you're not a girl"!!!! He is in spare room so not sleep deprived, works all week (long hours and high stress), has been cycling yesterday and today and spent most of yesterday afternoon fixing his bike. He has hardly seen the new baby who has been here for 10 weeks!!!!! I can only think that it got worse this afternoon because he suddenly decided an hour before ds1 swimming lesson that he wanted a haircut but i said not enough time. When it was just ds1 i could just take him but not really feasible to take both on my own. I'm sure my frame of mind is worse because i am tired, mostly from staying up too late and sore boobs. And a massive parenting fail this morning: i heard ds1 while i was feeding babycud then it went quiet so i assumed dh had got up with him. Some time later i found ds1 downstairs and dh still in bed Shock fortunately we're fairly childproof but i'm not happy that he was wandering around on his own for so long. Grrrrrrrr. Rant over!

Sorry not managed to read back, that will have to wait as i should get some sleep. Have booked into a buggyfit class in the morning. Need to do something about the fact i still look v pregnant...

clumsypots · 18/04/2016 14:51

handbag that sounds rough, I hope talking it through with the consultant helps even if it's rough at the time.

cud I wish u could do music full time too but I have to pay the bills Sad my dh is very much the same, he just doesn't think akthough comes across as being very selfish. I'm sure ds1 felt very grown up being downstairs on his own.

I'm using my new phone to type this, very happy! Contract was up on my old phone but was just going to leave it but dd smashed the screen completely yesterday so new phone for me Grin

NorthernChinchilla · 18/04/2016 17:47

Phew, what a day!
Had taken DD to a conference in London on Thurs, but today...

  • Took DD to a meeting at a main Govt Dept in London, which went really well. My lovely colleague helped with the travel and note taking.
  • DD had her first jabs. NOT. HAPPY. But got over it quickly.
  • Got the Primary School place allocation and we got the school we wanted for DS.
  • DFiL had surgery
  • Another lovely colleague/friend gone into labour and we're waiting to hear.

I'm having a gin....!

clara, that sounds tough and you're handling it so well...hope the silver nitrate treatment helps. You're so right that these things don't tend to get mentioned.... The risks you get bandied about for c-sections are lengthy, but there is a silence about what can happen with a vaginal birth.

Newmama your day sounds pretty similar to ours. Definitely go with the flow and take your cues from the baby Smile

LibertyBelles · 18/04/2016 18:59

Had a great day with dd today - she did 40 rather than 30 min naps which was great! Went to a baby sensory class with friends which was odd but good and now chillaxing in bed with the iPad and boobing to sleep! Bliss. Hope my good positive mood lasts!

LibertyBelles · 18/04/2016 18:59

Also meant to say clara hugs

clarabellski · 18/04/2016 19:11

Thanks ladies! I try not to whinge too much at home so it's nice to vent on here! Flowers

Mama your job sounds cool! Although I bet pretty stressful at times! I can picture you back at work with your babe on your back wearing those giant headphones!

I'm enjoying a red wine chinchilla! Dh has taken ds to b and q! As you do...

We have jabs as well on Wednesday handbag! Luckily Dh is on holidays so we both get to take ds to docs and deal with any grumpy side effects!

What was baby sensory class like liberty? Ive heard of it but wondering whether worth finding one (and paying for it!)

clumsypots · 18/04/2016 19:14

Wednesday is jab day here too, we are all going to have grumpy babies!

clumsypots · 18/04/2016 19:15

northern I hope your fil is ok and your friends labour goes well.

liberty glad you have had a good day

LibertyBelles · 18/04/2016 19:17

clara thus was a taster class at Gymboree - don't know if they have one local to you. It was nice although at £70 a month I think I'm just going to go to the free council run one! Basically a lot of stuff you could do at home - waving a bell over their heads to get them to track with their eyes/heads; tummy time over a mirror; lights (lava etc) under a parachute that sort of thing