November 2014 - The one where they outrun us!

[MrsAukerman]

New thread ladies.

posmork I don't think there's a right or wrong here. You're quieter, he's quieter. It's probably natural. DD is noisy, chatter nonstop, which is what her Dad and I are like. I then worry she never has any peace and doesn't know how to relax so try and encourage some quiet time. sigh the guilt comes in so easily doesn't it? It's a parenting thing right?
I do a lot of pointing things out and showing her things, explaining things (this is how you stir a cake mix, let's put your shoes away together, this is how to climb down the stairs safely)and a bit of chasing and throwing around but I don't do much 'playing' to be honest. There is A LOT of playing at the childminders I'm sure!

Does anyone else do much sign language? I really enjoy it and DP likes being able to communicate with dd (since a lot of her words are still only understood by me :))

I am so quiet at home that I also worry sometimes I'm hindering talk!

It's my way of "powering down" like a computer.

I imagine when DS gets to be constantly chattering that I'll end up constantly chattering too, but not yet. Right now I'm often virtually silent unless I'm praising him, cuddling him, or reassuring him. I don't describe my actions or anything.

Whereas DH is a "describer" with DS and yes, DS babbles a lot more with him.

But then I tell myself to give myself a break as I doubt I'm totally hindering his speech development here!

On another note, he's started to feed himself with his spoon! Before this week with porridge etc he would reluctantly allow himself to be spoonfed but now he's suddenly gotten all independent and insists on doing it himself. We have to load each spoon and give it to him!

Oh and re: playing. DS plays on his own whilst I supervise. I'll show him how to do something and then sit back.

I really think they need to know they can play alone. A friend of mine has a child who never learnt this skill and her life is hell as she has to spend all day every day playing with her toddler.

porsmork I am a quiet person as well, DD says few words and "words" but not awful lot really. When she was about 1 month old, I was on mat leave and full of good resolutions about bringing up a superchild, I read that parents should always talk to their baby, even if its describing all the mundane things they do. So on day 1 I set out talking to her whenever she didn't sleep, by 5pm I realised that all I had been saying was "let's go and change you nappy" for about 5th time that day. There are so many times I can talk about changing the blooming nappy. I would probably have ended up with pnd if I would have carried on with the thing... I have started to talk to DD much more when she became more interactive herself, it's been more natural than forcing myself talk to 5 weeks old about nappy change. But to be honest she doesn't seem too interested in my talking, she prefers me singing or making silly noises, the top one being be repeating all the animal sounds she plays on her musical toys or youtube videos. In fact this morning she ended up herself trying to make a cow's mew. Don't beat yourself up with guilt, from what you have told you sound amazing mum! Could it be that staying at home adds to the pressure of feeling that you should be doing more with DS because you are not going to work? I sometimes got doubts that I might be doing something wrong and it could be affecting DD while on mat leave, probably because she was with me most of the time. Since she is in the nursery I find it easier to accept that if she does or does not certain things it's because this is how she is and not because of me, because there are other people involved with her now.

Since going back to work I love the time I'm on train to/from London. It's the downtime for me, when I can read, listen to music, buy nice things online etc. uninterrupted. I do always get a seat without too much stress though. Maybe it's worth to give it a try on a temp job to see if things have changed?

I'm really quiet too but ended up with super chatty dd1. Dh did tend to come home and gab at her like a puppy but she was with me so much I would have had the greater effect I think. Dd2 is slower to talk - probably more average language development - and there is loads of noise and talk all the time between nursery and me and dd1 going on at each other the whole time... I think they just are what they are.

posmarck give temping or freelance work a whirl if you can at all. You won't know yourself.

I think dd2 is going to be one of those sneaky quiet types though. She really understands everything and is very attached to her books. Sitting on knees and reading is a comfort thing for her and there's major rage if you attempt to fob her off for even one second. The other evening she was having her bottle on dh's lap while I read to dd1. After a while we realised that she was doing actions to support the words, eg there was a line about 'with a smile and a wave' and dd2 was waving and then broke off to say 'hiya'!' Cutester.

Had about 3/4 shit nights in a row there but she slept through last night. Fingers crossed for tonight for us all!

halfstar talking about signs, DD has started to sign at her head and shoulders when somebody sings "head, shoulders, knees and toes".

Thanks guys. Strawberry, you nailed it. I do feel a huge responsibility to be supermum because I've decided to stay at home, and that I'm at fault if he doesn't reach a milestone as quickly as I imagine he should. I need to nip that feeling in the bud! I'm very lucky that while he's quiet, he's also very calm. Never had a tantrum (yet!) and is happy and content almost always. He does a few signs for hungry, toilet, etc. Maybe we should start learning some more!

His obsession with trains is growing! I put old episodes of Thomas the Tank Engine on and he literally screams with joy when Thomas appears. Luckily we live about 5 minutes from a narrow gauge railway museum!

We just had our first night away from DD :-) well she went to my parents and we went for a meal and a drink out before going home. She had a whale of a time with Nana and "Bampa". Mum discovered that she can make a pig noise and a donkey noise too.
Obviously we still woke up quite early (sigh) and I'm feeling a little thick headed and sleepy today after the little bit of booze
I had, but it was nice not to have to have responsibility for DD for a little while!

This is my first whole weekend off work in 4 months! Yesterday I had a lie-in, possibly partly because DH turned the monitor off when I was in DD2's room at 5am and I didn't realise when I got back into bed, but, when we did hear her later, he took both DDs down (our monitor does beep when the baby makes a noise even if it has been put on mute so she wasn't crying for ages without us noticing). Also, for the first time ever, he put DD2 to bed for me. Obviously he has to put her to bed quite often because I am at work at bedtime, but he had never done it when I was in so I could have a break from spending ages trying to get her in the cot.

porsmork those cottages look really nice. I might point them out to DH, but they are probably a bit near to us for a holiday and not by the seaside and we probably can't afford to go anywhere except for our main holiday, especially as it has to be during the school holidays when everything is much more expensive.

moggle I am jealous of your night out. My in-laws are not really well enough for looking after DDs all night and being woken up repeatedly. My mum offers to have them to stay as she is too far away to just babysit, but we know she will just leave DD2 to cry for ages repeatedly which isn't what we want.

I discovered that my mum has been teaching DD2 makaton signs (the sign language Mr Tumble uses) and she can sign please and thank-you! I didn't take her to baby signing classes but she seems to be picking up these signs.

Happy I hate being tied to school hols we used to always go beg season in may got such great deals last yr we stayed in UK this yr we are waiting til Oct as our half term falls different to most UK so have got good deal to Crete and its our 10th wedding anniversary.

Have sorted our annual leave so ds1 only has to do 10days in holiday club over summer hols which is good. Easter only 2days and may half term 2days does mean we have less time all of together but think we do better than most

Have spent couple hrs in sun in garden cleaning the playhouse put and washing all garden toys almost shat myself with the huggggeee spider we found dh power hosed it off the toy lawn mower!! Ds2 has been in puddle suit splashing in water andf chewing pon stuff he prob shouldn't

I'm so jealous of your bookworm babies. I love reading but dd is just not into it at all. I think it's the sitting still, she just can't do it.

We've not done an overnight yet, only because she doesn't sleep through and if she had a bad night it's exhausting and I don't know that the grandmas are up for it. She went through on Friday night (though up at 5.30am) but last night was hellish, she spent about 3 hours from midnight falling asleep then waking with a start 10 minutes later and sounding really upset, didn't have temp or wind. I do wonder if she had a nightmare, she woke up screaming earlier in the evening and sounded like she does when she's hurt.
A friends twins arrived on Thursday, just 29 weeks, once very, very weeny. She already has a 2 year old, I can't imagine how hard it must be.

We also went to the 1st birthday party of one of the boys from dd's childminder. Nice to meet all the other parents and the party, wow, magician, photographer, fully catered and a copy of Othello in the party bags!

Meant to congratulate MrsA with the promotion, but got distracted earlier on, so now it goes - very well done! Studies say that it takes 6 months for anyone to be 100% cool in a new job, but you clearly are not "anyone" or otherwise they wouldn't risk giving a new mum double promotion, so much less time for you left to struggle!

Wow ladydolly that's one hell of a party! What are they going to do following years if the first birthday is so full on?! Some time ago I saw on internet that Hamley's do sleepover parties for kids. That must be really cool, only cost 4 grand for ten kids... .

I know!! The birthday boy was wearing a suit, as were his parents. I felt seriously under dressed for both me and dd (who was in a leopard print jumpsuit rather than the twirly dresses all the other girls were wearing).

ladydolly we've been to a 1st birthday party and also felt very underdressed. ...dd in a hand-me-down denim pinafore dress and tights; every other girl in a full-on twirly dress - that's so NOT my dd

No chance of overnights here as DS only has one grandparent who is not only 100 km away but also not remotely volunteering. When we went to stay with her a couple of months ago we were quite taken aback at how useless she was when he's about her 10th grandchild. She'd last 10 mins and hand him back and he's the easiest of all of the grandkids! But he's also the only baby which may be the.problem. We now suspect all her endlessrather smug talk of "helping out" the other school age gkids probably comprises watching Doctors on the telly whilst the kids do what they want, lol.

It has to be said when there's no chance of overnights I think it's easier. It's just not thought about.

Since we've put the duvet on DS he's slept through every night. Must be 8/9 nights now. Longest ever. Our nerves are so shot waiting for the next bad night that we're sleeping worse than him! It's like mental torture!

In other news I'm typing this from the sofa in my pyjamas whilst DS watches twirlywoos. I worked last 2 days in A&E and last night came down with a violent diarrhoea/vomiting bug. My fingers are the only part of me that can move! The diarrhoea is still ongoing (though only water coming out now) but the vomiting has stopped a couple of hours so I am tentatively trialling Dioralyte. If that comes back up I have to go over to the Early Pregnancy Unit for a drip! So please say a prayer the Dioralyte stays down!

Oh poor you Anna it's bad enough being ill and pregnant but looking after another little person at the same time - yuk!

Oh yuck Anna hope you feel better soon

No family nearby us and even if they were I wouldn't leave mine overnight anyway.

Been debating getting a duvet for ds2 with ds1 we never did he went from cot to full sz single at 2.5yrs so got a duvet then but ds2 has a cot bed so a toddler duvet would get some use, he had a sleeping bag n blankets at no.

Hugs, Anna, what a nasty bug, hope you're on the mend soon. Glad to hear your ds has slept through though, long may it continue. My little one does sometimes, but we had a bad night last night, awake at 8,9,1 and 4.30. It's pretty rare for that to happen, so it must be teeth, he's just about to cut his lower molar.
Taken an impromptu visit to my mum & dads for the next couple of days, so nice to have company and new playmates for ds!

Dioralyte stayed down so am still at home, still in bits as the vomiting may have stopped but the rest of it hasn't. It's very hard to amuse a toddler when you're running for the loo unexpectedly! Thank God for the garden. I'm letting him basically run riot through it, so thank goodness we've been neglecting it all year. just wish I could drag a bed out here instead of a kitchen chair!

Another sleep through! Was so grateful!

Great news Anna! I know it isnt that great, but still, relatively. And well done for sleeping through!

We are grounded here, DD down with another fever and snot to the floor. Those sky high temperatures make me really nervous. Can anybody remind me when this is going to finish or I start to feel it will never stop!

Hoped you are feeling better now Anna

I had lovely surprise won a comp with frugi on Facebook never won on a comp before I won a groclock and a set PJs so ordered for ds1 as will eventually get passed down to ds2.

Congrats on the prize east! And glad ds slept through for you again Anna.

Ds decided he was up and ready for the day at 3am this morning. I probably could have let him cry it out back to sleep but was so aware of not waking M&D especially df who really needs his sleep. Watched a programme about Crossrail, which ds enjoyed due to massive diggers and drills.

Sorry to hear about another bug strawberry. I guess each one helps build the immune system?...

oh anna you poor thing! Make sure you eat plenty once you're feeling better. Replenish your energy stores.

Any progress for you strawberry? Temps down yet? DD took quite a while to get better, at least a week I'm afraid.

Sleep here is mixed. One night she'll go 7-5 then down for another hour or 2 (so close to through the night!!) then the next she'll be up for an hour at 2am, just going off to sleep only to wake up again 10 minutes later and then that on repeat for an hour or so. Exhausting.

We have my mil stay this weekend, there may be the opportunity for a date night and we can't decide what to do. Will be nice to have some family time but mil makes me nervous, she's very manipulative and narcissistic, on the face of it lovely and dd does love her so it's just about keeping my wits about me...