June 2013 - the terrible twos aren't so terrible

[Biscuitswithtea]

Here goes with a new thread!

It gets better, I promise! My 8 year old hardly ever runs into the road these days...

M gets one chance, if he runs off or anything, he gets a hand clamped round his wrist and he's dragged along regardless - or put in reins if I've remembered them (rare). Somewhere I have a photo of him sat having a tantrum in the middle of my local high street, because I wouldn't let him play in the road.

I reckon if you've got them to bed with food (of some sort) inside them and without maiming or killing them, it's a good day at this age :o

It better get better! Although in fairness dd has improved in the last few weeks. This time 2 weeks ago I was on my knees and actually voiced to mum that I was struggling and not enjoying it I felt horrible for saying it out loud rather than just thinking it.

I do still find bribes have to be made - and the if you do x then y will happen. But rather than it being responded to with a massive tantrum I do now get 'OK mummy' and Mum did say to me on Tuesday that I seemed to be more relaxed and enjoying being with dd again. Was nice to hear by also made me feel awful that it has obviously been showing more than I realised.

And I only have the one child to deal with! Haven't got another on the way nor do I work full time - so I sincerely take my hat off to all of you that do.

This too shall pass....

Oh god. DD's insistence at doing everything herself even though she's not really proficient yet is a nightmare. We had a full on my form the other night as she wouldn't have a bath unless she could undress herself first but she was struggling to do it. But would she accept help? No. Just stood up a corner crying that she wanted to do it herself. Nightmare!

Oh. We have the no hand holding thing too. Thankfully she doesn't run into the road.

Also fiercely independent, but she is actually very good at dressing herself, as she is pretty skilled physically, but if she doesn't want to do something, then you can't make her. Had a better day yesterday. Thanks for the support ladies.

Lil seems to thrive on rules. So "hold hands in a carpark" always works when you remind her of the rule.

Pay first at the supermarket is also a winner.

The challenge is we have to be 100% consistent because otherwise she'll question the rule forever.

To be fair DH and I quite like rules and structure. Tis a good thing really since he's a policeman

DD likes rules too (so do I). She'll often say them out loud when they're applicable.

DS IS like that but E is completely the opposite. Rules are made to be tested. The rule is we sit on our chairs at the dinner table. E will try all sorts of 'sitting' options, like crouching on her chair, sitting sideways etc etc asking "like this mummy?" as she does it to see what she can get away with. Similarly the rule is we don't stand in the baby's moses basket, so she makes a big snow of stepping right over the top of it, saying "look mummy I'm not stepping in the basket ". What do you do with a child like that?!

Aloha DS1 is like that - consistency is about the only answer, and it's a PITA to be honest. Make sure that it's the same message from every single parent/keyworker too else it gets too complicated! M is going the same way - he smiles at me and says "Me take drink in front room?" while sidling out of the kitchen. He knows the answer is no, but it doesn't stop him trying.

Mind you, I hope it's something that will be helpful when they're bigger - questioning rules isn't necessarily a bad thing, I'd just like them to give me an easy life once in a while :o

We had our 2nd ever Edinburgh Mumsnet meet up today.

There were pom bears, pancakes, bananas, chocolate and trucks.

Us ladies had a nice time too

It was ace! The Edinburgh faction rock (we were at a venue called Rock Tots).

It was lovely. DS did his typical and spent the first hr and 20mins attached to my side before being persuaded that playing might be a good wheeze, so instead batted his enormous eyelashes at Sunny & Sunbeam for most of the playdate ;)

That sounds nice. Did we have a group in Edinburgh and a group in London and everyone else was more spread out?

Only me and Rae here in London Town as far as I know. Polly had a meltdown today because she wasn't in our wedding video. Seriously what am I meant to do about that?!?

Sean's on paternity leave at moment. I feel so sorry as I leave him in the morning on the days he has two and they are both kicking off. Shout 'bye then' as I slam the door on chaos heading to watch something good on the iPad during the commute. Then enjoy warm food and cups of tea frequently throughout the day. Oh and work, which I actually enjoy!

I'm in London, all the way out in zone 5 though!

I'm zone five:) Barnet.

There is another Londoner, but I've not seen her in here in a long time and can't remember her MN name! She's in Zone 1 I think. Z is her June baby.

I think we are quite widely-spread out. I don't recall having anybody else up near me in the NW.

Not quite sure how to deal with that meltdown, Bean. Does sound like something DD would get upset about though!

Yeah iris. She's on Facebook but haven't seen her on here in forever. Quite different to our May 2015 group who know every detail of each other's daily lives. Have met up loads of times as well.

My August group is like that! Though I don't have time for it all now really. Just keeping up with my normal life is bad enough!

I couldn't cope with my march group. They were on the verge of hysteria about everything which made me back away swiftly. No idea if we sounded that crazy to someone on their 2nd - sincerely hope not.

I've also got a better network of real life friends this time. Last time I'd moved to a new area literally the day before I got pregnant and didn't know anyone with kids so this group was really helpful to me.

I'm on the May and June 15 groups because DS was originally due in June and I liked the group so stuck around. I've met someone from my June 15 group and I'd like to meet more in the future (there are regular meets and people travel a fair way!). It's really busy though, and hard to keep up! But they've been an amazing support over the past year (and know far more about me than my real life friends!).

I think there is a world of difference between first and second pregnancies and kids. This morning I forgot to feed the baby breakfast as I was too busy making a lasagne for lunch. I'm pretty sure you don't forget to feed your first baby. I also have little patience for the questions about purée etc as the baby sits and shoves an adult portion of lasagne in her mouth with no problem. When I remember to feed her that is. I think first time everything is a drama whereas second time it's mainly about survival :)

I'm all the way down in Devon - think I'm the only one this way too.
Nice you all get to meet up tho, from here and other groups.

I think I can be quite antisocial in new groups. Don't mean to be, just wary of people sometimes.

I'm still wondering what to do for Dds birthday, tempted by a travelling 'zoo' she does love animals. And it saves having to do games etc....

I suspect most first time parents look for a different sort of support to those who have already got 1+ children. I remember feeling anxious about a lot of stuff last time. There is still a bit of that this time, though it's different - less specific I suppose - and simultaneously I need to just get on with it because I have a toddler and a moderately stressful job to juggle. Also, like Sunny, I now know a lot of people with young children - and crucially know them well. It feels different. I realised yesterday that I couldn't remember exactly how many wks pregnant I am. Nor could DH! It's reflective of the general difference I suppose!

DH and I have just been away on a lovely baby moon to a nice hotel with a spa.

Turns out we also sparked a bit of panic in the ILs though. MIL texted me on Thursday but I had little phone signal and didn't reply . So she then called me on Friday but I was in the spa. So she called the house phone but of course we weren't at home.

She's then phoned my mum in a flap thinking we must be at the hospital having baby.

Still not clear why she didn't call DH given if I am in labour surely he's more likely to be capable that I am