September 2014 - Babies turn 1!

[lilone1234]

First birthdays are starting to arrive and our babies are becoming toddlers! What will the next year have in store?

Just caught up with posts. Being very busy with house hunting and am a bit bitter really. Till now we have twice liked a house and offered full asking price and were outbid by others bidding more than asking price, and in one occasion we were not even infomed. Then other things happens, like a house is on market on Saturday afternoon and when I call them on Monday 8:30 morning they say sorry, sold....
Such is the market around London when you are after houses near stations and good schools. I am giving up on searching near good schools . Some of these schools had catchment area less than 0.2 miles in 2015 !

The snow was beautiful over the weekend, we really enjoyed.

I had to repeat a hearing test for ds again and we are now referred to ent because his hearing is now worse-

I am so constantly tired ladies, the combination of work with day to day house work with a toddler in addition to looking for a house is getting too much really ...

Oh and I feel precisely, very precisely like Acorn, how on earth can anybody manage two little ones? In aw of everybody who is back to ttc - if I have a second i would probably never manage to get out of the house as by the time we were all ready to go out it would be time for bed!!

Just wanted to say a very belated happy new year to you all! I've not been on here for ages ( again!) :(
I hand my notice in next week to finish work at end of March, with no job to go to, so now I'm getting stressed about that. I just am really struggling with full time work ( how do you do it???)
Z has had a cold or several colds back to back since she started nursery and the end of September. The cough she gets with this had gotten so bad over the last week she wakes in the night and get upset.
Hope you and the LOs are all well. Will have a proper catch up of what I've missed soon
x

Hello.

Just wanted to catch up with all of your posts.

Fate I took DD to a swimming session for the first time in ages today. She enjoyed the swimming but got very tearful and whingey as I was getting her dressed. It's a slightly awkwardly timed session that clashes with when she normally would have her nap so I think she was tired. Will see how it goes but may have to reconsider going if we are going to have over-tired hysterics after each session.

We are down (generally) to one nap a day here. Usually she goes down about 11am and sleeps until 12.30ish.

My period arrived this afternoon so no success with TTC yet!

LillyBugg please don't worry about the groups. I always think they are a good place for babies to learn social skills, and all toddlers have irrational tantrums sometimes!

Nazly I'm sorry you are struggling so much with house hunting. Do you have your names down with any estate agents? If you sweet talk some you may be able to persuade some of them to give you a heads up if anything suitable comes up before it officially goes on the market?

I sympathise with those with work exhaustion. I also work full time and just feel permanently knackered. I work as a mental health nurse in an acute ward but do condensed hours (so 3 days of double shifts [14 hours] a week). So on work days am up 5.30am and not home until nearly 10pm. Where I end up feeling guilty is the next day where I just struggle to find the energy to clean etc and let DD watch too much CBeebies!

My period arrived this afternoon so no success with TTC yet!

Ah man, I remember that feeling

Interesting and aside note with regard to periods - I have only brothers so have never lived with another menstruating woman. You might remember me mentioning DD11 started her periods a year ago - well it seems our menstrual cycles have synced. I find it quite weird. Having to pander to her moods when I am moody myself.

I had heard about this happening but wasn't sure it was a real thing. Evidentially it is in our house. DH isn't so impressed

I hand my notice in next week to finish work at end of March

What's prompted that? Are you planning on being a SAHM Zanashar? You know I never planned to be a SAHM but it just sort of happened and then all worked out to be OK. I hope everything works out for you.

It is funny isn't it Fate?! I worked with a lady full time and we were both ttc and our cycles were practically identical. It was a bit stressful lol!

Well I'm due on on Saturday so we shall see. I don't think I am pregnant but DH is convinced I am. He's all for the positive thinking but tbh he's doing my head in a bit about it.

We were supposed to go to our group this morning but on the way DS fell asleep so I just turned around and came home again. I think he's poorly so it's looking like a sofa day for us.

Full time work must be really exhausting. I only do three days and by Wednesday night im so done with work!

Hope you're not getting too stressed out with house hunting nazly?

Why did you resign zan? If you don't mind me asking

We had fun in the snow!

I keep meaning to go swimming, I think I need I need to start him in lessons as I just can't find the motivation to just take him for a play.

We've been down to 1 nap for a few months now, he'll do 2-3 hours after lunch.

That's a fab photo Acorn. He looks like he's having a great time. Our snow was more like someone had got the icing sugar out & sprinkled it everywhere.

Fate at uni I lived with 5 girls & within 3 months we were all in sync, even those that were on the pill. It's very strange and made for a stressful few days each month!

We've been down to one nap a day for a few months now, normally 11-1 which isn't great if you want to get on and do stuff at the weekend. He doesn't really sleep in his pushchair when we're out now unless he's exhausted. He'll occasionally do two naps if he only had a short one in the morning.

I've been thinking about swimming lessons too. We took DS swimming last week. He's only been twice before & that was back in March. We're trying to take him a couple of times a month to build up confidence etc & then we'll look at lessons. We're going on holiday in 6 weeks & will be in the pool a lot so I think that will help.

I hope you have some good luck with a house soon Nazly. The London property market seems crazy, watching location is always an eye opener. Have you thought about moving further out? Where we live it's 45 minutes to central London on the train but house prices are nowhere near London prices.

We're having a toddler free day on Saturday. DS is going for a sleepover with Granny, not sure who is more excited, and we're off to see Strictly & then out for dinner in the evening. Really looking forward to it but I'm most looking forward to a lie in on Sunday morning!

Is it the Strictly tour Topsy? Sounds like fun!

Acorn - Great picture, he does look like he's having a great time, and I love his hat! Our snow was just rubbish icing sugar type snow too.

Nazly - I totally get the house hunting thing, when we were looking all the houses only had viewings on one open day and there were so many viewers and offers went way over the asking price. In the end the house we got is quite unique, so we didn't really have any competition! That was just luck though, and may backfire on us when we come to sell it!

Gosh I wish we could have a 2-3 hour nap! DD barely has an hour most days and wakes up clearly still tired and I can't get anything done with her around anymore as she just leaves a trail of destruction! Teeth clearly bothering her at the mo though, bloody molars. Does anyone feel in hindsight (in the morning after night waking) that they've been too quick to give calpol and a bit guilty?!

Acorn that Photo is really fab- he is going to love it when he grows up and show if to his children
Thanks ladies, still looking ... Still houses are going crazy fast. Topsy whereabout are you talking about? South or Norht? We are looking further out already - there is no way we can afford to buy in London, my limit has been 40 minutes to central London too, but we are now looking for even further out like 45-50 minites. When you have a little one every minute of commute counts though...
Lil thats interesting , really interesting actually. We are now bidding for another house (bids due on Monday) ; this one is just close to a normal school, nothing special, 15 min to station too, and the house is in such a poor state I anticipate 3-6 months work before we can move in ; but even this house has a long list bidding for it...
I blame the school systems and their crazy small catchment areas. I listen to tv and radio programmes (i like lbc) about the issue and can't even think about a reasonable solution for this problem. Once you are outside catchment areas it is slightly better, but still loads of open days with a long queue in front of the properties sometimes...
I am keeping my fingers crossed for he house in poor estate though. I think we are going to go a lot higher than asking price for it, but I honestly don't know how high these things could go. I wish it was an auction.

Sorry ladies, is it really obvious that the only thing in my mind is house hunting? I forgot this is a baby forum :)
To make my post relevant then : ds is well. i was the one thinking I will never have a second but when we visit a house we look at the bedrooms to see if the second bedroom has enough space for two, for an unlikely event that we started tcc again in the next couple of years!!!

Hi ladies.
Great photo acorn. We didn't get much snow either. Was out walking and it was coming down pretty quickly but A slept through it!
Good luck with the house hunting Nazly.
We are currently in Ireland at the pil. A is getting very spoilt, but so are we and we have a night out tomorrow too
Think we have molars coming through here too. Must be very painful for them.

Yes Lii, we're going to the tour in Birmingham.

Nazly we're north of London. Somewhere like Stevenage would be even quicker but the prices start getting more expensive.

I thought Stevenage was cheap, well.cimoared to the rest of Herts anyway!

I am soo tired! Looking forward to my bed tonight!!

E has all four of his first molars, and those seem to be the only teeth that haven't given him any issues!

The London property market blows my mind. I'm often amazed by it all. I'm Nottinghamshire/Derbyshire boarder. What would buy a large 4-bed with big garden near a good school here (about £220K), buys a flat in London. Really, I don't know how families manage down south.

lil - re calpol, I am more the other way. I think DD has had 6 or so doses of calpol in her life. I sometimes look back at a disturbed night and wonder if I should have given her calpol, but mostly I don't.

We are all poorly in this house at the moment. My Mum came round earlier with some rice pudding she made for us. When I was little she would always make me rice pudding when I was ill, it has become an established comfort food.

We weren't expecting her tonight, but she turns up on the doorstep with a huge dish of steaming, just-out-the-oven rice pudding. Just because we are all poorly. She's a real my Mum is

Fate thats so so lovely x thats what I always miss here... Hope you all get well soon...

And I think you may find your info on pricing is old, 220K would have bought you a 2 bed flat at the outskirt of great London 5 yrs ago; now it is more like 320K -
And of course we are just talking about the outskirt , inside go over 2m for zone 1/2 and over 1m for 2/3
This is really not sustainable ; i have no idea how long it may go like this though...

I'm not inside the m25, but not far outside and in an expensive area, so I'm v sympathetic about the house prices. We currently live in a v small 2.5 bed house. Other places in the country we could have a huge five bed detached for less!

DD is suddenly seeming so much more grown up. This morning she was having toast and clearly asked for "more please". I couldn't believe it! She's also very into playing with her dolls, feeding them milk, tucking then into bed and kissing them good night. I do love this age though

Hope everyone is doing well.

Awwww that's such a lovely photo Acorn! We didn't have enough snow here unfortunately.

Why I've chosen to resign:
Mainly because I'm just finding it really difficult working full time. I wanted to go back for three days but felt like I got fobbed off with a complete BS excuse by my employers as to why I couldn't. Z has settled in wonderfully at nursery but I still feel terrible guilt at how little time I get to spend with her.
I feel quite pathetic admitting this but I'm just not coping, and it's been four months now.
I decided at the start of December that I'd had enough and will be hoping to finish mid to end March ( lots of talking it all over with DH and he's being pretty supportive (for him) ) I'm going to see if I can find something on a self-employed basis and see how that goes. If I end up being a SAHM I wouldn't mind so much, except it would delay our planned house move in ~3/4 years.

Sorry if I'm going on.....

No need to be sorry zana, you are brave for admitting how you feel.

I have a firm theory that things happen for a reason and every cloud has a sliver lining. I asked for part time and was refused (teaching as well, where pt roles are very common and easily accommodated) and it was what prompted me to give up work. Without doubt the best choice I could have made. I am sure everything will work out for you

Consider the value you give to your family that is not money. Your salary is only a tiny fraction of what you can give the household. All the other ways you "contribute" (in a none monetary way) become more important when you are at home. Socialising with your children, getting involved in the community, being consistent in approaches to behaviour and routine, attending school events and extra curricular activities. Just the security and consistency of always being there.

Because I am not knackered or stressed it has a hugely calming effect on everyone else (husband and children), making everyone else feel less harassed and rushed. Without wishing to sound like a 50s housewife, is has been very good for my marriage that DH comes home to a smile and a calm house, where everyone has done their homework and dinner is ready.

It wasn't like that when I was working, personally for me I couldn't cope too. I was too busy, too stressed, too exhausted to cope with two toddlers. So I definitely don't think you are anything like pathetic Zana. You are brave for taking the decision to do something different and give another option a try

220K would have bought you a 2 bed flat at the outskirt of great London 5 yrs ago; now it is more like 320K

Blimey

It makes me realise the wider effect of house prices. It's not just "what kind of house can I afford?", it ends of affecting whole life choices.

If we had to treble our mortgage just to get something small, I certainly wouldn't be able to afford not to work. If I was working I would be paying childcare costs so I wouldn't have been able to afford 4 children (probably not even 3 children), even if I had the space.

If I wasn't a SAHM and didn't have a big family, I truly believe I would be a very, very different person now as a result. So the fact that I live in an area with reasonable house prices has profoundly affected my life choices.

You are absolutely right the London house prices are not sustainable Nazly. I dont understand how they've been sustained for the last 10 years really. It's a different life to mine.

Im actually really envious of you zana, Id love to be able to go part time/resign but finances etc dont allow. I hope it all pans out brilliantly for you x

Zana - I remember you mentioning your work being so inflexible when you went back. It can be very difficult to rock the boat against what you feel you should be doing, but life is so short, it is good to make decisions based on what will make your lives more enjoyable when you are able to! Best of luck with it. Fate put it very nicely about family dynamics and contribution to household.

It was just the other day I was saying about hardly ever using calpol.

Well currently, and since she woke at 11am, DD hasn't moved from lying across my legs. She's red hot to touch and is clearly poorly. It made me think of this thread and my post last week.

As soon as I can extract myself from the sofa, I'm going to give her some calpol. I might give her some ibuprofen as well.

Sorry to hear about your poorly DD Fate. I hope she gets better soon. xx Personally I love calpol. It's been a saviour with teething DD!

Interesting to read your post Zanashar. Honestly I wish I could quit nursing. It's only the money that keeps me there (and it's not like I'm paid millions either). Did a 15 hour shift yesterday and it was, frankly, shit. Understaffed, lots of high care needs patients, and lots of bickering amongst the staff. I was in tears by the end of the day with stress and exhaustion and have been crying this morning. To top it all the ward has got f D&V again so it's probably only a matter of time before I catch it too and then DH and DD. And during the day yesterday I just kept thinking of DH and DD and I really, really wished I could be at home with them rather than having to work every bloody Sunday. Sorry for the rant.

You can always rant here whenever you need to KitKat

My DH often says similar about thinking about us at home and wishing he was home with us - it's not something just Mums feel. It's horrible. DH's way of dealing with it is simply to avoid dwelling on it as much as possible during his working day.

15 hour days are really pants! Indeed, are shifts that long even allowed?! It must be hard to do even on good days, let alone shitty days like yesterday. At least you'll get a few days off with your DD later in the week though.

My SIL is a nurse, I know the bullshit and stress you have to deal with at work. Look after yourself

Kitkat I dont do 15 hour shifts but I know how you feel, rant away.

Hope you've managed to get the calpol out now FATE

FATE - I had to pick up DD early from nursery today due to a temp! Hope your DD recovers quickly c

Kitkat - rant away! I've also been in tears over work this morning. A combination of two big deadlines coming up, finding something really difficult to work out with one if them, tired because I'm working late every night, up early with DD, having to do almost everything around the house and with DD due to DH recovering from his op, then having to leave work early to get DD. Well, I got home, fed DD and put her down for a nap, turned to DH and burst into tears!

Zana - nothing wrong with your decision at all.

I (usually) adore my job, but in many ways I'm dreading going back to ft in April. Unfortunately I'm the higher earner on our house and we can't afford for me to be pt any longer. I also have the opposite issue of work being really flexible and happy for me to work pt, but it is quite difficult to do my job pt in practice, which leads to loads of stress.