Just Mumming Thread 7 - the grads grads cope with walking, own rooms and have little time for shagging

[LaLaLaaaa]

New thread! Roll call...

Baby Snap sounds like a pig at a trough when he breaths. Sometimes it's a disconcertingly wet, gurgly sound which makes me paranoid about aspiration - going to get him weighed today so will ask HV.

Rm, I think colic has no definitive known cause but is thought to be related to digestive issues, eg wind or indigestion.

Non-baby related: is it possible to embolden people's user names when posting from an iPhone?!

I am a master at colic/ reflux Fleur!
Reflux is when baby has heartburn pretty much and the acid is coming back up. It hurts them so they cry.
Colic is when babies can't break down lactose properly and therefore cry because they end up with bad tummy ache and wind- infacol is shit try colief as that actually breaks down some of the lactose in the milk.

If those both fail then it's more than likely a dairy intolerance- my advice here is if you feel like you want to throw your baby out of the window because they are screaming constantly and nothing helps it'll be this and you need to go and sit in a doctors office until they give you hypoallergenic milk.
If you have shitty, not very compassionate doctors like me then it may take a couple of weeks of emergency appointments before they'll take you seriously. Honestly though best time is when the baby is screaming and you're at your wits end. I cried all over my dr in the end and it got me what I needed. R has been a different baby since Sunday just gone, pretty much sleeping through, gurgling and cooing loads and is offering lots of smilies. He cries for seconds/ minutes now rather than hours and only then it's because he's tired and scared of missing anything. Nosy bugger.
It's a horrible feeling when you can't calm your baby down but if you've tried other routes and they're just not working then demand a trial of the milk. We tried 3 different formulas, 4 types of bottles, infacol, colief and gavisvon- nothing worked and the gavisvon just made R severely constipated which made the screaming/ crying worse.

la I just put S in a sleep suit and no blanket when hot.

So, S finally slept at 10.30 and woke at 3am for feed, went straight back to sleep until 6 for another feed. Then he screamed until 8.30 when I fed him again. He finally slept on my lap for two hours from 9 - 11.30 and I am just feeding him again.

I am crossing all my fingers that gaviscon is doing something.

Thanks pixie that's really useful.

I am BF and so, starting yesterday afternoon, I have quit dairy (this is going to be a struggle!) but I guess I could just give up BF and go on to FF? I would be reluctant to do that as I worked so hard to establish BF and it's the only nice time we have together at the moment

Wil investigate colief. Thanks again x

My child has started being difficult to put down to sleep. I'm assuming this is normal. He will have feed, be all sleepy, do a poo, so we then have to change nappy, then he's awake. I sometimes try to top his feed up to make him sleepy again, which works at night.

But I fed him at 11am today and he's STILL awake. We've been reading babycentre stuff about trying to interact with him during day and keeping quiet at night, to teach him difference between day and night. So in last hour we've put him on the playmat for a few minutes, he's been rocked and sung to, he's been in the bouncer, I've attempted feeding again (not interested). He's just making this grunting/panting noise with his breathing, yawning now and then and generally just a happy awake baby. But does this mean I'm going to have an overtired grumpy baby later? Or is this normal? I'm hoping he'll start to drift off soon and I can put him down, but surely then he's going to wake up for feed again in about 1.5 hours?

Also - another quick question. Do you time outings around feeds? We want to go for a walk to park with him in the Ergo, but if he does finally fall asleep I don't want to wake him - but equally if I'm meeting people at a certain time he needs to fall in with that. How do you guys manage it?

snap - yes, by putting '*' before and after, but annoyingly you can't see the bold writing on the app

dulcet I wondered that too - apparently after CS the baby can be quite mucuousy and it's normal. DS pants lots and also makes grunty noises

Im so annoyed because we were in a routine of every 3 hour feeds, but the hospital stay has totally wrecked it. Last night was 10pm, 1am, 4am, 6am, 8am, 10am. Inbetween times there was lots of pain from the antibiotics hurting his tummy so I had to sit up with him cuddling and rubbing his belly. V. tired.

Me and dh are trying as hard as anything to be tolerant with each other and remember why we're doing this, but every now and then we snap at each other :(

Who was talking about having to wear bras to sleep the other day? I absolutely hate it because it makes me sweaty and uncomfortable. But I've just looked on Mothercare website and they have some night bras that look uber-comfy! Pack of two for £24 here

oh god why wont he sleep?!!!

That was me La, thank you.

So my advice to everyone stressing about day time sleeps, routines etc would be to throw the rule books out the window. I know it's really hard with your first baby as you've only got them to think about, and I was just the same with Mini. But honestly I'm so much more relaxed this time because I generally have no idea how long she has been awake or how long since she last fed etc. So therefore I don't stress about it. She sleeps when we go out in the car or sometimes in the carrier. Occasionally if MrWil is around I'll sneak off and have a nap with her or at least get her settled in her cot but can't really do this by myself as big sister comes in and disrupts everything. She completely fits in around whatever we're doing so I don't time outings or anything. I can see the value in doing that but I used to get so stressed when Mini wouldn't sleep when she was 'supposed' to be sleeping and now, I have none of that stress. I know some people love a routine but I really find it so much easier without one.

Fleur the dairy thing honestly isn't that bad although appreciate it might be a bit worse for you as a vegetarian. I was super strict for 8 weeks and now have found that actually I don't need to be. I still avoid milk, yoghurt, cheese and cream and mostly eat a dairy free diet but am able to have the odd piece of cake or something cooked that contains a bit of dairy. I even had an ice cream on holiday and didn't really notice any adverse effects. I think once both your systems are cleared from it, it's often about not flooding them with too much bit you can get away with a little. Obviously some babies are more sensitive than others but that is my experience anyway.

Yeah, I really wouldn't worry about a routine at this stage, as irritating as that may sound. Just doing what the baby wants when he wants to do it is the only way to get by without driving yourself crackers I feel! We still don't really have much of a routine at 7m, apart from that which he has naturally fallen in to. I really wouldn't be waking him to feed at this stage unless he's still jaundiced? Just feed on demand. Slings are magic for sleepy dust, at this age he will most likely fall asleep as soon as he's in it. Going out wise, just make plans and accept they will include feeding/ bum changing etc. I wouldn't try to make plans around "nap time" or "feed time" because you will end up just never going out - and that way madness lies!! It takes them a fair while to figure out the day/ night thing. Keep doing what you're doing though. Someone told me, not sure if it's true, once they stop pooing in the night it means their circadian rhythm is established.

Just my two pennorth

Thanks wil I must admit I have eaten loads of dairy since S was born - just easier to grab a cheese sandwich at lunch and I have eaten my body weight in ice cream

I have almond milk, oat milk and vegan flapjacks I can do this!!!

S is asleep

You will get more comfy with feeding in public as time goes on, which helps with going out and timings etc!

Glad things seem to have improved slightly Fleur .... Bourbon biscuits are dairy free!! You're welcome!

So are Oreos!
And there's a banana loaf in the normal cake section of Tescos.
Don't get fake cheese though, it's rank.

Co-op are brilliant for vegan stuff - check online which products are vegan, there are lots you wouldn't expect to be dairy free. (i have lots of vegan friends)

Just tried ergo with insert - miniLa's feet don't stick out enough so they are all squished and he just looked generally squashed, so we don't think we're doing it right. Going to take it to clinic to ask for help

la I'd use the stretchy wrap at his age. Also, my little one snacks, so she feeds every hour and a half at the longest during the day..if id tried to time going out around it id still be stuck indoors. I do often turn up at places early then feed her in the car before doing what we went for, so I get a while without her wanting boob :)

I think feet are supposed to be tucked in at his age La? Am I right in thinking you got it second hand- did you get the instruction leaflet? Think I've got one somewhere. Or look on YouTube. Stretchies are generally easier for newbs but Mr P never got on with ours.

Or they can be in or out? Mashed potato brain.

Bourbons! Who knew! Thanks ladies

Another total non-routiner here la. I basically let TT be in charge for the most part, I think it was popz that told me about the 4th trimester theory, which is worth looking at. I usually give him a good boobing 20/30 min before we go out so he's nice and dopey for the car. At night I change him between boob swapping, as nappy changes make him wide awake, so he gets another go as he falls asleep. I only change if it's poo or very very wet, I let the nappies do their job! He is still refusing to sleep unless held, so for the last 9 weeks he's been asleep on my chest while I'm sort of propped up in bed at night, which I'm sure would give my HV a coronary, but it does mean that I can nap with my top pulled down and he can snack at the buffet at his leisure.
His sort of patterns is like this....
Mr tee comes in from work about 7, they have a bath together and he does change into Jim jams, they sometimes have a kick about on the gym mat thing while i make dinner (or at least start it) then I'll feed him just before we eat (or while we eat if it's something non hazardous or saucy) and then we'll take him up to bed with us about 10 ish - sometimes he's awake, sometimes he isn't. One more nappy change before bed, and he usually has a quick feed before he drops off on me about 11. He usually wakes between 1.30-2.30 for another quick snack and then we sleep until it starts getting light and this is where I think I might need blackout curtains because the little monkey likes to be up and about wanting entertainment from about 5am. Then he has another feed about 6ish and we hang out in bed until about 8.30, sometimes later depending on what the night was like, and then we shower/wash and dress and basically see how the day unfolds. I don't time or count his daytime naps, and I don't wake him up for anything unless I need a wee or the door goes, or the cats bring me a half dismembered vole - again, he only naps on me or Mr tee!
If there's a day where I want to get out and about with him, I actually found doing this a few times on my own made me more efficient then having Mr Tee faffing around with me, yes, it requires a bit of planning and making sure things are loaded in the car, changing bag packed etc in advance but I've got it down to a reasonably good drill now. That said we do have days where he screams blue murder the minute I put him in the car seat, and if a boob won't cure it and it's not something urgent then we just skip it and hang out indoors instead.
He had his first set of jabs yesterday and was remarkably well behaved during, but after was less funny - I don't recommend trying to arrange house viewings while you have a screaming baby glued to you! I also shot the syringe of carpool in his mouth too fast so he inhaled some of it and choked which set Mr tee off telling me I'd drown him, and by this point I'd thoroughly had enough what with all the other shit going on with the house, his family being dicks about 'not seeing TT enough, you're keeping us from him, don't you think it's selfish that only you can feed him, we're his family too, we bought so much for him' so I had a tiny rage. Because buying a three lack of vests from teach entitles you to gate crash every single weekend plan we have.

Tee what the actual fuck??? Please tell me they didn't really call you selfish for breastfeeding? It's probably one of the most selfless things you can do. How did you contain the rage?

Apparently Tesco do a Bourbon spread a la Nutella Fleur but I haven't found it yet.

Breastfeeding is selfish?? Mwahahahhaa! Idiots.

Have just got B ready for bed and am yet again struggling with temperature. Until the 1 tog sleeping bag I ordered arrives I thought I'd put him in sleep suit and nothing else as you guys suggested, no blanket. Last night I think he kept waking up coz he was too cold - he was in short sleeve bodysuit with cellular blanket but kept kicking blanket off.

He seems quite warm though in sleepsuit. Other option is bodysuit plus lightweight swaddle. But that might be warmer?

This is so hard!

Thanks for your post tee I just read it to dh as its pretty much identical to what we'd discussed doing oursves. I've just bathed B (screamed house down) and he's ready for bed. I'm going to do feed then go to bed and dh will do later feed with expressed milk so I can I have a few extra hours sleep

It'll be a lot warmer now than in the middle of the night though. Although I'm obviously in a much colder place than you. I'm debating whether to go with bodysuit under sleepsuit! I'd put him in whichever one you think is easiest to change if you think he's too hot - so maybe the swaddle?