"Another of these weird nights here. She's falling asleep around 7, but not happily staying asleep until after 9. At that point sleeping until midnight. That's a 5+ hours without food, so she can do it. After midnight awake until gone 4, half screamy, half chatty. After 4 will only stay asleep of touching me.
Any ideas?"
It sounds to me like your little girl wants to sleep with you, in bed with you. If it was me I'd just go with the flow and let that happen.
I also wouldn't bother putting her 'to bed' at 7pm, I'd make that sleep a daytime nap and do bedtime as 9pm - including bath and getting PJs on at that time, since it suits her. (my DD is often napping half hour before she has her bath, but still goes down OK when we put her to bed properly an hour later).
I absolutely wouldn't tolerate several hours awake in the night - Midnight to 4 awake, blimey. You must have the patience of a saint. I take the easy option at nightime at this age - feed, feed, feed, feed and cuddles in bed with me. Have you tried lying down breastfeeds (assuming you are bfing)? Once me and DC2 figured out lying down feeding I stopped even properly waking up for feeds - he just found his own way.
Feed enough and you eventually get to the 'milk drunk' stage of being really dozy.
I generally do my crying checks in the following order:
- hunger (feed, feed and feed again)
- comfort (nappy, sore bum, temperature, bunched up clothes or blankets)
- pain (medicate as required)
- sleep (dummy, cuddles)
In the middle of the night if it's not the first three then you have tried everything and baby just needs to sleep. If it was me at that point baby would be cuddled up close next to me in bed and I'd just ignore or shush through any grumbles because there is simply nothing else you can do. If still crying after half an out close cuddles then I'd start at the beginning of the checks again and so start with feed, nappy and so on...