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September 2014 Babies leave the newborn stage behind. Thread 2

998 replies

SeptemberBabies · 04/11/2014 12:38

New thread because our initial thread is about to max out.

For babies born around September 2014 - or just before for early arrivals and just after for late arrivals.

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
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10
Nazly · 12/12/2014 21:09

Ladies I ordered Clevamama Clevafeed so ds starts familiarising himself with tastes -starting in a couple of weeks or when it arrives; I thought it will then be quicker and easier to wean him later then as he knows what to expect ... I also thought it would be better than eating his fingers and drool all day!!!

RedToothBrush · 12/12/2014 21:32

Er, not really. I'm not exactly good with doctors. Discussing things with my GP are a little difficult when you have an inability to speak to doctors full stop. (Massive reason for my ELCS) The fact I'm managing to talk to HV without support of DH is a minor miracle and not something I could have done 6 months ago. (Taking DS for his vaccination by myself last time even more so) But I still struggle with the whole HCP relationship.

I really don't want to take medication as my issues are related to trust and relationships which is learned behaviour rather than one that needs to be medicated. I had a wonderful bunch of midwives who helped a lot, but I still find it really hard and I'm generally very fragile with health issues.

I don't really know what the answer is. They wanted close involvement of HV so that I had a relationship and to encourage me to ask for help if I needed it. But on the other hand I'm now feeling it intrusive and causing a problem in its own right. My worry about stepping back from HV is it being viewed as putting DS at risk, so although I know I'm not obliged to see them, it depends on how they interpret that decision.

DH is regarded as supportive and I'm the one under scrutiny (which I think is pretty unusual in itself) hence why I'm feeling having him back me up if there is a potential issue is important. Unfortunately DH really isn't able to take time off as he has in the past when I was pregnant.

CumbrianExile · 12/12/2014 22:14

Holls - I've started putting A down in his cot in the afternoon if I'm in. Found he settles much better as there is less going on around him so he isn't fighting sleep.

He's been a nightmare today though. Been very sicky. Am hoping it is the teething and him putting it hand in his mouth?

Beccus · 12/12/2014 22:57

red, trust ur insticts. if u think he is ok, he probably is. if he is sleeping through, he must be comfortable & getting enough milk & if he has lots of wet nappies, he is getting enough. hv seem to be reassured by regular monitoring, so nod and pretend to take their advice seriously and agree to go back regularly and they shouldn't be too problematic. a lactation consultant should be able to answer any qus u have re ur way of feeding, I would have thought. They would also be helpful in fighting ur corner with hv.

FATEdestiny · 12/12/2014 23:13

Holls - do whatever is easiest, I don't think there is a prescribed right time for daytime naps to be in a cot, just whatever works.

When I had DC2 and DC3, I had a toddler in the house at the same time. Therefore they had sleeps upstairs in cot pretty much from birth, so that they weren't disturbed by the toddler.

Red - It must be hard for HV to get the balance right. They must monitor your health and your sons health, but also be supportive of your expressing. Is it better that they say nothing about dropping percentiles and go straight to a peads referral with no warning if weight drops below the threshold? Or is it better to warn you that this weight gain trend is concerning so there is a chance to alter the trend?

I don't know the answer but have had the benefit of hindsight with DC3 - my only FF child. I hated HV (and postnatal midwives) for intrusive weigh-ins. He was not just dropping centiles, he was losing weight.

But he slept well, cried very little, had widely spaced feeds and so seemed content and happy. I was told (and now accept with hindsight) that these are in fact symptoms of a malnourished baby, not a content one. he was sleepy and quiet because he was getting dangerously too few calories.

I wouldn't accept this. I was angry because they did not support me breastfeeding and gave me the impression there was something wrong with my parenting. I realise now that their main concern was DS, when I had selfishly wanted their main concern to be me - I want to breastfeed. I eventually realised that feeding wasn't about me, it was about the baby. His health was much more important than my principles on breastfeeding. My principles were making him malnourished.

I am not suggesting you move to formula by the way. Just saying that it is hard for HCP to get the balance right.

holls2000 · 13/12/2014 05:25

morning - ideas please...
for the last 2 nights, b has wiken himself and his poor sleep deprived mummy up looking for his thumb. I look at hin and he is frantically putting hia fists in his mouth, and getting really cross. he goes ti sleep with a dummy but always spits it out. at the moment this is standing between me and a 5 hr stretch of sleep...

Beccus · 13/12/2014 07:42

fate, that is really interesting your other dc's gained weight with bf but dc 3 didn't. do u know why things were different with him? I do think there is a big difference between dropping centiles (is gaining weight slower than expected) & actually losing weight, which I would be worried about.

FATEdestiny · 13/12/2014 11:49

Hi Beccus

Massive difference between losing weight and not gaining weight fast enough, but the latter does eventually lead to the former. DC3 lost his 10% birth weight and then was initially slow to gain but was gaining. By 3 weeks he was losing weight.

I look back now and still don't know the reason. As far as I was aware he had good attachment and was breastfeeding well and getting milk when on the boob. But he didn't feed often and I can't know how much he had each feed (but assume not enough).

He was a very 'easy' baby, didn't cry and slept well right through babyhood. I wonder if it was just his laid back easy going nature?

RedToothBrush · 13/12/2014 13:21

Fate, that's been helpful. DH's argument about DS being happy so there can't be an issue and its just me over reacting has fallen flat on its face. He's taking it all a bit more seriously now.

DS lost 10% of his birth weight and was slow to start regaining it. It was put down to issues with feeding but we got on top of that.

Given I'm expressing, I at least know that DS is roughly getting the right amount of food, which narrows down possible problems a little. So next thing to look at I guess is calorie content of milk. Given I'm expressing that could potentially be an explanation if my milk isn't containing enough fat. So I think I'm going to look at expressing more often to see if that makes a difference at all, as empty / full breasts have different fat content in milk.

Why can't there be a nice little leaflet or booklet for expressing? Or even a website that has SOMETHING about it which is more than simply a footnote.

TeamEponine · 13/12/2014 15:29

Red - first of all, can I just say again how in awe of you I am for the way you are feeding! You are a superstar Grin If you are concerned about the calorie/fat content, and if you can express enough, how about freezing the first half oz or so of milk that you express? That is the thinner and less calorie laden milk. You. Oilfield use this when baby is being weaned to make up porridge or similar. When DD had put on no weight for two weeks I did this for every daytime feed for two weeks and it did make a difference as she started gaining weight.

TeamEponine · 13/12/2014 15:44

No idea what happened half way through my message!!! Should have read... you can then use this...

Nazly · 13/12/2014 20:08

Red I was so interested in the subject that I just found this for you
med.stanford.edu/news/all-news/2012/01/differences-in-pumping-affect-breast-milks-nutritional-value.html

FATEdestiny · 13/12/2014 20:31

That's a really interesting article Nazly, thank you for finding it.

FATEdestiny · 13/12/2014 20:40

I've just read this thread. A woman seeking advise about long term expressing. Red, you'd be great for advise there.

RedToothBrush · 13/12/2014 22:48

That article is very interesting. Thanks Nazly. Its much appreciated. The hand expressing stuff seems to tally up with what I've noticed too. I do a bit just to deal with blocked ducts, but I guess I'll be doing more of it!

Fate, I posted on the thread with everything I could think of off the top of my head. I feel for the woman, but that's going to be really tough with prem twins and all the extra stresses and emotions that go with it. I've barely managed it with a full term singleton.

Team, that sounds like a bit of a plan, if I can increase my supply a bit more again. I'm currently getting about 900ml a day (I need around 800ml + wastage) but I was getting more like 1250ml a couple of weeks ago.

Thank you guys so much. You all keep me sane!

Nazly · 14/12/2014 09:32

You are very welcome - interestingly enough without knowing, I always use hand when pump expressing but that is because I express after ds is fed in the evening, and when my breasts don't feel full at all... Without using my hands I probably get half as much milk. But this milk has so much fat content that when I put it in fridge the third upper part of the small bottles I use seems to be fat!!!
When I didn't have this routine and had to express more frequently for his meds I sometimes only expressed formilk ; I remember in early days one time the milk was so thin and watery (it was the first oz or less of a full breast) that later when I wanted to take it out from the fridge I thought this can't be right, perhaps the bottle had water in it when I expressed and so I got rid of it !!! Shock with more experience later I learned formilk can be that watery!!

Anyhow, Red, when ds was in intensive care and I had to express the bf consultant in hospital told me I had to resemble how ds would have fed if he was breast feeding, so I used alarms to express every three hours... Even now at 4 months old ds does not go longer than 3 hours apart from nights; I know it would be difficult but could you perhaps express more frequently in case there is a difference? Also I would not get rid of the thiner milk, but maybe just keep it separately to use it later...

Nazly · 14/12/2014 09:37

On another note, we bought munchkin inflatable duck tub for ds as he got too big for his small bath and it is so good, a lot of fun and much better than using big bath! I bet it also pays for itself as we save a lot of water!

lilone1234 · 14/12/2014 11:25

Red - your perseverance with expressing is amazing and such a big commitment to give your little one the best you can. This new info is very interesting, but should be so much more readily available to women, considering how heavily breast milk is advocated and how many women have problems breastfeeding!

So, I shouted at my baby last night. I feel awful about it. My mum has been in intensive care for the last week (she has a chronic lung condition and got a chest infection which basically shut her lungs down and now she is heavily sedated and on a ventilator) and so we made the trip to the hospital and back (over an hour each way) like we already have 4 times this week. DP sat at my mums with baby and I spent 2 hours at the hospital with my brother. Didn't get home til 8:30pm, thought we would get takeaway because we were tired but took over an hour to come. So it was nearing 10pm - poor tired baby screaming but refusing to sleep, me exhausted, emotional and with a stinking cold and I just shouted at her that I couldn't deal with her screaming her head off. I also ended up dropping rice all over the kitchen floor then threw my socks away because rice was stuck to them.

Then obviously sobbed apologies to poor little baby who DP had now settled. Am I awful?

FATEdestiny · 14/12/2014 11:35

lilone1234

No, you are not. I would be surprised if anyone said they had never reached that level of peaked frustration, especially with their first child. I know I did.

You know that baby cannot help it and cannot answer back, but that does not help your frustration when everything gets too much. It is never a problem just to put baby down in the cot and walk away. Make a cup of tea, drink it and when you're done you will feel calmer. We've all been there.

I hope your Mum gets better soon, that sounds very stressful for the whole family. I am so sorry you are having to go through this.

TeamEponine · 14/12/2014 11:59

Lil - like FATE says, I'd think most people have reached this level of frustration, and with everything you have going on it is so easy for emotions to run high. Try not to beat yourself up about it. Hope your mum is doing ok today. Flowers

Does anyone else have a long and skinny baby, and if so, which shop's clothes work best? DD is only 10lb at three months and just out of newborn clothes (well, she still has some dresses that fit her beautifully!). However, most of the 0-3 month baby grows are only just long enough in the leg, but I have to turn the sleeves back loads, they really gape around the neck and there is a ridiculous amount of spare material around her torso. Any ideas where might sell baby grows that fit her a bit better? The ones I have at the moment are from Asda, Debenhams and Mothercare. Ta!

holls2000 · 14/12/2014 18:20

lil- god you are brilliant. I shoutef at B when he was a week old. then spent the next day crying because I had... hope your mum is ok. x

lilone1234 · 14/12/2014 20:11

Thanks ladies. DP has looked after me today and Molly has had a few sleeps so have been able to relax a bit once deciding not to do the trip to the hospital again today.

Team - I find asda sleepsuits to be the shortest by far so it's no wonder your little one would be growing out of them! Maybe try boots ones, they are quite skinny but I think quite average in length. Someone has said before that sainsburys ones are a bit longer. John Lewis and m&s are the most generous sized I've found, but all over rather than just in length.

RedToothBrush · 14/12/2014 22:39

Team, we are long and skinny. He has a long body in comparison to his legs. He still in size 2 pampers despite being 12lb 2 (they are supposed to be up to 13lb). He clearly has a small bottom!

DS grew out of Morrisons (Nutmeg) and Asda 0 - 3 month stuff first.
I've found the Morrisons stuff skinnest out of the supermarket brands. We've not tried Sainsburys yet.
He still fits into his Tesco 0 - 3 month body suits at the moment. We've just bought a couple of 3 - 6 sleep suits and a 'Born in 2014' body suit (which was a mighty 50p) this weekend. They are big on him, but not massively wide.
So because the Morrison's stuff is slightly smaller, its a good intermediate size so we started with 3 - 6 month body suits a few weeks, whilst still using the 0 - 3 month Tesco ones which will probably last another couple of weeks before we have to go up to 3 - 6.
I generally wouldn't say any of the supermarkets were better for this reason. They are just better at different times! As a rule though, I've found Morrisons and Tesco stuff skinner than some of the more expensive brands tbh.

M & S stuff is very generous. DS seems to be a bit too skinny really.
I fit the Boots stuff quite skinny in the arms, but is fairly well proportioned otherwise.
I've only got t-shirts from Mothercare, which I find are great - except the sleeves are too long (though I have this issue with pretty much everywhere). DS is still getting away with a couple of 0 - 3 month ones.
Gap are w-i-d-e. Nice but w-i-d-e.
He's only just growing out of his 0 - 3 month John Lewis trousers, but I don't know whether this is just because he's got short legs.
He's got a Frugi 0 - 3 month sleep suit which is still HUGE on him. I don't know what's going on with that one.

Hema www.hemashop.com (Well established and large Dutch company that sell across Europe but only started selling online to the UK in the last couple of months) also seem to be really good for DS. We bought a number of items whilst we were on holiday in the Netherlands last year, but they have started selling here too now. They are more stretchy and thin than stuff I've bought here, so have both lasted as well as fitting snugly. We had a newborn bodysuit, which lasted longer than anything else in the same size, yet always fitted well. The sizing is European so its a bit confusing, if you aren't used to it- I believe its just length in cms so its fairly straight forward really (3 - 6 months is roughly 62/68). I like their stuff as its quite bright but simple and not too fussy. Sadly their online shop doesn't seem to show stuff terribly well.

The best thing we have found that most suits his proportions seems to be polarno pyret though. But its pricey. We've a lovely long sleeved body suit which is great. Very long and narrow. It also has sleeves which are designed to be folded over too.

My suspicion is that European brands are better for DS's shape as a rule, but the problem is getting stuff cheaply over here. Clearly British babies are a different shape for some bizarre reason.

Having said that, sleep suits are just a pain in the arse wherever I buy them as his body is either to long or the legs are too short. So separates fit much better (but are more of a pain to change). And the sleeves on just about everything are too long.

God that makes DS sound like a spoilt fashion victim but really he's not. We just got given a lot of stuff and bought a few basics on clearance

Lilone, don't be hard on yourself. You obviously are under an enormous amount of pressure. I hope your Mum gets better soon. Some times you do just need to walk away for your own sanity.

Nazly · 14/12/2014 22:55

Red (&Fate) quick one for you: I need to increase my supply... Any ideas? ds have been sick for a week and is slowly picking up on feeding now, and. I have been sick in the last couple of days...
I normally got 50ml more than what he has every night which means I can freeze for 2ish feed each week for when I go back to work; (I don't want a bigger oversupply as the fast flow which comes with it bothers de). But this week not only I did not have that surplus, i some times could not express the amount he had with his meds the same day!!

Things I am doing: drinking lots and expressing once a night
Things I am not doing: not having any supplements, not getting much rest during the day (and I can hardly change that)

Thanks ladies

Nazly · 14/12/2014 23:02

Oh red why did you posted about the dutch shop, I have a thing for firstly scandinavian designs and clothes and secondly european ones specially dutch and I hardly find anything online here, so now I may be in trouble!

I hardly buy anything new for ds, most of his clothes are either given to us by friends with older babies or bought in great nearly new sales nearby or are fifts... With the rate he is growing I can not justify buying something for say ten pounds so he uses it twice !! Now I have to treat ds (or rather treat myself) to something :D