July 2014 - sleepless nights but lots of smiles

[NancyinCali]

The old thread is nearly full so here's a new place for us to chat about our July babies. Help yourself to some tea & cake to keep you going through the sleepless nights .

Has anyone had gastroenteritis while breastfeeding? How did you cope? DH and DD1 had it yesterday and I succumbed in the night. Definitely can't handle food right now but the baby is still feeding every 4 hours. Not sure I'll be able to make enough for her with no food in my system. Am I worrying for no reason?

ickle

the first child is the hardest. you know nothing and have no clue about what is actually going to happen.
it's like whirlwind.
DS1's first birthday was such a relief, I remember "wow, we made it".I felt like completing a marathon or passing an incredibly hard exam.

with DS2 it was so much easier, pg, birth, babyhood - it wasn't plain sailing, but at least i knew the ropes.

my biggest fear while pg with DS2 was that i won't be able to love him as much. but one look at his cute chubby cheeks and all fears and worries dissappeared.

sometomes it is really hard to come to the decision to have another (even harder for me to say no more!) and you are right it could take a while to concieve again.
but gaps don't actually matter that much, what matters is that you feel ready.

kiwi

dehydration is the biggest problem.
if you are very sick and you can't keep liquids down you might need an IV drip.
pls go to a hospital or at least call a helpline if you can't keep any water/flat coke down

poor you.

bread etc - babies and young children can get easily constipated on wholewheat/granary etc foods as they just can't digest them as well.
more liquids will help, but white bread, non-wholewheat pasta etc are actually better for this reason.
I know wholewheat is better nutritionally but not worth the constipation IMO

snow ah missed that he was bunged up :) glad he seems to be sleeping better

zing I would love loads of babies but I'm not sure my body would cope or we could afford it. One of my concerns about having another one is not being able to cope with the overwhelming emotions - I love ds so much it hurts and can't imagine feeling that times two iyswim? But not being able to love them as much isn't one of my fears.

interesting about wholewheat/granary bread making babies constipated though as it seems to have the opposite effect on ds. I don't usually buy bread as I don't usually eat it but dp has got in the habit of eating it.

kiwi hope you feel better soon

oh Auntie

you really don't need to explain your reasons either way, I was only kidding!

I have a lot of friends who had one child and no more, for various reasons and I get very angry with people who question the motivation of others as to having any number of kids and end up judging or criticising those who have "only one"

I hope I never made anyone here feel that lots of kids is the best way!
And I would never seriously suggest to anybody struggling with one to have more, let alone 6 more!
So please never feel you have to apologise or explain to anybody as to why you carry on or stop having kids. (unless you feel like talking about it, of course)

i have add one reason a friend of my came up with for stopping at 2. she said, laughing: "I'll have 2 kids because I have to hands to hold each child's hand when crossing the road. that's it"
good enough reason eh?

Thanks zing and auntie. I can keep down drinks so should be OK.

good to hear Kiwi

all crap is worse when you bf and worry about that too.
try some Diarolyte (sp) when you can stomach it

zing my reasons are just as practical - 2"hands, 2 parents, 'normal' sized car so will have 2 kids!

kiwi hope it is short lived and you can rest

Well one baby sleeping much better with some ibuprofen. ..and yet I'm awake with insomnia and feeling rotten. Think a cold is coming. ..

Kiwi I had it a couple of weeks ago, and felt dreadful, so I can sympathise . I didn't eat anything other than a piece of toast for two days, but I drank loads of water and kept bfing, and DS was fine. I'm amazed he didn't get ill himself, as DH had it, as well as both my parents. Hope you feel better soon.

Thanks zing but I wasn't trying to justify it I hopefully will have a second baby just don't know how I'm going to cope emotionally! I'd love 4 but we'll see...

I have a cold :( it's all in my sinuses - I must be knackered as I never get colds

ah ok Auntie

I get paranoid because as soon as new people find out we have 7 they start apologising or feel the need to give me excuses why they don't. it's a bit weird and makes me feel as if they thought I'd judge them. which I don't.

sorry you are in pain, sinusitis is vile. poor you.

Ladies I'm totally and utterly exhausted really need a break but know that is so selfish. I would even like to go to work. Just not to be responsible for someone else 24/7...I feel like I didn't know it was going to be this hard...

ickle

selfish? ha! never. it's called self-preservation.

you need headspace. babies are so exhausting. and they know it. That's why they are so damn cute .

have a think of how you could steal even just 30 mins a day to yourself. if it costs money, then it's worth the money.
if it costs begging or negotiations - do it.

repeat after me:
I am not selfish. I'm just human

now keep saying it over and over again until you believe me that it is true.
because it's true

and big hugs

has any of you watched Desperate Houswives?

Lynette Scavo is talking to a woman who is pg with her first and ask what it's like to have kids.

Lynette replies with a long rant sharing all the ugly truths of motherhood you never normally get told (your children will steal from your purse, you'll never wear a bikini again) which includes the best line:
"There will be so many moments when you'll feel lonely, but you'll never be alone"

it is in a way quite a depressing thought, but very true.
And every time I think of it, I think "Well, it's clearly up to me to make sure I have some time alone. because it will not happen by accident!"

And since MN I rarely feel alone! yay!

i meant rarely feel lonely!

Thanks zing y

Arhh pressed send!

Thanks zing you may have made me cry. You have described exactly how I feel!
Don't think it helped that dh had to work today and every time ds went to sleep I did jobs so never rested. ..will rectify this tomorrow

ickle

we all need a good cry every now and then.
tomorrow do the minimum and sleep as much as you can.
(big hugs)

Hope you have a better day tomorrow, ickle.

I think it's one thing to know intellectually that having children is hard, it's another to live with how unrelenting it can sometimes be. We have to be kind to ourselves and take time when we can.

Thanks kiwi I don't think it helps reading on facebook about peoples perfect babies and how happy they are etc- not the july group just my friends. Then I remember I am just as guilty always post smiling happy pictures never about how exhausted I am! I am looking forward to a more restful day. I have also arranged a baby sitter for next sat so dh and I get a night out and my parents are having ds next month over night - that I can't wait for!!!

On a different note how hard is it to change a nappy/dress a baby who wont stop rolling! What a pain!

ickle

don't you be a fool and fall for that FB crap!
you know it's not all that shiny. even if others lives are made to look perfect I guarantee you they are not living perfectly happy lives.

it's just make up to hide ugly wrinkles

please don't let whatever shite is on FB make you feel bad.

and well done on positive steps - a date night huh? yay!

I was just saying the other day that nappy / clothes changing on BabyZing is near impossible
hence my NC!

and in fact he has now mastered the art of sitting unaided!
I'm amazed. this is way earlier than any of the others.
he is just so strong, I'm convinced he'll walk before he's one

Thanks zing I know it's all rubbish but I just wish I could have an easy day without a fussy ds- just need to get him settled at childminders and I can enjoy work balance all starts next week!

Glad it's not just me with rolling baby being a nightmare to change! Ds also sits really well too and I fear isn't far off walking!

You are going back to work next week?
no wonder you are feeling all sorts of things - it is a hugely stressful change!

we need to swap babies for a week. less emotional attachment means less emotionally worn out.
you in?