July 2014 - sleepless nights but lots of smiles

[NancyinCali]

The old thread is nearly full so here's a new place for us to chat about our July babies. Help yourself to some tea & cake to keep you going through the sleepless nights .

We're all pretty much over our stomach bugs now, including the baby. Last night was awful, though. She wouldn't settle for longer than 10 minutes, waking screaming every time. I ended up sleeping with her on me on the sofa from midnight till 2am, then cosleeping for the rest of the night. She woke often and mostly would only sleep on me.

DH is home late tonight so that's fun too.

I think she might be teething properly, but I've thought that before so who knows!

Happily swap zing but I only have to have 1 right? Ds is starting settling at childminders next week I'm doing one day following week and building up to 3 a week by easter. ...

kiwi well done for surviving! Hope tonight is better - maybe ibuprofen if it is teething?

ickle

yes. just 1. in theory.

I went out for 2 hours, came back and he clung onto me so tight I don't think it would work!

Is there another massive development leap at nearly 7 months? DD2 is super clingy and is repeating what she did last night. I am so tired. We were starting to win on the feeds and sleep front.

Not sure about a leap kiwi but I think separation anxiety can kick in around now from memory.

Here's the chart kiwi- they are a bit in between fussy period and leap but ds is definitely learning how to roll both ways/crawl/pull himself up. He woke at 10 and after an hour of settling then woke 10mins later. Safe to say we gave up and coslept all night. ...we had gone 3 nights without any cosleeping but never mind!

Yes to separation anxiety though nancy lots of peekabo and mummy going for very short periods of time- likely all to be undone by mummy actually going when he starts at childminders!

Thanks both. Separation anxiety makes sense. She was better after I put one of my tops in bed with her.

GrouchyKiwi. You should know by now that you will never win . Hope last night was better...

Heh, true!

How do babies know when something is going on? Had my first driving lesson today so of course the baby woke often last night and was difficult this morning. At least she was good for my friend who babysat for me

Oh dear kiwi they really do know don't they! I know ds will be a nightmare on my first day back at work - I'm having insomnia most nights for at least an hour which I'm sure is because I'm so worried about ds settling. ..fingers crossed next week goes better than expected! Last night he was doing so well and was so close to self soothing in the night - was just grizzling and took 2 seconds to put dummy in and fast asleep but every hour again. He's got 3 teeth coming through so hoping after they are done we will be back to better nights!

Dh asked what my plans were for today ajd think was surprised that it literally consists of attempting to get my hair cut and going to asda. If the rain continues that will exactly be what we do but if dry will go for a walk!

Yesterday BabyZing pulled himself up to stand, trying to reach for an orange

yay!

he was gripping the fabric on the furniture really hard, properly hanging on to dear life, legs wobbling, bottom shaking, but standing and grinning like a Chesire cat!
DH, DS1 & DS2 just watched him in amazement.
proper jaw dropping moment and so lovely DH was there to see it, he has missed a few "firsts" with the others. plus it's DH's birthday today, this is the only present he gets!

*I meant I watched him too.

Arhh thats lovely zing well done babyzing! Ds currently tries to pull himself up on side of his cot- not managed it yet but will have to lower it soon because might not be long!

Well done BabyZing! I can't believe that babies on our group are already standing.

DD2 is 7 months today. My PILs are here atm so we went to the cinema last night. She cried for ages and eventually fell asleep on MIL. Wee dot.

how old is your older one snow?

gut instinct is that you need to stop staying with him till he falls asleep. you can do this gradually or go cold turkey.
it will be tough either way, but you have to change something, to make your lives easier, eventually, sorry.

not ludicrous. i remember how hard it was with 1, DS1 was a terrible sleeper.
at 8 months i tried to leave him to cry it out, after half an hour of hysteria he threw up.
i thought it was a one off so tried the next night. he puked again.
I actually apologised to him, properly and never ever did it again. it was the stupidest advice I ever took.

eventually, when he was nearer 2, I did the "method" when you gradually move away, detach physically - from lying in bed to sitting on floor, then opposite to bed, then nearer the door.
or just pottering about folding clothes or reading a book - not paying attention nor communcating as such, but being in there.
also combine this with leaving room for very short times "oh let me get my book" "i need a wee, but will be right back" etc - so they learn that you are nearby.

what do you think?

some children are more clingy. so what. if they need you for longer to cuddle to sleep it's ok.
when it's becomes a problem you will find a way to sort it!

and if he wants an explanation just tell him that it's going to be more difficult for you when dad is away - him going to bed on his own will be very helpful.
see if that works. also tell him that once he is in bed and you settled baby you will go back to him and check on him, even if he is asleep

another thing that worked with ours is this
tell him he doesn't need to sleep straight away, all you ask is that he lies quietly in his bed, with his eyes closed.
it works like magic. they try so hard to stay awake they get tired of it and fall asleep. tee hee hee

some did. DS3 was exceptionally good at going to bed.
others we struggled with.

DD is now roughly the same as your oldest (she is 3 in 6 weeks).
she varies from going to bed at 8pm and quiet and asleep in 15 mins to keep coming down the stairs, screaming, past 11pm.

i do not have a magic solution, i wish i did!

thing is this whole sleep malarkey is difficult because it is not a constant, predictable thing, but depends on activity level, how much they ate/drank, illness & recovery, growing spurths and so on...

as Michael McIntyre said " Before we had children I used to say to my wife 'Good night darling'. Now we say 'Good luck' "

so so true!

I think it's also important to remember that some nights you actually don't mind whether they sleep on time, other nights it's extremely frustrating to try and establish or keep to a routine.
So when you happened to be more relaxed don't let the reins go too loose, conversely when you are really tired & annoyed try and pretend you are not. kids sense you are stressed and it makes them feel insecure - they need more reassuring (hence extra requests) - vicious circle.
so fake it till you make it, deep breaths and act nonchalant. You're more likely to stay in control!

hope this helps

Snow feel free to ignore if this is rubbish advice as I can't remember when ds1 was 2.8 but would a reward chart work? It could be as simple as a sticker on a piece of paper for each day he goes to sleep on his own and if he gets a certain number by the end of the week then a small toy? Emphasis on being a big grown up boy.

He maybe too young but sounded quite mature from your description. Threats and bribery are basically my parenting strategy

Snow was going to ask if you could stagger and use cbbc if need be to help. Also if sticker charts don't work many friends with older dc have said audio books are good to settle children and they fall asleep listening to them- worth a try?