October 2006

[Bronze]

Am I the first one here or have I completely missed the thread? If this is the only thread please come and join me
Bron

Hi everyone

Just got back home from hospital a couple of days ago after giving birth to a gorgeous little boy called Leo on 23rd Oct. Been in for so long as lo has jaundice and doesn't appear to be getting better so he's on phototherapy machine at home. We have a check up tomorrow at hospital to rule out any serious cause of his jaundice so I'm quite worried at the moment.

Urgh I hate hormones, I went and sobbed all over the midwife yesterday it didn't help that the neo natal unit had asked us to come in earlier cos DS seems hungrier earlier on so we re-arranged our schedule and our lift to the hospital and then when we got there they wouldn't let us feed him and made us put his milk down his NG tube. Its so bloody frustrating. I just want him home its impossible to breastfeed when there's a different nurse every day and each one has a different view of breastfeeding and how to do it and whether to do it. I nearly cried when one of them called me a mean mummy for not breastfeeding, I was begging them at the time to let me breastfeed and they wouldn't I can't win. Don't know if its the hormones but I feel like a complete and total failure at the moment. Sorry to moan just need to let it out of my system before I explode

How dare anyone say that to you! !

Getting bfing started can be hard work at the best of times, and with your LO in NICU it must be particularly tough.

Get in touch with NCT and/or LLL. They will have good advice and support for you. The NCT has an experiences register, where you can be matched up with someone who has also had the experience of feeding a LO in NICU, and you can talk with them on the phone. You are not alone - it's all very well someone like me posting to you, but I haven't been where you are, and someone who knows and understands what you're going through would be able to give you even better support.

No way are you a failure! You are doing your best to get through a very tough time. Keep your chin up and reward yourself for every thing that you achieve. With a newborn even getting out of the house showered and wearing fresh clothes is an achievement worth celebrating!

Fresh breastmilk in the eye is veryu good for sticky eyes. So much so that when ds had a sticky eye at about 3yo and I was bfing his little sister, I put a few drosp in his eye in the evening, and the following morning, and by that night his eye had cleared. It won't have much effect if the eye is sticky because the tear duct is blocked, but will clear it otherwise.

Justers and Bewilderbeast - my thoughts are with you at this trying time, I don't have any advice, just want you to know that I hope that your lo's 'get well' very soon and you can take them home in the not too distant future.

Sallyrose and Gingeme - although I know exactly how awful it is, it is so nice to know I am not the only one struggling with the eldest child. I totally know how you feel as it seems all I do is launch into dd1 for not eating her dinner, not eating her lunch, not letting me clean her teeth, not doing this or for doing stuff she shouldn't. All she wants is her dad - when I do try to do some nice things with her she hits me and pushes me away. It is completely heart breaking and I don't know what to do to be honest. I am petrified when dh goes back to work as it'll mean just me and the two girls - dd2 is a doddle, dd1 scares the pants off me! Trying to get her ready for playschool, etc - knowing that it'll be a battle is daunting. Then there is a part of me that is looking forward to him going back to work so I can try to establish some kind of a routine. Am i losing it?!

I am so glad I have everyone here as I think I would have gone stir crazy by now.

...Anyway sorry for really long post - just wanted to know that I know exactly how you feel, and gingeme- I welled up when I read your post as I am the same with dd - It is probably true that by tommorrow they would have forgotten, but we don't and thats what hurts too.

Must go - am going into one, hope you are all ok
xx Sorry

Oh bewilderbeast I feel for you. DD was in SCBU for a week with RDS & TTN and I couldn't hold or feed her. I don't know how but the nurses in SCBU always seemed to know exactly how to put the knife in - you're told off for doing things wrong, for not producing enough milk, for turning up at the wrong time etc etc. I had to bite my tongue so many times. They all have the empathy of a rubber band. Ignore them and concentrate on baby. It will all be forgotten soon when she's out and at home with you.

Hi All -

My oh my the hormones are playing havoc on here are they not? Sending you all hormone settling vibes!

My DD awoke at 3.30am AGAIN this morning and wouldn't settle until 8am. I am bushed! Having visitors today as well so hoping that the stimulation will make her sleep tonight.

It must be soo hard when your LO is in hospital - hormones all mad, nursery all set up and no baby to help you settle your feelings. Thinking of you.XX Shame on the staff for making you feel worse and putting you down.

No routine for us yet - how about the rest of you?

Experienced Mummys - is it normal for babies to kick legs/arms madly whilst falling asleep and eyes to roll, muscles to jerk etc etc. My LO looks like she is constantly fighting sleep and cries out in her sleep and seems to sleep for short periods with her eyes open?

Have a good day all.

Rumpel, that is normal. Some babies will apparently settle despite the involuntary gymnastics - though mine never did. Things that can help (if they need help) are: swaddling/ rolled-up towel bent around the shoulders and head/sleeping on the side.

hi all. did try catching up on thread but time limited so had to skim!
bewilderbeast/justers-thinking of you as must be tough.
hi madamplatypus.

we had a dreadful evening of screaming/fussing last night. the only good thing about the constant crying was that ds was so nackered he slept from 11pm-5.30am. fed and then slept til 9.15am.

breastfeeding is a full time tough job.

gingeme/girlygale-i feel really guilty dd is not getting the attention she needs but what can i do when her brother screams/feeds all through her bedtime routine. i miss her and our time together.

keep reminding myself it does get easier and a routine will emerge in a couple of weeks

Hi Justers/Wilderbeast- hope everything is going ok for you.

I take back the 'I'm in a routine' statement!
LO has decided to make her own little routine- I'll wake up and demand food whenever I want!

gemmitygem- your list of 'will I ever do again?' is spot on

Been shopping to Bluewater for the first time today since LO born- great to get out and spend some money. Everybody is going Christmas mad. I've started the Christmas shopping at last.

Bought a grobag for LO and I'm still waiting for the cot to be moved into my bedroom. DP is great at avoiding the task. Can't believe Samantha is 4 weeks old already- time flies.

Agree re f/t bfing - typing 1-handedly while feeding at mo! Have mastered reading and feeding at same time tho - possible with cushions Haven't been drinking enough tho - felt v wobbly last night and had to retreat to bed.

at the hassle you're going through bewilderbeast: hope you get your LO home soon.

Hi Justers: hope the jaundice disappears soon.

Routine? Ha!

Whiffy aka Pelvicdoors: respect at starting a masters. What's the subject?

Sending good wishes for a good night's sleep...

bewilderbeast, don't let anybody make you feel bad about the breastfeeding!!!!! You sound as though you are being an absolutely wonderful mummy. The midwife should have known better than to make stupid remarks.

I haven't had too many problems with DS yet except for general potty training regression and more challenging behaviour - sure it will get worse when he realises that DD isn't a temporary visitor (she is only a week old). I am getting quite worried (in advance!!!) about the whole routine thing. We never really got the hang of naps in cot with DS, but I really want to get them established with DD. Also, I don't think I will be able to spend an hour every night getting DD off to sleep as I did with DS. Anyway, I am getting way ahead of myself as my main problem at the moment is keeping DD awake for longer than a couple of minutes when she is feeding.

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milliee, have you tried swaddling? with a bit over their forehead as well so it's over the top of their head and under the chin, and wrapped up tight.. I find it does stop my LO crying even with colic. I also have a little heated cushion full of cherry pips and put it beside him with one corner over his tummy, which seems to help...

anyway hope he's stopped by now!

poor you milliisounds truly vile night, from experience at work, i think it's colic when they keep bringing their knees up, have a high pitched cry and improve when they burp, also typically starts around 1 month to 6 weeks. they can also get blue tinge around their mouth if it's really bad but don't often see that. my friend who has triplets who all had colic said he swore by laying them all on individual hot water bottles on their tummies. colic does respond well to osteopathy as well. we usually have a big improvement within 1-3 treatments by looking at the nerves that go to the diaphragm and gut, they can often get pinched at the top of the back of the neck.
everything i have experience of at work turns out to be so much worse when it's your own baby, i am going to be going back to work a much more humble lady. my admiration for mothers has gone through the roof since this malarky started

ps is anyone finding that their lo has more teddy bears than the no of days its been on the planet? we are going to drown under a mountain of them soon and that's after we told a few people no teddies. hope now has 11 and she's 10 days old!!!!

Had a bit of a breast feeding break through yesterday, contorversially thanks to the use of a bottle and my sneaking my baby off into a side room, locking the door and not coming out until we'd managed a little bit of decent breast feeding. I am bloody well determined that those nurses will not stop me having the start to life that I want for my son! Thanks for all the support I feel a lot less bleak than I did in my last post.

Hi All

Whiffy - you are truly mad starting a masters - either that or you are a genius!! I am on a leave of absence form Uni at the 'mo until my LO is a bit older. Started last year but only managed 2 out of 6 units as I was sooo sick and it is quite a journey to my Uni. Good luck!

Poor Millee - it is horrid when they cry/scream and you don't know why. It is okay during the day but so lonely and hard at night when you are exhausted and just want to sleep. Bad thoughts enter the brain unwittingly and then you feel like a very bad mum . Read that back pedalling their legs is also good for colic. Hope it gets better soon.

My DH is off to wet Amber's head today. As is always the case we both have been invited out on the same day (having gone nowhere for ages). So Amber and I are off to an old work reunion tonight for a wee while. I am feeling much more human today as she slept from 11pm to 4.40am then from 5.30am to 8am - WHOOPEE! Saying thankful prayers all morning.

Martha - only 2 teddies for my LO - thankfully as no room in our house! I little one I keep in her pram and 1 bigger one. I have a teddy I bought before falling PG which has a lavender wheat bag in it's tummy, which you heat up in the microwave, it's lovely.

Have a good Saturday everyone - probably best if none of us mentions the r-word, as just when you think you are getting somewhere it goes awry!!

Good news re the bf Bewilderbeast - hpoe it continues

Things seem to be settling down here, so might try making a note of when W is awake and asleep in the hope that he might be settling into a pattern. Also planning to head out today as the weather is gorgeous

My sympathies on the colic Milliee: W tends to cry a lot in the evenings as well. A dummy sometimes helps, or swaddling, but haven't hit on a single magic solution. Laying him on his tummy seems to soothe him tho.

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Millee, I have every sympathy: as 1st time mum I also feel frustrated and so anxious when LO cries: you want to help them but don't know how, it's awful! It sounds like you're doing brilliantly in general: I might try the olive oil massage on Darius.

Hope everyone else is ok. D is 4 weeks today, can't believe it! DH is in Kyrgyzstan.. so not much help there.

Right, time for the simpsons (I can't believe my idea of luxury is now a 30 min tv programme (although have learned to read and breastfeed, almost, but the most intellectual book I can handle at the moment is 'It shouldn't happen to a vet' (It's a great book, by the way!)

Good evening ladies. Had a break through with the moses basket. Edwards loving it now and I only bring him to bed for his morning feed about 6am. Ive been putting him to bed about 10 after a good feed. He then wakes about 2 feeds till 3then wakes about 6-7. Fantastic Im actualy getting some sleep. Mw came Fri thought it would be her last visit but Edwards lost some more weight. A bit too much for her liking. Shes visiting again Fri and if he hasnt gained shes gonna send him for tests for a urine test. Hes been feeding so well today hopefuly all will be ok Monday. Anyway off to bed soon. Hope all is ok with you al xx

Bewilderbeast - excellent! Well done on getting a breastfeed going, and on taking matters into your own hands and doing what felt right to you.

IME (OK, started as a tip from my mum) blue around the mouth, is often a sign that the baby has wind and needs help bringing.

We;ve just been to a firework display. Ds2 slept through it! No doubt because he was strapped tight to his daddy's chest . I am now resolutely ignoring the cries while dh tries to settle him to sleep. The only things we've found work to get ds2 to sleep are rocking him to sleep in our arms, or sticking a boob in his mouth - neither of which are long-term solutions. Or even short-term solutions [insert bleary-eyed emoticon - surely MN should have one of those!].

Hi all, baby very gd last night,she slept from 10pm til 4;30,fed and then back to sleep til 9am.
I have been reading the BF threads and getting lots of tips,so its getting better,nipples not so sore and managing to express about 4oz a day.I do still feel a bit chained to the baby though,one of my friends is very depressed and i cant get out to see her without baby,which makes it difficult when they both start crying,but i dont have enough expressed milk supplies to leave baby behind.

Totally agree about the night times being lonely. Toby seems to have his awake time at night and it's really getting hard. DH and i are splitting the night with him staying up til 12/1 and then i take over from 3 ish. Toby will usually settle well between one of the feeds but then can be awake after the others. oh how we long for 4 hour gaps, he is 2 weeks today when did it get better for everyone else?

I'm also feeling a bit fed up today as dh goes away for a week next monday and i'm really starting to worry about how i will cope on my own.