November 2012 - Halloween costumes anyone?

[StuntNun]

Previous thread: www.mumsnet.com/Talk/postnatal_clubs/2179741-November-2012-The-nights-are-drawing-in-again

Good luck today Eliza. Pass, what you said was perfect.

Congrats Isles!

((( Stunt ))). No idea what to say but perhaps having an objective third party considering the impact of various things will help your DH reconsider his approach and his willingness to engage in strategies to manage things.

Anyone have any experience of a DS getting thrush on the genital area? S has been saying his willy hurts - for a while I assumed he was getting it caught as he likes to take his own nappy off joy and isnt always totally successful. But he said it a lot over the weekend and asked for cream so DH took him to the doc today who diagnosed thrush and said it was quite common for nappy wearing boys. Don't recall anyone else mentioning it thus far though?

He moves to the 2-3s room at nursery soon and it was this move which prompted DD's potty training so am hoping we will be ready to remove nappies in due course.

None of my three ever had thrush Zamboni, that must be sore for the poor lad. I'm not even thinking about toilet training until next summer but then J hasn't shown any signs of readiness at all. Are any of the boys potty trained yet?

I was going to leave it till next summer stunt is much easier in summer and I find leaving it as late as possible sticking my head in the sand is the best way. I tried DS1 at 2 1/2 disaster, left him till he was touching on three and he really was done, wees p in two days and poos in about a week and a half.

However if they are in nursery and they are happy to help it is v different .

A lovely wild day here. O was at nannys this morning so I started watching Twin Peaks while I was sorting laundry, ironing and mending, and the wind really howled outside, it was fab.

zamboni o has had thrush. Especially after antibiotics. She now gets probiotic tablets/liquid every time she is on medicine, plus i use canesten and sudocream. It's pretty horrid, she is very itchy when she has it.

Not planning on potty training till summer either.

I am not sure he is ready yet - he likes to talk about wees and poos but has not wanted to even sit on the potty and only really talks about things after the event - not yet saying he needs to go before. I hadnt intended for DD to be trained so early - she moved nursery rooms at 23 months and S was then 8 weeks old, so was a little when nursery said she was keen as that's what the other children are doing, and was I going to do it at home too?

But if he does show an interest and nursery want him to get into the routine of trying and are happy to change pants x 1000 while he learns, that is fine by me. We'll see, and hope the thrush clears up asap.

My childminder asked me if I minded her toilet training DS2 when he was 2.5. I said that would be fine and went home and made this face

As in it's much easier when someone else does all the work for you.

Am back. The consultant didn't think I was a time wasting loon. In fact he was brilliant. I just went through E's history from start to finish. He said what bits stand out as a concern for him. He has a few possibility's of what could be causing the problem. She had a skin prick test there and then and is currently wearing a patch to be removed on Friday. She also will be having an endoscopy on friday 14th November. Was so nice to meet a dr who not only knows what they are talking about but are willing to investigate and take my concerns seriously. So feeling very relieved.

stunt when is DH due back?

Eliza, that's brilliant news. So glad your concerns are being taken seriously.

WRT potty training - O has started telling me when he has done a poo, although 50% of the time he actually hasn't... Will think about it next summer, unless nursery bring it up before then.

Great news Eliza, let's hope nothing untoward crops up on the skin test or endoscopy but at least she's getting checked out.

DH is back on Saturday but then I'm away for a week with the kids going to visit my parents. J isn't going to know who his daddy is at the end of all this. Still he only has one more business trip this year so far anyway so after October we can settle down for J's birthday and for Christmas. Not to mention the excitement of baby scans. With three boys already I don't know how I'm going to wait until the 10th December to find out what flavour the next one will be.

I have a feeling it's a girl. But that I was wrong with yw .

Fire engine! Fire engine! Right outside my house!! There were two but now there is one. Obviously the fact that my neighbour's house appears to require the fire brigade is awful but every cloud

I was about to say "they don't look too troubled" but now the fire brigade car has turned up. Other neighbour took the family in.

Lucky we live so close to the fire station

Stunt sorry you are having such a difficult time. I guess as you say it could be a good thing that ss are involved as it forces the issue a bit. Your DH sounds very bloody minded though. I really hope he takes it seriously and learns to compromise and calm the fuck down a bit.

Eliza sounds like a great appointment, glad they took it seriously and are investigating further.

Pass I love your excitement tempered with realisation your neighbours house might be on fire! That would totally be my reaction too. Obviously I hope all is well.

We escaped from the park just as the heavens opened. It's not been bad here just v windy with a couple of rainstorms. Hope everyone has not been too blown away!

Family back in the house worth kitchen window wise open - cooker fire probably.

stunt I have pondered your issue all day actually as it is such a hard one. What I wonder is what your DH's impetus is to change? If he doesn't think there is a need then this in itself is the issue. There are a great number of positive parenting groups which are accessible through sw though so this could be part of their task is to bring him on board. I have no idea what your equivalent might be but ours is called Family and Community Support Team. I have worked with them a number of times to support families and one parent struggling to see the need to change can be a major catalyst for them to become involved.

Whatever happens, you know you can rely on us.

Boy or girl I just got a little flutter. This baby likes caffeine! What a magical feeling.

stunt masses of hugs. I would write more but my connection here is wobbly. I think it's a boy. Though for some reason I hope it is a girl.

eliza I am delighted for you that your consultant appointment went well, that he is taking you seriously and that he is interested in what has happened. All this was well overdue imho as you know but better late than never right?

Having a lovely time. Rained this morning, v windy, but not too windy that the girls couldn't have pony rides this afternoon. In the most amazing equestrian centre I have ever seen. Wow. When I have proper internet again I will rave about it. For days. It was beautiful.

Do you know what I think it's actually a really complicated issue with my DH. His dad is a textbook emotional abuser and having seen the flack his mum takes I can't believe that their children wouldn't be affected. His mum had a narcissist mother and an alcoholic father and spent her childhood being neglected and her adulthood being held up unfavourably against her overachieving siblings. I've been reading up on the effects of abuse and I see clear signs in DH for example the secrecy (his parents don't know about this pregnancy), constantly wanting to please them even at the expense of his own family. But more worrying is his lack of affection to our children. I feel like he thinks he's a good dad so long as he buys them stuff and takes them out on adventures. Which of course they love but it's Disney dad stuff without necessarily putting the effort into their physical and emotional wellbeing. But the namecalling and shouting is a recent development that I had put down to all the stress with J's issues. God knows they were serious enough to send me off the rails and he's struggling with his sucky job and all the travelling he has to do. Realistically now SS are involved he's going to have to get it together or we risk losing the children.

Crumbs Stunt that's a lot to be dealing with on top of 3 kids, pregnancy, business trips and DHs job news. Have or and I regularly take my hat off to you. We're always here for you. Your loyalty to your DH is commendable, and I hope I'm not speaking out of turn, but I'd rather lose my partner before any of my kids ended up in the care system - I hope that risk is enough for him to reconsider some of his behaviours. You're such a cracking Mummy and do so much, really emotionally engaging with his kids could help your DH get over his childhood issues.

You are such an emotionally intelligent woman, stunt.

My mum's mum was physically and emotionally abusive and still to this day stands by her behaviour. She 100% believes that a mothers job is to feed and dress her children - the rest they do alone. She beat them and flushed various heads down toilets as well as the constant belittling and starving of love. My mum's 5 siblings all dealt with this differently from abandoning their own newborns to adopting full on earth mother tactics.

My point is that I do understand that being the child of an abused child is terribly hard and I believe it impacts on every parenting decision you make.

You are a team and together you have to work through these demons but the crux of it is that he needs to accept that his behaviour is damaging and needs to stop.

stunt I remember you talking about the abuse your DH suffered before. I really have no words to add. You are bloody amazing. I really hope that DH is able to recognise the effect his behaviour has on you and the children. Hugs x

For those interested, the condition the consultant mentioned E might have is called Eosinophilic Esophagitis. True to form I have consulted Dr Google and it sounds exactly like E. And the good bit is that it is entirely manageable by dietary change. Of course it may not be this. Hopefully we will find out in a month or so.

I've also looked at Dr Google Eliza. Great news if it can be controlled by diet. Did they test for coeliac as that is listed as possibly connected?

Evening all, just a quickie to say I'm still here! I'll catch up tomorrow, have been really poorly but am ok ish now :)

msJ She was tested for this back when we were in hospital.

kyz Glad you are feeling betterish. Hope you continue to feel better.

Ah sorry Eliza, I did think that might have been the case. It will be good if you can get some answers though if this diagnosis holds.