November 2012 - Roll call!

[StuntNun]

Previous thread: www.mumsnet.com/Talk/postnatal_clubs/2109948-November-2012-Bring-on-the-summer-fun

Calling all lurkers! If you're reading but finding life too hectic to keep up then please check in and give us a brief update.

If no. 2 is back to back again, fuck 22 hours of 60 seconds contraction followed by 60 seconds break. 30 contractions an hour, every hour from 2 hours in. Bollocks to that again. Epidural and wake me up when its time to push. Ithankyou.....

Grr. Having an epidural is scary. It's a fucking huge needle in your spine. It hurts too. I don't mind needles, but I know people who have had ELCS and other ops under general because an epidural sounds scary. I'm scareder of generals tbh, but each to their own.

And why not? I fricking hate the attitude to childbirth over there. It's inhumane and I shudder to think how many babies and mums are put at risk because of the pressure to do things without pain relief/surgery/etc etc. And that's having survived a scary post op complication.

Erm, realises that might not please a lot of you but it's weird reading the angst on mn about such things and seeing fb statuses such as pig described. I have always been pro choice to elcs and to have adequate pain relief. It never once crossed my mind to worry about not doing it "right". But it's cultural. 90% of women over here have epidurals. (Our intervention stats /damage/ELCS or EMCS aren't all that different either).

Erm. Rant over.

pass 3 days. Test in 3 days. But agree periods mess up quickly with pill omissions.

pig well done on getting through the last couple of days and looking forward to quiche celebration of results.

I should say I didn't avoid an epidural last time out of any sense of wanting to do it naturally. As soon as I knew it was a dry (all my waters went before my first contraction) back to back birth I gave up the natural birth plan - they physically couldn't do epidurals on the island so it was either labour with gas and air, have a CS under general and not see my baby born or have drugs to prolong labour so I'd last the wait for the air ambulance to Aberdeen. The first option seemed least worst.

Which is an understandable choice to make I think. Despite my misgivings about vb I think I was more scared of ga back when I had DD1 and would have chosen the same, believe it or not.

But you shouldn't feel you have to justify any decision you make re childbirth. The result is a baby. There should be no pressure on anyone for it to happen in any which way or by any means.

Pr how was the curry :s hope it was nice.
Pass we have always had ff spoons in our spice jars. I guess because we could cut the spoon short and keep in jar.

I'm all for epidurals. With H I didn't experience contractions. But I did with A. I wasn't screaming or anything. Just hated it. Felt like it was taking over my mind I couldn't think straight. I can't describe it. Lots of GnA. Then came the epidural. I had a clear mind when A was born. I was happy and calm. I can't imagine it any other way.

Fh brothers all gave me a lecture about avoiding epidural. Partly because of my bad back. I just nodded and smiled. What I wanted to say was. If you knew you were going to be hit in the balls with a hammer ever 5mins for 12 hours wouldn't you want pain relief? And generally this is my thought. I hate the argument of it's happened naturally for thousands of years. But quite honestly they used to pull tooth out with no sedation. Do we still do it the old way now? Nope.

Morning!

bp and everyone else who has said the same, those fb updates really bug me too. Since when did it become normal to add a comment about the dad being proud because the labour was natural and pain relief free?

I don't suppose it is intentional but to me it feels like childbirth is turning into yet another fb brag and a competition for the women when all it should be is about being, hopefully, blessed with a beautiful healthy baby.

Should my Dh be less proud of me because a) I've had an epidural, gas and air with my first labour and b) c-sections with all 3 babies?

Every labour is different e.g. My babies have all been back to back plus my pelvis too small for the babies to fit out. Luckily I don't particularly care how the baby comes out but it would be terrible if people were to avoid pain relief / intervention when it is necessary because of some misplaced idea of being more virtuous because of this.

Rant over (for now!)

yw, that childminder sounds fab.

pass, how would you feel if you are pregnant? Would it be a good thing or a bad one? Either way, I hope the test result is the one that you be happiest with.

msJ, love the eggo bingo shout! Also, know what you mean about the real life v mn thing. I tend to look at the pinned post on fb to find out who's who if I'm not sure.

vq congrats on the amazing weight loss!

I had an epidural with O - I refused to let them ramp up the induction drugs without one, but I actually do feel like a failure for it. XSIL had a gas and air labour 12 days before me and I do feel like I am judged for it.

I decided to go pain killer free at labour, stupidest decision of my life. I had a 25hr back to back labour and I screamed in agony. Next time I will beg for epidural at the start of contractions.

If I had not been given the guarantee of an ELCS after DD1s birth, she would have remained an only child

Eliza hope the 30th goes well and DH gets in the spirit!

BP well done! Enjoy an exam free day!

Pass hoping the result is what you would like it to be!

Jupiter I too had hoped to be preggers by now! Good luck!

I had to rewrite my piece on birthing several times and then just delete it. What I went through in them trying to turn him in between my contractions was barbaric as DH described it and I only said yes as I felt like if failed to not have a 'normal' delivery and had ended up with an emcs. They had missed he was upside down at 8 appointments with 3 different people so I was actually their fault and I could have had a c section earlier under calm conditions had they noticed.

The pressure on this and feeding make me so angry.

My mum always when she mentions my births or anyone elses always always goes into great detail as to why a c section was necessary. It bugs me that people feel the need to justify it.

When a "friend" snidely asked me if I had been too posh to push I just said yes, that's right :o

It really is no-one's business and it makes me so sad that some of you felt you would fail for not doing it "right". Ditto for feeding and the hell some of you went through with that in the early days.

The only people who have been affected by how the births and feeding went are us. The babies all seem fine. It's a shitty shitty system that makes women feel so awful and doubt themselves so much at an already stressful time.

GT yes it was good thanks. A bit hot for the girls but they ate a bit earlier anyway (they requested pasta and apples and tomatoes for dinner last night!)

Last day of nursery today for three weeks. We're going away for a few days on Monday then two weeks of forest nursery half time for DD1 and toilet training for LO. I promise not to bore you all with that but at nursery she is using the potty between nappy changes quite happily so they are v much sure that the time is ripe for the challenge.

I'll update on that in 3 weeks and let you know how it went :)

pig how are you going to celebrate?

bp I suppose there are two sides to that. I agree it gets my shackles up when people say how well some one did because they went drug free or didn't shout. Having a baby is a tough experience and however we do it we are superstars. But, he is overcome by the emotion of having a baby, can't believe how his wife managed her pain and is proud of her. Probably he would have said the same if she had had drugs and screamed the place down.

I will come back and catch up. I am dead on my feet after the guests this week as me and the boys went walking with them. Not to far but yesterday DS1 did a 3 mile walk, pretty much smiling all the way, now there was a proud mummy. And on Wed we walked all morning, don't know how far then I took them to the beach in the afternoon. ( the husband had gone up the mountains and was gone all day) but then obviosuly I don't get a sit down as I have to come back, sort out boys, cook a meal etc then leap out of bed In The morning and prepare breakfast. I am properly shattered. Though I think they have been my fave guests so far actually.

Oh and yes, whatever I still go round justifying my c section and my emergency forceps delivery. Is stupid. I shouldn't have to but I do.

Good morning.

AF is here! Naughty AF. It has never ever been late before. Ah well.

Giving birth is intensely emotional and intensely private. I do think that the rise of programmes like OBEM and the over sharing endemic within FB means that we all give details that no one else has the right to know which then means people get to judge.

pass well at least you know now. Naughty AF.

jupiter Happy birthday for tomorrow. Do you have anything fun lined up?

Wanda I was going to say something much like what you said, but I was scared I was going to get flamed. I think for a man seeing his partner/wife give birth its such an amazing thing that whatever way it comes out, just the fact that it comes out is an amazing thing and he's just sharing that. BP did say that he prob would have proud whatever birth. Do people really judge others because of their birth choice? Its great that we do have a choice. I had a vbac with H but could have as easily had a elcs and I would have been fine with that too. Its not anyones business but ones own and you really shouldn't have to justify anything when it comes to your own body.

I'm on the tww .

Eeeek. I couldn't decide whether to share this. But I'm excited and am no good with secrets!

I didn't realise you'd had a c/s and forceps wanda. I'm hopeful i'll finally get no intervention on the next time around. Bit worried about the old PF/epis site though!

I had a Cs for DD1 as she was breach, so the remaining three were VBACs which my American obstetrician friend pulled face at. DS1 was a really rough emergency forceps as he was pretty much stuck so it was a spinal block and whisk me in for theatre in 5 mins job. They were quite rough and it took me a long time to recover emotionally and physically from that.

Of the other 2 one was extremely drug fuelled of my face birth and one was gas and air just used hypnobirthing.

So there you are, have thousands of kids and you can experience every scenario!

How exciting det, I assume this is a conscious decision then?

Exciting Detective :)

Paisley you wouldn't have been flamed. But yes, people really do judge. My MIL said I took the easy option having an ELCS. About 5 days after the birth I asked DH for a paracetamol and winced as I sat on the sofa and she said "it can't still hurt it's almost been a week."

Showed her my would and she said I'd been butchered, it shouldn't need to be any longer than 10cm across. :o I reminded her that a fully grown baby came out of there and yes it still hurt and would do for a few weeks. She seemed to think I was exaggerating. I only winced ffs :o

detective eeek, keeping my fingers cross

My three deliveries were all different too. If I have another then it's a mandatory ELCS for me and to be honest I feel relieved at having the choice taken away from me.

Yep Wanda if successful this would give me the April EDD I wanted. I couldn't decide on a gap in the end. So am letting nature decide. If successful the next 3 cycles then great. If not, will wait til next year :)

I'm keeping my fingers crossed . While simultaneously shitting my pants.

Stunt we offer vbac after more than 2 cs, I think it's becoming common now. We are by no means a forward thinking unit so I'm assuming its being offered in most units now.

Although I'm not sure that's entirely helpful for you. FWIW most obstetricians don't actually seem to want to offer it.

Good afternoon quiche. Haven't had a chance to catch up properly yet but thought I would swing by to say hello.

Lots of baby talk so here's some from me. Not entirely sure when my period was due after miscarrying last month but thought I would take a test today as it's been five weeks and it was positive! I'm not allowing myself to get excited yet and DP has heard nothing further about his disciplinary so lots of stress in our household at the moment. Worst case scenario is DP will be a stay at home dad for a while and I will have to return to work full time. It's just the not knowing what's going on that is the hardest thing.

Good luck det. I'm guessing you are actively trying now?

Epidurals - I was very anti until I was facing a 55 hour back to back labour. Now I think they are amazing things and would definitely go for one again next time if I felt I needed it.

gt that's a long day for a little one. Might take him a few weeks to settle properly.

C had his second session at nursery today without us and had a good day apparently. That's all the info I got from my dad who picked him up but his key worker writes a diary for him each day detailing what he's done so will have a read when I get home. Last week he sobbed when he was dropped off so this is an improvement.

I had similar issues to you actually if you remember, I had a damaged sacrem and I was borderline blood transfusion after DS1 and was terrified when I was pregnant O that the same would happen again. So these are my hints and tips for you even though you know everything anyway

I read the Marie Mongan hypnobirthing book and borrowed a cd to do some of the relaxation techniques at home which I then did use.

What I really learnt from the book was about how the contractions should bring the baby down so it might be good to wait for a while after you are dilated before you push.i told the midwives this and they said they would let me go half an hour ( I was fully dilated at this stage) which I thought was fair enough.

I saw a reflexologist from about 30 weeks ish and I told her I was scared

I used an Australian flowers remedy ( like Bach flowers) for fear that the reflexologist made up for me.

So those are my tips.

Exciting detective

Perse so many congratulations that's awesome news

Onwards to next month of trying for me. Am more chilled about it than I thought I would be