December 2012 tantrums galore and they're not even two yet!

[SpottyTeacakes]

Hope everyone finds this and I haven't doubled up!

I've got really bad back pain and ds is spinning on his zebra crying. No idea why!

Had a lovely day at the wedding, the couple have stayed together through some tough times and today were relaxed and happy. Long may it continue.

Stacks i also think thats a lovely thing to write also.

WL, i'm glad you had a lovely day/night. Some couples are obviously just meant to be together. I hope me and DP are like that.

Help i think my DD is broken she is just screaming and screaming. Fine one minute, screaming the next. DP's patience has already gone i've had to send him out. Mine is really close to going i cannot figure out what is wrong with her.

hales calpol, check clothes are comfortable, food/drink, get her out and distracted?

Looks like we're on day two of playing in the cot instead of sleeping WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH

Oops dropped off my TIO

Hales hope h has calmed down.

I gave up and put her in her cot, she kicked off for abit but then calmed down and has got out much less grumpy. I think she needed a rest but not a sleep.

Maybe she got over stimulated Hales? I remember once when O was very small.we were with a lot of friends and he was having a happy but very exciting time - suddenly changed to uncontrollable crying which took an hour and a half, a dark room and skin to skin to calm down.

stacks your post makes me happy. Have been worrying about the change for O when the New Small arrives quite a bit. It helps that he's already used to dh having a whole daddy day with him every Friday, so hopefully he'll not feel too shunned but I remember how all consuming a newborn's needs are. Nutella we're right here with you if you just need people to talk to/at.

wl glad the wedding was good - I love weddings in general, so far (touch wood,) I've never been to one where it wasn't just a lovely happy day. Also pidj woo for yours soon! Definitely need pictures!

Thanks everyone

Stacks I can totally understand and identify with what you say. I felt so awful towards the end of my pregnancy and relied on DH so much I really felt like I was being a rather crap mum to DS. Now DD is here that feeling is continuing, because I'm bf for what some days seems to be all day.

I find it really frustrating and I worry that I'm damaging my relationship with DS, which took so long for me to enjoy. But I also feel like I'm not binding with DD because I resent how much attention she needs.

I know this is mostly just in my head, but I just can't help it or stop it. I see my therapist on Tuesday (thank goodness) and I know it will be so good to get this all off my chest and have someone sort of understand it for me. I'm considering a swap to FF (for my sanity) but I feel guilty about that too.

Yesterday was a great day. DD slept between feeds and when she fed she fed really well. Today it feels like all I've done is feed her & try to soothe her.

Argh. I hope to stop being a giant whinge one day

We don't mind Nut it's what we're here for

nutella everything you're feeling is completely normal and understandable. Do whatever you need to do and be kind to yourself. Ff is not a bad choice if it works for you, but don't make a rush decision. Could DH give her a bottle once in a while when you've had enough? The constant feeding isn't always about nutrition so she might still be demanding if ff - does she like a sling, would DH wear her without a shirt on so she gets skin to skin, or you with no shirt and a dummy? Can you involve ds in her care? Dd1 was never excited about dd2 but loved to help bath her and choose her outfits and give her the odd bottle.
Vent as much as you please

Nutella Please try not to worry about it. They're both so resilient. DD was older when A was born, and she really doesn't remember much from when A was really little.

And I feel guilty now, because I know I tell DD off for more and am them nice to A, just because he's younger.

Tonight is night 1 of trying A with the side of his cot off. I'm not sure if DH's patience will last the night ..... and I'm pretty sure A's choice of a Zhu Zhu hamster is a poor choice!

Introducing a bottle at a set time of day like bedtime shouldn't mess too much with breastfeeding, your supply will adjust accordingly. Could you maybe get into a routine that dh gives her a bedtime bottle while reading to ds while you get 20 minutes or so to yourself? Nice bonding moment for daddy, hopefully an oasis of calm for him after a stressful day at work because you don't have an inordinately more stressful time at all oh no nuh uh

I think the others have good suggestions Nutella- combination feeding could be helpful. I also like the idea that if DH gives DD a bottle at certain times then maybe DS could have some time with mummy uninterrupted? And if DS napping etc then you get a bit of time out..its very important not to neglect yourself :)

This constant feeding phase will hopefully pass soon. God i remember it was so tough!!!

Good luck beasty! Ours were banned from taking zhu zhus to bed after they kept rolling on them and waking me up.
I managed a couple of hours housework today - sad but true I feel much better but still a bit frustrated that I didn't get crossed off my overly ambitious list.

Surely it's a given that parents of multiple children feel guilty towards one if them a lot if the time? I do, but I know that in the end I am doing my absolute best (and with kids your best is never enough) and they all get plenty of everything at the end of the day. They don't all get the same all the time but more or less depending on who's need is greatest etc.

Well he slept until falling out of bed at 5am, then both DC woke around 7. DD shut the stairgate to keep him in their room, and when we sneaked a look they were both lying on their tummies on A's bed, with DD teaching him to colour in!

It was so sweet. Even if his pale blue sheet looks as though a pack of highlighters exploded on it, and A has pen on his face, hands and legs!

T is very challenging atm (lovely and funny too) - so determined and furious if she doesn't get her own way. Desperate for boobage and it's almost impossible to stop her! She insists on sitting on my lap for meals and wants to be naked often so poo and wee on the floor daily.

beasty that's so cute!

We just went to TGI's for lunch. A was horrible. Insisted on sitting on my knee the entire time; picked at my food then sat each mouthful out; left his own food, and then rounded the whole thing off by tipping his pretty full plate (with ketchup) down the back of my leg and onto the floor.

The staff were lovely!

And now DD is singing Let It Go to is. I didn't realise it had the words "it's time to see what I can do, to touch a willy and wave through"

My laugh didn't go down well

Love it beasty - think that's better than our version! T is a monster and insists on eating every meal on my lap.
Dds had a great time jumping in big muddy puddles today - stripped them all off at the front door, threw everything in the wash and put them in all in the bath.

We did puddle jumping too, and R made friends with a bin lorry driver (didn't know they worked bank holidays but he beeped and waved and everything!) and a random old dude walking across the park! hope we made his day he was carrying 12 cans of beer at 10am and seemed a little erm unloved shall we say

We had to separate the DC tonight. A carried on being fowl, constantly trying to escape the bedroom etc. But he did go to sleep in his own bed eventually.

Puddle jumping sounds fun!

I agree that the puddle jumping sounds fun, H would love that.

WL and Beasty i think something must be in the air, the last 3 days have been horrendous with H. I never knew temper tantrums could get so bad. Saturday resulted in her complete refusal to get dressed and she had to miss a friends party i felt awful cancelling as knew it cost £10 per head

Sunday resulted in temper tanrtrums all day and again we had a huge problem getting her dressed. When she finally got dressed i took her the beach again. DSD came with us and told me on our way home she had nits. I had to de-nit us last night and wash everything today.

Today has been one temper tantrum aftet another. We are starting to have real problems getting her dressed and when we finally suceed shes is naked quite quickly after. Fine if we're on a beach, not so fine in the street.

hales if it's warm enough let her be naked! Keep a blanket handy in the car maybe. DH and I were having a similar convo this eve as T insists on being naked quite a lot (only at home so far) and then had accidents on the floor. My take us that short if a straight jacket I cannot stop her from taking her trousers and the nappy off so I don't even fight it, and just clean up when necessary. Save my energy for something I can win. T will sometimes agree to clothes if I offer her a this or that option but she's most likely to demand her ladybird costume or vile Snow White dress. Dd1 was obsessed with wearing her Santa outfit at this age and spent most of the summer in it, hat and all! We got a lot of comments.
Hoorah for puddles! (And washing machines)

We've obviously been lucky with DS. He's one of the youngest on here though I think, so maybe we have the demon child yet to emerge. He's never tried to get himself undressed, thankfully. He's started resisting getting dressed a bit, but distraction has worked so far (he goes on autopilot while watching Peppa on my phone). Our only problem just now is kicking legs when trying to change him. All his other tantrums are quite short lived and not that disruptive.

However I've bought a book recently recommended by the HV called "Toddler Taming". I wanted a book about toddler development and when you can expect certain behaviours of them (like understanding consequences etc). Not sure if it's that kind of book, as I'm not that far through it. It's interesting though, basically trying to set expectations about what's "normal" behaviour. So you don't expect them to respond to reasoning or bargaining at 12 months old. I was interested to read that 50% of mothers said their child didn't eat enough, and 74% said they ate the "wrong" things (in an old American study from the 50's). Makes me think maybe my expectations are off a bit, and it's normal for me to think he's not eating enough.

The reason I started writing that was to say that the book suggests tantrums etc start properly at about 20 months. We're all at about that age now right?

DD seems to have fallen asleep. Time for me to try too. Night.

He fell out of bed 3 times, DD woke twice. I got no sleep between 1 and 4 and feel awful. They both got a lie in!!

Hales will H choose her own clothes and wear them? She sounds a bit like DD.... even now she'll do things like refuse to wear her shoes and I have to make her walk to/from the car in bare feet. And we get through all sorts of outfit changes in a day, and tights or socks come off because they make her hot and all sorts.

It will get better!