November 2012 - Bring on the summer fun

[StuntNun]

Previous thread: www.mumsnet.com/Talk/postnatal_clubs/2096331-November-2012-All-our-babies-are-18-months-where-has-the-time-gone

Ha ha vq

Definitely not in my case.

Zamboni I totally agree. I hate the 'boys will be boys' attitude and 'my little asbo' t-shirts. All bar one of J's closest buddies are girls and they usually play with exactly the same toys (though in subtly different ways sometimes) but today he was such a boy stereotype.

There's just been a wee girl on c5 in a 'beauty and a brat' T-shirt.

I blame nursery for reinforcing several stereotypes. Sometimes the girls only play with dollies. And sometimes the girls only look at catalogues and pick stuff out. DD1 picked out a princess rucksack for school. That was not my fault.

It's annoying but am not going to make a big deal out of it, other than giving whichever nursery worker who tells me the girls played with dollies a massive face and a snide "and what did the boys do?" comment.

Feminism is mistrusted in France. Misunderstood, despite being a French word.

Can I change the subject and give you all a massively important ageing pussy update?

DH contacted me at work yesterday saying he was very worried. Puking and pissing everywhere - pussy not DH. Wouldn't eat and no purring. He took her to the vet who was concerned and took bloods and have a preemptive ab shot.

Turns out she had a massive bacterial infection in her bladder and was struggling to fight it. Poor wee soul was stressed because she essentially had cystitis and was ill as buggery. Considering she is 13 this was hard going. Since the treatments she is like her old self again thankfully. This morning she even got on my knee with p and stared long and hard at p's chin which was dripping milk. I think she was weighing up the pros and cons of giving baby a good lick.

And my final thought on the gender debate is that pink will not damage p but attitudes will. So my goal is not to ban pink but to manage attitudes

Oh no. I get cystitis. Rarely now but used to be chronic on a weekly or fortnightly basis til they worked out what was causing it. Poor puss she must have been in agony :(

Nout wrong with pink. As I said the other day, I got married in pink. Unfortunately even in France attitudes are crappy. Will see if can upload a photo.

This really pissed me off. Homework books for pre teens.

That would give me the rage. I did once know a teacher who would prepare different lessons for the girls and boys to teach spreadsheets. "Because girls like shopping"

Thanks for the nice welcomes back!

I tell L he is beautiful and strong and brave and lots of other things besides - the same things I would tell a girl. And I refuse to buy any of those slogan tees unless it's something neutral. I hope L grows up to be kind and caring as well as confident and ambitious and less bitey than at present. In RL I always try to notice and comment on any non-stereotyped behaviour from children as I have lots of friends and family who are convinced there are massive differences between boys and girls. Annoyingly though of all the toys and books L has formed an attachment to Thomas the bloody Tank Engine. Undermining my efforts. Grr.

Also totally agree with letting them have personal space when they want it and turning down cuddles. L also needs to learn that not every other child wants one of his bear hugs!

I'm a girl. I hate shopping!

Jupiter there's a lovely post doing the FB rounds urging folks to try to engage in a non gendered way when meeting wee kids, especially girls. I hate myself for it but I invariably find myself wanting to comment (innocently) on a girl's appearance I.e "I like your bobbles / jumper etc" (which just reinforces the view that its just what they look like that matters, I know I hate myself for it but its so ingrained) anyway his post suggests asking girls who are little about their favourite story instead and asking older girls about what they'd change about school / society / the world. To encourage them to value their imagination and agency to change the world. Too often women sit and watch whilst men change the world - because of the emphasis on female obedience in childhood maybe?

Re the gender thing, both my girls have had cars, trucks, trains, dolls, kitchen stuff etc. As soon as DD1 went to nursery she was all about the princess's and everything had to be pink. She's sort of coming out of the pink faze but is still all over disney princess's and frozen is flavour of the month. But also boys here tend to like frozen too and it isn't a typical man rescues girl story line so could be worse although the songs grate on me and I prefer tangled.

We were in elc earlier and E was playing happily with a train until she spotted shelves full of dolls and she literally through the train and shouted baby and ran to them with all her might. Did make me giggle.

Had a lovely time at my friends BBQ despite pretty ropey weather. Girls were very well behaved and we didn't get home till 10:30 so they've not long been in bed. DH is on a stag do so looking forward to having the bed to myself. Very much hoping for a bit of a lay in. Expect I'll be disappointed.

Oh I get scared of my girls' future when I realise things have not only not changed but are regressing. We didn't have the princess sparkly crap when we were growing up. Did we?

I think dolls are good for kids of both sex. LO is teaching a dolly to use the potty atm. Am hoping she learns from that herself. She changes its nappy and says, in her basic way, accident, nevermind :o which she has learned from nursery I guess.

We were still expected to be mummies pr. Little changes it just gets dressed differently.

PR I def had sparkly princess Barbies. And I'm a raging feminist. They'll be cool.

Ah. I never had barbies. My mum isn't a feminist I think she just didn't have the money.

I bloody loved my barbies and I had one called crystal barbie that had a sparkly dress on. And I was obsessed with cabbage patch kids. But there wasn't this whole princess thing. Of course there were the disney films cinderella and sleeping beauty etc but there wasn't the cross over from the films to merchandise like there is now a days. It's the same for superheroes too so it isn't just disney to blame. It's just a more commercialised world that we live in now. But I'm sure all our kids will grow up to be intelligent level headed people, just like their parents

Right I've got sucked into watching Metallica at Glastonbury on the tele so going to switch off now before I end up staying up half the night.

I've been sucked in on the radio. Pished and listening to Metallica - bad idea!

Oh yes I've seen that YW it's right up my street.

I also had Crystal Barbie Eliza, she was my favourite and I loved all those dolls - however as you say it wasn't rammed down our throats as much that we had to like princesses and pink etc. From what I've heard it's pretty universal once they get into preschool age but it's the messages they get overall which will influence them as they get older. I have no doubt the quiche girls and boys will all grow up to be strong, caring and achieving like their Mummies.

We have also been watching Metallica \m/ - time for bed now...

Metallica. Are they still alive?

Wtf is TWW

Date was great. Nice guy, lots of talk, no sleep. I'm shattered. Don't think anything will happen, he lives too far and I don't do distance.

Glad the date went well Lily and it doesn't have to go anywhere.

TWW is The West Wing. I have never been able to get into it.

DD1 was into everything until she hit 3 and everything became pink and fluffy. Only skirts and dresses etc, obsessed with all things Princess.

DD2 was the opposite as when she hit 3 she was all things not pink. She is only just beginning to tolerate skirts, but only if she initiates the choice. She hates dolls but loves Playmobil and teddies. They all love baby dolls too.

J has very few things bought just for a boy. His gifts from others are always boy toys though. I make sure he wears boy clothes. It is novelty value for me still, having had two girls. He loves dressing up in anything, and I allow that, but not for nursery or going out. I keep his hair short for ease, plus it is so thick and curly it always looks scruffy if over a cm long.