This is all so interesting. I too tell DD she is beautiful and gorgeous but I'm also keen to praise her intelligence, determination, kindness and tolerance too. I also don't want her to be forced into doing things - I often suggest it would be nice if she gave Nanny/someone else a cuddle but I don't force her to against her will. It's sometimes a fine line though isn't it - having the right to not do something if you don't want to versus doing things we'd prefer not to but do because it is polite.
Gender stuff - the good thing about a DS and DD close in age is they share everything. They do sometimes gravitate towards stereotypical things - DD with her dollies which S has only shown a passing interest in, but mainly they both play with all the toys we have.
DD is starting to be aware of girls and boys as being different - they both know they have a different anatomy from each other but DD has started to say things like "the girls do this, the boys can do that", which is in spite of DH being her much preferred parent!
As well as being keen to promote DD's independence and sense of worth and equality in our society, I'm also keen for S not to be hampered by attitudes of - oh, typical boy, what do you expect kind of thing.