JULY 2014 - WE HAVE BABIES

[justhayley]

Well it's only mid June but I hear we have our first July 2014 baby - congratulations MrsC, also hear there is one going to be joining us very very soon so thought it was time to start a postnatal thread! Wow can you believe it's that time already!!!

I hope to be joining you on this thread in the next few weeks - have no desire to get to 40 /42 weeks in this heat thank you.

For now congratulations new mummies xxx

Lara has just made a July baby, born on Thursday 31st July at 18.03 weighing in at 8lbs 14.5 oz!

I called my parents the other day on video chat as we'd not spoken since they left here. My dad answers amd we talk for a minute until my mum comes over. First thing she says is that she doesn't want to see me, she wants to see bean. So I spent the entire time holding the phone so all she would see was bean, kind of talking to myself.

Oddly enough This actually hurt my feelings. One of my fears about being a parent is being totally subsumed by the role, bean becomes the only important thing and I disappear. AIBU to think mum was mean? To feel hurt?

Aw ismarah yanbu at all- your m is being really insensitive. Do you have the sort of relationship where you could tell her how you feel- that you are not beans PA facilitating communication with her Grandmother?
I think sometimes people get carried away with the novelty of a new baby - my sister lived away when ds1 was born so is delighted to be around for ds2 but it is getting a little grating to have repeated requests to meet up with her and friends to "show off" ds2 while ds1 is an afterthought.
I haven't discussed with her yet but maybe have to take my own advice!

Huge congratulations mummytobe :)

ismarah I really dislike the video function on skype and much prefer normal phone or just audio. When DM was overseas I think I just found that easier and meant I could sort of forget how far away she was! I just used to email photos of DS instead which I do now with DD even though they're back in the UK (though still a 2.5hr drive away). Would your DM be receptive to you explaining how you feel?

Seriously how do you express with one hand? I'm not having much luck but if I don't get the hang of it I'm never going to get out without ds! And does anyone else end up with milk dripping when they stop?

ds took ages to go down last night - dunno what was wrong but he was really distressed every time i put him down - so I'm tired today
but going to try repeatedly to get him to settlre in his moses basket - wish me luck!

ismarah i would be upset too - some of dps sporting friends have treated me like a second thought and it pisses me off!

Thanks ladies, I appreciate the support.

I used the video chat because I was trying to be nice, I guess, letting them see bean again even if she was asleep in my arms (which kind of made it worse - we were both right there). There's no need for me to call them like that though and we have a shared picture folder set up that we add photos and videos to for both families. So maybe I'll do that instead - there's no way of discussing it with mum. Anything I say will be chalked up to me being oversensitive and therefore my problem and I should get over it.

DH has been sleeping in the spare room for the worknights last week mainly so he can function and earn the big bucks. Last night he thought he'd stay in with me and bean...he lasted until the second feed. This makes me want to cackle slightly... #evilwife But the downside is that as he no longer does the first morning feed, which then turns into a cuddle, yesterday he didn't spend any extended time with her. And then if she cries when he picks her up he goes into a tizzt because 'she always cries when I pick her up'. She doesn't but well done you on the OTT drama queen reaction. Sigh.

ismarah whole thread on Facebook group because dh's are generally not as amazing natural Dads as we would like! I find it so hard to step back and let dh work out best way to comfort. After 1010mins I went into lounge to take ds aand was so good when dh said no what are you going to do so told him, he tried it and managed to get him to sleep, he also managed to get him into basket abd still asleep! Phew

ickle that's reassuring to hear... dp annoys me as he keeps asking if ds is hungry when he's crying (no if he was hungry I would feed him!) or what's wrong with him (I dunno I'm not psychic!)

Mastitis is so horrible. I had it twice with DS and numerous blocked ducts and it was miserable. After the second bout I found something online about how taking a supplement called lecithin can help prevent the ducts becoming blocked and as soon as I started taking it I didn't have any further problems. This time round with DD I started taking it immediately as a preventative measure and so far (touch wood) so good.

Also I am sure you know but in case you don't, antibiotics can cause havoc with your digestive system so some decent probiotics can help.

It is horrid so hope you all feel better soon.

ismarah MIL can be a bit like that. Not so much with Skype but she always goes on about missing her precious grandchildren and how hard it is having them so far away etc etc. Never says she misses DH!

I had a little snigger at feeding on all fours in a café. Sending ladies who have mastitis a hug. I've never had it but sounds nasty. I'm feeling sorry for myself as my period is back and my scar is aching.

ismarah I have the opposite problem in that people aren't that interested in DS5. Maybe it's a 5th baby thing or maybe it's because he's so close in age to DN. None of my family have even seen him. I had the same problem as you with DS1 though. People used to follow me around, talking to DS and ignoring me, really weird.

Congrats, mummytobe!

Hope you ladies with mastitis get better asap. It sounds very painful and exhausting.

Baby has vomited all over me twice this evening. There was so much of it that it came out of her nose as well as her mouth, the poor wee thing. Had no warning either time. So now have to feed with her sitting up because me reclining no longer seems to work. Thankfully it feels more comfortable for my nipples.

The last two nights ds has been really distressed at bedtime when I've been trying to settle him upstairs. No idea why. He now has a new fave thing though - watching dps bike wheel spinning. Seems to calm him immediately. As does singing the wheels on the bus

I really have to stop reading funny threads whilst feeding though as my laughing disrupts him!

DD2 has been attached to my boobs all afternoon. The 2-3 week growth spurt presumably (hopefully). It's now 10pm and she's still going. I'm exhausted!!

Auntie the only thing that upsets bean more than having hiccups when she's being fed is when I have hiccups when she's being fed. Such an evil look I got from her!

Clean bill of health here for our 6w check up and I'm cleared to start to massage the scar and exercise. Bean has already grown out of her first few clothes but that sounds more impressive than it is as she is still in the 'up to 1 month' size - previously she's been in the 7lb and 9lb small baby clothes.

Hello everyone. Are August babies allowed on this thread?

I've tried to keep up with everyone's news but it's taken the 11 days since the birth of our lovely daughter for me to get up the gumption to actually post anything, mainly because I've been so overwrought, tired and stressed (in between being deliriously happy and cataloguing the perfections of the baby).

My husband has been brilliant - luckily for me he's not working at the moment and has been running around doing all the housework and cooking, making me nutritious dinners and bringing snacks to wherever I happen to be lolling. He's changed more nappies than I have - I never had to deal with a meconium poo! He's ordered so many breastfeeding accessories from Amazon that the courier must be in despair.

The little one is gorgeous, snuggly, squeaky and seems healthy, although she's lost 8% of her considerable body weight - she was 4.1kg at birth. She was a complete trooper during the birth, even though she pooed in the waters way before labour started. Her heart rate stayed the same throughout and when she was born by c-section after a long early labour and a failed induction she had Apgar scores of 9 and 10.

So I do feel very lucky, and I wanted my first post here to be positive, but I am really struggling with breastfeeding and my feelings about how badly the birth went compared to my hopes for a natural one. Everyone keeps telling me that the birth is in the past and I should focus on how I managed to produce a lovely healthy baby ("so big she couldn't come out the natural way"). So, good incubator, check, and if I wasn't finding it so hard to feed her due to tiny and late milk supply, and poor latching, I'd probably be ok with that. But at the moment I feel like an epic failure on two counts, and one out of three isn't good enough for me. People seem to forget that mothers are human beings too. I am tired of being told that I'm over-analysing it all. And given the pressure on mums to breastfeed, how can I not feel like I'm giving her second best every time I give her formula because my breasts aren't working properly?

Ah, I'm sorry for the rant.

Mupperoon congratulations and welcome - of course you're allowed!

I'm sorry that you didn't have the birth experience you wanted. I know how gutted I would have been if I'd not had my preferred birth so I can imagine how you must feel. I don't think there's any need to feel like a failure though - if anything you're the opposite. You had a labour that ended successfully in the delivery of a (very!) large baby (mine was 2.79kgs!) and mother and baby are both healthy. A traumatic c section will take you time to get over and recover from - much like any unexpected event, a car accident or a fall. Add on top of that being 'hormonally challenged' with everything that's rampaging around your system and it's perfectly understandable that you've not 'jut got over it'. But give yourself time and you will, I promise.

With regards to BF vs FF...it shouldn't be a 'vs' in the first place. Like you I had problems breastfeeding initially and we ended up giving DD formula. I thought I'd try and still be BF at the 6w checkup but wasn't optimistic. We've just had our checkup and I could honestly say that I still BF. 90% of the time she gets formula but usually about 1x a day, she has BF. I can much better cope with BF if it's on my terms and by giving her formula I've ensured that it is. So I don't know how long I'll last BF at this point but it's for sure a hell of a lot l

FFS!

...a lot longer than if I'd have gone insane from trying to BF only. Do what is right for you and we here will support you - nobody will judge. You've not failed in any way, you and baby are alive and you're feeding the baby however suits your family best and that's all that matters.

You done good, kid.

Aww mupperoon your post made me feel so sad. ismarah has said it all so I won't add much else, but just want to say it sounds like you're doing brilliantly, although the way you feel isn't to be dismissed as it's how you feel, and that's important. You should be so proud of yourself!

mupperoon ismarah has said it beautifully. Am glad you've got your wonderful DH to support you. Breastfeeding is jolly difficult in the beginning and whatever you can do is great for your little one.

I'm struggling with feeding right now too. DD has started fussing at the breast and one right nipple is agony. Have had to change feeding position and Sophia doesn't like it. Also think I have some blocked ducts in my right breast but can't feed to clear them as it hurts too much. Sitting here topless trying to make it feel better but all I want to do is cry because we had been doing so well and now it feels like we're right back at the beginning.

House is a tip as well and I just can't get on top of it. I hate mess.

Hugs mupperoon no one can prepare you for the newborn days: the guilt, worry, exhaustion and the hormones raging. Sounds like your DH is awesome . Keep talking to us about how you feel. Feel free to PM me in the middle of the night if you need a chat as I'll be around (I go to bed at 6am UK time if baby allows). That offer goes for everyone else too.

mupperoon I've got a June baby and I'm staying here too. I know how it feels to have a traumatic birth (DS5 was a C-section too) and while I'm very grateful to the surgeon who got him out very speedily and the paediatrician who spent 40 minutes stabilising him the birth was awful and not what I'd planned at all. You and baby being healthy is the most important thing but your feelings matter too. DS4 couldn't breastfeed so I know how you feel on that front too. I'm going to be in hospital with DS4 for the next 2 days but after that if you ever want to chat I'm here.

mupperoon not much I can add to what's already been said but so glad DH is being helpful and sending you a big hug! Re the BF thing you've probably looked at this already but try kellymom website for lots of tips and hints and if your DH keen on spending on amazon a great book with loads of helpful info is The Womanly Art of Breastfeeding.

kiwi could you try expressing to clear the ducts? When my nipples were in bits my bf counsellor friend suggested a) switching to 'laid back/biological' feeding position so that pressure on different part of the nipple or b) giving that side 48hr break, feeding only from the other side and expressing from that side to keep supply going.

We're plodding along ok, DD still full of cold and DS v hard work (teething possibly or just being a typical toddler!). DH back onto shift work tomorrow which I'm not looking forward too plus I have a sore throat brewing!

Anyone got any tips for baby acne? DD has it lot worse than DS had it but not sure if I should just leave it or treat it somehow??

Hey mupperoon - hell yes we insist you stay with us here despite having an August birthdate!

100% understand where you're coming from. We've been two steps forward one step back (or sometimes feels more like three steps back) with BFing and I'm surprised how much it's getting to me and how much I feel like a failure.

Between that and the intensity of having a limpet baby that is attached to me 24/7 am not feeling like I'm coping particularly well right now.

One other thing I wanted to say about breastfeeding: it's lovely when it goes well but it is relentless no matter what. It's a marathon - and when becomes difficult for whatever reason; mastitis, growth spurts, milk late coming in, dehydration, imperfect latch or tongue tie - all makes it so much harder, mentally and physically. If you run a marathon you train for months or even years in order to be able to do it in a healthy manner. And most importantly when you do take on a challenge like a marathon, you take energy geks and sports drinks and use muscle rubs and have gait analysis - basically anything that will get you to the finish line.

So if formula gets you to the finish line or your marathon is a walking one rather than a running one, that's fine. However you get there is how YOU get there.