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November 2012 - Roll on summer, we want paddling pools!

999 replies

StuntNun · 13/05/2014 23:17

Previous thread: www.mumsnet.com/Talk/postnatal_clubs/2060460-November-2012-This-is-the-new-fred-just-like-the-old-fred

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
Wandathewindfairy · 22/05/2014 09:48

det a fire engine that makes a noise. Or a little pack of dye cast cars.

GTbaby · 22/05/2014 09:50

Oh soph I feel so shit! But yes will be shredding during the boys afternoon nap.
I may try during As morning nap actually. H can watch me being an idiot? He might like to join in. That way I can enjoy for free time during afternoon naps. Will report back later.

MR det. I think lego duplo would be easy to get or aquadoodle, which I found in entertainer for £20, can get it for less but think you don't have time to order online. Don't forget wrapping paper and card!

PetiteRaleuse · 22/05/2014 09:55

There is an interesting theory re poo creating issues for toilet training. My (ex) shrink believes that toddlers see poo as being part of themselves, and don't want to let it go. This is why when toilet training they are often fine and easy to train with pees but either withold poos or only do them in pants or a nappy. And listening to other mums at nursery this seems to be pretty common, though I didn't have that issue with DD1 - in fact as I said yesterday her constipation finally cleared up when she was toilet trained.

Where it is relevant to me though is LO's constipation - she needs to poo, she knows she has to, doesn't have any reason not to, but holds it in. Could it be because she sees her poo as part of her?

Also, around 18mo DD1 started to hate having her nappy changed - really dislike it, and each nappy change was a physical battle, which was great fun when recovering from the c section. I suppose that would fit in with the theory too?

This is the age where they start to see things as belonging to them. One of LO's words is "mine" and she gets v angry with DD1 for using what she perceives to be "her" beloengings. Unfortunately DD1 is still in that phase too which makes for lots of fun.

Freud had a lot to say on potty training too - called toddlerdom the Anal stage and of course managed to link it to sex. A lot of his theories have been discredited but they are interesting to read. I read up quite a bit on Freud because in France they are still very Freudian in their outlook, shown throughout the health and education systems, so I need to know what I am up against.

yw I have also heard the going up and down stairs thing is a good sign toddlers are ready, and that there is no point in even trying before then.

PetiteRaleuse · 22/05/2014 09:56

det how much do you like the kids' parents? How about a drum, or a tambourine?

Lily311 · 22/05/2014 09:58

I also heard that if they can jump than you could start trying as jumping uses muscles that are used for controlling bladder

GTbaby · 22/05/2014 10:30

I'm giving up on weetabix for breakfast. Too much of a battle. I don't have time. Is Cheerios enough though? Shall I try offer toast as well as Cheerios?
So milk in bottle and bowl of dry Cheerios in his high chair?

StuntNun · 22/05/2014 10:38

I think toilet training is one area where it's really easy to balls it up and make life harder for yourself. The normal range of readiness for toilet training is huge, for example some children will only be dry through the night at 7 and this is totally normal. IMO the biggest problem is pressure on parents to toilet train early. Apparently I was toilet trained at 18 months (go me!) but if my mum had put pressure on me to toilet train DS1 at that age it would have been disaster because it took him until 3.5. I don't know why there's such a lot of pressure either. You wouldn't tell a mother of a one year old that they should be able to walk by now so keep putting them on their feet and letting go of them so they can walk. As with all things we just need to follow our parental instinct of when they are ready. And it can be a matter of convenience too. The mother of a newly toilet trained child soon knows where every toilet in the vicinity is! So I wouldn't recommend toilet training just before going on holiday. My poor DS2 suffered when we had the bathroom redone because he couldn't remember where to go to pee because the toilet had moved! He kept coming in at night to ask us where the toilet was the poor lad. Anyway I will be watching with interest but will probably err on the side of later rather than earlier.

OP posts:
GTbaby · 22/05/2014 11:45

Shock Day two of shred done. With h ran through my legs during the side lunges. He thought it was all hilarious. Tomorrow I will wait until he is asleep.

PurplePidjin · 22/05/2014 12:02

www.scribd.com/doc/28743654/Poo-Goes-to-Pooland-1-1

Try this story, PR - it's also on youtube but i can't do youtube stuff due to being crap at iMac stuff Blush

This morning during music, R suddenly came over to me and started climbing me (which is what he does when he's got a wet bum). Nappy was dry. Then he tried to take me to the door which leads to the hall and toilets. A couple of minutes later (because I was in the middle of taking the class and couldn't really do anything about it at that moment!) his nappy was sodden. I really really think he was asking for the toilet. So I'm going to continue with nappies for out and about, but work on potty stuff nappy free at home. By work I mean observing closely for cues, trying to get him to use the word Wee Wee when needed, and having the potty accessible. He already goes to the high chair if I ask if he's hungry/goes to the stairs if I ask if he needs a clean bum or nap/gets a toy to take to share if I say we're visiting a friend etc so I think that's achievable. We might be visiting the ILs this weekend and he knows the layout of SIL's house, so we can probably carry on there. If he really was asking for the potty this morning, there was plenty of time between the initial ask and the actual wee to get him into a bathroom and nappy off Shock I'm still a bit bemused by all this tbh, it seems such a young age to be able to communicate quite a complex need. I was honestly expecting many more months before I needed to worry about this! He climbs the stairs upwards and downwards standing up if he's got something to hold on to - hand or rail - but crawls if no extra support. But is not really much of a daredevil in general as evidenced by the length of time he clung to my hand before he fully walked and his confidence once he let go Confused

GT I give R a choice of breakfast most mornings. He either gets weetabix which I spoon in or a bowl of dry cereal (cheerios, shreddies, cornflakes, rice crispies) with a cup of cows milk on the side. If he's still hungry, I offer raisins/banana/toast/crumpet. It seems to work for him and if he chooses dry cereal I get my hands free to drink my coffee in peace yay

PetiteRaleuse · 22/05/2014 12:06

I think like with weaning and getting them to eat varied food and numerous other parenting issues we go through it's one of those things that if you turn it into a battle you're sure to lose :)

In France we do have a pressure. They have to be trained before starting school. LO will start in September 2015 at 2y10m. If she isn't clean by then she will have to stay back a year in nursery and her peers will go on without her. I don't think we'll have a problem (famous last words) but DD1's peers are now 3 months from d day and parents are panicking. Every day someone either asks if DD1 is trained or word has got out that she is and they ask me for tips. It's quite unnerving how stressed people are about it. I was just lucky that she was easy to train and I had the time with her to do it.

PetiteRaleuse · 22/05/2014 12:12

pidj my inner toilet humour loving self is cackling with glee at that book!!! :o

DD1 is going through her why phase still and we have been talking a lot about why we poo. Have learned a lot about the digestive system and she loves looking at her poo and LO's nappies and trying to spot bits of food in it. It's funny but gross, and LO is getting involved too and saying things like oooh, carrots, yum, while inspecting her nappy.

Kids are gross. But I guess it's all part of the fun of learning how we work eh?

PurplePidjin · 22/05/2014 12:48

www.bbc.co.uk/cbeebies/whats-the-big-idea

Not poo related as such, but R loves Hugo ^ and it explores lots of random abstract concepts. Might be one for her to watch PR?

Visit to ILs will be next weekend, so lots of time to see if this potty training malarkey is going to go anywhere

PurplePidjin · 22/05/2014 12:48

And GRRRRRR the thunder has woken him up. Hope he goes back to sleep, I'm needing this little sit down!

GTbaby · 22/05/2014 13:15

Put H to bed. Managed a shower with A on his changing mat. So I get to enjoy As nap when he eventually goes down.

StuntNun · 22/05/2014 13:37

Oooh DMIL has kidnapped J and DM is collecting DS1 and DS2 so I have a little bit of kid-free time. I have been dispatched to bed for a nap but I've had way too much caffeine to sleep so I'm going to do a quick update then read for a bit. You know a real book and everyfink.

So after Sunday-nightgate the HV was out for a visit yesterday. She had instructed me to go to the GP regarding depression. She is looking into suitable groups for DS1 or autism-support groups. She can refer DS2 to a psychologist for his anxiety. She has referred J to a dietitian. She has made an appointment to call back next month after J has seen the paediatrician to see how we are all getting on.

J has been soya free since Sunday. Obviously Sunday night was bad. Monday night wasn't great but Tuesday and Wednesday night he did cry a couple of times in the night but without being in pain as he was before. His nappies are still horrendous though, requiring a full clothes change most days. Today he was giggling for the first time in ages. So soya is looking like a definite culprit. What is the consensus on Pom Bears? I seem to remember someone saying that soya lecithins were okay because they don't contain the protein allergen. I suppose any improvement will depend on whether soya is the only thing he is reacting to or whether there's anything else causing problems.

Right off to read now...

OP posts:
PetiteRaleuse · 22/05/2014 14:39

The HV visit sounds pretty positive stunt . Proactive anyway. Support re DS1 would be fab, a shrink will be able to assess DS2 pretty thoroughly and should certainly help with any anxiety and she's right about going to the GP. Your depression is possibly not a long term thing - maybe just situational, temporary. Unless there's a history that we're not aware of on here of course which is fine.

When is the paed appointment exactly? Do you have a date?

StuntNun · 22/05/2014 15:00

I don't know PR I really thought I was over the worst of it. December was absolutely horrible and January wasn't much better but with more light, better weather and especially with starting exercising more I thought my mood was vastly improved. We found out in January that DS1 is gifted which is obviously good news and DS2's dyslexia diagnosis in April, while not good news, is a positive step in that now he might be able to get the extra help he needs. My dog had seemed to be on her last legs (quite literally after injuries to three legs) but is still soldiering on manfully. So there is a lot going on but it's not all bad iyswim. I was in ADs years ago following a bout of viral encephalitis which is a pretty nasty thing to have. I didn't really want to go on then at the time but the GP persuaded me that I needed them. I felt so much better after I came off them that I swore never to take them again. Also in this case I feel like it's papering over the cracks of the symptoms rather than addressing the cause which is J's health ishoos.

Paed appointment is 12 June. I am counting the days. (It's 21 days btw!)

OP posts:
PetiteRaleuse · 22/05/2014 15:15

Maybe the GP could prescribe non medical treatment for your depression. Something like CBT? Might be able to help you develop some coping strategies?

ChasingDaisy · 22/05/2014 15:21

Stunt, I second what PR said about CBT. Perhaps to help you develop some strategies to get through this period? Also, FWIW, I didn't get on with AD's first time round, but apart from a couple of minor side effects, they have been a literal life saver for me this time around. Also, there are different types of AD's - the one I'm on is an SSRI (fluoxetine/Prozac)

There's a very fierce storm going on here. Wibble.

PetiteRaleuse · 22/05/2014 15:25

I love storms!

PetiteRaleuse · 22/05/2014 15:55

Woo. Huge storm here now too!!! Thanks chasing :o

YellowWellies · 22/05/2014 16:39

Storm envy!

Stunt J eats pretty much all soy and soy lecithins now - only soy sauce, edamame beans and f*cking pom bears trigger a reaction. God knows why. They seem to be more soy heavy than the ingredients suggest.

PurplePidjin · 22/05/2014 17:32

Stunt it sounds like some ass has been kicked. FX it makes life easier for you now people have started bothering to do their jobs Brew

PurplePidjin · 22/05/2014 17:34

PS Stunt you haz Pee Emm Thanks

GTbaby · 22/05/2014 17:47

H has just had the biggest melt down ever. Fh bought him down from nap. Put him on sofa and walked away to get milk. Bring on an hour of crying. Even getting him ready to go out didnt calm him down Shock