March 2013 - we're gonna need a bigger wine rack

[Plonkysaurus]

Ta da!

x-post plonk

Only 7? Do you fink I'm fick? I like dream Something, she's well more cleverer than me.

I totally understand the way you're feeling about ToddlePlonk but you know he'll have that new key worker doting on him by lunchtime and you'll get to know her as she spends more time with him. All you need to know is that he's going to be just as well looked after and he'll have fun making mischief for somebody new

WTF, bopper? Teenybopper? I meant nipper! I guess autocorrect is just as much of a bugger on the mobile site as on the app.

App update: hq assumed the problem was linked to recent slow server times. It wasn't. So they only actually started looking into it yesterday.

Stormy I hope you've got your fire proof pants on No I believe good sleepers are born but I don't doubt that your approach to sleep in the early days has laid good foundations for you. Toddlestorm seems to know not to mess with mummy's sleep!

Something seven is perfectly respectable! Especially when you already hold several, and A-Levels, and a degree. Even in my dream it did pass my mind that perhaps you ought to aim slightly higher.

Yes I'm sure he'll bond with the new keyworker. She's not mumsy like the last one though, and I think she's only 12 years old. She is nice though, so I'm sure he'll be fine. Plus if she's only a whippersnapper herself then she'll have plenty of energy to keep up with him.

Ha plonk . Today is actually my day off work- phew. DS is having a well deserved nap (!) and I have done my chores so now here! . 4.45 is an unusual start time for us, we have worked hard on sleep (I agree plonk some are born good sleepers) and if it wasn't for HUGE molars then we normally have a 6.30 ish start. And I have to get up by then anyway!!

I like being a bopper

I do wish good sleepers were made, not born. Just think of how much money I could have made selling the secret to Betty!

I was going to say isn't seven GCSEs not really that many? I'm sure it was standard to take ten when I was at school. Then I remembered that, clever clogs though I was at school, I only came away with eight of them (because I don't count a) the E grade or b) the course I got kicked off).

Yesterday we had a hellishly grumpy toddler. I suspect tiredness was part of it - she wouldn't go to sleep until 8.45 the previous night, and at naptime she just about fell asleep on the bottle and was out for three hours. Today she is obviously much better rested. The difference is staggering. I spent an hour and a half pottering in the kitchen this morning (beef in slow cooker, yum), and she entertained herself with barely a whinge the whole time. The house did look like a bombsite when she was finished, mind.

I'm loving this speaking toddler business. Cute moment last night.
"Can Mummy have a kiss?" I asked. She gave me an approximation of one. "Can Daddy have a kiss?" I asked her. She gave him a suspicious look, and then, "No!" she shouted. And grinned at herself.

I love it too stormy. The other day I asked DS if he wanted a banana, and he pointed to them and said "narna". Then today, he toddled over to the sofa, peeked into my Dad's porridge bowl, which was empty, and said "gone". Proud mummy moment!

Can you tell I'm at work on a computer, what with all my excessive posting?

I'm sure MN was invented to save the sanity of the hordes of computer-based workers, something!
I've been superbly efficient today, have done as much table planning as I have materials to do, been to the gym and bashed out several kilometres on very things, had a sauna and done lots of work. And still 2 and a half hours until I go to fetch DS, so I should probably get more work done. But now it's MN lunch time.

Toddler speak is so funny. We have sounds for cat, dog, car, and bath. For gone he lifts up his hands as if to say 'all gone', and if DP performs pratfalls, as he is wont to do, DS slaps himself in the face in embarrassment. And yy to the difference sleep makes. Ideally he has a two hour nap in the middle of the day, but if that doesn't happen you can guarantee a return to the Witching Hour days of old.

I have decided that we are going to TTC. We are going to have a girl called Joss. Or Robyn. And a puppy. These are my plans.

After... Joss Whedon? Could be worse.

We have arms up with things that are gone too. She tries to say allgone as one word. There's an initial vowel, a definite g, and another vowel sound, and it's consistent, but the pronunciation needs work! Also keeps pointing at her mouth and saying maow. And we have an attempt at milk and cat. That's about it for words so far.

Just posting to say toddleyum is over the worst. He is keeping water down and slowly moving onto solids. It wasn't a urine infection but he has gasto something. I forgot the name. I'm at work but leaving early to be with toddleyum. Got so many posts to catch up on.

and who is splashy?

Gastroenteritis? Medical term for a stomach bug. Glad he's on the mend!

The app is fixed. Yay!

Afternoon all, especially the now defunct Splashy, who has if I understand it correctly left us to go and sit back at the table on her sore arse. Or something.

Stormy good sleepers are definitely born, not made. Miss Perfect Pants down the road (she is unaware of this name.... but I take my kicks where I can get them) birthed what can only be described as the world best sleeper some time last summer. 5.15pm, and Perfect Pants junior was tucked up, every night, and sleeping through. Then they hit 6 months..... and oh, how I laughed. Well actually I didn't really, although I may have stifled a small snigger. She's now hitching up the bags under her eyes with trowels of foundation, and eagerly looking forward to getting over the sleep regression hump and rejoining the world of day light living again.

GCSEs. I did those! Does that make me young? I wasn't even the first year to do them second

Still no recognisable words here, but she her recognition skills are picking up. Yesterday she got hold of one of DH's precious car magazines (oh ok, I gave it to her ), and the sound of shredding paper was suddenly interrupted by excited squeaks. She'd got the magazine open on a picture of an old man sitting in a classic car, and was looking at it, then me, then it, and getting into quite a fluster about it, saying ba ba. Naturally I had to take a closer look to see what all the fuss was about, and I'll be damned if this bloke wasn't the image of DH. DH at about 70 that is, but an absolute ringer for him. So there you have it, the toddle thinks her daddy is a 70 year old racing driver .

Sunny day here now, although it wasn't earlier, and... da da dadddddhhhh... the conservatory roof is almost fixed, the floor screed is in, and the place actually looks like a room. It will one day be gorgeous. DH blast him has pulled it off again. He's irritatingly good at things. Except cooking. That's about all though bastard

Eco now where are you young lady? Out enjoying the sunshine I assume!

If my calculations are correct, doli, that means you're two years younger than the man. I hadn't realised Adrian Mole missed GCSEs by so few years. Also, yay for conservatory progress!

Yikes, I love a bit of prolific marchers. Haven't kept up properly as MIL here and no dh as he in bloody Bedfordshire. Now in bed so time to say hello to you lot.

Doli, fun in the sun? No no no. Not been any sun here for days. Rain. Lots of it. We officially have no clean outdoor gear. It's all in the washing machine. Five coats and two all in ones. We have a massive love in with muddy puddles going on right now.

Yummy I'm pleased that the worst is over. Sounds stressful. He have dinner tonight?

Something why is it that we all dream of you and your mansions and qualifications? You hold a strange power over us.

No head butting here. Yet. Lots of fecking kicking mummy during nappy changes though. How does one chastise or discipline a toddler?

We also have traditional values in this house. I value tidy spaces that are clean. Dh values cuddles on the sofa. I think I mentioned before that our solution was for me to notice stuff and tell him. He doesn't take that as nagging. He just doesn't notice stuff/care about detail. But he cares when it means something to me.

What else have we been chatting about? Can't remember I'm afraid. We have colds and are tired and a bit fed up. That's my excuse. Despite that we have been having healthy doses of wet fresh air each day. I like the splashy (were you drunk Plonky?) fun.

We have big news. Someone who was not mummy or daddy put Ecotod to bed for the first time. And she went to sleep! Proud! I thought it'd be good practice for when we need that to work. So mil put her to bed tonight. I know you've done this Doli, anyone else, or am I late to the party? It feels liberating. I have faith in our bedtime cues and routine now. With this sample size of one :-)

I hope you are all well and that none of us have a day starting with a 4. That's just rude. Plonk and shattered I'm hopeful for your mornings.

It's very nearly overfamiliar Friday my lovelies! Whoop! I get my dh back. :-)

Ps. Stormy app not working for me yet. Is it for you any and something?

Hello! Sorry for leave of absence. Just so blooming busy! We have toddlesnottymess at the moment, poor tyke. Made for disturbed nights all week and potential fun for a long drive to visit the ILs this weekend. Ugh. I am soooooo tired.

Eco, grandma will be putting Toddlemess to bed Monday and has done it before. Bathtime scares her solo - he's so slippery and wriggly - but there's enough to the rest of the routine that it still works. She's only done it a couple of times fully alone, several with just one of us. But loads of naps. Seems to work.

Right, tea, shower, work. In that order. Big sloppy kisses to all you sexy bastards!

Tea? Of a morning, Wotta? Heathen! (Or should that be teathen?) it's coffee or nothing here, I visibly wince if anyone mentions tea before 11am. Hope wottatod feels better soon.

There you are, eco! I might have been pining for you slightly I wondered where you've been! Very jealous of your muddy puddle splashes. Wish ds would get his walking on so we could test our splashsuit out before the weather goes nice again. Apparently dp doesn't understand the appeal of a big splashy puddle and thinks the awesome navy blue starry waterproofs are a waste of £20, so I'm waiting to prove to him that it's the best £20 I've ever spent. But without walking there will be no wellies!

Great news on the sleeping front, dd must be like a different child from 6 months ago. Can only imagine how good that must be for your mental health. Not that you're nuts, even though you are a bit but I'd be batshit on such poor sleep.

I still want to name change but all the good names are taken the name was inspired by Eddie Izzard describing how you flirt in a swimming pool. Oh well, Plonky is as Plonky does.

Stormy no clue who Joss Whedon is, I just like the name. Have sudden and desperate realisation that our family isn't complete, so am plotting away with money and when to ttc.

Eight weeks tomorrow I become Mrs SilliestNameEver. Just so I know, roughly how much should I have organised by now? You lot are the experts on most things, can I leave my plans up to your collective wisdom if I make enough and bring [pombear]?

Plonk by T- 8 weeks I had done all the big stuff (venue, dress etc) and none of the small stuff (favours, decs, etc) I guess as long as all the stuff that needs to be booked is booked (at the very least stuff that gets booked up early), then you're fine.

Dd is pretty good at going to bed. She's been happily put to bed by both my mum and my step mum. Next weekend will be the first overnight that we're both away- at a wedding. My sister is having her, not sure who is more nervous.

I've woken up feeling all anxious today. Not sure why. Actually, I am, lots of things I guess. Sky dive 4 weeks away and I'm still not at target, so I'm about to embark on a crash diet that basically involves dry toast, grapefruit and grilled chicken (I know I know, not safe etc, but this really will be short term and I'm prepared for the yoyoing effect of crash diets, I can deal with that afterwards). It's the diet they put people on when they need to lose weight fast for an operation apparently so can't be that terrible. The interest free period on my credit card that got us through the last few months of maternity leave has come to an end and I forgot to balance transfer so I've got that icky feeling that I'm spending pointless money on interest until the new card comes through (I know, stupid position to get self in. It's fine, we'll pay it off eventually, just feels a bit suffocating at the moment). And it's back to work on Monday, and I HATE this term- anyone that has you believe it's all videos and games is having you on, it's the worst term of the year, the kids are mental and senior team have loads of time on their hands so suddenly think of loads of things for us mere mortals to do.

And I still don't know where I am with DH. I can't really say more than that because I'm a bit scared to verbalise it. But things just don't feel great at the moment.

Anyway, off to soft play idiot this morning which at least gets us out and about, and we have a planless weekend coming up which is a relief as we're so busy at the moment

Gerry sounds like you're under an awful lot of pressure. I hope soft play isn't too torturous.

Plonk Joss Whedon was the chap behind Buffy the Vampire Slayer. And coffee is vile muck. So vile that for nearly a year I made the man go and drink it in the garden so I didn't have to smell it. I've relented now, but he happily switched to tea in the meantime. Ah, tea! I get through gallons of it. In this house it's known as Mummy's Magic Wake-Up Juice.

My dad put DD to bed once, in May last year, when the man and I went out for my birthday. No one's done it since except for naptimes. But next weekend should be fun, Fartypants gets to sleep in a new place without me. The man's taking her to Shirebrook for his mum's birthday. I can't wait. I can have a proper hangover and a proper lie in!

Gerry let's have some positivity to help you feel better. When you started I was hovering around 16st 3lbs, and today weighed in at 15st 8lbs, so I bet you've done better than me! How much have you lost? It's worth celebrating even if you aren't quite on course to hit your target. And how much to crash off?

And I know what you mean about not wanting to verbalise. Doing so makes things much more real, doesn't it? If or when you want to verbalise, we're all here to listen.

Soft play was great, apart from the little shit darling cherub who nutted my pfb (I mean literally ran up to her and head butted her to the ground). The mum was suitably apologetic, very cross with her boy, made him apologise and took him straight home, so no AIBU being started here. Kids will be kids eh?

Ok stormy, positivity. When I started I was 17st, I'm now 14st7. A stone to go and 4 weeks...eek!!

I'm hoping I won't need to verbalise because it'll all go away, but if I do it'll be here!

Oh, and you're all wrong about tea and coffee. This is how it goes:

6am tea
8am tea
11am strong coffee with milk and sweetener
4pm tea
10pm peppermint tea.

Times are changeable, but this is roughly what everyone in the world should do to be happy...!

Good morning all you sexy bastards!

gerry that child reminds me of me as a wee one. Apparently, we were all once at a pub and another family were sitting at a table close-by. They had a little girl too, who was eating a packet of crisps. I smiled at her, walked up as though to go play with her, pushed her over and snatched her crisps. I am a darling. Hope DD is plotting her revenge as we speak.

Also, congrats on the weight loss!!! That's incredible. Well done you

I had an 8am tea today plonk I love tea. Tea makes me happy. I've got a hot chocolate now. Have I blown all your minds by having an evening drink midday??

eco the app was working for me last night, not tried it today. I love that you all dream about me. I like that I invade your subconsciouses...that surely isn't a word? stormy help?

DS has been put down to bed by both my mum and MIL, and probably DSis, quite a few times. The boy is like his mother, he doesn't care where he sleeps, he just wants to sleep.

I am now a lone parent until Sunday afternoon. Well, I say lone...we're off to DP's grandma's for dinner tonight because Grandma dinner is the best dinner, then we're going to a wedding tomorrow and DS is staying at my mum's at night so...I've actually got quite a fun weekend planned.

What are the rest of y'alls plans?

Subconscious minds is what I'd have said.

Two and a half stone lost! That is bloody brilliant, Gerry. Another stone in four weeks will be tough. Have you got any limbs you could cope without, and a hacksaw? Whether you hit your target or not, you should be VERY proud of yourself!

Plonky if it makes you feel any better at 8 weeks before I was pretty much in denial about the whole thing, and was no longer speaking to the caterers because I wanted to just order something of their menu and they wanted me to drive all the way out to the venue to taste stuff. Like why? 6 weeks before I was in NY on business and in a mega sulk about it, because who wants to be in NY when they could be at home with their DP (in my defence I was young and in love.... and obviously had no clue). About a month before I got my arse in gear. So on that basis, you've got ages.

Gerry bloody hell woman you've done brilliantly. Whatever you manage from now is incidental in the grand scheme of thing. 2.5 stone!!!!! That's nearly 2 toddles!!!

As for DH, can I be so bold as to suggest now really isn't the best time to be making any fundamental decisions on that front. I think the stage you guys are at is probably one of the hardest in marriage, as you've been together long enough for the honeymoon period to have worn off, but not long enough for either of you to have attained your career goals, or reached the comfort of the financial stability of middle age. Throw in the massive adjustment that is the first year of parenthood, and you've got the potential for a bit of a wobble.

The diet won't be helping either. I have a tendency to not eat when I'm stressed, and when I haven't eaten enough my mood goes pretty black and everything about DH drives me half demented. That's normal I'd say. Bodies don't like being short of anything, be it food, or water, or even emotional support, and they tend to give up on us when they are.

Do you think you'd benefit from a bit of a break from the day to day? Maybe spend a weekend at your mum's, so you could put your feet up, or do a bit of work prep, whilst dd played with granny and chased the dog. Sometimes it helps to break the routine, and I'm sure your mum would love to see you. Failing that come over to mine and have a moan! I have tea, and no chocolate

Stormy enjoy your weekend off. You'll miss her you know! I'm totally ok with dolitoddle not being here during the day, but at night... too weird.

Oh and if I'm two years younger than the man, that makes the man exactly the same age as DH. How's about that! We're all old

Plonky is MrsSilliestNameEver taken? It has a certain ring....

As for me, I have just been for a swim, and the water is so warm now my feet only went white then blue. We're past the purple spotted stage. So that's good then.