November 2012 - Walking or not walking, talking or not talking, any other skillz?

[StuntNun]

Previous thread: www.mumsnet.com/Talk/postnatal_clubs/2000561-November-2012-The-exciting-all-new-all-singing-all-dancing-fred

We have quite a range of ages and they each develop at their own rates... so what can your toddler do?

Big hugs evil. You're amazing.

Isles good luck in new home. You are amazing too.

PP totally natural thing to feel. You are also amazing

Whole quiche are amazing

PR can you PM me how? Drives me when I see it cos I don't know how!!!

Also hey fruit best to just totally get stuck back in. We all need to dip in and out sometimes. Good to see you back!

kyz would prune juice help a little? DD always steals her Granny's morning prunes, with, ahem, extremely effective results.

eliza rooms sound lovely. Enjoy the owls while LO doesn't have too much ability to object! I am waiting for the day crocodiles and giraffes become Disney pink!

S just woke up, sat up, crying a bit, pointed at the wardrobe and said "dat, dat" insistently. So I said, "yes, that", laid him down and he's sleeping again. Bless. Love this age. He also said "Ta" really clearly and totally unprompted when my Grandma gave him some cake at the weekend.

:( re: feeling blue on your birthday

happy birthday chasing

Sorry chaps I have not been v attentive today. Let me see if I can channel kyz

evil did you once say about xp, he was a bit aspergers? Was it you? Because I think people with aspergers don't really feel emotions I. The same way as neuro typical people do they, it is all very black and white and practical. Which is prob why it seems that the 9 years mean nothing. Is very very hard and lonely for you I can sympathise. But, yes, you so have done the right thing. Like pr says it will come back to get him one day the same thought keeps me going daily

pp and gt you are not bitches you are normal. It is draining loving and caring for a toddler 24 7 and who doesn't covet 24 hours to oneself, possibles with the man of ones dreams a boozy dinner and a lie in.

I am lucky as I have Tuesdays when the boys go to nursery and DH takes them out for breakfast Sunday morning and MIL comes in most Monday lunch times and I go to a ladies book group for an hour.

chasing yes there is a point when you end up with stuff coming home from nursery every day and you wonder wtf to do with it! Top tip...... I had a photo album thing to stick in memorable stuff like Mother's Day cards etc from nursery. For regular day to day stuff I bought those massive portfolios (like for when you are doing A level art) and kept anything I wanted to keep filed In one of those, because really, it gets ridiculous and you can only stick so much up. For that I have one of those boards with a peg and change the masterpiece every few days.

Anyway I hope you are feeling a little better now your words cheered me up today. Thank you. X

kyz I am glad you are all pootastic in Your house!

fatima really you have to follow your heart. All I can say is, and being very very honest, the gap between my DDswas 2 years 3 months and I found it v hard because DD1 was at the height of toddlerhood and she was quite a demanding toddler. So when I had DS1 DD2 was 3.9 and it worked so well she was great, it was so much easier having the girls older and so much more self sufficient. So we planned to try for number four ASAP and have a short sharp shock, having them v close together but I wanted to avoid falling pregnant and having that 2.3 gap again so I thought I would stop trying for a bit. But in reality I couldn't stop trying and my gap was 2.3 again. but it has been different. So just go for it they are a blessing whatever and whenever they come along. The most important thing is you feel healthy and happy and ready to welcome a new addition into the family.

O is being v trying at the moment. He is whining and crying pretty much constantly and we even have dramatic flinging of himself in the floor with his head on his arm if I won't let him have the mop/have the broom/play outside longer/go in the fridge and the list goes on. What on earth? None of mine have ever done this before I am dumbfounded. And very very tired. It is a long day at the moment.

zamboni you too are amazing

prexactly what was it you did nothing showed up on my screen. It just looked like this....

.

Sort of.

Thanks sophia.

fatima I wanted a sibling for DD. I wanted her to have something I value for myself. I didn't want to be a mother of one. So when I didn't get a promotion I deserved (how many of us?!) I thought I may as well try for no2. S is 21 months younger than DD. That was hard. An older toddler, like DD now aged 3 might be easier, they can understand and entertain themselves better. But now S is getting older, they are delightful together.

evi you're amazing xxx

Sophia I think it's more that people on the autistic spectrum don't recognise their feelings or express them appropriately. The people I've worked with over the years certainly felt things, often very strongly, but weren't able to share them which built up into inappropriate behaviour - aggression, chewing, verbal and physical tics, controlling their environment in some way like only eating certain food or wearing certain clothes... For an undiagnosed adult on the spectrum then the lack of ability to predict the behaviour of others - especially someone who has previously been compliant - could well mean that they shut down all connection and focus solely on the practical and predictable. It would be a coping mechanism.

It's very easy to say "Oh s/he has ASD that's why they're a cunt". But actually, some people are just cunts. The vast majority of people I've met with autism, particularly those that are on the higher functioning end (verbal, able to cope within society) are overly keen to try and fit in and treat the people they meet with the utmost respect.

OK, that was waaaaaaaaaaaay more than I intended to say lecture over sorry there is a tendency on MN to ask if an abusive partner might be on the spectrum though, as if ASD = Controlling Knobhead automatically

Yes all looked a little blank on my screen too, PR. Can only assume was a masterpiece of MN imagery?

Belated happy birthday Chasing. As others have said, the cards will come in later years. F has already started to bring little splogy works of art back from nursery. Have you got any further in your nursery/cm hunt?

Eliza good to hear the house is comig along. When we moved, not last time but the time before, dsds room was the 1st that was decorated, unpacked etc. I used to go in there and shut the door on thew rest of the house, and give myself a moment to remember that it would eventually all be ok! Stunt, (hugs) - living in an unpacked house is awful so you have my sympathies. Happened to us on the most recent move as F was so bloomin' early.

Where is Det lately? Have I missed her posting or has she been quiet? Am assuming work and life are busy.

YW booo for refluxey nights. Have you had any thoughts about when you'll stop feeding the wee dude? I remember you mentioning it a while ago in relation to early labour

Evil and also to Sophia

Not sure what happened to bedtime tonight. F was having none of it. She's really struggling with her teeth at the moment, bless her. So we're now camped out on her bedroom floor. Might attempt a sleeping baby photo!

[[
]]

Damn, I've forgotten how to do it!

You didn't go on pp tis fine! you articulated it better than me. I know what you are saying one doesn't necessarily equal the other I agree. I just thought evil had mentioned that at some point. Could have been someone else though.

Hope you are comfy on the mattress bp xx

BP he is on his countdown. We're weaning after the in laws come up for Easter (would like him to still be sleeping thru whilst they're here and I can pretty much boob him unconscious in five minutes so it will help ensure everyone sleeps). Once they go DH is taking a week off so he can look after J and I'm going to bugger off for a few days. I want it done by the start of the second trimester. He can handle me having some dairy but not every day. I think it was the fact he spat up his meds which made last night sore for him. Still I'll keep off dairy until Friday just in case. Am on massive doses of calcium and vit D so I don't need the dairy per se. After all there's millions of babies born in China every year where most folks think eating dairy is dirty! But yeah I'd happily scoff a big yogurt right now....

Thanks Sophia it's a bit of a bugbear of mine. I was thinking about this earlier - R's big cousin has Autism (pre verbal etc) and it's the main reason I would choose nursery over a childminder for him if we get the 2+ funding - I want him to know children of all levels of ability, and be understanding of that. I often encounter people, particularly of my parents sort of age, who are scared of "all these autistics" just because they've never met a person who has that diagnosis. Actually, dn is the first person with it that my parents have met and other than being privately disapproving of some of her more destructive behaviours that sil wasn't very good at preventing in their house they think she's wonderful.

OK, what's everyone's dearest wish for their Nov 12 baby? And other kids if you've got them.

I want R to be a tolerant and understanding person, comfortable talking to people of all ages, races, creeds and levels of ability. If I can give him that, I'll feel like I've succeeded at parenting.

That's really lovely PP

Despite probably going to be a giant of a man like his father I want L to be gentle and kind. To treat others how he would want to be treated and have the same silent strength his father has. I most of all want him to be happy in his own skin. To never stop laughing or loving and to come home for Sunday lunch regularly!

:)

Right, must go to bed!

Evil sorry you have had (yet another) shit time. It is such a hard thing to go through, but believe me I appreciate my mother so much for what she went through and you have been strong and amazing throughout and will reap the rewards in years to come.

Same goes to all those who've dealt with hardships and extreme circumstances but I was particularly thinking of Evil today.

PP I feel the same about L getting a good mix of people - growing up with an understanding that people come in all shapes, types and packages, being tolerant and kind and not afraid of what his own quirks and differences may be.

I wish I could remember who said this but it was about what one piece of advice you'd give your children and it was this: Be Generous. I love that, it encompasses so much and so I hope that's what I can pass to L.

This may come across wrong.

The family in law are quite vocal when judging ppl of other back grounds. Fh is not. Bil&sil and i have had arguments about this. They would disown their children if they married out of religion. Caused quite a row when I stated I would always be there for my nieces/nephews.

So I want my sons to be accepting of everyone. Not to be scared of bringing their partner/s home to meet us.

Also a big wish of mine is for them to be able to play an instrument.

I hope to have a son who grows up feeling confident (the right amount), comfortable in him self and to be interested, regardless of what. To have an interest or passion. To be fair to himself and others too.

I hope that they are happy and kind, accepting and humble, that they follow their dreams and are true to themselves. Like pikz I hope they are often home for Sunday lunch, the Sunday papers, good chat and a bottle of wine.

It's just 4 asterisks in a row

I hope for my girls to be independent and take no crap from men; to be able to cook, budget, and do their best in everything they do.