December 2012: Now they're all 1

[Barbeasty]

We needed a new thread!

Can you turn your phone off? How dare he be texting you that!! I'm on your behalf. Yes he def doesn't get ds for over seven hours tomorrow lots of for you

willyou. You sound like you are doing amazingly well. I'm so sorry this has happened. As you say, be prepared that it might hit you later but while your feeling ok might be a good time to think about some of the practicalities - access, finances etc.
Poor ds beasty
Found out today that I will have to work late on my birthday next week and be stuck interviewing all day. Splendid!

That's so unfair willyou. Clearly he still doesn't really know what he wants. I'd be tempted to tell him not to contact me again until he does (although I know that's not possible with ds). Absolutely cuddle ds all night long if you want to. That does seem like a long time away from you just now. Go with whatever you are comfortable with for now. Poor you.

That's rubbish WL. Can you make up for it the day after?

Ds is much better although still has a temp, not a fever though.

That's no fun WL. Just don't schedule a fast day that day so you can have a nice birthday tea.

The message has done it. First I was angry now I'm just crying my bloody eyes out in the bath. I was okay because I know in the long run everything will be fine. I'll be happy, DS will still get to see his dad and the world will go on turning. But right now it's fucking shit. What an absolute bastarding arsehole! Thank Christ I didn't let him talk me into another baby or I'd be pregnant, with a toddler, being dumped.

Oh bless you. Your attitude is spot on. You know in the end it will be ok but for now let yourself be sad, angry etc.

Absolutely will not fast on my bday and will have cake for breakfast, lunch and tea!

So sorry willyou but sounds like it's been a bit like limbo since the first time he left & came back so maybe better this way in the long run so at least you know where you stand- although will feel awful in the short term.

& can't believe he's texting you that he misses you too!!! I'm angry for you. He can't have it both ways!!

I know, I'm ignoring. Nothing I text will change anything so there's no point saying anything.

Oh Willyou he sounds like he's being a selfish fucknut! He definitely shouldn't be texting you. As you say he needs to spend time at his mums to see how wonderful his life is with you and also so he can get his feelings in order. I hope your enjoy your cuddles with DS tonight. Could you maybe go out for a pub lunch with your parents tomorrow it may take your mind off things for an hour or so.

Beasty, Poor A i hope the swelling goes down soon. We find H is very injury prone as she is always running full speed into something.

WL, cake for breakfast is a birthday staple sorry the rest of the day will be abit rubbish though.

Work has been so busy tonight, but my boss told me she had noticed that i am always restocking or cleaning up if it was quiet and that she appreciated it. She made me a full victoria sponge cake on thursday as well, i think i may have the best boss ever

Oh willyou I'm so sorry about your dp. I do think he sounds like a bit of a limp idiot and the texting is definitely best ignored. Hold on to ds and just know that you deserve so much more. And lean on friends and family as much as possible.

wl CAKE. And cake. and more cake that's all I have to say about that..

Glad ds is getting better spotty, O is better this morning after a filthy cold but dh has it even worse so have dispatched us both downstairs. O is pounding away on his grandfather's electronic keyboard (thankfully turned off so no mad organist yet today..)

hales your boss sounds awesome.

How are you doing this morning willyou?
hales what a lovely boss you have.

Babies are so gross - T just sneezed on my leg and then licked it off! Will remind her of that when she brings her first boyfriend home!

Hope you got some sleep WillYou

Hales that's lovely! My boss is a wanker an acquired taste

Hardly got any sleep. Dd came into our bed at 2 ds woke at 3 and 5.

WL that sounds gross, but i probably would of laughed.

Utopian, i hope you DH is better soon.

Willyou, how are you feeling today?

It's actually verging on hot here today. Think we will all just be wearing t-shirts after lunch, best get the sun cream out!

Oh Willyou that's really shit, we're all here for you. I hope you are ok today.

We have had a crappy weekend. DH fucked off on a golf weekend despite me and DS being really poorly and couldn't even be bothered to come back early today to help out. Grrrr.

I think I'm going to book a spa weekend so he can see how hard it is to look after him and keep him entertained on your own. Ladies with 1+ kids I honestly don't know how you do it!!!

I'm okay. He came and took DS swimming and brought him back after lunch.

He wanted to come back but I said no. I think even if in the long term it can be worked out etc, he needs to be at his mum's and work out what he wants/feels is missing from his life. I cannot do this again so it has to be the last time.

He'll be having DS Monday night (as that's the night I usually only get in just before bedtime. And then I'll meet him at nursery as my car is fucked and it's booked into his work for fixing. I'd book it somewhere else but i need

It done quick and I don't know anywhere else that won't rip me off.

It's a good job you've got your head screwed on WillYou as he's well and truly messing with you

I know. He is mr overreaction, he isn't happy so he jumps ship, he goes to his mums n realises he's miserable so he wants to come home. I've told him to think about it long and hard for a good few days and come talk to me like a grownup.

I'm coping because I don't think he actually means to fuck me about. I think he's just completely fucked up by his own less than ideal childhood that he's never ever dealt with. (I know this makes me sound a mug but I'm really not excusing him, he's been a twat too).

His weekends up to the age of 11 were spent sat on the pavement outside the pub while his dad got wankered all weekend. After 11 he was free to fend for himself. I think the fact that you're supposed to spend a lot of time as a family and how hard family life actually is (when done right) has come as a massive shock.

We'll see what happens, he's at his mums anyway, I asked him to go at about 4ish (he'd been here from 2) as it's bloody exhausting trying to be neutral. I spent half my time wanting to beg him to come home and half my time wanting to boot him in the knob

willyou big hugs!!! He is being a total dick splash and I think you have the patience of a saint!
If his childhood was that bad he really probably should seek some sort of professional help otherwise he'll never figure out what people really expect a "normal" family to be like.
How you didn't boot him in the bits I don't know. But your DP does remind me of terminally miserable ex. I'm sorry I have no help to offer but I'm here if you need to rage :)
I understand and agree he doesn't mean to be an arse; but that's not your problem. You need a DP who you can rely on and trust in every situation.

hales a boss that makes you cakes sounds awesome! Very jealous! I'm going to ask DH if he is in yet so mood for cake.....

DH and I had an awesome dinner out last night. It was so good to have adult time with him in a nice restaurant with nice food and nice service. I honestly cannot remember our last dinner out that was so..... Grown up :)

Glad you had fun Utopian. What did you have? Do you get morning sickness?

I booked a nice restaurant for last night - funnily enough it never got used!

I think I've got all this patience as he's been Mr Reliable-loves-me-to-bits for 10 years. Seriously in that time there's never been 1 fight that lasted more than a couple of hours (probably in part due to him bottling stuff up). He's not tight, would spend his last penny on DS and I and has frequently backed me up in situations against his family/friends etc. The current twatdom is totally out of character, so I'm being understanding to a point!

He's had his last chance though and I'm still not sure if he can make this work, but I will probably give it a try. Once he's sweated a bit longer.

Oops I meant Nutella and I would hope you'd be past the morning sickness point! Bleugh bloody mashed up brain!

willyou if it's family stuff that's messing him up he really needs help - IMHO family stuff leaves the biggest darkest marks IYKWIM. It is really hard. I think you are being amazing!

We went to a Syrian restaurant - which isn't really different (I think) to Lebanese and occasionally Persian or Turkish food. It was pretty tasty.
I'm very lucky and haven't had morning sickness but this pregnancy I have been ill a lot. Any kind of cold going I get it. :( I'm well at the moment though :)