November 2012 - What are your New Year's resolutions for your baby?

[StuntNun]

Previous thread: www.mumsnet.com/Talk/postnatal_clubs/1937565-November-2012-The-run-up-to-our-babies-first-proper-Christmas

Yes Ditsy you have to keep putting him down to sleep whenever he gets up or leave him standing and let him sort himself out. If you're going to try that then I would keep him up an hour later so that he'll already be tired when he's going to bed. Sleep training gets a bad reputation because people assume it means leaving your child to cry. But there are lots of different methods and you can still be responsive to your child. We did controlled crying with J but one night his crying became hysterical so I brought him into be with me, we only let him cry when it was clear that it would only be for a short while. Now we've established better sleep patterns we leave him for up to five minutes to give him a chance to go back to sleep by himself. If he cries for five minutes or he starts crying up then we go in to sooth him.

That said I'm clearly no expert on sleep as J is still waking us up several times a night.

I think we are going to have to do some sort of sleep training aswell. A is very much a cryer upper, but she has developed some terrible sleep habits, that are my fault. Something needs to be done anyway.

yw that story is so sad, it's nice to know that your mil thinks you are parenting well though. Always nice to have that support.

R has so many different noises that could be classed as crying, so "controlled crying" really isn't, because if he's actually upset then i don't do it. It's more "controlled shouting, whinging and grumbling" in this house. If he's crying up, he needs something - to check up on me, a nappy, a drink, calpol etc. When that's sorted he lays himself down and goes to sleep. Sometimes he needs to hold my hand for 2-3 minutes while he drifts off, other times he bats me away.

Sleep training and Cry It Out are not the same thing, either.

zamboni I have found that my 4 have been earlier wakers too (not quite 4 am) I wonder if this is the nature of GF? DD1 and Ds1 are now sleeping later In The morning but dd2 and ds2 still are early wakers. There must be something of nature though too, I like to go to bed early and get up to make the most of the day as did my mum.

O has started going "uh Ohhhh " today. Is very hilarious.

Interesting idea sophia. Perhaps. I don't mind early myself - anything after 0530 is fine as we/I leave the house at 0700 and DH has always been an early bird too. But 0400 is beyond the pale!

Perhaps if J shouted or grumped or whined I could consider sleep training but he either stirs with a mutter and goes straight back to sleep or goes straight to heartbroken cries which have us both with heartstrings well and truly pulled!

At present with no training (unless you count DH going in to see if a cuddle will settle him before the boobs are deployed!) he is back to sleeping thru / one waking which I'm cool with as he usually sleeps in past 8 too. I know this is nothing to do with anything we've done however (as he has had two god awful months of sleep on the same routine!) but rather he's at a calm point reflux, teeth, and CMPI wise - his poos are finally solid again 2 months after the 12 month jags and his cough has finally fecked off and I'm only eating the teensiest amount of dairy.

Really interesting to hear the differences between the babies and also how different techniques which hadn't previously worked on some quichelings - now do. Am sure we'll have our share of tears at 18 months when I wean him . I'll be drowning them mostly in tiramisu and my fat jeans .

I've just noticed I typed A in my last post. I obviously mean S. I don't have a daughter 'A'

Tapioca pudding was a huuuuuuuuuuge hit!

1pint fluid to 2oz rice

Tin of coconut milk is 3/4 pint so i reckon 1 1/2oz rice? Or top up with formula/other milk. I added a drizzle of honey too, he liked it nearly as much as yoghurt

Went to ikea today. Got the girls a table and chairs (on sale at half price yay). V soon hoping to remove the highchair as LO is moving up to the next group at nursery and will be sitting at table on little chairs to eat instead of strapped into high chairs. She's too rough big for the baby group now.

DD1 has just announced that football is for boys. I suspect mil brainwashing involvement as she loves football usually. MIL had a go at me for buying her a book about trucks for her stocking. DD1 loves trucks, and the book. FFS.

I made the boys a chicken curry today, they both loved it, I had three meals worth. So, one eaten. One frozen. Would the final one be ok In A covered pot thing In The fridge till Monday do you think? I have run out of freeze able tubs and it will be Sunday lunch tomorrow. (It has Chicken thighs, coconut milk, sweet pot, carrot and mango in)

Whadoyouthink?

Yes it'll be fine til Monday covered in the fridge. If it gets to Tuesday sniff and use your best judgement.

I didn't need to sleeptrain O but she goes through numerous wakings when there is a developmental leap. She started to sleep through the night when I introduced a comforter, she now can't go to sleep without it at all. Not even at nap time. We have 3 of them, 2 are constantly in the washing machine, they smell after a day.

She is snotty again and the humidifier still has not arrived. Grrr.

How did you decide on 18 months for weaning YW? I have decided I want to finish bfing by 18 months but I'm under pressure from DH and my mum to finish now. It would be nice to eat eggs again but it's a double-edged sword. On the one hand it can be pain avoiding eggs but on the other hand I have a brilliant reason to avoid cakes, meringues, etc. I was a bit annoyed at the baby group when someone offered me a biscuit and I declined, she said "Oh yes you're the one that doesn't eat." I'm just paranoid about food where I can't check the labels. I don't have any particular reason to continue bfing or to stop so how do I decide when is the right time? My older two self-weaned at 8 and 9 months so I didn't have to decide for myself.

Rant alert. I don't often get this kind of thing out but this time I really need to

Why is my xh such a patronising twatting cunt.

And I hold my tounge and let him get away with talking to me like shit because In All honesty I am scared he will stop me from seeing the girls.

I sent him the possible dates for half term and he said he would discuss with the girls when they were settled back in school.

I said that's great in a smiley pleasant tone as always, but there is a deal on the flights which I would like to catch, I would check when it was finishing...

He sent a text back saying appropriate timing comes above getting a deal.

Making out that all I am bothered about is money, which obviously is important because he takes most of what I have any fucking way. I am just going to have a cry. I have ignored the text, which I always do because I am not going to risk an Argument because of the girls but when will he stop walking all over me?

I don't know, lovely, he's an arse

We've picked Faure's Pavane (choral version) for the signing bit, anyone got a suggestion for what i walk up the aisle to?

not a distraction tactic oh no not at all

sophia I know you didn't ask but yanbu. (((Hugs))) It must be really hard.

Sophia I don't have a good answer, but will hold your hand. I think most non resident parents who have an interest in seeing their kids, end up under the thumb of the resident patent to a greater or lesser degree. As you say, there is the ever present worry of contact being withdrawn. Hold onto the hope that you have shared before, that one day you will have all your babies under one roof xxx

Pidj I chose Pachelbels canon, a lovely strings version as opposed to a piano version. Twas what my mum had so was personal for me, but is a beautiful piece of music.

Lovely afternoon at friends. Took their dog for a walk, and saw the local floods, which satisfied dhs curiosity for weather fronts. Am so so tired now. Am having chocolate milkshake with a big blob of clotted cream icecream in. Yum.

Sophia love the name change! Oh love it must be so hard every communication with him must be such a heartache. Tosser!
Stunt what an ignorant moo! I hate the way women who can fill their faces eating anything somehow feel put out by someone else watching what they eat for the sake of their baby! You're doing a very kind and selfless act of love putting J's needs ahead of your pleasure. I'm guessing she belongs to the 'I'd die for my kids give up chocolate are you nuts' school.

As for 18 months well we want to have baby no. 2 in spring / summer 2015 and I don't want to tandem feed into pregnancy so that has us TTC when J is about 18 months. I don't think BF will inhibit TTC as my cycle is pretty much back to normal when he sleeps but my sister's v prem daughter turned up and the only real culprit was tandem feeding kicking off contractions. Given J was 4 weeks early and her DD was 13.5 weeks early - I don't want to risk it. I also hope that at 18 months J might have a bit more understanding when I explain that the boob milk is all gone. At the moment he'd just go mental! For our second I'd happily feed until 2 but I don't want a too big age gap and I want to scoff dairy! I don't want to wean before 18 months unless he does (seems unlikely) as he's so wee and needs the calories. After 18 months I'm happy for him to go onto strawberry coconut milk (!!!) in a sippy cup.

Thanks everyone. Thanks so much. I might have a big playroom but I haven't got all my kids it. thanks for the cuddles. I appreciate them.

I am determined to stay grown up and not argue. It is so hard not to have a massive blow out at times.

How about a bit of really moving Einaudi?

sophia You are the bigger person and you have obviously changed since you separated. He can make out and insinuate all he likes but know that he will be doing it through insecurity.

I have no idea what we walked down the aisle to actually. I had two pupils from school playing the harp and singing and I just let them choose the music. It was lovely. I also read a Pam Ayres poem as a vow

DH reckons it was cannon in D minor. But he isn't sure. We all walked up together - both sets of parents and then DH and I holding hands. Seemed appropriate.

Depends how traditional you want to be. I like Theodora of something a bit different.

This made me cry! It reminded me of some body image chat we had a few weeks ago. read it and weep