November 2012 - The run up to our babies' first 'proper' Christmas

[StuntNun]

Previous thread: www.mumsnet.com/Talk/postnatal_clubs/1927883-November-2012-Oh-Christmas-tree-oh-Christmas-tree-your-ornaments-are-history

Was a very very bumpy landing At Belfast City. I think, from what the car park minibus guy said was scarier to watch the Birmingham flight and, than be on it.

Heartbreaking to say bye to my lovely girls. We had such a brilliant girly time. I love them so much and am so proud of them. but one day I know we we spend more time together, I have An inordinate amount of faith In that.

But.

Always lovely to be back in my own home with the boys and the love of my life.

Conv between DS1 and DH

DS 1 "Are you having pizza?" DH is in charge of feeding the weary traveller.
DH "yes"
"I like pizza"
"We can save you some if you like"
"No thanks. where's Oliver?"
"He's is bed"
"Oh brilliant" races off to make most of sole use of playroom.

I try to remember not to say No too much but it just pops out - L calls my phone no-no-no... Yours are all very obedient though, L's greatest hilarity is when he knows he's being 'naughty' and he will check I am watching as he climbs on the sofa/goes upstairs/pours out his beaker of water, I can see his little cheeks move as he giggles to himself with glee. I love how much joy he takes in life but it makes my life hard work!

My aim is to teach him how to do stuff like get off chairs backwards, catch himself when he falls etc, so he can take a few risks safely iyswim.

Chasing that is great news and I look forward to hearing more when you want to spill!

I want more details chasing

M is very disobedient, calls the dog 'ah ah', shouts no at me with great regularity and points her finger at me with a certain scowly death stare whenever I dare tell her off. But she is asleep after just 20 mins of tears tonight. I am going cold turkey and leaving her to cry it out - only going in every 15 mins if she becomes hysterical. It worked tonight so I am just going for it. Surely it has to be better than 4/5+ hours of her screaming AT me? I really am on my knees. expects to see her at least twice in the next hour

She is also a very kind and loving wee soul. She shares everything with everybody, gives the best cuddles, high 5s my stepdad with a squeely 'grandad' and adores her puppy. So when I say disobedient, I really mean strongwilled.

I am struggling over what to get P for christmas. Suggestions welcome. arsenic, rat poison and a divorce have already been suggested

I think I've done something terrible! I feel awful now.

My mum was asking me about presents for my ex from Nicholas, and I think it set me off. Nicholas has been pushing my buttons all day, and I think that was the last straw.

Of course my sister brought over her new chap, and I think I focused my hate/rage/anger to him.

Evil

No in this house clearly means yes but with more naughtiness than last time.

Off to bed. L been asleep an hour.. This is more than he slept last night in total.

JJ Jonas does exactly that - he turns round, catches my eye and grins at me when he does something he knows he's not meant to! Serious stuff like being gentle with the cat he's very good at but 'Stuff' takes a hammering.

Isles fingers crossed for tonight. We just go with same time, same place, same parent doing the same role, same ish routine and minimising him falling asleep in one place and waking in another as that can mess with them, but I guess shift work doesn't allow that luxury necessarily.

We've just had first solo bath time while DH is away. Normally DH does it, or we do it together. DH's absence tonight appeared to rock the bear's world - lots of sad little "Dada?"s as he mooched around the bathroom looking for him, followed by fat tears .

I use uhuh, "not for R" and distraction more than No. I tell him a couple of times and if he doesn't stop i move either him or it and replace with something i deem acceptable. He has the odd tantrum which i laugh at ignore but is generally sunny natured unless he's in pain/needs a nappy/is hungry or thirsty. Once i fix what's wrong with his world he pootles on merrily. I'm cursed next time round

Pidj that sounds like us too. He only has 1-2 body popping 'oh the world is soooooo unfair' tantrums a day usually by me removing some coveted but dangerous object. At this age distraction works better than discipline IMHO. Did anyone read that article on the BBC news website about the US Christian fundamentalists using a birch rod on even newborn babies to break their spirit and get them to submit to parental authority!!!! I was . One thing I do want is for J to question authority. Preferably not mine though .

Hello wimmins and man!

24 hours of barely any interwebs!

First off donna! Hello missus woman. Fingers crossed number 5 stays put a wee while longer.

You dirty dawg chasing ! Sounds wonderful. Have fun and enjoy.

Your pork poisoning sounds awful yw. Poor you! I don't think I have ever had food poisoning and I am glad because it sounds miserable. When does DH fly out?

I am totally stunned that your mil has been discharged so soon vq. It is these times when being so far away is so hard. And I was impressed with your retort to your mum. I haven't heard from my mum for weeks not on P's birthday or on mine. We are both at fault though so it ways makes me smile when I read of others having tender power battles. It wouldn't happen without love and care.

Hello to everyone else. Oh! I saw jj. Hello woman!

Pass he's in the air en route from Heathrow to Houston now . He's had strong hints that buying me a pair of genuine Texan cowboy boots would be an awesome surprise / good use of time at the airport .

Donna I meant to say DC 5 good luck! How exciting. I think we've decided TTC in late spring / early summer. I don't want to tandem feed (cos of the prem risk) but J will only take the odd ounce of nutramigen so it needs to be when he's old enough to be weaned.

Love the 'discipline' talk! P gets "aht aht!", "gentle, gentle", and "not for babies" as well as a stern "no!" Very occasionally. I do the distraction and removal if two or three warnings aren't enough. For the most part actually she is pretty good. She really understands "gentle, gentle" and adopts a flat palm like for stroking. It is what we have used when she is near aging pussy but I can now say it for curtains so she won't pull them or the Christmas tree at the inlaws. It seems that very suddenly her cognitive ability seems to have clicked and she understands a lot more. Today she was stroking a bauble on the tree when it came off in her hand. She tried to put it back on herself before brining it to me. I gave it back and said "put it back, p" and she went back and tried again. She managed to balance it on a branch and yelped when it stayed put.

MIL said to me today "the bairn knows what she wants and there is nothing more wonderful" That might surprise her own children somewhat but her sentiment was not about p being naughty (I hope) but about the fact that she is fairly self-assured. I do hope she stays this way as I was and still am in many ways cripplingly shy.

And overnight stay with granny and grandpa was a swinging success. P slept 14 hours uninterrupted and kept them on schedule by such things as presenting granny with the tray for her high chair and pointing at it when it was tea time

That should be 13 hours. Not 14.

Cowboy boots or a penguin yw.

Ex-p has texted to say he has been ill and not to drop off n. He's asking for Thursday but do I have to let ex p see him?

Evil

Lots to catch up on :( and I am thinking tonight will be bad. I know E is a right nightmare with food atm but tonight topped all, he refused tea completely, and then refused his bed time bottle too. Bed at 7:30, eventual asleep at 8 and stirring and moaning. I gave calprofen in case of teeth. Am sure something must be wrong as he is rubbish at eating sometimes but will always drink at least most of his milk!

Anyway....

Sorry for vom again miss, how are things now?

Hey Fatima you sound busy! How about doing some handprints and getting a frame for them? frames are about £4-5 and the pictures wouldn't cost anything unless you need to buy the paint for them? Not sure if this is a bad idea, I am sure some paints are baby safe though and if you wash it straight off it should be ok for M?

Wasn't too hectic det really, and everyone enjoyed it so tis all good :)

Hey jims :)

sounds like a busy day pp glad you enjoyed your Ting

vq i know i am late but how dare you knock on doors. Cheeky mare!

hope your dh is ok pass, and happy birthday!

That sounds quite good re the nursery pr

Hope you had a lovely time at your parents bplp :) and grrr at your MIL!

GT I don't know how you do it I honestly don't!

Speaking of car seats I wanted a Maxi cosi Axiss for xmas. E was 12kg about a month or so ago, and it goes up to 18kg i think. He's quite big, but it's still worth getting right? I hate my babyweavers oneand like the fact the axiss turns to you. He is so heavy. My mum said can I not just get one of the 18kg+ ones (she has never done this, she didn't drive when we were little so knows little about car seats) and I'm pretty sure that is unsafe and not an option. She doesn't think it's worth replacing this car seat in any case and said I should wait until he's 18kg but that'll be ages surely? He's slowed right down now.

gosh yw hope you're both feeling better now?

vq your poor MIL, thinking of your family, bless you all :( Am glad she's got some care at home now

I can't think of a festive name but I want one!

oh dear re pics pr, as you say though least it was free

So glad you're having a good time sophia

aw stunt I can imagine, I also felt a bit pissy about my works do, I was made redundant too

E has books and a trike thing. GT E loves dear zoo, i've got him dear santa for xmas

nooooo peeking pp it'll be lovely to have a surprise

yay for your mum pikz glad you got some sleep

fab news chasing that's really great :D

yay for finished stockings too gt :D Dunno how you find time to fart never mind do bleddy stockings! You're some kind of superwoman methinks

gosh 140 miles isles! hope tonight is a good night

LOL at twanging tree yw brill. E is the same and doesn't like being confined to one room, he likes to follow me about doing laundry etc

some quiche babies sound so well behaved. E is not. 'Nuff said. He laughs when he knows he's about to do something he shouldn't, he repeatedly does the same thing, though usually only half a dozen times, he is really awful at mealtimes sometimes, he can have full blown tantrums. At the same time he is so loving, and cuddly, and very gentle with my sister, who is 8 months old. He cuddles her and kisses her and strokes her hair. He is so full of spirit and has the most wicked laugh, like it bubbles, I love it! He too only has a couple of tantrums a day, and usually because he can't have something he really really shouldn't have.

I keep trying not to say no, but I say it far too much still. He has been a monster the past week or so, really testing, and I have found myself feeling really shitty about it, like it's my fault. Maybe it is. But I don't know how to fix it :S

Hey donna lovely to hear from you! Glad to hear your pregnancy has been ok, ooooh how exciting!

So glad you've had a lovely time sophia :)

oh yw poor bear :( bless him. I read that article. Awful!

evil Hopefully everyone understands you're just a little stressed and haven't meant to be upset with anyone

Hey pass - P sounds very clever! E is understanding some instructions now and my siblings find it brilliant when he will go to feed his fish when told, or go towards his bedroom when it's sleep time. Or pick up the ball/car/teddy when asked if he isn't distracted. They are all younger than me so such little 'tricks' are 'cool' I'm told! They'd be in awe of p's skillz!

Well E is still asleep. That's good. But how long for? And what's wrong with him :( Anyway, night and love to all

Oh yeah Pass we do Kind Hands too with the same effect

Evi I'd be tempted to say it's the arrangement or nothing but I'm not sure where you stand legally etc. You have control here and it might suit you to exert it occasionally?

Hello!

Donna fingers crossed dc5 stays put for a bit longer yet, and lets you get Christmas out of the way. Did you find out whether it's a boy or girl? I can't remember if you said. Exciting though!

Isles I can't believe how far you had to drive to get M to sleep - mad! We have never driven F, as she wakes on transfer so would be utterly pointless, but have spent many a loooong night rocking her to sleep. I hope you can get things sussed soon.

Pidj don't peek! But am glad to hear that dp has got you something, after your recent worries/disappointment.

YW vom sounds awful, glad it all settled quite quickly though.

VQ how dreadful re: MIL. At least she now has some carers going in to help out - I don't know whether the system up there is different, but she may be eligible for night sitters up to 4 nights a week, if her outlook is deemed to be really bleak. As to what to tell the kids, I won't teach grandma to suck eggs, as it were, but would just say, honesty is the best policy so far as you are able (more so with dd1). When I was 7, my grampy had his 5th and final heart attack, and in the run-up to his death I was not told much, but remember overhearing my mum telling another mum in the school playground that dad and his sister had had to choose whether to put him through an op, or let him die. Much worse to hear of terminal illness that way. Whatever you decide, I hope you get some good luck soon, god only knows you deserve it.

Chasing oo-err missus! Hope things pan out well for you and the mystery man!

Lovely day/night at my parents, was cooked for and pampered, and F was entertained, lots. She particularly enjoyed slapping my dad on his bald spot . Also had her nativity play on Saturday morning - she was fine for about 2 minutes, but was clearly searching through the crowd for us. She spotted us, the cheeks turned pink, the lip wobbled, then waaaaah! Shortly after that, she met Santa. Evidence of that success on fb!! And now back home with a weary dh, Christmas tree up, puppy asleep after trying to eat baubles, cat curled up asleep. Lush.

YW My two sound like your sisters two .

DS1, well, I thought he was hard work and cried a lot as a baby. What the FUCK did I know. Yeah, he whinged, but definitely less than O! And he stopped as soon as he walked, O has not .

DS1 was generally gentle and loving. He was quite a little comedian, but not in public. He was shy at first, for maybe 10 minutes. Then would go and play with others. He isn't shy now - but he's still gentle and loving. As well as a lazy piggin' oaf.

DS1 would also do as you said. He was a late talker, but early understander. I never thought it was something I did, but was certainly chuffed that others would comment on how good he was in public. And he was good. He did what he was told. Never had a temper tantrum. If he had a fault, it was sulking. But that wasn't often.

I think you have enough information to make an educated guess on O's personality . Sadly no, ah ah, or distraction techniques make no jot in O's world. He gives not one shiny shit what I do or say . I'm hoping he will soon.

It's like he gets obsessed sometimes. And just can't help himself. The more I try and take him away and distract, the more he does it.

I just joked to DP that one day we should remove all the CD's and DVD's from the drawers and shelves in the living room, and put them in O's toy box. Then put the toys on the shelves and in the drawers . He'd still probably fling the fecking cd/dvd boxes around everywhere though .

Everything has to be removed as far as possible from O, unless you don't care about it being broken. DS1 didn't need any kind of babyproofing. I was looking at pictures of my old living room earlier this evening, and noted how many little ornaments, nick nacks, dvd/sky boxes, pictures etc were at child height. He just ignored them. Except the CD's!!

I am hoping consistency from all those who care for O will contain his more willful characteristics. I think if he was in the wrong environment he could certainly become destructive. I like to think he was born in to a home that would bring out the best in him. Fingers crossed we can guide him the right way. But like you YW I like that he is curious and hope he is just like me questions authority when it matters.

His good traits are that he is very confident, and likes people/other children. He doesn't seem to have grasped fear yet apart from a plastic frog for the bath and sellotape . He's very cuddly and loving, and seems to have the same comedic timing as his brother .

Chasing I need all the details you duuuuuurty stop out!

Lily I love that O loves her books! My O likes to look through his, but isn't keen on sitting still for a story still. :(

Evil I'd just say that you have made other arrangements for Thursday, so sorry, but no. He can't make his scheduled day, so can't expect you to drop everything to meet his every whim. My ex only tells me last minute when he is having DS1. Occasionally he gets a 'no' back. If I have made other arrangements, then he doesn't go. It's not my fault he is so disorganised and doesn't let me know further in advance. We are entitled to a life and to make other plans with our children. I got sick of it, so just say no if it isn't suitable. Not very often mind, but it does mean I feel more in control and able to make plans now.

6th wake up. I am now ignoring her as I can see on the baby monitor she is absolutely fine and just angrily shouting at me. Err, how long should I leave her shouting for?

In between my work out on the stairs I have spent the evening filing through my photos from the past year and putting together a photo slideshow to email to friends and family who aren't on facebook. I will probably put it on facebook too. It's a little shabbier than I would of liked I got slightly bored half way through but overall I'm quite impressed. I've spent most of the evening in tears though. The camera does lie - we all look like one perfect happy family in all of the photos (or at least the one's I have put up). I guess I've never snapped any of our arguments, and there is a large period of time with no photos... anyway, I need wine!!!

Evil I am bloody fuming on your behalf! Prick. I vote no contact outwith pre-agreed times, but is entirely up to you what you think is best.

O had some new foods today! Potato waffles and sausage rolls! Was chuffed as they are suitable for him! He loved them too!

He does love his food, and it's brilliant when he can have a try of something new that I hadn't thought of before!.

He was at his little friends 1st birthday.

I made him sandwiches to take, forgot them, had to go home for them, then he didn't eat them but ate everything else on the buffet .

Oh, I've just found that Mattesons smoked sausages (among others) are dairy/soya free. I'm going to get some for O as he has rejected most sausages lately, and I think it's the toughness of them. Hoping he might enjoy those, and was thinking of doing a tomatoey sauce with sausage and pasta for him.

I measured him tonight, lying down he was 82cm, standing 79cm. I think they use the lying down measurement until 2. He plots above the top centile still, but yet I don't think he seems 'abnormally' tall among his peers. And he still wears 9-12, with no signs of needing 12-18 any time soon.

Det I was thinking of your DS1 recently as L has always been a bit of a grump, very quick to cry but since he learned to walk he is so much happier! I remember you saying ages ago about E that he was like that and I really hoped L would be too. He just likes having some control in his life and gets frustrated easily so being able to walk has given him the freedom and independence he needed. He still has clingy moments but is much happier to go to others now, I think because he can make the choice when to come back.

O is obviously a different character but I am sure you will give him the right guidance (and babyproofing) to keep him on the straight and narrow

Yep JJ that's what DS1 was like. I think he just wanted to control his own world!

O is definitely not whingy or clingy in the same way as when he was little. It's more of an anger/frustration that he can't do or reach something, or that I won't let him do what he likes.

Or that anyone leaves the room whether you were interacting with him or not.

Or if the day of the week is the wrong one.

Or if mummy is wearing the wrong cuddly jumper.

You know. The usual.

I just think he's a mini stroppy teen to be honest!

I think it was the reflux that made him cry when he was younger. Along with the no movement thing going on!

He also hates being restricted in the pram. Unless we are on constant move. Same in the sling too. He just hates to be still. He's not outgrown that one yet...!

Right shouting has gone quiet. Project is 26 minutes away from going live on youtube. I want a shower but am terrified to leave the bastard laptop alone!!!