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November 2012 - The run up to our babies' first 'proper' Christmas

999 replies

StuntNun · 12/12/2013 14:08

Previous thread: www.mumsnet.com/Talk/postnatal_clubs/1927883-November-2012-Oh-Christmas-tree-oh-Christmas-tree-your-ornaments-are-history

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
HoLilyChristmas311 · 17/12/2013 06:56

Yey, flights are booked, we are coming to London on 4th June. Anyone wants a London meet up?? Or a New York one later in June? We are flying there too at one point. I saved up for that trip years ago, meant to go with Leo. Will be nice to take our little girl though.

Still feeling shite about the kitchen, I need to figure out what to do. In theory I could move the fridge there but than I need to build the dishwasher in and that would cost me a lot as than I want a new oven and worktop Blush. So I might just find that tile somewhere...I have no money for a new kitchen.

O says yes. Soooo cute.

Evilwater · 17/12/2013 07:18

Well I'm a bad parent! Sad
I've done the cry it out method. SadThis morning n shouted and shouted, so I've had to ignore him. I've tried everything else and it doesn't work.
He even shouted while having his breakfast. Sad

He's fine now. Playing with toys.
Evil

Evilwater · 17/12/2013 07:38

And now the tea pot is broken.

Evil

HoLilyChristmas311 · 17/12/2013 07:47

evil it's ok, you are not a bad parent. Sometimes I have to put o in her cot and let her scream for a couple of min cause nothing is good for her. That makes her so angry that afterwards she can calm down in my arms. Sounds cruel.

I can't let her cry though. I tried. But it breaks me. Thankfully she loves her sleep in the evening and I only had troubles at developmental leaps.

Evilwater · 17/12/2013 07:55

He just wants to be glued to my hip all the time, I can't even go for a pee. Sad

Zamboni · 17/12/2013 08:04

evil (((hugs))) S is very clingy to me at the moment. Wonder if it a phase at this age? Must be tough dealing with it on your own. FWIW - if you need to put him somewhere safe and get on with something then I would. I do with S. Doesn't make you a bad parent. Just do what you need to do.

Evilwater · 17/12/2013 08:13

I've popped him to bed. Seems to have settled.

I don't understand last week he was the best behaved child, this week like cujo. I hate seeing him like this I want to cuddle him, but I know it doesn't do him any good, he just gets more clingy.

Evil

PetiteRaleuse · 17/12/2013 08:14

At GP with LO for conjunctivitis. Anyone ever got the feeling they know their gp waiting room like their own living room?

PurplePidjin · 17/12/2013 08:19

cio is shutting them away from you until they give up, you're with him, he's just grumpy Brew

After all that he didn't start mumping till 5:30 and got up after 6 Xmas Shock

Evilwater · 17/12/2013 08:31

pr when I was with my ex. I was always up there, for every single green snott.

Thanks pr

ChasingDaisy · 17/12/2013 08:34

Evil it is bloody hard on your own. O is very clingy at the moment and I'm finding it tough. The developmental leap is making it much harder. But it is a phase. It will pass. I'm just aiming to get past Christmas right now.

Evilwater · 17/12/2013 08:41

Thanks chasing he has been pushing all the boundaries, and rules too. I'm glad he is going to be with my mum this afternoon, a I have my housing benefit assessment.
Right shower,

Evil

Sophiathesnowfairy · 17/12/2013 08:42

evil O can be like that, some days all I do is carry him around. Have confidence you are a great parent. Everyone gets weary, everyone shouts, no one is Mary Poppins just not many people are honest about it.

Amazing isles you have done a great job with bedtimes. Keep it up.

Sounds brilliant pp

ReindeerIsles · 17/12/2013 08:49

Big hugs evil It's awful when nothing pacifies them, isn't it?

After the 3.5hr slog last night she only shouted out a couple of times in the night - and judging by the video monitor she was either doing it in her sleep or I had fallen back asleep by the time I had got there. Who knows.

Anway, she was still asleep when i left this morning and P had come in from work and made me a nice breakfast before I got up. Good effort at least.

I got myself really flustered about my card again last night and stripped the house looking for it at about 1am. No sign so I have cancelled it and ordered a new one. Unlikely to be here before christmas - bollocks. Luckily today is payday Grin

MsJupiterJones · 17/12/2013 09:53

Apparently hangovers feel no worse than most other mornings - maybe the equivalent of a few wake ups but frankly nothing to the hardened sleep-dodger-owner.

Evil I know that feeling when you are feeling a bit shit and then something spills/breaks/gets lost - it can be overwhelming and you are also dealing with that in the midst of a massive life change. Go easy on yourself and do what you need to stay calm, if that means stepping away for a few mins then that's fine (in fact I think it is recommended in that situation). N knows you love and care for him and will calm down. You are a great mum and you've done a difficult and brave thing that will improve both of your lives massively in the long term far more than whether he has a bit of a cry sometimes. And a long way from CIO as a sleep training method.

We have a lot of clinginess here and although he is happier to go to others now he can walk, if I even think about leaving the room (esp when it's just the 2 of us) it is full on hysterics. I think the phrase 'it's just a phase' is key here. He is learning to be a little bit afraid of the world and that's important developmentally, however frustrating it is for us - and it won't last forever.

Wrt sleep, we haven't done any official training but if the falling asleep stage is going badly, I will leave the room for a couple of minutes and let him have a little grump, it does sometimes seem to get it out of his system.

StuntNun · 17/12/2013 10:05

Strides on to thread brandishing quiche fish in a threatening manner.

Right listen up ladies, gent(s) and lurkers, I'm only going to say this once. Trying CIO in desperation after nights and nights without sleep, shouting at your child, putting them in their cot when you just can't take any more, feeling fed up with them when you repeat yourself for the umpteenth time, forgetting to comb their hair before school, being grumpy when they knock something over... None of these things make you a bad parent, they just make you a parent. We're all human and we all make mistakes. All we can do is apologise, make it up to our children, and try and learn from our mistakes.

Love them, hug them, kiss them, tickle them. Read them stories, tell them about the world. Let them get messy sometimes. Provide them with discipline when they're naughty, comfort when they're suffering, an appreciative audience when they're performing and most of all show them you love them. And make that the backdrop against which the occasional 'bad parent' slip-up is a tiny thing. One bad day does not make you a bad parent so no more beating yourself up about it. Come on here, tell us what happened and then forgive yourself.

OP posts:
Zamboni · 17/12/2013 10:44

Well said stunt.

I'd also add that IMVHO, it's ok to make parenting decisions for the benefit of the parent as well as the child. In relation to sleep, I'm a firm believer of doing whatever you need to get some rest. Even if it's in the "creating a rod for your own back" category.

While it would be nice if S self settled and stayed in his cot all night, it's not happening and I'm not able or willing to have a battle about it. I still feed and cuddle S to sleep. Shock Every night. Apparently he can self settle for DH for naps and at nursery but won't do it for me at bedtime.

MsJupiterJones · 17/12/2013 11:05

Agree stunt and also zamboni about not wanting a battle. Quite happy to sit there with my hand on his face for an hour if that's what it takes (it does, often).

L seems to have grown overnight. He can climb on the toybox and reach the mantelpiece. That's just super Confused

They are doing the nativity on This Morning. Anyone else get slightly choked when you see slightly older children thinking that'll be ours in a couple of years?

Passmethecrisps · 17/12/2013 11:16

Yy to filling up at older children

Yy to giving ourselves a break

Yy to that being the bell and break time is over!

Sophiathesnowfairy · 17/12/2013 12:51

Cup of coffee, mince pie and a rant.

Please dog owners forgive me.

I have just let the house to walk up the road and deliver some
Christmas treats. There is a house opposite that people have just moved In to. They have a fuck off mahoosive got sat on the front doorstep and no gates up the fucking thing comes out to me barking really aggressively. Now, some people might say oh is only playing but when a massive dog comes towards me into the road barking I shit myself basically. And run off home crying.

I am so cross. It makes me feel like I can not go out for a walk, D1 would have been in bits.

Angry
Sophiathesnowfairy · 17/12/2013 12:51

Dog. Not goat. bTw

ReindeerIsles · 17/12/2013 12:54

Sophia within reason a dog is allowed to protect their property, but not to that extent! If it is a one off, fine. But otherwise I would get the local police or dog warden to have a wee chat.

Sophiathesnowfairy · 17/12/2013 13:05

I have just had a messages convert with DH. He said it must be doing it to other people too who are bound to complain eventually, quite a few people have a walk/ride up our road as part of a, well, walk, as it is pretty. Anyway, I was going to drive into the drive and wait till someone came out introduce myself and politely let them know what happened. But I don't even think anyone was in.

There was a chap down the road who had an Alsatian that used to come out onto the road a lot barking at people, including us on one occasion, and he got so fed up of people complaining he got rid of it. All he needed to do was make sure he kept his gates shut.

I think NI rules on responsible dog ownership are quite strict. But I will just let them know, nicely.

PetiteRaleuse · 17/12/2013 13:26

Can you stick a note through their letterbox when the dog is not around? I love dogs but hate owners who don't keep their dogs under control. I would also be wary of a barking dog, big or small.

I am so sick of colds and conjunctivitis. LO is snotting all over the place right now. And has weepy eyes.

Her presence is seriously slowing down my food planning. That and the fact I jst signed up to pinterest. Dammit.

AlwaysRightNeverWrong · 17/12/2013 13:39

sophia I would have been terrified as an adult. Although I'm not overly confident around dogs anyway.

I know I rarely post but I could really I'd with some hand holding. Yesterday tea time my brother took an intentional overdose of tramadol. He has been struggling,quite clearly, for over a year following a fatal car crash that he witnessed. He blames himself for one of the fatalities due to being unable to do anything to save a man that lived locally to our village. The court case was in Ocotber, in the weeks before and after him giving evidence he has become extremely paranoid, I have been encouraging him to engage in counselling with no success. On top of that M has a vomiting bug I feel mentally and emotionally exhausted