March 2013 - time to wrap them all up in tinsel

[StormyBrid]

Old thread here.

worse we're like Plonky on the timings - we keep mealtimes and milktimes separate. I spotted something in Evil Baby Whisperer that suggested around this age milk should be at the time you'd give a snack. Thinking about it, that's pretty much what we do - milk at the crack of dawn, 11am, 3pm and bedtime, food at 9am, 1pm and 5pm. It seems to work, and Fartypants is definitely in the process of reducing milk herself. Those middle two feeds, she's having about four ounces now.

How is the worselet on mush? Does she show any preferences? If we were sticking with baby led weaning we'd be getting absolutely nowhere. Savoury mushes, she'll try a mouthful then get distracted by the cat. Fruit mushes, she practically inhales. For a reduced stress option, can I suggest getting yourself to Asda? They've a hell of a range of cheap fruity mushes, and then at least you're not having to throw away purees you've spent hours lovingly creating.

Incidentally, six month old Molly may love her porridge, but all that means is that Molly's a total weirdo - porridge is vile. It's weetabix all the way round here, with mashed banana in.

eco hang in there, it does get better. How long until 37 weeks for you?

I am thanking my heathen gods we don't have crawling yet. Nappy changes with rolling are bad enough. Especially when it's a particularly horrific one.

Others have said it so much more eloquently. This is a place for support. End of.

Betty your pud sounds lovely. We've just had grilled bream with some veggies and pancetta. I've a hankering for something sweet but everything's off limits! Might just settle for a glass of Chardonnay, Harry potter and the last few presents to wrap. Oh and a cigarette

Eco wise words, and sounds like you had a lovely day. Nipple biscuits? Short skirts? Young lady I'm not sure where to begin with you I hear Dunstable is where baby Jesus was born. According to Alice in the vicar of dibley, at least. Let us know how you get on with the mooncup, I think I may invest.

Also, I have a lot (10 I think) of barely used Little Lamb bamboo inserts. And two bumgenius nappies. While I love the idea of cloth bums the reality is beyond me, so they're going begging - free to a good home.

Shattered thank you. It's very mild, most days I'm fine. Others are harder but I try to keep busy and have plenty to be thankful for. I think ill just grow out if it really. I struggle with two things : 1. Never wanting to leave DS but feeling trapped, and 2. Self esteem. Your hv sounds a right cow. If I were more confident I think I'd sack ours off completely.

plonk I knew dunstable was going to be great for something! you would probably make some cash for your nappies, there is a market for second hand. If that doesn't work out for you and you still have them by the time we do our Notts derby meet up I would love them.
Dad and sister are in Vale of Belvoir. Near Melton Mowbray but closer to Notts. Where is in the middle for you, me and something. I need to gurn at those delicious boys before too too long!

Nah you can just have em, they're sitting in the airing cupboard getting toasty.

I know the vale of Belvoir well, it was the edge of our delivery area. Notts itself is probably the middle for us all. Something and I are very good at getting lost in wooded areas around Nottinghamshire, and found the Attenborough Nature Reserve very pleasing :)

deal! Will be sure to wear tiny skirt and bring noel nips/boob biscuitS

Today I have been mostly watching from the sidelines, because I'm with pils, and if ever there is a time not to get involved its when you might end up transferring irritation at the in laws onto people who are too awesome to deserve it. But, as is always the case, wine and limoncello have softened the in laws edges, so now I can be nice. In the last 8 hours I have learnt that a) when we're looking for wise, we can look in directions other than that of our lovely worse, because today, eco did wise with the best of them. b) I actually think I love you all a little bit. If I ever doubted that you are more than words on a page, today has proven that you lot are a group of real friends, as real as my school/uni/work/antenatal lot. Today you addressed some seriously tough subjects, had some pretty big words, and came out of it even lovelier than ever. Dunno what I'd do without you all tbh. c) finally, and perhaps most importantly, I learned that Wolverhampton truly is a shithole.

Oh, and d) despite some seriously good education, I don't know if learnt or learned is correct. stormy? plonk? Or are they interchangeable?

Wow. A boozy night out leading to needing more sleep hangover and I miss sooooo much.

Parenting is hard. Fact. Look ahead ladies and see all the stuff yet to come - lets hold hands and run and jump into the toddler tantrum pool together. I sure as hell need you lovely (and delightfully different) mummies, to know i'm not alone.

That's all I can manage - i'm going back to bed before DD starts the cot boogie.

betty in hindsight I am sorry I posted the bit about your friend - Any mention of ill or dead babies just takes me right back to the dark place. Of course what your friend is going through with a sick baby is horrific. But from my perspective I would have happily sawn my legs off or accepted death myself if I could have held, kissed and cuddled DD alive for just a single second and have her hear my voice. With a stillbirth you a denied everything and yes you look with great envy at the parents of even the sickest babies and wish more than anything that you were in that position - that you had had that opportunity. I was pregnant and full of hope and then suddenly with no warning I was organising a tiny coffin and a headstone for a little person that I never got to even kiss properly or tell her how much I loved her on the outside. Anyone who gets to do that even for a short time is incredibly lucky in my book however difficult the circumstances they find themselves in an however short a time they get to spend with their little one.

I hope this explains a little of why I commented on your friend (although I am still sorry I did). I'm sure you must understand a tiny fraction of this given your profession. However I have decided that it is me that must leave this thread. Makes me sad because I have been here so long through the ante and post natal period and I will miss hearing how your little ones progress - I think my DH will miss the "march ladies" updates too! However I realise that just as in real life it is not possible for me to share what I experience and ultimately my time with DD2 is different because of my past and I make different choices because of it. Just one example with breastfeeding - when DD1 died I had desperate urges to feed a baby - any baby - I would cradle a pillow just to fill my arms. So it is no wonder that I was so happy to put up with 8 weeks of breastfeeding torture with DD2 with agony and bleeding (to put the pain into context I gave birth with no pain relief and it came no where near the agony of those first few weeks of feeding) just to establish the breastfeeding. However I don't feel I can say on here about how proud I am of still breastfeeding, of how much comfort and joy DD gets everyday from it and how amazing it is because I worry about offending those of you who couldn't breastfeed or chose to formula feed for your own very good reasons even though I would only be expressing my positivity about my experience which is coloured by my loss.
Just as many of you spend time explaining your choices to do cc, cio, ff etc etc so I have ways felt i could explain where I was coming from.

Anyway enough of my essay! Thank you again too all you lovely ladies for your support in the last year. I am in awe at so many wonderful mum's coming together for support and I will miss seeing you all blossom as our little ones get the tools to make even more mischief!

Btw eco I do the origami fold for the mooncup. I still do have to reposition it sometimes but it's getting easier every time. Plus think how small it is compared to your little one's newborn head! Good luck with it anyway.

Oh and a final apology for typos and grammatical errors with pesky extra apostrophes! - I am currently pacing the hallway in the dark with an ill DD in the sling to keep her asleep, typing on my phone with one hand and shedding a few tears. One day I will find time to proof read again!

eco I forgot - no lube required for mooncup. You insert it really low down - you don't push it in like a tampon. I totally cut off the stem in the end so that gives you an idea of how low. I think lube might affect suction too possible which you need for it to work properly.

rainbow you do not have to leave us dear woman. you can share your experiences just as we do and I am sure we will all be able to appreciate where they come from. the pain you must feel is unimaginable to all of us. we are unanimous in our sorrow for your loss and I am sure we would all agree that you have every right to access a support thread. in case you do decide to go I wish you every good wish for a happy Christmas with your dh and dd.

Rainbow there's no need to leave. And you cannery your guard down. I understand getting on with it and wanting to take it all in your stride but you don't have to be invincible. We understand your past and your decisions are yours to make, but that doesn't mean they're easy to live with. If you found breastfeeding hard in the beginning you should have felt free to say so - everyone else did! Betty has spoken about how she wishes she didn't always have to bf a 10 month old and that's fine. She can say it and well all just think 'yep, that sounds hard, she's needs cake'.

This is a place for support. Must go and give this wriggle monster some breakfast now. Hope your dd feels better soon x

Rainbow that post came from the heart, you are someone who has been through so much. I have huge respect for you, and absolutely understand where you are coming from. As Eco said the problem with forums, and emails, and texts, and all forms of purely written communication there is huge scope for misunderstandings. Not so long ago I asked for advice on how to heal a rift with my neighbour who was blanking me. Turns out she'd read a text I'd sent as passive aggressive, whereas I'd just fired off a question about something I thought innocuous. It's so easy to get the wrong end of the stick.

We'd be made up if you reconsidered. The lovely thing about this forum is we are all so different, all ages, all walks of life, different parenting approaches, and we all learn from one another. I have learnt a huge amount about babies and people. I hope to keep learning. I'd love if you stayed to be part of that.

Please don't shed any tears over this, you have shed too many in your life already. I can't imagine the level of pain you have been through. I am sure that if we had all met over a coffee and discussed our choices together none of this would have arisen. Isn't it said that 90% of communication is non verbal? The 10% we write down is but a tiny fraction of the story.

Festive hugs, if you decide to leave please know that I and I am sure the others on here are very sorry.

And on a brighter note to make you laugh.... DH and I are such rubbish parents that it took us half the night to work out that is wasn't teeth, nappy, hunger, wind or even general contrariness keeping the worselet awake. She was cold! Duh....

Rainbow, you don't have to go. You should feel proud of everything you've done with dd so far, I certainly wish that I was still bf, that I was selfless enough to cosleep, that my back could stand up to baby wearing. None of those things are bad. The thing you need to be careful of is if, in your pride, your wording makes the rest of us feel like the way we are doing things is wrong. I'll admit to having bristled sometimes when that has been the implication, however misconstrued.

But you know what? If I'd known everything that you've just written above, I probably wouldn't have bristled. I probably would have just thought you were amazing. As plonky said, don't feel you have to mask things here, I don't know about everyone else but I tell you lot more than I tell anyone in RL. Because this is where all the best , and is.

Gosh, here's me hungover for the first time in about 18 months and lots to take in!

Rainbow, as others have said and I have in earlier threads, I can't and frankly don't want to imagine what you went through. It is totally understandable that dd is immensely precious to you, and you are grateful to have the opportunity to 'suffer the hardships of parenting' as it were. I know there are others here who perhaps didn't think they'd have dc for other reasons, and all of us feel the magic I'm sure. But as you've said, it ain't always easy - even with an easy going soul like DS.

I'm sure we'd all hate for you to leave us, it's good to hear about everyone's progress and different approaches.

In some ways I think the message is that this is a support thread. Sometimes you've perhaps seemed to be supermum, and we'd love to feel we were providing support more actively through any bits that aren't that easy.

I get the don't focus on negative stuff, and try to practice it in life as much as I can. But sometimes it's liberating to let it go, especially in a safe place.

I hope we can keep being here for you, and vice versa.

Eco, nappies. Ours are mostly microfibre all in ones and still look great. No stains. Our night nappies are bamboo and a couple are slightly purple after I washed them with a new set of fleece liners in funky patterns which ran . Means they look a bit dodgy, but not poo stained. The days are getting longer so uv will get easier to come by. Would expect some sun to sort them out. Did the strip wash sort the piddly smells? Think I might have to do ours again next bout of teething as he starts weeing napalm (or something) .

Should have said , we have a Rayburn so dry on a rack in front of that. Prob not much help there...

Rainbow I am so sorry. Please don't leave. I have always thought of this as a place for people struggling but you are so bloody right, it should also be a place for people achieving amazing things.

I have been there many times telling people that they will never hold their beautiful babies alive and you can physically see the grief and the light going out and it is heartbreaking, and that must only scratch the surface of it. You have lived through a nightmare and it must colour every decision you make now with DD. You are brave and strong and so entitled to be proud.

As Plonky said I think I sometimes find it hard with you because you never seem to say anything is difficult, even though you must find it hard too, but I think now I understand why. A little part of you must feel you can never say or think or feel anything is hard when it is such a blessing and so much easier than even a percentage of how hard your grief is.

You have a very lucky daughter, you give her everything of yourself and with none of the moaning and whinging I project. The problem is that misery loves company and you always stand outside that a little.

Please don't leave. You are part of us and part of this wonderful group we have formed and I want you here, I want to remember that I am bloody lucky when you post and I want to hear about your daughter and her progress, and your crazy wonderful plans (and also about any fork related accidents because I think you're both brave and crazy letting her near what would be a weapon in this house).

I hope you read this.

^^ what Betty said

Aww gosh this has made me cry

Come on you lovely lot, let's move on from this.

DS has started grabbing stuff off spoons, so I feel we're about to ditch them. On the other hand he does try to clap with a hand full of food.

rainbow please dont leave. When I read your posts it reminds me that I should be a little more positive and that im lucky to have a gorgeous healthy cheeky boy. Im also keen to hear how your dd will be with her montessori style bed.

The beauty of this thread is we are all different and I love to hear how everyone is doing with their babies. This is my outlet to have a bit of a moan and share the great things ds achieves.

Grabbing food is ok, the worst is sneezing with a mouthful of food.

So how many presents are your little ones getting? I am obviously tight as can't see the point if spending much this year when I have to buy so much anyway as he's developing so fast and he doesn't care and the family have gone bonkers

DS has a rocking aeroplane and a music set with drums and maracas and all that. Oh, and Monster's University on DVD...because he's such a big fan...that one's from DP to DP

Not bought much for mini farmer for christmas , but my family have went totaly coco loco in regards to pressie buying for him .
i have a Rat problem ... its tryingto eat its way through the chicken hut hatch door to get into the feeder !!
10 Eggs laid today very pleased with williams hens
driving up to scotland on Christmas eve hope it does not snow

Gotta love those weetabix sneezes. DD's getting five books, a drum, a toy car, and a monkey. Today she met her cousins, who are up from Cornwall. The elder, at seven, is the perfect height to walk DD around. I think they had fun, and they only dropped her twice.