The J guide to sleep training the chronically unsleeping baby
First make sure there is no underlying health issue. Until the reflux and egg intolerance were properly medicated / avoided, J was waking in the night in abdominal pain so all we could do was comfort him until it passed. More recently however his symptoms were pretty well under control but his sleep was still poor. That awake for an hour or two in the night thing seems to be a common occurrence at 9-10 months so must be another regression.
Fix daytime naps - we started doing 'nap by any means possible' so in the sling, pram, cot, car, in bed with me. Anything so long as you have two long (very approximately an hour) naps a day. Naps after 4 or 5 p.m. and very short naps should be avoided. If J gets a ten minute sleep it seems to reset his sleepy clock and he then won't be able to go to sleep for another couple of hours even if he's tired. IMO daytime naps and nighttime sleep feed off each other so they are both equally important.
Where we were going wrong - not having a reasonably regular schedule of feed and nap times, I was feeding to sleep, DH was rocking to sleep and we were relying on the dummy to get and keep him asleep.
Where we were going right - prioritising naps, having a strong bedtime routine and a set bedtime.
What we changed - stopped the dummies at nighttime, changed the bedtime routine to stop feeding to sleep, moved the bedtime story to the cot, started controlled crying. We also moved his bedtime to a bit later to be certain that he would be sleepy enough to want to sleep. Over time we will move it earlier 15 minutes at a time but I want to see if it's working before I change anything else.
What we do now - try and make sure he had two naps of about an hour long in the day (9:30 and 12:30). If he doesn't get these or sleeps later in the day then I will lower my expectations for that night, e.g. put him to bed later, expect more awakenings, longer crying, etc.
Bedtime routine - bath (if he has one), PJs, feed somewhere light and/or noisy so he doesn't fall asleep, brush teeth, into sleeping bag, into cot, read Winnie-the-Pooh, kiss goodnight, lights out and leave the room. He protests at being put in the cot, calms when he sees the big red Winnie-the-Pooh book, and cries when left however he hasn't actually cried for longer than 2.5 minutes so we haven't had to do the 15 second 'check and console' recommended for controlled crying. He always goes to sleep on his tummy. I find the video monitor is invaluable as you can see he's tossing and turning to get comfy but not actually sitting up or standing in distress.
Nighttime awakenings - before 4 a.m. wait five minutes to see of he goes back to sleep, then do 'check and console' every ten minutes until he goes back to sleep. After 4 a.m. being him into bed for a feed then either return him to his cot or keep him in bed until morning depending on the time and whether DH is away.
It's only been four nights so far but there has been a dramatic improvement in night sleep but also he's more able to self settle for his naps. I still have the 'nap by any means' policy but I have managed to put him down awake for a couple of naps and he has gone to sleep with the minimum of fuss.
I hope this helps anyone else with sleep issues. We have done controlled crying with all three DSs but I would say that the time has to be right, your child needs to be prepared for it and be secure and pain-free for it to work properly.
I used the Troublesome Tots website for advice and to pinpoint where I was going wrong.