November 2012 - The first fearless steps and the rest of us hoping our babies remain stationary for a bit longer

[StuntNun]

Previous thread: www.mumsnet.com/Talk/postnatal_clubs/1833979-November-2012-Teeth-Dont-talk-to-us-about-teeth

I will absolutely be vetting anywhere that O will be staying overnight. But my instinct tells me that XP isn't actually that bothered. He knows I will create a safe home for him and he has seen the outside of the building. I think he just wants to spend more time with O as he is off work and I don't want to cause an argument for the sake of it but I don't know how comfortable I would feel with him here.

Chasing don't do anything you're not totally sure of. He's bloody lucky to get anything beyond an hour a week of supervised contact in a centre with a social worker present, tbh. I'm not sure I'd even let him have my address if i were you!

Ewwwww chasing I would feel uncomfortable about that tbh. I see the point, but do you really want to be alone with him in a private space? Could you get a chaperone?

I have loads I want to say to everyone but am struggling to get some child free, not knackered time to write it. It will be epic when I do!!!

I wouldn't feel unsafe, I think it would just be...odd, I guess. This is my home and my new life, away from him. We had originally planned to spend O's birthday together - I've got to figure out how to tell him that that ain't happening now.

Really glad to hear about Stunt's J last night, more of the same please!

Chasing did he say to you he had a right to see where his son was living or just ask to come round? If so that sounds like he is trying to regain some control and I would be quite wary of him. If he just asked to come round more casually, then fair enough but it would still be a no from me. When I escaped from my bad relationship, my new place (a room in a shared house) was my haven, I felt quite protective of it and was very picky about who came in (although I did let a nice young man come round a few times who is now DH!) - go with your gut instinct which sounds like a firm no.

Chasing what Jupiter said. The flat is your sanctuary, your new life after escaping an abusive relationship - don't let the abuser through the door as he'll try to spoil it for you, regain control or otherwise knock your confidence. He's lucky he's got unsupervised access and at most, should be content with photos.
The bear's finished his ABs today and is back on his solid food with a vengeance thank god! He and my sister's 25 month old DD were proper playing together today fighting over the same toy dumper truck and tea set it was hilarious! He takes no shit and neither does she what have we created?!!!

Hallo hallo.

You have made a ball of 'tude yw! And so they should be. Life's too short for being polite over dumper trucks!

Fuck him chasing. Say no. If he wants access he can get a lawyer.

What a week.

Long story. But it is all good.

Outdoor activities day today. High point was a small fiery red headed girl with a helmet stuffed over all her curls calling out of some tunnels "miss passme? *miiiiiiissss paaaaaaassssssmmeeeeeeeeee!?!?!?!!!"

Cue me running like fury in a panic. Look down escape hatch to see said child thrusting a hand at me holding a tiny frog!

"Ah found a frog! Save it! It'll get squashed"

So I did.

And I thought to myself I hope p is the kind of child who halts proceedings to scoop up a tiny frog and deliver it to safety

I have no doubt at all that P will be that kind of child pass

He just asked casually to come round. I think I'll say no. This is my home now and whenever we talk I feel tense, which I don't want here.

Lovely pass, I hope all the quiche babies are frog-savers.

Stunt x a billion - well done J!

That's it for now - not sure if this will even work fecking laptop

Good for you chasing you are making a lovely home for you and O, don't let anyone even attempt to spoil it.

Woohoo and we're back in business! Not sure what happened to the laptop but I wrote a couple of eeeepic posts only for them to refuse to be posted

Ginge not good to hear about colds or shouty nursery nurses. But great to hear LO is settling in at last, and especially good given that she is full of cold.

Det I second what everyone else has said - teenage friendships are often intense and fleeting, especially at the start of secondary school whilst they all settle into their niches.

Kyz I hope your brothers fingers are ok today, sounds v painful indeed.

YW yay for chocolate! Glad J-bear is feeling back to himself and literally fighting fit!

Chasing please don't let him into your home. It's yours and Os pad, nothing to do with XP, and it is the one place that is absolutely your safe place. There are plenty of coffee shops in MK, no?! He can take him there, or in fact wherever he desires. But not your home that you've worked so hard to get just right.

Pidj sorry to hear P fucked up. Hope Rs bum isn't too bad.

So in pigsty news.
The pox is finally settling. F has gone to sleep in her own bed tonight for the first time this week - admittedly propped up on pillows but hey ho. She hasn't settled before 10pm all week, and has spent the nights in bed with me. Reflux has been a total nightmare, lots of squelchy hiccups and mini-voms and she hasn't eaten a scrap of solid food all week. Glad the week is over anyhoo, very glad to have got to Friday in one piece!

Yay for sleeping through stunt

Yay for nursery sleeping peaches

Yay for broadband chasing and I think keeping exDP out of your new home is a good plan.

Yay for non- squished frogs too. I'm sure we are all raising frog savers!!

Glad you had a good break madame All that sleep sounds fantastic :) Must have been lovely to get away.

Last day of hols today. It's been lovely but DD1 is ready to go home - she keeps telling me she wants her own bed. Tbh, so do I :)

Glad F is improving bplp Sounds like its been a tough time.

bplp Glad little piglet seems to be on the mend, bless her. Well done for surviving the week.

Ah pass how lovely. I have no doubt P will be like that.

chasing Good on you for saying no. As others have said he is bloody lucky you've been so easy going about the access he has to O. IMO he has no right to go into home.

DH is out so am tucked up on the sofa with a cuppa and a cupcake. And also with the sound of rain pounding onto the window as the guttering needs clearing and its fucking annoying the hell out of me!.

Hello.

Lol at saved frog.
Boo at poorly lo ginger.

Chasing. Against the grain. You would want to see where lo stays. So I guess its ok for xp to want to. However with the history it's more complicated. And I understand why others are saying no and think its good advise.
However I just wanted to say IF you decided to let him come over, have someone there with you. Make it a collection only. Come in pick up Os things then leave. If it makes it easier say you and your "chaperon" are on your way out.
This is not me saying you should let him in, just a make sure your safe if you do.

They should really make a "scroll to last post " button. As I couldn't remember if I'd posted about my appointment today.
Mw today was really nice. However reassured me and FH and I that I didn't needed a sweep at this stage. Normal bloods and regular movement and convinced FH that going in labour naturally is the best thing for me and bump.
She was basically the opposite of the SHIT dr we saw was really kind and reassuring. And even said to me "you don't look happy, are you ok with everything I've said?" Which I was, just feeling exhausted so prob looked tiered.

Really hope I just naturally go into labour soon. Really nervous about knowing I'm in labour. I know many of you had said before "oh you'll know" but sil got to 6cm thinking she had heart burn and then gave birth with no gas n air and not a slight tear, oh if only it was that easy!

So much to catch up on!

Chasing I am torn over it. On one hand - it is your home, and he shouldn't (and doesn't) have any right to step foot in it. More so because of how he has behaved. On the other, I would want to see where my baby lived etc.

I'm not sure. Maybe it is something for the future? And I agree to not being alone if he does come over.

I haven't been to exp's flat, but then he lived with his mum for the first 3 years after we split up. So I knew where DS1 was. Now he is older, I am less concerned - because he is old enough to tell me if there is an issue. If he was much younger I would definitely be asking to see his room etc. Although I think a picture would make me feel at ease. Could you ask him why he wants to see where you live? Depends on his reasoning perhaps?

YW I read about J being unwell - could it have been the chocolate? I know you said he didn't react, but then you said he was poorly? I read this yesterday, but didn't get chance to post it. I will go back and read again as I may have got the wrong end of the stick here.

Stunt I have the biggest on my face ever! I want your secrets now please!

Peaches I think I would speak to the nursery manager and say the incident has upset you and ask that your children are not cared for by this particular member of staff. Glad LO had a better session today!

Thank you for advice on DS1. He's pushing the boundaries a hell of a lot right now. There have been words. I am encouraging him to invite other friends home. But not every sodding night. Which is what he seems to think is okay.

I got an eBay bargain tonight. £9.99 for a toy bundle. Lots of wooden toys - this one in fact. I am very . I also got a Scuttlebug for £8, which I am collecting tomorrow. I have spent £40 in total on stuff for birthday/christmas. And have lots. :) I love a bargain! Have bid on some peek a blocks stuff. And am watching a vtech toot toot garage.

Am planning on getting cheap gift boxes to put them in, then wrap with paper. As I will struggle wrapping them otherwise. And I remember at 1 how much fun DS1 had ripping the paper off! I think O will love it!

I need to go back and catch up more. I have missed lots.

He just asked to pop round to see us both. I was going to say no but then felt bad for denying him the chance to see where Oscar lives. I don't know if the thought has even occured to him. He rarely even asks after him anymore He has his first overnight stay in 2 weeks

I hope you are planning a lovely night out for you and non date guy taht evening chasing

Excellent bargain detective am v about the bargains you people get. I have someone bidding one euro on a brand new cacherel christening coat, that I was given and never used, no no big deal but it is worth at least 70€ second hand. Ebay is shite over here. That said I have dressed and prammed my two on similarly rubbish ebay bargains. But wtf? One euro for that? Tsk.

I was actually about to buy a toy pram for £9.99 on it's own! I didn't think I'd be able to find a non pink one otherwise. Then I find one in the bundle with other things I was going to bid for separately. I am very .

A lot of the things I still want for him are from Ikea. This means, Ikea trip needed soon! Yay!

Coats are going for quite a lot on eBay at the moment - well here they are. Surprised yours isn't. :(

Chasing DS1's dad doesn't ask about him at all. No interest in school stuff. No interest in anything really. .

Rarely texts him. Never rings him.

I don't get it. :(

It is so worth more than 1€: cgi.ebay.fr/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&item=271274923622&ssPageName=STRK:MESELX:IT&_trksid=p3984.m1558.l2649

It's gorgeous! Defo worth more than a euro!!

I love your username .

Before that gets reported I am not trying to sell it to any of you, as all our babies are too big and it is in France so won't post abroad except in very special cases ;)

The username has a long backstory, nothing to do with my current situation. I set it up about 10 years ago. Wanna hear it?

No? Tough shit.

So, when I left my xp a few months before our wedding back in 2003 I found a flatshare with an air hostess for air france. She was nice enough but very eccentrric and treated me, when she was in the country, as her wife. Asked me for help sewing buttons on her uniform, wanted me to wake her at stupid o'clock for her flights, but sometimes did sweet things, like do my grocery shopping, or my laundry, without asking. We muddled along for about 18 months until she got too demanding, ie texting me at all hours to get something out of the freezer for her and wondering if I'd keep her boyfriend, erm, busy, while she was away. Plus, the eccentricity turned into utter madness. So forgive me for an old link to my blog: pint-sized-rants.blogspot.fr/2012/08/a-rant-about-rubbish-landlords.html

She is number one.

Back then I didn't have a blog but did regular rants on email to friends and family, and nicknamed her Da Missus. My BFF who lives in Paris was in fact the person who replaced me as tenant, and got treated to the same kind of random behaviour. We bonded while I popped in to collect post.

I have enough anecdotes to fill a book, but this is why, back in the day when I was not married I gave myself the ebay moniker of da_missus. Voilà, a bit of PR history for you :)

Evening. Glad you saw a good MW today gt. I havr been thinking a lot about when l was in hospital having H this week (yesterday it was a year since l got takeen in with pre~eclampsia. The MWs made all the difference to me. With the consultaants l felt very anonymous and a bit powerless.

Glad to hear F is getting better bp.

That‘s great nnews stunt and madam that much sleep sounds like bliss.

Got to leave the house at 6.30am tomorrow and won‘t be back til 9pm (compulsory training course for work). Never left H that long so dreading it.

Got H‘s main Christmas prresent in Sainsburys today. A really big megablocks dumper truck with the blocks in it. Reduced from £30 to £20 and l can justt see him pushing it round and trying to ride in it. Babies are so much easier to buy for than 9 year olds!