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Post-natal clubs

Join our Postnatal Clubs forum to find parenting advice for newborns.

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Original poster

June 2013 Bebes (1)

999 replies

Olimoss · 01/07/2013 19:03

Including our friends from late May & early July!

Thought time for a postnatal thread.

So. I'm craving a nightly glass of wine already, week
5 of motherhood. Anyone else?!

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

learnermummy · 26/07/2013 08:05

Madame when Anna does lots of fussing on and off boob she typically does have wind or else is really just trying to get to sleep. She doesn't give up wind easily either and I'm not that patient!

Oli, don't feel guilty at all, it's only 2 days a week. Enjoy some time for you.

DontmindifIdo · 26/07/2013 08:05

olimoss - it'll feel weird to start with, but you are doing what's best for your family unit. IME they need someone at this stage, but with the benefit of hindsight after having DS, unless you're breast feeding, it doesn't need to be mum, they just need to see you for a bit every day. It's actually when they get a little bigger that they need you more, and that's when most go back to work. In fact, every year I think DS needs me more, he's 3.5 now, I'm seriously considering being a SAHM after this mat leave not for DD, but because DS will be starting school and I think he'll need me more than she will (it helps I use a v good nursery for DS so I know DD would be happy and well cared for there)

AmIGoingMad · 26/07/2013 09:01

Oli I really don't think you should feel bad about it at all! You're doing this with the benefits for your family in mind. Also- it's a nice phased way of returning/getting joe used to being with someone else by doing the 2 days. Then you're off for a lovely holiday with him too! It's the whole thing of us having to realise that this guilt feeling unfortunately comes with motherhood. And weighing up the time and providing for a great life for our little ones.

With the nappy sizes we ended up going straight for size 2 as I could see from the size of me that I wouldn't be having a baby weighing less than 6lb! We've had one or two leaky pees but they've been pretty good on the whole. Maybe it's down to baby shape as you said mrsbri.

AmIGoingMad · 26/07/2013 09:02

I agree don't mind that its when they're older that they could do with us being at home. Really wish financially that was an option here but unfortunately not the case

MadameJ · 26/07/2013 09:25

Well last night was much better, I let her sleep on me for most if the evening and she was much calmer and fed much more politely although she did wake every bloody hour during the night!! Thanks for all the advice x

Original poster

Olimoss · 26/07/2013 09:56

You are all speaking wisely and of course it is my own thing that I would prefer to know and be with him all day!

The maternity nurse we have is lovely and will probably care for him better than I can....but it's an education, you're right, in the guilt that comes with producing a new human...

Thank you all again, again.

OP posts:

learnermummy · 26/07/2013 10:01

Good luck Oli. The guilt is hard to manage but all will be fine.
Am at my wits end this morning. Anna screaming and refusing sleep. Boys arguing. Anna asleep in my arms now but will scream if I put her down. My backs killing me and I'm too hot. Want to cry . Sorry.

Original poster

Olimoss · 26/07/2013 10:19

Oh Learner, that sounds no fun at all.

I don't have other children to manage but we have been a loooooong stretch with Joe learning to settle himself to sleep. Right this very second he's doing 30secs of crying, then settles, and repeats about 4-5 times before he drops off. When we started it would take him 90mins, and that's after doing lots of gentle swaying, cramming dummy in his mouth and holding him very tightly!

He refused swaddling, had massive tanties about it, until only very recently. We only swaddle his arms, really, and he still hates it but now looks resigned (like a tired old man....bless) and I have found it really assists him in dropping off and not waking himself up.

You probably know and have tried all this stuff as a seasoned professional. Sorry...

OP posts:

learnermummy · 26/07/2013 10:36

Thanks Oli. I think it's the heat making everything more difficult. She is now asleep in swing so have been rushing around sorting everyone else out! I did need to swaddle my first so prob should try it as she's more like him in temperament, have been resisting as she's already so warm.

Steffanoid · 26/07/2013 11:50

we had a bad morning too dont worry, lots of waking and crying, not hungry, not windy, one almighty poop later and tge crying was hunger, managed to get him to sleep with bouncing and milk and he's been asleep since, just push the swing every now and again I dont like the overtired refusal to settle

MrsBri · 26/07/2013 13:38

I've had a grumpy, over tired madam here too.

Seems like that's how they roll. I'm not sure the heat helps at all. And neither does an eye infection. Sigh!

rrreow · 26/07/2013 16:35

Does anyone have experience in the area of food/weight to give me some advice on this? I am used to eating when hungry. As an adult I've pretty much always done this and stayed at a constant weight (I guess it helps that I've got fairly healthy eating habits).

When I breastfed DS1 I ate a lot, whenever I felt hungry, and I went back to pre-preg weight easily. However, this time I feel hungry all the time like before, however if I eat according to my appetite I seem to be putting on weight!! And I don't know what to do. I don't know to what extent I should ignore the messages my body sends me (hungry > eat) while still eating what I need in order to be healthy/be able to cope with breastfeeding.

Hawkmoth · 26/07/2013 16:39

If I knew that I'd be happy. I'm SO hungry it's untrue. I can't get enough carbs (so basically toast) and I'm killing the 3am crash with hobnobs. I feel like I'll never get anywhere near my previous weight ever again.

Hawkmoth · 26/07/2013 16:41

Thinking about it, I'm going to try having a glass of water every time I think I'm hungry for a few days. That used to work.

rrreow · 26/07/2013 17:01

I read about the glass of water trick on mumsnet so been doing that religiously! It helps sometimes. I find it a very strange experience not to be able to listen to my body when it comes to food. It's like I can't trust it to tell me what I need.

learnermummy · 26/07/2013 17:50

Rrreow am impressed that you can listen to your body like that, really wish I could. Saw a thing on tv recently where they said that you could snack on whole almonds and the body doesn't absorb all the fat in them. Could be worth a try? Currently I'm eating crap and still losing but it won't last forever. Have battled with my weight from an early age!! Actually worried about passing bad habits onto Anna now!

Steffanoid · 26/07/2013 20:39

do any of you use a dummy? so Ethan gets a bit whingey when hes tired or when he's fed and put down, he stirs a bit, I dont think he's hungry, have given him a dummy and he's back asleep after a minute or two, is this the right time to use it?

Littlemissexpecting · 26/07/2013 20:49

We're using a dummy. Some days he takes it, some days he doesn't. Works well in the car and if he starts to wake up but still needs more sleep.
I'm finding the last few evenings, around 6-10pm ish he's getting tummy ache, going through lots of nappies, very unsettled, fussing at the breast etc. not sure what it is.

learnermummy · 26/07/2013 21:10

I would use a dummy if she would take if steffanioid. Unfortunately she gags every time I try!!

Feeling much better this evening as the little lady has been asleep in her crib upstairs for over an hour and I've enjoyed a nice child free dinner, proper conversation, and a glass of wine with hubby in the garden .

pinkapples · 26/07/2013 21:52

Devil child has returned in the pinkapples household been awake on and off since 5.30 and not drinking milk just tried a bath and then she threw up over hubby now she's refusing her milk lovely night in store for me I think

AlohaMama · 27/07/2013 01:26

I use a dummy steff, to help her get to sleep. Particularly when getting her to sleep for the evening which is when she's most fussy. I feed her first to be sure she's not hungry then give her the dummy and lots of rocking. She gagged the first few times, so I tried 3 types, settled on the Avent soothie pacifier which she was most comfortable with but it still took a day or two. Sometimes if you tap the dummy while its in their mouth it seems to encourage them to suck on it.

MrsBri · 27/07/2013 06:24

We use a dummy when Amy is wanting to sleep but can't quite settle herself down. If she doesn't want it she will spit / take it out. It does work quite well though. :-)

pinkbear82 · 27/07/2013 09:09

Hope it was ok nights all round.

We use a dummy too (always said I wouldn't) to again help settle her, very sucky child, and can't have a boob out 24/7 even tho it feels like it quite glad we did as they used one when she was in hospital to sooth. Like Amy, Violet will spit out if she doesn't want it. And if it alls out and she's settled thankfully she doesn't wake.

Still find phil Collins has some magical settling power.

Had weigh in on wed, now 9lb5oz and 62cm. I mentioned about her having become a sicky baby and worried about reflux. Hv poohooed it and said clearly she takes too much food and has to get rid of the excess. So will see how it goes.

Hope all are well.

AmIGoingMad · 27/07/2013 09:12

More dummy users here! It sometimes works but dd doesn't like it as much as DS did- she is much more feisty though!

I'm glad you had a better evening learner! We actually had the chance to have a similar evening to your last night but DH fell asleep putting DS to bed! Tiredness and sleep definitely rule in this house!!!

curlyclaz13 · 27/07/2013 09:21

pinkapples I hope she has fed now and you got some sleep. We had exactly the opposite problem cluster fed all night, most of my dinner went in the bin and he woke every 1 1/2 hours to feed all night OH got up and gave him a bottle at 7.30 and took him for a drive out of desperation to get him to sleep. monkey woke up the second he was home. fed again and crossing fingers he will stay asleep.
just to add to the fun my glasses broke at 4am ! this means phoning work to get a replacement frame which probably won't go down well.

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