Sept 2010- Making our way through the terribles two, with some new siblings along the way :)

[cinnamongreyhound]

New thread for us long standing Sept 2010 mums and anyone who want to join us. Anyone want to add any stats or summaries please feel free!

Old thread

[cinnamongreyhound]

How did you get on newmum001?

[SilverBirdie]

aw newmum sounds like the nursery nurse maybe has an unfortunate way of putting things?! I think if Grace is upset to a point of difference they would have contacted you. Surely it's not the first time they've cared for children who's parents are going through changes in their relationships?

Just home from 24 hours in hospital after a bleed yesterday morning. Pretty scary given the uterus tear I had and they monitored me pretty closely saying they think it could be as thin as a sheet of paper..... great! anyway... elective section is booked for the 8th so a week on Monday and any action before then I have strict orders to get there pronto. My body is knackered and I really doubt I've got another 10 days left in me
So ready to get back to normality...... am utterly drained right now physically

[newmum001]

Never got chance to speak to nursery cause grace came down with a sickness and diarrhoea bug on Tuesday so I kept her at home. Might explain why she was particularly upset on Monday but I will be mentioning it on Monday if she's well enough to go back in then. This week has been so horrible she's been really really poorly resulting in her vomiting last night in her sleep, luckily I heard her from downstairs and ran straight up but I couldn't wake her. She was very confused and seemed disoriented so I rang nhs direct who passed us on to the out of hours dr but by this point she had woken and I was less worried and they said if she was back asleep and comfortable (she was in my bed) and i was happy to leave her till morning to get an appointment with my gp which I did. She seems better today but she's still got a temperature and runny poos and red ear drums?? Fingers crossed for a better night tonight. I have made it a point not to let her sleep in my bed unless she's unwell and she's never unwell but last night I loved having her in bed with me, I can see why parents choose to co sleep its lovely! She's back in her bed tonight though

Beady (can't remember you new u/n sorry) how scary that must have been, I hope you manage to get some rest before the baby's born. At least there's an end in sight now.

[lumpylumps]

So, after my comment a week or so ago, it would appear the decisions has been taken out of our hands!! I'm pregnant!!!!!!!!!!!

[SilverBirdie]

You said it was a huge secret! I feel betrayed
So utterly, uberly happy for you xxxxxxxx

[lumpylumps]

he he!!! It is!!!

[newmum001]

Oh my god congratulations! Is your dp as happy as you are? Not that I'm saying he wouldn't be but he wasn't sure was he. I'm so happy for you. How far along etc? X

[lumpylumps]

I'm 8 weeks! I did a test 3 weeks ago but it was negative. I just though my pco was playing up again but had to admit yesterday that I've pretty much been as regular as clockwork since having Toby. I've only ever been a few days late. Not almost 4 weeks. Also I've been getting all my usual early pregnancy symptoms but was convincing myself they weren't because of the negative test! I was going to wait till next week to do another test, then I'd have missed 2 periods but I kept imaging I was and getting excited. so I thought I'd stop that and prove to myself I wasn't. Did a test and that's that!

Dh will come round. He has to. He was very quiet last night, went to football and came back a bit brighter. The good thing is its entirely his fault! I didn't secretly stop taking the pill or anything like that. We were using the withdrawal method because I was so ill when I was on the pill and injection. he didn't withdraw! (Sorry, tmi!) I think when he sees the scan and the shock wears off he'll be ok.

[Dixiebell]

Ooh congratulations! I just had a cool put in last week. I did a pregnancy test beforehand just to be sure and found myself getting excited that it might be positive! Teddy's only 7 months! DH doesn't want no.3! It wasn't, obviously. V. exciting lumpy, when would it be due?

[Dixiebell]

Ooh and love the fact you can 'blame' DH! No chance of that for me now with the Mirena in, if we do go for no.3 it will have to be a proper grown up conversation/decision

[lumpylumps]

Yeah, we tried the proper grown up conversation. Only it was too late! Dh, daft as he is didn't think once would matter! Bloody good job I wanted one otherwise I'd be a wee bit cross right now!
It'll be due Feb 8th. Makes a change from august babies!

[cinnamongreyhound]

I have that problem Dixiebell, the coil seems to e annoying good at stopping pregnancy! Can keep hoping :)

Congratulations lumpylumps, hope dh comes round sooner rather than later x

[newmum001]

I'm a tad jealous although now is totally not the right time to have a baby what with recent issues etc but I am so broody. My friends had a baby recently, bil and sil had a baby 3 weeks ago and my brothers baby is due next month. There's so many babies about. Very very excited for you!! X

[Dixiebell]

Assuming beady has had her elective section now...anyone heard??!

[cinnamongreyhound]

I did wonder Dixiebell, have been keeping an eye on fb there may be congratulations there soon!

[cinnamongreyhound]

Just looked again and there are two congratulations saying she's beautiful :)

[Dixiebell]

Ooh exciting! Can't wait to see photo and find out final decision on name! #notbroodyhonestly

[lumpylumps]

I text her earlier, they're home and both ok. Exciting stuff!!!

I've had a rubbish day, I rang in sick, helped dh get the boys ready for school/nursery then went back to bed. I slept till 11. I just feel so sick and exhausted.

[SilverBirdie]

Hello
I have indeedy....... Edith Alice was born on Monday 8th at 10.15a.m 9lbs 1oz and usual McMillan traditions...... Long, big head and very cute
Surgery was weird but recovery has been better than emergency with J. I guess I'm just not as tired although tonight has been ridiculous. It's 4.48a.m and I've finally twigged that she wants to sleep on her tummy. Now terrified to go to sleep!
After all the decision making re: elective or not I'm so blooming glad we decided to go for it. My uterus was already ruptured before Edith was delivered! They cut through same skin scar as Jack but then saw what a state my uterus was in and it went a bit wrong
There was a hole about the size of ping pong ball already there and the tear I had when Jack was delivered was also coming open as so thin so a third incision was made to get Edith out and then all three bits repaired.... They had to move my bladder to get to all the bits they needed to. Gross!
I lost over a litre of blood but was borderline for transfusion and as was quite well after surgery they said they'd wait it out until morning and I never needed one.
Feeding has gone really well which I'm so happy about after struggling with Jack. All the time my milk wasn't in was agony during feeding but new latch, position never helped so waited it out (very painful few days) and now milk is in its much better.
My tummy is still huge and quite painful after some weird stuff happening with my bowels....... Tummy was really distended after surgery and mws seemed to be guessing so I asked for a doctor to come and check it out. She thought it was my bowel that had shoved into the gap created when my tummy muscles were pulled apart during surgery. Anyway..... Going gradually back to normal but still very sore........ Why on earth anyone actually wants a csec without medical reason is waaaaaay beyond me
Aaaanyway..... She worth every stitch, of course though will probably never have a younger sibling.
Can't believe I've finally got her settled after hours of feed, poo, wind, feed, change, feed, poo, wind, change, change and now I'm too scared to sleep..............

[cinnamongreyhound]

So glad everything worked out for the best and congratulations!!!! Sounds like they did you proud this time at the hospital. My friends second wanted to sleep on her tummy, her dh is 25 years older than her so his first children had slept like that anyone so he was find but she was very stressed! I think tummies are just bloated because of amount of air that gets in during surgery. Another friend had a hernia op and she had a huge bloated tummy for a couple of weeks, all settled quickly after those two weeks though.
Latch really is the key with feeding, with ds1 I didn't have the confidence to know it was wrong and sometimes didn't take him off when I knew it was because it was such a faff to get him on. My boobs were so huge and hard it was almost impossible for him to get his mouth wide enough. With Luke my milk came in much more gently and I knew what to look for in a latch, I took him off when it was wrong and I had slightly sore nipples for two weeks but never pain while actually feeding. Check that her bottom lip is out and covering your nipple (one thing I wasn't told until I has been ripped to shreds by ds1). Enjoy every moment x

Sorry to hear you're feeling rubbish lumpylumps, I was sick constantly for first trimester with both and sooooooooo tired with Luke. Fell asleep at 4pm once with houseful if children! On the plus side after that I had very healthy pregnancies :)

[newmum001]

So happy for you silver, she is utterly gorgeous! How has jack taken to her?

Guys I really need advice, what the hell do you do when a child prefers one parent over the other? I'm stressing out, grace has always been a mummy's girl. But obviously when me and dp were apart her relationship got a lot better with him because they spent a lot of time alone together. However over the last few days she's all about me and has even said I don't want daddy here. It's absolutely killing him. I know it's probably normal but in all honestly I'd be crushed if it was the other way round. Obviously emotions are hightened because of recent events and grace has chosen this week to cut out naps which Is making her extra cranky and even more clingy with me. I'm a bloody nervous wreck it's all come very suddenly and we're still trying to slip back into life together and I'm petrified that this will drive a wedge between us before we've had chance to even get started again. But at the same time I don't want to start forcing rules etc on grace as she's adjusting too.

[SilverBirdie]

Thanks newmum we feel pretty blessed to be honest

I think I'd try and nip it in the bud by making sure that when they an they have time just the two of them. grace will change her tune when Daddy spoils her rotten on a day out and then she can come home, tell you all about it and he'll be there too. Or a day with all of you but where you take a bit of a back seat... Hard I know for us Mums.
I'm worried that with me holed up with Edith, Jack is becoming totally attached to Daddy. Dh is great but I watch Jack not be 100% cared for today and it broke my heart a little. Nobody put sun cream on him, no hat, he hasn't eten properly all day and DH let the neighbours give him a Chuppa Chup lolly

Hope your Dh doesn't feel too saddened by it. Roles will soon be reversed and then back again etc etc

[cinnamongreyhound]

Firstly I would say you have to talk to your dp, tell him that you are in no way encouraging it and that you want him to be an important part of her life but that your relationship is most important at the moment and you need to be united.

Personally I would not make a big deal about it, he will have to not let Grace show its bothering him too. You can be sneaky with things, like if she asks for something say I need the loo just go and ask Daddy but I wouldn't force the issue. She's probably feeling a bit unsure about what's going on, having just got used to having you apart she's suddenly got you together. She may be jealous of your and dp's relationship, if she's had you each to herself she may be worried he's going to steal you away from her and so she's picked one parent to stick and make sure she keeps so she doesn't loose you both to each other. I hope that doesn't sounds harsh but I know that's not what you are doing but it may what is in her head.

My two fight over holding my hand and dh says I have two hands too, their answer is you can hold the dog then daddy! But when he gets home from work they jump on him and totally ignore me. Perhaps focus on things he would normally do with her that is their thing together or you go out for a few hours and leave them to it. Not necessarily something special just a few hours at home together playing with her toys or baking some cup cakes.

I would say don't try to push her away/towards him or she may feel more insecure about everything. It's going to be hard for him while its like this but he's the adult and she's just a little girl tryin to figure out where everybody belongs again xxx

[cinnamongreyhound]

And silverbirdie a cuppa chup won't do jack any harm once in a while. He will learn to adapt to not having all of your attention all of the time and realise that's he's gained something equally as good, a life long friend who's always there for him. You will only be out of action for a few weeks and then you can have some you and him time while Edith is sleeping or dh is with her. Be kind to yourself!

[cinnamongreyhound]

And silverbirdie a chuppa chup won't do jack any harm once in a while. He will learn to adapt to not having all of your attention all of the time and realise that's he's gained something equally as good, a life long friend who's always there for him. You will only be out of action for a few weeks and then you can have some you and him time while Edith is sleeping or dh is with her. Be kind to yourself!