It's April 2013, the time is now & HERE ARE OUR BABIES!

[toobreathless]

Our first post natal thread!

Cooking & Cleaning can wait till tomorrow
for children grow up we've learnt to our sorrow
So wipe away cobwebs and dust go to sleep
I'm cuddling my baby cause babies don't keep!

A thread to celebrate the highs of life with a gorgeous newborn and the lows of sleepless nights, stitches, feeding traumas & Baby blues.

ladies sorry for a me me me post but I am really struggling to cope. my chick is 2 weeks and I am stressed with feeding. What's normal at this stage?

also would anyone mind sharing their daily routine at this stage as I feel I have no idea what i am doing

Oh photo....yup totally normal. It was around that time that DH was pushing me to introduce a bottle and/or formula. I assume you're BF? What specifically is troubling you? Lack of sleep? Inconsistency? Sore nipples? All I can really say is hang in there. Faithlet is nearly 5 weeks and while there's no routine as such, she's getting more predictable about when she'll feed/sleep.

Here's our (vague) routine:
She'll wake to feed around 5.30-6am. Won't settle back in Moses basket so we co-sleep til about 7.30. I try to express then such I have lots of milk,
Around 8.20 she's usually settled (awake or asleep) enough to go in the bouncy chair while I shower. She usually wants feeding again when I get out.
9am I put her in the sling and get breakfast, she usually falls asleep.
10-11 at some point she'll feed/snooze.
Then it varies - she usually cluster feeds in the afternoon/evening, no real pattern.
Around 6.30 DH baths her (we're going to try to do this a bit later). DH gives her an expressed bottle (which we introduced at 3 weeks). Then she'll feed on and off and usually settles around 9.30. On a good night she'll sleep til 1 ish, feed, then again about 3 and 5. That's a general 24 hours!

Has anyone bought presents for the MWs on the labour ward? I'm going to the hospital today to visit DSIL and new niece (same hospital that H was born in) so I'm taking a thank you card in for the staff on the ward. I was in for five nights and everyone was great so I want to acknowledge them. I was thinking biscuits and chocolate. Do you think that'll be ok?

I got CMW flowers but obviously these aren't easily shared!

Photo. Don't worry 2 weeks is far to little for any sort of routine - if you let that idea go you might feel better about just going with the flow. At that age LO is going to want to feed every 2 hours or so 24 / 7 and maybe more at certain times of the day or on particular days.

Our LO is 8 weeks and we've had a bedtime routine going for a few weeks but even so he is completely fed on demand and doesn't really have a day time routine as such - or if he does it's his routine not mine!

I got DH to buy a thank you card and box of chocs because they were so supportive.

mama lovely news about alex.

user glad you had a less intense day yesterday. 4-5 hour gaps in the evening and night sound good!
I'm feeling a bit like you were with the constant feeding. Dd has had a week-long growth spurt it seems! I did 11 feeds from 9 am-9 pm on Thurs and while y'day was better the evening was tough as she was never satisfied and fed constantly. We've been topping her up a little as she's still not quite back to birth weight and when we did that she finally settled. it just felt like I could have switched sides all night long and she'd still be hungry...I know fussy cluster feeding is typical but it doesn't change the fact that the bottle finally settled her when I couldn't. My boobs has has enough and needed a break!
On the plus side she then slept for 4 hours so I did get a nice chunk of sleep! Just worried about cutting the top ups out ( which I want to do) that my milk supply is now out of kilter with her appetite.

Also feeling a bit down because having appeared to be a sleepy baby dd now wakes whenever I put her down during the day...like you faith. Ds1 was a proper limpet and never went down til about 10 months, I really can't face that again especially with a toddler in tow!

Sorry for the whingy me post I will shut up now! On a positive note Ds said for the first time " I love you mummy" this week :-) and dd is a very sweet baby despite being hard work!

photo it's pretty normal for a two week old to have no routine whatsoever. Even at 8 weeks we don't really have much of a routine going on, other than I feed dd at 9am so she's ready to go off for a nap at 10 which is when all of DS's toddler groups start. Other than that we lurch randomly from one day to the next! As a rule of thumb I'd say a bf baby will want to feed every 2-3 hours and possibly still take ages over each feed. If they've been awake for an hour then start looking out for tired signs as they're likely to need settling. If you're struggling with the randomness of it all then it's perfectly possible to introduce a routine for your own sanity. Just don't become obsessed with sticking to it too rigidly if its not working. In these early days they're changing so rapidly what works one week will probably be a dismal failure the next, and in a couple of weeks you'll find things much easier. Your hormones are still readjusting at this point too, and that can add to the feeling of overwhelmed ness.

Aw looby that's so sweet about your DS! :) I'm the same about the bottle - is rather not use it but I have to admit that she settles and sleeps for longer after she's had it and it does give the boobs a rest!

photo one other thing I remembered is my GP advised they only actually get milk for the first 15 minutes on each side so he advised after 15 minutes if they're still attached to break the latch (easier said than done) and switch sides to prevent them just latching for comfort. Sometimes I set a timer....I do think she's fed more effectively since I've known that.

Routine, Ha ha ha ha! We don't have one at all (DD2 is 6 weeks today) however I will admit to being very anti set routines (just don't work for me personally) we have always just gone with the flow & it worked well for us with DD1. I always had a set bedtime, once they went into their own room at 6 months plus, but other than that they eat/feed/sleep whenever. We probably just got lucky but DD1 will sleep anywhere buggy/cot/my arms which was great.

Blast, must fly, will be back to finish posting later!

photo we don't have a routein either, just good days v bad days really. Usually after a few "growth spurty" days I get a few days of 4/5 hrs between feeds which is great to recharge a bit, also now at almost 4 weeks I am learning that the bad days do pass (they come back again too but you get a respite normally!)

A big problem for me is I try to do non baby things, like clean or drink tea so I start them, then baby goes crazy so I stop/start/stop for a bit and get all frustrated. Better to just sit on sofa, cuddling baby, eating biscuits and playing candy crush.

Feeding is a nightmare though, surprised the human race survived so long.

we haven't got a routine going yet. just feeding on demand and going with the flow. i might start trying to get one going around 8 weeks.

went to get ds weighed on thursday and he is 9lb 13. i couldn't believe it. he was 6lb 12 at birth five weeks ago. got all the 0-3 clothes out for him now. he only had a few newborn items so i was sick of seeing him in the same baby gros every day! i am washing his grobags today so he can start wearing them at night. might help with starting a routine.

i am still managing to express three/four feeds per day so i am doing well with that. it is very time consuming though so not sure how long i will continue for. i am hoping the milk will dry up at some point and i won;t need to make the decision.

i went to a mums and baby yoga class last week. it was so cute. we are booked in for the six week course. i also booked in for water babies. this starts in july. i can;t wait to go as it's the one thing i really wanted to do when i was pg.

is anyone else doing water babies?

i got a jumperoo with the tesco clubcard double up thing so it was free! ordered it yesterday and it has arrived this morning. i was planning to get it for christmas but i think he will get some use out of it from four/five months so got it now.

had a good week really. hope it continues!

Thank you very much for the responses. feeling overwhelmed and exhausted so it's just good to know this is normal!

Hi all. Thanks to all of you who have answered my questions, sorry I can't remember names right now, have had no sleep for 48hrs LO had diarrhea poor thing.
I tried skin to skin properly for the first time and it was amazing. No idea it could be so intense i sort of just thought it might be a nice thing to do. But she relaxed totally and I felt like she was really a part of me and it felt so so good. And my boobs went mad leaking milk everywhere. Will defo try to do more regularly.

photo - pls don't think you are alone. I did. Then I found mumsnet and it was such a relief! Dd is almost 4wks but I remember week 2 I was pretty low- tired sore feeding all the time wondering how I was going to do this for ever. It all catches up with you it's such a huge change. Do yourself a favour and don't worry/read about routines and how much other babies are sleeping or eating it will only add to your stress, just go with the flow if baby is content then you are doing a fab job. And you will be exhausted as it is hard hard work. No one finds it easy! And also remember that they are so tiny that even when you think some sort of pattern has emerged they will go and have a growth spurt or get a blocked nose or something else and it will all change again. Hang in there. It gets better. It is already a bit better at 4wks and I've heard rumors that it is even better at 6wks then 3 mth etc xx

photochick I felt completely overwhelmed for the first two weeks and cried regularly! Much of it was down to difficulties breastfeeding. However, five weeks in and the feeding is much easier and I generally only cry every few days when I am exhausted. What is 'normal' changes every few days at the moment. I felt a bit more in control once we started a bedtime routine so she is in her Moses basket upstairs and asleep by about 7pm.

I seriously considered just either offering her out to people or leaving DH to it several times! I was just overwhelmed. Sunday was the most recent time I felt like that. I doubt it will be the last!

One of the best things I ever read on mumsnet is: babies are horrible.

Of course they are also the loves of our lives and we wouldn't change them but these first few weeks and months are hard. I have no idea why people aren't more open about that irl.

How exactly do you all settle your babies to sleep in evening? Baby username has been winded, fed and changed. Put swaddled into basket then just screams flat down till she is taken back out. Now on my lap, a bit dosey but still screams whenever she drops dummy.

I hardly been able to put her down all day and now OH has decided to go out for evening, I just want a cup of tea!!

But yeah, people warned me babies were hard but tbh I just thought they were silly, what could possibly be difficult about a cute squishy teeny baby?

How true Bona! They are so demanding and instant gratification! Having said that Faithlet seems to be enjoying floor time now - maybe 10 mins on a mat. Nice to do something where's she quiet that's not eating! She's also better in a deeper bath - thanks to whoever suggested that - although the first time she turned her head and started lapping at the bath water! :)

Bed time routine we're still working on but essentially bath and bottle with Daddy, then through to bedroom with me (I realised tonight that during bottle is when I need to get ready for bed to prevent screaming!). I had advice from the breast feeding hotline lady who said take her to the bedroom, dim lighting, turn off the tv and other stimulants. I feed her til she drops off. I wrap her in a blanket so it's her temp before lying her down. I'll hold her for 10 mins before I put her down or she'll a. Scream and we start the whole thing over again or b. vomit. Usually she's settled by 9.30 but it varies massively.

Agree bona! H is a good boy really! But ask me again between midnight and 5am and it might be a different story xx

My TT perfect prep turned up today!'

It's amazing! Honestly those of you who FF or mix feed check it out.

Bottle made from start to finish at the right temperature in 2 minutes! xxx

I saw that advertised in a leaflet from Toys r us today Trish, it's good then? Having had my nephew for a weekend when he was FF it seemed relentless preparing bottles so I bet it makes a real difference!

I'm waiting for my electric breast pump to come in the post, it was posted 2nd class on Thursday. Hand expressing is such a faff although today I got off about 5oz in two sittings. I'm hoping I'll get more with the electric pump. Those who express for the odd bottle - how much do you usually find you can express?

Do people ask you if your babies are 'good'? What does that even mean?! They cry, they feed, they sleep, they pee and poo...even if they cry a lot it's because there's a reason like reflux/colic and you're hardly going to blame them for that!!

I gave up, after 2 failed transfers to basket she is now sleeping on me till OH gets home. She looks so cute and perfect sleeping nicely on me, you wouldn't think only 30 mins ago she was screaming so hard in my ear she went purple.

I express one bottle per day, 120mls from one boob after morning feed, if I do it in evening takes me about 12 tries to get same amount. She drinks 120 in one go, I suspect would take more but I can't seem to increase it, will wait hear how you get on with electric pump and maybe get onefaith

Faith 2mins 19 seconds to make his bottle just!

I express 4-6 per day (as H doesn't bf properly) and when we were still in hospital I used to get 100-120ml from each boob each sitting whereas now I get 90-100ml from both combined each sitting, that's using an electric pump xx

faith I think when people ask if a baby is good its just the age old "are they sleeping through yet?" rephrased. I get it all the time and just say yes! I also get "are you feeding her yourself" from people too prudish to use the word breast in a sentence. Just seems a bloody stupid question to ask me because if we were ff I'd still do it myself. I'm generally quite a sarcastic person, and I have to bite my tongue from saying " no I don't feed her myself, my team of nannies and wet nurses do all of that and the children are presented to me washed and ready for bed for an hour each evening"

Sorry not to name check - on phone!

Settling - this has developed over time and certainly he settles better on his own now at 8 weeks than he did at 3 or 4. He gets lots of feeds from about 5, bath, massage then a last feed in our room with lights off and in sleeping bag!

Expressing about 120ml at a 10 min sitting with a double electric pump.

And if any other strangers ask me if he is good or sleeping through the night I'll punch them. Or I might just start saying 'oh yes, since 2 weeks'.