Gosh, this having babies is full of angst, isn't it!
In the beginning there is the hope for the BFP and then the symptom spotting begins that keeps us worrying throughout the whole pregnancy. There is the stress of movements and the anxiety about birth.
Then there is the arrival - perhaps early, late or on time; perhaps to plan or full of more panic, chaos and anxiety. Some of the babies need extra care, extra support and we need a bit more help before we get to bring them home.
Bringing them home brings with it the worry about whether they are too hot or too cold; what to dress them in, where to get them to (try to) sleep. They might be noisy sleepers so keep us awake even when we could be asleep or they might be quiet sleepers and keep us awake as we constantly check that they are okay.
Feeding them - whether BF, FF or a mixture - is so often far from straight forward. Are they getting enough, too much? How to get the wind up, cope with the reflux, feed in public, whether to wake them to feed if they seem too sleepy. Is the latch right? Is it the right teat? Which milk should we give? Are top up helpful? Cup or bottle? Dummy or not?
A mummy's chest is obviously the most comfortable place for a baby to sleep but it is not a great way for us to get to sleep ourselves. There is the stress of sleeplessness, how to balance napping and the needs of everything/everyone else. Co-sleeping, bedside cot or own room? When to put them down? Routine?
And this is just the early weeks.
But you know, in just a few short years we will find it hard to recall the details of these early struggles as we will be going through different ones!
The best advice I was given when DD1 arrived was "This too shall pass: the good as well as the bad."
So when things are tough (as they are here tonight as Evan is really struggling to get comfy) then it will get better.
And when we think we have it all cracked and know what we are doing - it will all change!