It's April 2013, the time is now & HERE ARE OUR BABIES!

[toobreathless]

Our first post natal thread!

Cooking & Cleaning can wait till tomorrow
for children grow up we've learnt to our sorrow
So wipe away cobwebs and dust go to sleep
I'm cuddling my baby cause babies don't keep!

A thread to celebrate the highs of life with a gorgeous newborn and the lows of sleepless nights, stitches, feeding traumas & Baby blues.

Thank you all for the welcome messages .

Hi all,

Needed to rant.

We went to see my partners mum and dad yesterday. I've always found his mum to be a bit overbearing of him. He's an only child and very mollycoddled. She waits on him hand and foot and he can do no wrong.

They have pestered none stop to come over and 'help', telling me I must have baby stay over with them ASAP (even though I'm breastfeeding, and I'm actually not ready myself - he's less than a month old!) and making me feel like when my partner is at work, i can't cope on my own. they've made a full blown nursery at their house. She tells me off for making comments like calling him a monster (it's affectionate!), tells me in disturbing him when I take him out of the car seat (which I was advised to so) or feed/change him, makes her own little digs about me not 'relinquishing my grip' little things like that. She thinks its ridiculous I want to take him to groups like baby massage, or mum and baby swimming, pretending to plead with me to 'leave him be'. She tends to visit when others Are there and hogs bubs so others can't see him. I'd tried to be lovely, saying we could go shopping together and I'm actually the one encouraging OH to visit them - mainly to avoid them popping in, mind! But still...

What really hurt though, is yesterday I saw that where there was a frame with a scan photo of bubs (which we bought them before he arrived) was now a photo of her, my partner and baby. It had his name and date he was born on the bottom. I think it was a card she's Sent around to tell people of his birth. Selfishly, I'm upset that I'm not even in it - or that we were told she was doing that. He's our baby, and we are sending out thank yous and photos ourselves. I feel very toe trodden. Halfway through out visit, the photo disappeared and ours returned, so i think she knows it would upset me and had obviously forgot to change photo before we arrived.

We're not married, and had a long conversation about naming baby his last name or mine. We will marry one day, so stuck with his - but it has made me feel a little like the odd out anyway, so this is just making me feel worse :(

I want to broach the subject with OH (I really wanted to ask about photo at the time!) but don't want to put OH in a difficult position.

I know it's all trivial, so guess that's why I'm venting on here, just to whinge!

Sorry for pathetic message, I feel better though! X

Argh. What a nightmare Katy, I'm a bit of a cow so I'd challenge her but f you're not up to it, just smile and nod, or say something non committal like "yes well it's my baby and I'm doing it this way, so what have you been up too" whilst smiling through gritted teeth

I would just let her be nutso about the pics, but do mention how hurt you were to dp, don't bite, you are mummy, you know you're mummy and you are doing the best for your baby.

Hi all,
Having thought I'd 'cracked' BF (latch is all fine now etc.) am now encountering another problem.

DS keeps unlatching, crying for more, I latch him on again, he sucks a bit then wriggles off and fusses again.
I'm also feeling a weird pins and needles prickly sensation in my breast during and after feeding.

It's driving me mental! Any ideas anyone?

lutrinae we had this. Only nipple shields allowed her to latch properly although they were deemed a stop gap...have you considered contacting a BF support group? Tried the bf board here?

katy she sounds very odd. Can you keep your distance for a bit? Certainly while baby is so young!

We are home. It's scary without the staff as a safety net but lovely to have nursed our baby in our bed! Especially since DH changed the sheets! :)

I got a real live miracle didn't I? Oh god, I'm trying to advise someone with a similar decision to that which I faced pregnant with alex and was given crappy odds. Just looked at my posts again, the odds I was given....I really got a real miracle, the stuff of dreams didn't I?

lutrinae I have similar here. From a quick google I think it might be over supply or overactive letdown? It's like the first few mouthfuls of milk come out too fast for her.
She also fusses when she's pooping/peeing, she obviously can't multitask yet!
I think Faiths suggestion is worth a try, I'm going to try and get to the BF support group next week and see what they suggest.

katy what an awkward situation to be in, I'd be pretty peeved too! I'm no good with advice but I hope you get things sorted.

I had my first crazy hormonal new mum moment - DH, baby and I were in Debenhams, I wanted to try something on so DH took pram. When I came out of the changing room they weren't there. I cried like a baby! Obviously DH had taken her as he thinks I'm doing an awful job - no answer when I rang him, straight to answer phone (there's no signal!) I wandered round and couldn't find them anywhere. More tears! I found them what felt like hours later (it was probably only 2 minutes!!) and cried some more. DH had just taken her for a walk to rock her back to sleep when she'd woken.
I am a mad woman!!

Oh mama [hugs] didn't you just, Alex is a lucky boy, you should be proud at what you are both achieving and what you've been through :)

Lutriane - could it be thrush? I am talking incessantly about it because we're trying to get over a bout now and I just so wish I had known about it before.

Your LO could have oral thrush which is hurting his mouth during feeds. He'll then have passed it to your nipples and that could potentially have gone into your breast tissue.

Symptoms for LO are fussing at the breast and thick white patches forming on his tongue and / or gums. Symptoms for you would be red/ dark pink nipples, pain during and after feeding getting worse and eventually feeling like burning or broken glass inside the breast. Seriously sore and horrible

Have a look online at symptoms etc. it is totally treatable but would need both of you to be treated as you pass it back and forth. Anyway, just a thought and hopefully it isn't thrush at all!!

Mama - it is truly amazing how well Alex has done. You were never going to give up on him and he was clearly determined to be your son from the start.

Katy - you MIL sounds like a pain in the arse! I would be upset as well. My in laws (who are over seas) have not even sent a card and DS is almost 6 weeks old. This is after years of sending Christmas gifts for 2 SIL's children and barely ever getting a card or thank you. I really feel like not bothering again!

Lutraine - definatley get checked out for thrush although the tingly feeling sounds like what I get during let down. DS also fusses during some feeds but not others - evenings he is especially fractious and pops on and off whilst making some quite funny noises just to let us all know how he is feeling!

We had a couple of tough nights but last night was great - happy days! I am also excited as am managing to pump enough milk for DH to do a feed without resorting to a formula top up. I finally feel that breast feeding is working for me but it has taken almost 6 weeks to get to this point with a lot of discomfort and exhaustion mixed in!

Mama - how are your nipples? I only had to pump regularly for 2 weeks and that was pretty bad! DS has also been feeding what feels like constantly. How long does Alex feed for? I think we are getting slightly quicker in the day but night feeds are usually an hour plus and then he often wants more an hour later : )

Thanks likecandy and bona. Having looked into both of these I think it could be either, but not sure which eek. Nothing obvious enough like white spots to confirm thrush. I guess I'll keep an eye on it over the weekend and contact my GP on Monday.

Thanks ruddy also!

Mama, Alex is truly a little miracle x

Bugger posted too soon.

Mama, take time for yourself also, you have been through the mill too and it may take some time to hit you how hard you both have had to fight.
I can only speak from personal experience (from DS1 birth) I found that once the dust had settled the whole force of the trauma hit me, (was around 7 months after) and suffered PTSD and needed a lot of counciling for the flashbacks. I'm not saying that you'll be the same, as I had other factors which put me under more stress at that time, but be aware that it can happen and seek help before it gets too much xx

lutrinae Also are you winding your son frequently? Some babies seem to need it more than others. My DD often comes off and fusses, and sometimes seems to be breastfeeding to ease the discomfort of trapped wind rather than because she is always hungry. Often keeping her upright for a while (not while feeding!) helps, and sitting her up when she has finished on each breast.

The pins and needles sounds like the let-down reflex to me - I get it as well and got it last time with DS and wasn't anything to worry about.

Katy, your MIL is being unacceptably overbearing and nuts. It's not her place to tell you how to raise your baby, although she obviously thinks it is. I would find someone trying to talk me into leaving my baby very stressful indeed. I didn't leave DS with anyone until he was 1!

Ideally, you need to find a way to keep her at arms length (easier said than done I expect!). It's not trivial. She is actively undermining you as a mother, and you need backup from your DP to draw a line - this is your baby, not hers, she needs to stop with the comments and let you find your own way as a mother (sounds like you have better mothering instincts than her anyhow )

How often does she come round?

Ellies yes, am winding him pretty much every time he comes off as he appears to need it. I'm not very good at it yet! Maybe I'll hold him upright for a bit longer.
I am erring towards let down too. The only thing that's confusing me is the lingering tenderness in my boobs and nipples. But maybe that's still just getting used to BF.

Katy you have my sympathies, I have no advice as I am a pushover when dealing with family/conflict, but I hope things get better. YourMIL sounds like a mare!

Hi all. I feel like I can join this thread now .

Thanks to all of you who wished Sam and I the best, especially those who sent personal messages and contributed to the blanket. It really helps in difficult times to know there are people out there wishing you well.

Sam's heart is being monitored for 24 hours and if the doctors are satisfied he will be discharged on Monday. Originally this meant 'moved to the hospital in Bath' but there is now a crazy rumour we might get to go home! Given that this time last week the doctor said the words 'biggest tumour I''ve ever seen in a newborn' and 'things aren't looking good for him to be honest' I can't quite believe we're at this stage!

I am struggling with breastfeeding as Sam was fed through a tube until a couple of days ago. I am managing to express but can usually only manage about 10ml of treadmill to add to each bottle. I have tried him on the breast but he just screams which is upsetting.

We are bonding well otherwise though. I like to think he can actually distinguish his mother from all the nurses who have been looking after him!

I will have a look through the thread and catch up with all your baby news so I can learn whose baby is whose!!!

Treadmill?

That's one of the stranger autocorrects.

Hi EmpressMatilda, I am new to this thread and haven't seen your story, but just want to send you and Sam all the best, and really hope you get home soon.

Empress so happy to hear that update on Sam! Xxxx

I'm so pleased to see you here Empress and delighted to hear about Samuel's progress!

We have had ups and downs. Breast feeding is gradually improving and Faithlet is latching more often without the nipple shields. Last night I had a feeling something wasn't right about 3am. I picked her up and she felt cold - the heating was on very low because I'd been so hot in pregnancy and we never thought to turn it up when we got back from hospital - Her breathing was variable and quite slow at one point (utterly terrfying) so although she warmed up and stirred after contacting 111 we ended up in A&E with a 4 hour wait. Course she was fine the whole time! Doc thinks it was a one off but it's made me a bit nervy. Do make sure your babies are warm enough! I feel so crap about it :( We have the angel care monitor set up so hopefully I'll relax enough to sleep a bit tonight! I really want a relaxed night at home!

In tmi news, I have a huge pile! It is so very sore. Thank goodness for anusol! What with the tear/stitches healing, I feel my undercarriage will never be the same again.

Empress stick with the expressing because hopefully your milk will come through soon...have you asked for BF advice from the staff? I'm sure he can tell you're his Mum! He knows your voice, your smell!
It's natural instinct :)

Hi everyone,

Checking in as my baby is here, yay!!! Have copied my update from our ante-natal board:

Isobel Anna was born on Thursday 7 lbs 10oz

My waters went on Weds morning, contactions started 1am Thursday morning, dozed trough them until 4.30am, got to hospital at 6.30am, examined and was 6cm by 8.30am, taken to labour ward, asked for epidural, 1st anaethetist could not do it, luckily a second one managed, examined at 11.30 and was 10cm. I knew I would be from the amount of pain! However, eodural relief kicked in and I rested for an hour, then pushed for an hour. Needed vontous, she was born at 1:48pm

We stayed in overnight, came home yesterday afternoon. She seems to be feeding ok, midwife was pleased today, now just waiting for milk to come in and hoping I can manage to feed her. Today Daddy did her first wash, and we went out for a very small first walk in the pram. She has slept a lot today, so hoping she is getting enough (feeding for 45-60 mins every 3-4 hours, if anyone has any wisdom?)

I have a 2nd degree tear which is stiched, am weeing okay, and stocking up on laxativesbas very scared of the first poo!

My family are visiting tomorrow, I cannot wait for them to meet our daughter.

Off to read rest of thread now xx

So thrilled to see you here empress made my day to hear how well sam is doing! What a little star! Hang on in there with the breast feeding I got not much for ages then suddenly my supply just kicked in. He knows you, dont worry you are his mum every instinct he has is telling him that you are mum, you are food, you are safety. I was so petrified of this detachment with Alex after being away from him for so long, but I needn't have been he knew me in the same way I knew him. He would respond to my voice, relax to my heartbeat. I promise you sam knows your his mum xxx

Sorry for my panicked post last night, it all just kind of hit me and I started shaking - I'm just not ready. I So wanted to offer helpful advice and support but I'm just not there yet. All i Could think about was the horror of me possibly giving her false hope but at the same time if I'd listened to the drs.......I cannot bear to think. I feel bad but I just cannot go there yet. I hope that makes sense anti don't sound horribly selfish.

Alex is feeding every two hours 24 hours a day for about 20 minutes at a time. He is so so hungry. My one and only attempt at using a bottle of expressed milk was a total disaster so I won't be trying that again in a hurry! One nipple has improved the left is just a cut up mess. I asked the hv for advice but she told me it is just the frequency of his feeds and his voracity nothing wrong with the latch etc so its just a case of bearing it I think.
Thankfully no sign of the dreaded pox on Alex, ds1 is much better as well. I'm so relieved.
I will name check properly later, sorry one handed here hope everyone is well

Congratulations angel! And welcome to the world Isobel xxx