December 2012: Dribbles, giggles and rolls!

[IsThatTrue]

Thought we should get a new thread before the night shift

Ski I was up and about quite quickly, but was on strong painkillers. I remember I kept stopping them as I thought I was better, then coughing and it being agony, so back on the drugs! I'm guessing recovery could be similar to a c-section, though ofc LO is much bigger than a newborn now. Can your DH take "family days"? My DH gets them with work, I think they're a form of sick day?

I've got a doctor appointment for DS on Monday as a follow up for his eyes (sticky since birth, but everyone else said its normal). She was lovely and helpful for DS, giving us eye drops, advice, Gaviscon and a referral if things aren't better by Monday.
I'm a little worried about talking to them though. If you say you're worried about PND what do they do? Does it go on file for future children? What if I'm just having a few bad days after weeks of no sleep? It's been over 2 months since I've had 4 hrs continuous sleep. I don't feel "depressed", just kinda stuck in a rut and waiting for things to get better.

Stacks, they should do a questionnaire which should also help you work out whether this is Pnd or something else. Then I would assume they would offer support. A friend of mine just had her 2nd baby and as she had Pnd after the first, she was offered NHS consultant led care for the birth and follow up. So it might be recorded, but only to ensure you're being offered support. Please talk to your HV, if it is Pnd you shouldn't have to manage alone, and if it isn't no harm done.

stacks mum has had viral meningitis - she is slowly getting better but I'm still having to shower her and prepare meals etc. luckily there are others pitching in but obviously she only wants me to do the personal stuff.

beasty what meds did you get for A's reflux? Ts is getting less controlled by the gaviscon as she gets bigger which is why it is often taking 2 hours to settle in after a night feed. Am going to bed as soon as T is down tonight and will set my alarm for midnight to do a dream feed.

stacks I think ski is right about 4/5 months being a difficult time with the accumulated tiredness and novelty worn off, and you and others stop making allowances for having a new baby.

Stacks that was exactly i was exhausted from lack of sleep. The HV did a home visit and explained that it was Abnormal for a baby to not be sleeping more than 2 hours in a period. Thats when she did all the digging round and we came up with the milk intolerance and reflux theories, which are being tested now. It was good to finally have someone take notice and listen to me.

I have also since then been able to tell my family that i'm just about ready to hit a brick wall with tiredness. I also told DP that i was considering ending our relationship as he was no help and that i needed just abit of sleep. He's finally seen that i am ar a wits end and is helping more. I'm feeling much more positive now.

Your HV may do the questionnaire but more importantly she maybe able to see something in your LO's sleep/pooing/vomiting health pattern that might be able to subtly help you. Sending you some hugs and

I'm not really in a lot of pain, only on paracetamol and can get up and walk around fine. The antibiotics are making me feel sluggish and sleepy though. DH's work situation is complicated stacks, his boss is his best mate but can be a total arse relating to work, DH really has had enough of working for him. For example when I went into labour his boss called and said " don't worry, take a week off, don't even think about work" then called him while we were still in the hospital to give him a bollocking about something and said "we need to have a serious discussion when you get back, you should be very worried" then demanded he come in to work the morning we got back from the hospital and he worked every day until his next usual days off, he was absolutely shattered. I mean, WTF?

stacks from what you've said it sounds like you've hit the tiredness brick wall (good expression hales) rather than pnd - I'm going to bed without dinner tonight because I'm just too tired to care but don't feel depressed. I do feel fed up of being exhausted though, hence my hysterical 5.30am slot. It's definitely the best thing to talk it over with a professional. As mama says, if it is pnd they will note it but only to support you not to put a mark against you. Remember its so so common, people just admit to it so readily. Is there anyway that you can absolutely prioritise sleep and a bit of a break for a few days to see if it makes you feel any better? That's my plan- hence the 8.30 bedtime!

ski that would be shocking from any boss but a mate? Awful for you both.

Ski - just at your DH's boss/'mate'! Will keep fx for you that he's more accommodating this time but it's such a shame that it doesn't sound hopeful.

Stacks - sorry to hear you're feeling low. Agree with everyone else that it can be quite hard to distinguish between pnd and extreme exhaustion so a chat with the doctor sounds like a good plan. It absolutely won't be held against you if it is pnd. Acknowledging that there might be an issue and asking for help should be seen as a positive thing.

ddas - I know what you mean about the relief of only having one DC to deal with at a time. I love DS1 to bits, but I must admit his two days at nursery are great. It means I don't constantly feel pulled in different directions, I get some one-to-one time with N, I value my time with DS1 more and he gets attention from adults who've had a full night's sleep. Win-win I'd say.

Oh and welcome littleginger.

Yeah, that's one of the things that makes it so hard for him. He really hates working with him (most of his staff do) but they do get on really well outside of work. I guess he's just good at compartmentalising. The thing is he does really respect and value DH, he just doesn't know how to treat people :(

WLmum A is on Domperidone. It's an anti sickness medication (same one my dad was on during chemo). The Dr didn't even want to try gaviscon, he said we needed to go straight for the serious stuff, because of the incredibly slow weight gain.

It hasn't been a miracle cure, but I can see a definite improvement in the sickness- a few days with no sick until mid afternoon. Unheard of before.

Wow no posts overnight. Does that mean our babies are finally sleeping? We had a good night from about 11.30 till 5.30.
Going to a hen party tonight- quite a tame one in London but should be really nice. First night away from dd though!! Trying not to think about that bit and just the night off bit with adult conversation and a chance to dress up without the risk of vomit lol.
Remember someone was saying re playmats and rolling? If you don't have carpets mothercare has a sale on at the moment on these really big foam mats- we got some yesterday. Gap also has a great sale on kids clothes at the moment. Was supposed to go out and get stuff for the hen party but mostly got stuff for the kids instead!

Ooh, you shouldn't have told me that about gap, we're out shopping this afternoon....

A typical night for us- woke at 11, 1, 3, 4 &5, up around 6-6.30.

beasty I'm glad that's helping. It's amazing that its taken this long - how have you stayed sane?!

ddas I can't post at night any more as the light from my phone distracts T! She woke up before my scheduled dream feed at 11.20 and it took me 2 hours to get her back down. I'm really at the end of my tether with this. I don't mind feeding her but being up for so long is driving me mental. The good news is that she then slept til 6.15.
DH has just taken all 3 out for a walk so T can nap and u can have a little time. I do appreciate it but it is well overdue - this is the first time in 4 months that I have been child free!
Am feeling quite down myself today - it's just that T hardly sleeps in the day and when she does its always out in the pram or car, and with these mammoth night wakings I just feel that it's so relentless and I never get a break. The house is constantly a tip and there are so many outstanding jobs.

Oh WL, that's really rubbish. Glad you're getting a break today though. Can you arrange with your DH to make it a regular thing? It might help keep you sane when you know that you have some me time to look forward to.

WL, I hear you. One of the things I'm finding hardest is that if I do have a break from looking after Z, I have to spend the time frantically catching up on tasks. And that's with a cleaner, a husband who is actually very helpful around the house eg does 90% of the laundry and dishwasher, and my mum who helps with things like the garden plus those annoying one- off tasks like mending a recalcitrant roman blind. Makes it impossiblr to actually have time to think an independent thought. God help me if I have another child! I've decided on a 2 pronged plan: (1) arrange specific days for my mum to come help so at least I know when I'll be getting a break, which is half the battle, and (2) banish thoughts of maternity leave being a time in which I'll actually do any other projects eg sewing or the furniture painting I had planned. If i do them, great, but if not, at the moment I'm driving myself frantic by not "achieving". I've always been like that eg I'd set myself book reading targets during school holidays, but it's not helping me now. I might still get the kitchen done though! As that's largely telling other people to do things.

I get to go home today! Yay. Said I'm fine to fly tomorrow as limit is 48 hours after surgery. Can't return to bf for another 10ish days though. Really worried about losing my supply :(

Ski I exclusively expressed for a week and a half before being able to feed ds you should be fine if you keep pumping 3 hourly day and night

I have been really bad about pumping in hospital because I was feeling sick when sitting upright. At home I only have a hand pump so I don't know if I'll be able to keep up. I already feel like I have so much less milk but hoping some of that is down to not eating much or drinking for a day and a half.

Btw, well done Spotty! You have some perseverance!

Can you hire a pump? Why can't you feed for ten days is it meds?

Yep, antibiotics and pain meds. I'm not sure, I'd have to wait until I get home to find out anyway. Although I haven't been getting on with the electric one anyway.
Oh well, all I can do is try and hope for the best. Did you find that pumping frequently is the most important thing and not trying to get the most out in a session?

Well ds needed what I was pumping so it was a bit different.... Is it possible that the rules in Canada on which meds you can bf on are different to here? As I know there are lots of ab you can bf with? (I've got an app that has all the research if you wanted me to look?). I think ten minutes every three hours should be fine and it shouldn't matter what you get as when you start bf again your supply should increase. I would be getting advice from a bf specialist though. You could post in the feeding section on here?

Totally identify with the targets thing Seconds - I used to constantly do that still do set myself reading targets. Not sure if it was maybe a work habit, but gradually realised babies don't know about 6 min units so that I needed to chill out and generally be a bit kinder to myself. Now just the very basics (laundry, dishwasher, cooking etc) are absolutes and anything else that I can sensibly slot round them is a bonus.

Thanks Spotty I am on ciprofloxacin and flagxyl. I'll probably go on the breast and bottle feeding section later since I'm about to get picked up from hospital.