Chasing, could you and o go to your mums for a while? It really sounds as though you have got to get out of there and get some support while you put yourself back together. I hate the thought of you being there with him and feeling like this. It really isn't healthy. Re your post above, what you're forgetting is that once you are better you will actually be happy the majority if the time. That is what life should be like.
And you're right about the importance of remembering what a relationship should be. It should have mutual love, respect and support. Anything else just isn't food enough and will do you no good in the long run. Most have a little bickering and the odd bit of frustration around the edges from time to time, but at the core should be something that makes you feel good and strong and special. You deserve that, everyone does. Don't settle for anything less.
Pikz - you're doing so well. Celebrate what you have acheived.
Vq - rock on. Bought stuff to cook here for my folks - and ended up getting a takeaway cos I lost track of time. Hoping for sleep dust tonight but if that fails I'll have some of your domestic goddess dust.
But no strawberries please. Strangely I think I might have gone off them [buwink]