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November 2012 - The lurker amnesty fred for our quiche

999 replies

StuntNun · 21/03/2013 21:21

Previous thread: www.mumsnet.com/Talk/postnatal_clubs/1710755-November-2012-Will-the-Easter-Bunny-visit-our-babies

Any remaining lurkers, would you like to de-lurk and announce yourselves? We won't bite!

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
ValiumQueen · 25/03/2013 08:56

Woo hoo! J self settled in cot for nap Grin woo hoo! Feeds and naps should hopefully follow a good pattern now.

Pikz · 25/03/2013 09:00

Woohoo Pom poms for J!

MadamGazelleIsMyMum · 25/03/2013 09:19

Sorry to those having crap nights. Ours are ok, not brilliant. DS wakes several times a night. I refuse to feed him - he takes 40-48oz per day so cannot possibly be hungry. He usually just needs the dummy reinserting. About 2am he wants to play. I bring him in with me and he coos and sings while I hold his hand. Eventually he goes back to sleep. I usually have to reinsert the dummy a few more times as well.

We are off to nursery for DS's first settle. I dont leave him at this one though. Might pop in and see DD too, have never just seen her playing there. Then pop into my office just over the road, then Pizza Hut for lunch with colleagues!

ChasingDaisy · 25/03/2013 09:21

Just got a call from social services. I am getting a visit on Wednesday and they want to access my GP records and Oscar's HV records. Safe to say I am shitting a brick.

Off to GP soon, just waiting for MIL.

MadamGazelleIsMyMum · 25/03/2013 09:27

daisy I have no experience, but is it possible they will just offer support, and therefore no need to worry? Easily said, I would worry too Thanks Brew

ChunkyEasterChick · 25/03/2013 09:29

chasing can understand why you're worried but I'm sure its standard - they prob want to check that O is happy & healthy.

ChasingDaisy · 25/03/2013 09:29

I just worry that with him being exposed to what happened last week and me having PND they will think he is at risk. I don't like that they will access my health records but I didn't want to deny them access incase they think I am hiding anything.

ChunkyEasterChick · 25/03/2013 09:32

PND doesn't automatically mean he's at risk chasing. Is it worth mentioning it to your GP? Also, what he was exposed to isn't great but in your favour is the fact that you took action. Lots of kids are exposed to far more on a far more regular basis. Plus YOU did nothing wrong - your exP did something VERY wrong.

Passmethecrisps · 25/03/2013 09:34

You have no need to be shitting anything chasing. Their job is to help.

YellowWellies · 25/03/2013 09:37

Chasing are they coming to give you more support, or in the light of the DV incidents? You'll be fine hon. Just be honest with them - its obvious you're the best Mummy O could wish for.

We had a better night 8.40-3.50 (I went to bed at 9.30 so got a good stretch) then 4.30 til 6.30 and light sleep and fussing to 8.20. I'm wondering if he's been cold so put him in a sleeping bag last night. Could have been a coincidence but it seemed to help. Am going to bed early tonight as DH is away to Shetland for a meeting and won't be able to settle the bear. Boo.

Madame I feel the same I know Jonas isn't really hungry but our house is very dry in the cold weather so I think he probably is thirsty - if I drink half a glass of water overnight I don't feel fair to make him wait til morning to quench his thirst. 12 hours without a drink is a very long time. Perhaps offer water if bottle feeding to see if that's the issue?

Titsalinabumsquash · 25/03/2013 09:37

Morning ladies.

So, my kitchen ceiling collapsed over the weekend, I'm waiting in all day for my housing association to come and fix it.
J is still full of snot and phlegm, bless him.
On other good news, I can finally see the bottom of my laundry basket! Hooray! :)

PetiteRaleuse · 25/03/2013 09:55

Bugger Tits what a pita..

Chasing the social services will want to help, not declare your baby at risk. Please don't worry, though that is easier said than done. Good luck with the GP later on.

Clarella · 25/03/2013 09:55

oh gawd so our 'best' ever night of 5 hours sleep and our usual of 3 hours between wake ups means we're in for a really shit time soon! 15 weeks today :/ (17 if hed popped out on time)

chasing I don't know the background but don't worry too much, social services can be very helpful sometimes. as above be very honest and ask for what ever help they can give.

ValiumQueen · 25/03/2013 09:57

chasing but he is at risk from his daddy, as are you. This is common practice with DV. The police would have put in some kind of report as there was a baby involved. The fact you are seeing your GP about PND shows you are doing your best to safeguard you and your son. SW will want to see if there is any additional support needed. I urge you to discuss alternative accommodation, and also request supervised access. They may be able to get a nursery place for J to give you a wee break, and can help in other ways, financial advice, referral to other agencies. I totally understand you being worried, but honesty is the best policy. Do not protect your ex, and see this as an opportunity.

Any agency referring to SW should have the decency to tell the parent, so i doubt it is the HV or GP. Police do not need to as it can aggravate the situation. There is an outside chance that your ex or in-laws have reported a concern, but even if that is the case, you still do not need to worry. Do not worry about the house being spotless, just try to remain calm. It may help to write things down before they visit - what has happened, what you fear, what you want etc.

ChasingDaisy · 25/03/2013 10:02

Thanks everyone. It was a police referral as he was there when The Incident happened. She wants to speak to us both together and then me alone. I will use the opportunity to discuss what my housing issues are as all I have been told so far is that we have equal rights to the flat. which is why he is sleeping on the sofa. Don't judge me. I know its far from ideal

ValiumQueen · 25/03/2013 10:03

chasing they will not take your baby away. In order to do that, there needs to be an immediate risk of significant harm. Their aim is always to keep baby with family, and mum is always first choice. The threshold for 'good enough' is very low, too low IMO. Hope it goes well at GP Thanks

ValiumQueen · 25/03/2013 10:06

chasing is he behaving on the sofa? We will not judge you, as we are not in your situation. Many of us have been though, and will continue to gently encourage out of genuine concern, but ultimately you are a big girl, and need to make your own decisions. We just want you and O to be safe x

Evilwater · 25/03/2013 10:25

Chasing- hugs all around.

Evil

ChasingDaisy · 25/03/2013 10:29

VQ he is behaving. I am looking into my options though and trying to get myself sorted.

Izzybuzzybuzzybees · 25/03/2013 10:37

chasing we are not here to judge. It's not an ideal situation but you know that yourself. Hope the visit goes ok.

vq the hand holding is instead of a feed. If he wakes for a feed I can tell by the cry so feed him and he falls back asleep and goes back in cot. The other times he wakes he is just looking for a wee hand hold to get him off to sleep. This is why I don't mind as it has cut out where i would normally be feeding him.

I have downloaded a feeding app thing to track naps and feeds in the hope I can do 3 hourly feeds and stuff more into him during the day. It didn't work last week but I'm going to try for a few days at least I think.

BigPigLittlePig · 25/03/2013 10:57

pr Malta is lovely - have been on holiday to the capital Valletta, and travelled around. Very laid back, Mediterranean-type feel. Guernsey is also lush, we used to go on family holidays there and I would move there in an instant if I could afford it

chasing SS involvement is perfectly normal in your situation - nothing new to add to what's been said, so hope it all goes ok for you.

So fecking cold here that I can hardly type.

F is 4 months old today Biscuit

ValiumQueen · 25/03/2013 11:14

Oh yes, J is 5 months old today. Bad mummy for forgetting Blush

ValiumQueen · 25/03/2013 11:15

Happy 1/3 birthday littlepig

ChunkyEasterChick · 25/03/2013 11:20

Mmmmmm cake

Limpit80 · 25/03/2013 11:21

Morning All.
Sorry to those who had bad nights. We are trying to get F to sleep in his cot (after a baby bay) and that seems to be cancelling out the fact that he seems to be feeding less during the night (at 19 weeks). Im always impressed that people can remember what times there LOs wake, Im usually so sleepy, it all goes by in a bit of a blur!
chasing I dont know your situation, but I know it must be very stressful. Sending good vibes. Flowers