March 2013- here we go....

[Oodsigma]

Welcome old & new to the other side!

I'll start with a stats list!

Ood -ds 7/3/13, dc4! Elcs

If anyone wants to add any more details feel free!

I seem to recall reading in one of the zillion leaflets we got at the hospital that two or three times a week is fine for tiny babies, though daily is fine if you want to. We had three baths in the first two weeks, then the man got a good few days off in a row and did daily baths until she quit screaming about it. Now she loves it, it's the one thing that gives us a break from demon banshee o'clock.

Make sure you wash his armpits, leni. Ours tends to have lumps of old milk in there, from dribbling, and it's hard to clear out because she tends not to raise her arms for long enough. Which formula does yours hate, and which are you on now?

Apparently my entire house has a vague aroma that suggests the presence of a baby...

Ooh lots to catch up on, sorry if I don't name check/confuse you lot a bit...

worsester we're exclusively formula feeding here, baby sleeps like a good un - it must be related. And fainting?! That's no good duck, you can't go round doing that and looking after a teeny baby. Give yourself a massive pat on the back and look after yourself. If you want to try mixed feeds then do it. For some reason the guilt kicks in with formula but happy mum= happy baby

Leni yes, owchy dry hands. My face and boobs have got patches of dry skin too - hormones? And not fair of your DH to mention your former shape! I'd slap him a bit, you've carried a lovely baby for nine months, it's amazing and bewildering! your body goes through essentially 9 months of trauma, your LO is still brand new. I'd consider your stretch marks a badge of honour, and I'm sure we all have wibbly tummies. Mine wouldn't get his dinner if he said anything so cheeky!

Stormy sounds messy but I hope LO is more comfortable. I hate to be the one to be such a disgusting bastard say it, but there's nothing like a bit of movement to cheer you up. The comfort formula might be worth a go!

Eig I'm feeling ridiculously emotional too. I figure it's been a good month since the last bout of snot faced tears so I'm due a couple, right? It's got to be hormones.

So everything is good with baby, were in something if a routine and 7 weeks old today. And I'm fucking shattered. DP and I are bickering like you wouldn't believe. We're struggling to find a balance, I suppose. Baby's in bed so I'm in the bath, completely can't be bothered to cook his dinner. I don't even really know how to articulate how I'm feeling without causing a row. I'm really close with his mum but I fear that in confiding in her I may have broken some cardinal rule "thou shalt not bitch about the problems in your relationship to DP's mum"? Strangely I'm starting to feel that I need to go back to work, that itd somehow save us...

plonko this too shall pass. It takes some settling down in your relationship once a baby's come along. I've been so annoyed with DH today ever since he made me a cup of coffee this morning but then because I bf DD for an hour, he didn't once think to look up from his ipad (he communicated with me and DS otherwise) and offer it to me, so it sat on the coffee table out of my reach until it went stone cold. AIBU? Probably. But I keep asking him to pass me drinks and I wish he would just offer me my drink instead.

But then again, AIBU as he cooked a full roast chicken dinner and has just taken DD out in the sling for a walk as she's hardly slept all afternoon and has still just wanted feeding the whole time (including the 2oz expressed while I hid upstairs in our bedroom) and I completely lost it with DS who was playing up at his bedtime. But I also think lucky him, he got to cook in the kitchen for an hour and has now escaped the house for a walk while I had to put DS to bed and I'm still annoyed with him so I'm the one who wants the break

Sigh.

Leni, get tubs of hand cream in any room you've got a sink in and put it on after washing your hands or sterilising anything?

Infuriating, aren't they, Wing? We had similar earlier, putting a coffee in front of me while I'm feeding DS, then helpfully reminding me that it's there. I swear he has baby blindness. It's as if he feels that he gets out of the daily grind of being a parent because he works. I see his point, he works hard to provide for us, but he gets a break and I don't. I tried to explain it last night but it didn't go down well.

I wish I could get a break. What I wouldn't do for one nights unbroken sleep!

wing so with you. The problem with two is one of them always seems to need something. I could have written your list as that has pretty much been my day save that my an cooked a very mild thai chicken dish!

I read this really interesting article on thrush and how it can impact babies.... It really struck a chord.

www.minti.com/parenting-advice/6930/A-suprising-reason-for-babies-crying-the-symptoms-of-oral-thrush-possible-reason-for-colic-updated/

I think I have a blocked milk duct on my left nipple. Little white blister. Checked out images of various things including thrush, and pretty sure that's what's going on. Must get a hot compress on it later.

Had a big day out today, taking LO for a shopping trip which covered 2 feeds. And survived! Had a rather grumpy one who was very glad to have a long and unpressured feed at home. Now bathed and asleep with relatively little fuss really.

Must do a dream feed at 11 to make sure he's had enough today, but hope that proves I can do it. And I fed in public twice! Yay!

Well DH got back with DD at 8 and she's slept so he kept her snoozing in the sling but of course she woke up five kind ago and is feeding again. I really thought that before last night I could see some sort of pattern perhaps emerging but who knows

Anyone else dread the uncertainty of night times?! I know I should take my own advice and remember that this is all a phase and hopefully DD will be like DS and start sleeping through in 7-8 weeks but my goodness doesn't seem like a long way away...

Well done on public feeding pud!

wing I am so with you. I remember telling myself how much better it got with DS atv12 weeks but 5 more weeks seems a long way away. However can't believe she is 7 weeks old, I am only 10 days away from the dreaded jabs at 8 weeks as I booked them on Friday. Hoping she is over the thrush by then.

Plonko, Wing, totally! OH often comes in when I'm feeding DS with toast he's made for himself whilst I've not been able to eat all day, truly infuriating not to be asked! Plonko I know what you mean about not getting a break, maybe we don't go out to work but we're on a never-ending repeat cycle where we can't switch off for a second when our babies are awake. It's physically, mentally and emotionally draining in a way I've never experienced before. Plus tiredness to this extreme leaves us feeling vulnerable to making mistakes, which I know for me at least makes me nervous because I'm responsible for my precious little human...

DS farted throughout the last boob feed, we laughed a lot at him but I don't think he appreciated it

Yes Milton is the dry skin culprit - I feel like I do when I've been in a swimming pool too long.

I should say DH does do absolutely tons but it's just this thing that does get to me!

DD went from 10:30-3:20 hurrah so I feel a bit more awake after the nightmare day yesterday. I could murder a cup of tea right now! Perhaps I should make up a flask for night feeds? But then I suspect I'd throw all or most of it away because I'm usually too tired to sit and drink and just have a couple of sips of water once I'm back in bed. Hmm...

Hope you're all having a good night? I was just thinking of all the people upthread who haven't been on here for ages - I hope they're all okay, even if they're just lurking x

Hi everyone - looks like we are all facing the same issues. I can so identify with the general hopelessness of DH's. Mine too, while desperate to please and help out (most of the time) has momentary lapses. Evenings and weekends I need help... he knows that.... but he still sees fit to organise work dinners, a weekly evening gym session, and saturday morning supercar drives without so much as telling let alone asking me. I'm fairly sure the clonking of husbands over the head with empty moses baskets is an acceptable form of retaliation in such circumstances. You'll back me up on that, right?

WingD - you're so right, expressed could be the way to go... but I have yet to get my head round how I manage that when I am bf-ing all the day feeds. Do I pump and feed at the same time, or feed then pump, or just pump in the precious nano-second I get between feeds. And how does that work when the munchkin is on nap strike? Has anyone tried the impossibility that is simultaneous baby wearing whilst pumping? Sounds like a right old palaver to me. I'm kind of leaning towards the idea of an evening dose of the magic powdered stuff to send her off to the land of nod, and breast the rest of the time. I'd be sad to stop bf-ing totally tbh, as I enjoy it. She has the cutest way of focusing in like lunch is the most important thing in the world, and then watching me out of the corner of her eye as if she is planning future years of twisting mummy round her little finger.

She took the bottle fine WingD, which was a relief, but that said she has had 8 weeks of getting used to my somewhat projectile boobs so perhaps it was actually a pleasure to have dinner conveyed in a manner other than a high velocity jet in her left ear.

Right, the baby stirs... mummy hat on.

Had the usual screamy bedtime. Total milk intake just under twenty ounces for the whole day. Breakfast this morning went fine for the first three and a half ounces, then she looked distressed, threw herself backwards, milk came out her nose, and she started crying. That's got to be reflux.

plonko why are you cooking his dinner? I hope it's because it was your turn last night, not because you're expected to do it every day. As for going back to work... I suppose that would put you both on an equal footing, because you'd both be going out and getting a break, but then, who'd be on baby duty when you're both home? If it would always be you, then going back to work might not really improve things. As for one night's unbroken sleep, it does make a hell of a difference. Can you arrange to stay at someone else's house just for one night? If you bloke complains at having to pull the full night shift, you can point out that you do nights and days without complaint.

Wing if you keep asking him to pass you drinks then it's not at all unreasonable to expect him to have spotted the pattern by now and start offering!

Yay pud for feeding in public! You are a brave woman.

Eig you've reminded me, I need to book jabs too. Can do that when I ring the doc's tomorrow about the reflux.

We spent quite a while last night looking over the man's shift pattern and working out who's going to be doing what over the coming weeks. He's been on 12-9 for the past fortnight, and that's worked well because he's been on baby duty overnight while I sleep. But over the coming weeks it's mostly 10-7 or 8-5. For a 10-7 he needs to get up at 8.30, so he'll be getting up earlier and doing the breakfast shift, but I'll have to get up for the 3am. 8-5s look like a bugger though. He'll be on witching hour duty and dreamfeed but that's it. At least it gives us both chance to get some sleep though, just not always at the same time.

A never-ending cycle sounds about right. We've got seven feeds so seven shifts in a day. If I can get two shifts off in a row I can cope with the rest. If I can't, the lack of sleep is an issue.

Wing I have to admit, night's the part of the day I look forward to the most. Bedtime's at 7 and she's always asleep by 8. She never wakes up for the dreamfeed unless she needs her nappy changed. She gets the 3am bottle when she wakes up for it, but goes straight back to sleep after. Wakes up for the day somewhere between 6 and 7 in the morning, usually. So it's all pretty predictable and quiet. It's the days I dread, because she won't nap for very long and we only seem to have fussy feeds in the day, and she gets progressively tireder and grumpier. I keep telling myself though, no matter what else is hard, at least my baby is really good at sleeping at night. Long may she remain so!

Eig I just checked out that link. Definitely resonates. My plan is still doctor's tomorrow though, because we're only meant to be on the nystan two more days and while her mouth is better than it was, it's by no means cleared.

I'm sure I'll start to prefer the evenings when she has more of a routine or sleeps regularly for longer!

I put her down at 4 but then she grumbled (no crying, just the elephantine grunting!) so I dozed till 5:25 to feed in bed with me and after that she slept on my chest for an hour till 6:40. So back to a vague pattern.

stormy it must be tough when you OH is on shifts. If this does turn out to be a tough week for you, hopefully his shifts will be better the week after?

worsester I love the humour in your posts

It's all 10-7 or 8-5 for the next three weeks. Then we get to the random half of the shift pattern. It repeats every nine weeks. So we're constantly going to be reassessing who's doing which baby duties, which is a bit of an arse.

DD went for her nap at 8, went to sleep straight away, woke up at 9.20. Reinserted dummy and it's been totally silent for twenty minutes now. Could she have actually gone to sleep? God, I hope so. If she has then the next cycle shouldn't be too bad.

We got a bouncy chair yesterday. She loves it. Am I a bad mother for parking her in front of Postman Pat while I ate my breakfast? She seemed entranced by it, so much so that she forgot to bitch about having the hiccups yet again.

Stormy, see what the doctors say. It would make sense that it makes them gassy. I have added sone probotic to the formula abd improved my diet ( now i cant even have a chocolate biscuit- this feeding business sucks!) she wouldnt take the bottle at all last night so i am doing all feeds which najes thinfs worse. Visous circle. I think I have PNE ( which I am calling post natal exhaustion!). Doctor seemed worried I might have PND but I said I am not depressed I am just teary, pee'd off and knackered?! I know this will pass. I know my nipples will stop feeling like someone is grating them off but by bit, I am pretty sure her mouth will recover but I want some results now god damn it!

Definitely sounds like reflux Stormy. Through her nose? I hope you videoed it reckon you'll stick with the same pattern with your DP starting a new shift pattern, or come up with another coping strategy?

Yep I do feel like Cinderella at times. He does most of the bath and bedtimes, as its the only time he can spend with DS in the week, and while he's doing that I cook dinner. He also does the cats litter tray as he just got into the habit while I was pregnant. I do everything else - I cook because I do the food shop, if I made him do it we'd live on chips. Luckily he's redeeming himself today by mowing the lawn, but I did just chuck a frozen pizza at him last night while I could just about spoon cereals into my soggy face.

I think his mother may have had a word, at least she keeps texting him to ask how I am. And i tried to explain the lather rinse repeat daily cycles here. He's the most stubborn person I've ever met but he actually offered to give DS the middle of the night feed. I'm not holding my breath that thus means change is afoot though, but I can keep working on my right hook.

P.s bouncy chair + tv is how we get the ironing done here. George is particularly fond of come dine with me.

Why did we request a rocker that doesn't rock itself rather than a bouncy chair?! Any bouncer recommendations? DS doesn't like the Robopax anymore

Wing the whole expressing whilst wearing DS is a huge issue here - it's just not possible and if DS is adamant he won't settle anywhere else then I go the whole day without expressing until OH wakes up and then that's only once. I want to phase out nipple time really because it just takes him forever (my fault for being so flaky) and he always needs topping up, but I want him to have my milk. Weirdly I'm finding that though he seems to be getting milk from me, when I express virtually nothing comes out which is worrying.

I had to get up at 6am to rescue OH who was lying in bed whilst DS screamed - finally he got a taste of my nights! DS is farting constantly and it seems to hurt

We got this bouncy chair. Because I am a total cheapskate. It does the job though.

We discovered a couple of weeks ago that Zoë particularly enjoys the in-car camera view when watching F1 with her dad. And she doesn't seem to mind being subjected to Top Gear daily, fortunately!

If I left the cooking to the man we'd live on takeaways. I try to make sure there's always something in for sandwiches so I'm not obliged to cook if I can't be bothered. In the six weeks between birth and her own bedroom we had a proper evening meal about twice. Just never got time to cook with her downstairs. Nowadays I try to emulate a 1950s housewife, with the baby asleep and the evening meal cooking when he gets in from work. My inner feminist is horrified.

plonko the only bugger with someone else doing the middle of the night feed is if he cries you'll probably wake up anyway. But at least you won't have to get up!

Eig I was talking to my sister while being a snot-faced weeping mess a couple of weeks ago, and she suggested I might have postnatal depression. I told her, I'm not depressed, I just have a baby who doesn't eat properly and won't nap for more than 45 minutes during the day, which is understandably stressful!

That said, we have just had an excellent nap. Went down at 11.10, woke up at 12.15, redid the dummy a couple of times and she was asleep again by 12.30. Just got up now. So hopefully she'll have a lovely non fussy feed and a nice hour of playing before the next nap. Not my problem if she doesn't though - today I did the morning and the man's doing the afternoon. I am about to head upstairs to bed with a cup of tea and a book. Bliss!

We don't have tv in our home to entertain baby but I would really recommend black and white baby books to use. DD stares at them for ages and ages. Also really recommend montessori style mobiles which are easy to make youself - we made a black and white butterfly one which DD finds fasinating and can happily stare at quietly.

Plonko I have been tempted to go back to work early too! Instead I have decided to take on some freelance work to keep me sane during my maternity leave which I can do while baby sleeps - really need to keep my mind active as I really really miss the mental stimulation!

rainbow indeed, we caught dd staring at the sunday times for ages .... Black and white all the way.

All I have managed to read in the last 7 weeks is hello magazine! Oh kate has bought a crib, front page stuff! Currently hiding upstairs while my sister tries to give dd a bottle pre bath etc. oh is off at the arsenal man u game ..... Jealous!

It's the blinds all the way for the black and white in our house. Black slats, and white clouds behind. Utterly fascinating, apparently.

A royal crib, Eig? How tremendously exciting! Can you feel your brain turning to mush and dribbling out your ears yet?

I've had a lovely afternoon in bed reading What Not to Expect When You're Expecting. Had a bit of a nap too. Only woke up when the baby cried at 5pm - 4 o'clock feed was running a bit late and she started bitching after an ounce and a half. And then had an enormous yeasty-smelling poo. Total ounce count for the day so far is looking good though, as she's cleared three four-ounce bottles. This is a record!

Also had a remarkably stress-free bathtime. She had a twenty minute catnap on her dad at six, and into the bath at half past. Got her out and after a moment she remembered she was supposed to be having a screaming banshee attack, but her heart really wasn't in it and she gave up as soon as she got her dummy. In bed now, squeaking a bit, not sure if she's asleep or not. Last time I checked she was wide-eyed and hiccuping. Sounds like a startled gerbil. It's amazing the difference decently long naps make to the witching hour. Now to figure out why she's slept so much better today...

Evening all! Dd is definitely in the watching hour and has been crazily feeding/pulling off repeatedly for a couple of hours. Frustrating although I'm not annoyed with her although I cannot believe there is

Rainbow do you have any inks to making those mobiles? I made one for DS but I don't think I ever found anywhere to hang it!

Eig, dare I ask which side you were supporting in the match...?

Those of you who are struggling with OHs who aren't stepping up to the mark - just tell them what they have to do to support you, don't expect them to know first time ground? Eg plonko can you just tell him to do the night feed?!