March 2013- here we go....

[Oodsigma]

Welcome old & new to the other side!

I'll start with a stats list!

Ood -ds 7/3/13, dc4! Elcs

If anyone wants to add any more details feel free!

Sending plonko big big hugs. Don't feel alone. I'm in your boat.

Having a terrible day so far. Ran out of colief last night so not sure if that was the culprit but managed only 3 hours sleep as bubs was crying whenever we put him down. He's now been awake almost constantly since 6. Managed to wash and sterilise bottles, put puke covered baby clothes into wash and run to the chemist for more colief in brief moments of exhausted sleep he's had. HV came round this morning during one of his screaming periods and said I'm doing everything she would suggest already and had nothing else to suggest trying to get him to settle. After nearly crying on her she said she would come back next week to see if anything was improving.

He's still awake now but have put him on his mat so I can have a cup of tea and a sob whilst feeling guilt ridden about leaving him crying.

Oh bloody hell.

plonko, please do not leave this thread - and the same goes to you rainbow and backward.

Look, we all need help, assistance and hand holding when going through the early stages (especially) of having a baby. There are two sides to every parenting decision from finding out the sex, which way to feed, CIO v CC v no crying sleep solution, forward v rear facing buggies v baby wearing, when and how to wean, etc and it goes on.

There will be advocates for one way and the other. I don't think anyone was getting at you personally plonko, as rainbow's advice seemed pretty measured. backward did say she was getting on her soapbox but you know how easy it is to do when you're writing a stream of consciousness on anything you feel passionate about so please don't take it badly.

Everyone needs to parent best for them. I'm refreshed actually that on this thread we have a mix of ff and bf mums, CC and not and actually he main thing we have in common is that our gorgeous babies were born around the same time. Let's just get on with sharing the ups and downs of that and posting balanced advice where needed but can we not fall out on here please - it's not AIBU.

plonko, why don't you have a search for more detailed advice on CC if you don't want to ask on this particular thread? And everyone else when we're giving advice to others, perhaps think about how you phrase it so that noone gets offended I'm not aiming this at anyone in particular - in fact I'm writing it for myself as well as you lovely lot - but the worst outcome would be for one of us hormonal, tired and stressed out mums to leave what is otherwise a really supportive thread.

Thanks...

plonko in no way was my post intended to be a criticism of what you are doing - I was just describing why controlled crying can be difficult to do at this young age and what we are doing just to share experiences. I am sorry if you felt this was a lack of support - we have all been there in the difficult times and all have different way of dealing with it. It sounded like you were trying the controlled crying method and your post indicated it wasn't working so was just trying to point out that there may be alternative ways to explore. Like you, I have not read any parenting books on purpose and am going with the flow.

And in other news... I got DD registered this morning hurrah :) Leni was it you who was asking above about which birth certificate you needed for the CB form as the registrar said it was the short one today and I can't remember what you said (can't scroll up on phone)?

zig - is there a HV baby clinic you could drop into later this week instead of having to wait another week before getting more advice? Not sure what else to suggest if you're doing everything else the HV would have suggested. Gripe water?? Have you got a sling or carrier you could use as DD loves sleeping on DH in our baby bjorn and I know that can help babies who otherwise can't nap. Your poor DS and you must be at your wits end today :(

Take care all of you - please xx

Look, I didn't mean to upset anyone, and plonko my post wasn't really aimed at you. I was just putting across the point that CC is not recommended before 6 months. Believe me, I know what it is like to have an incredibly unsettled child, but I don't think CC is the answer and I would suspect many HCPs would agree.

I'm not the perfect parent (E is currently napping on her front, don't tell the HV) but I am quite passionate about CC and just wanted to give a bit of balance to the advice.

Eig please stay. You and a few others havee been great when I've struggled, and I value your opinion.

Wing thank you for speaking sense. I felt I really needed to defend myself and justify why I am doing things the way I am. I have found fantastic support and advice on here up to now, because of the mix of experiences and opinions as you say.

Rainbow I wanted my baby to go to sleep. He wouldn't. I asked for someone to explain CC to me. I haven't necessarily decided to do any particular method, but I'd like to know what others do so that I can hope to preserve my sanity. I understand CC cannot work just based on one night, so we're going to give it a try - that's all.

Zig it sounds like you deserve a . Make it a big 'un eh?

Apparently we alternated into puke mode whilst I made the cup of tea. Now bib and muslin I left incase to catch it are soaked as is last clean sleepsuit. Changed nappy and put him in a sleepsuit that is too big, managed to catch puke before covering the new sleepsuit and we are now back in crying mode. I don't care if I'm being a bad mother I'm putting him in his crib to cry and hopefully fall asleep.

Must just be me making him cry. Put him in his crib and he cried for about 2 min then stopped. Went over to check he was ok and he's sat looking about. Then he starts to cry once he sees me so I've left him to it. He stopped again straight away and it's been quiet since. I don't dare look again incase he sees me lol.

Glad everyone seems to be back

zig, I feel for you but this will pass. It all sounds like crap but this time next week will be different. And if you can't believe that, then daydream about the lovely family Christmas you will have this year with your gorgeous 9-ish month old DS giggling and babbling away, playing with wrapping paper and ignoring all the presents you've bought him :)

Wise words from Wing there.

zig hope all is still quiet. Hopefully he'll manage a good stretch of sleep and wake up in a better mood. Now, put your feet up and drink that cup of tea, sounds like you need it!

Update on the oral thrush: you don't need a prescription from the doctor for the medication. I popped down to the chemist round the corner a little while ago, and they can do a pharmacist's prescription. No charge as it's for someone under sixteen. Handy information if your doctor's surgery is miles away.

Stormy did you get the Nystatin sticky goo? I'm covered in yellow stains... Stick your little finger in LO's mouth and squirt the stuff in the side, seems to work

My nipples may actually peel off soon, the skin's just disintegrating

Seems I'm far enough behind to miss the CC drama, we have no plan, just a routine of feed, nappy, colic relief and either sleep in rocker or bouncing in the sling until calm. In fact I can only advocate Boba Wraps - even when he's griping it helps him keep calm and the motion of walking sends him to sleep every time. If only I could wear him all night!

Blimey leni that sounds horrendous :( I'm having a (hopefully completely irrational) panic tonight as I've had some deep shooting pains in my left breast this evening for the past couple of hours, both when DD has fed on it and also a bit afterwards. Not that regular but enough to make me think that it felt like someone was poking me hard in the side of the boob

I've googled probably bad and most sites seem to say thrush, even if I've got no other symptoms, which I don't. I really really hope it isn't from what you ladies have said about how awful it is but I guess I'll find out soon enough as I doubt it'll just go away if I ignore it and that's what it is? :(

I had a sort of realisation yesterday that when DD has her post-evening-munch nap (tonight it was 8:00) that actually she's going down for bedtime at that time and effectively I've been waking her for a dream feed when we have to wake her 9:30ish, although she isn't asleep (I'm not sure you can breastfeed when they're asleep unlike putting a bottle teat in?).

So instead of letting her nap on me like I have done for most of her naps today, I've put her in the Moses basket which is down in the lounge and we'll wake her after the Man U match finishes and change her before giving her that last feed or feeds for the evening.
We will see if it works...

Wing thank you for keeping the thread together. You're so right. We're all doing things very differently but every household, family and baby is very different. Believe me, if I thought trying to get into a routine or controlled crying or swinging the baby from the bloody curtain poles would make my life easier I'd do it, it just so happens that no routine seems to be the easiest thing for us at the moment and really at the moment all I think we need to be doing is loving our beautiful babies and be kind to ourselves and each other because this parenting lark is tough!!!

Miss Madam has been a bloody pest all day today, just really whingey and clingy with screams whenever I've put her down or tried anything other than shoving a boob in her mouth! She had a growth spurt last week so don't think it's that again, I've been really snotty (nice) so hope she's not getting poorly.

Just trying to feed her to sleep as per usual bedtime plan in the hope we get a good few hours before the emergency choc digestives come into play. I've just opened a new pack for the night so plenty to share ladies once the 3am munchies come around!

I did a really long post earlier but the tinternet seems to have eaten it. Summary was that I really appreciate having you guys to check in on at stupid o'clock and hope we have got through any difficulties.

MiniPud does have a routine, and its quite baby whisperer, but he's put himself into it not the other way around. I have found reading it helpful as it gives me some ideas of what might be wrong, but only cos he's so nearly there already. Good night so far, dinner eaten in peace, hope that doesn't bode badly for tonight...

DD is having a lovely munch while DH and I enjoy watching Man U's success as we are sad footy fans in this household

SoYo, I take no credit for anything. We're all stressed, tired, hormonal and already possibly guilty (as all mums are!) and it's easy for things to kick off in this medium. I find that personally if I'm having a bad day I just have to step back from the thread or MN in general for a while and that's how I deal with things. But as you say we're all different

By the way, I think swinging babies from curtain poles is strictly illegal...

so it strikes me nappies are the key to this sleeping through malarkey. all our best nights have actually followed a series of nappies in quick sucession in early evening before LO is put to bed, so that when he eventually wakes up a gratifying number of hours later there is only an acceptably wet one to show for it. certainly that's been tonights pattern. if only that was something you could schedule!

That's really interesting pud.

DD went down later than normal at 11 and woke up at 2 do I feel like I'm lacking in sleep but only because we've been spoiled these past few nights! I think it's because I hadn't swaddled her very well (I've been using a Moses basket flat sheet to do it) and her arms were out and flailing and she was wide awake but admittedly not crying when I got her up. But I knew I'd have to re swaddle her at any rate so got her up for a feed.

Ironically DH had been saying earlier that he didn't think the swaddling made a difference I wanted to say that mother's instinct meant I knew it did bit now I (unfortunately) have some slightly more concrete evidence.

I'm going to see if she needs a change, then offer more milk and back down. Hope you're all sleeping well...

Definite fail here tonight. DD is very awake for some annoying reason so every time I put her down she's escaping from the swaddle and I start again: swaddle, feed (increasingly shorter time), try to put her down. Can't wait until she's old enough for a sleeping bag as although that won't solve the arms, I think it may help her to stay warm and snuggled.

I'm feeding upright in my bed at the moment. Worst bit of it is that DH is happily snoring away and that makes me so stabby. I know it's not his fault - but I just want to be asleep too and it's not fair that he is

Come on DD, sleep please...

I'm here too Wing feeling very of snoring DH. I even dreamed about a full nights sleep earlier.

For the last couple of weeks first feed has been at 2.30/3ish but tonight it was at12 & another now so I'm zombie-like.

Urgh.

Wing I too have the sharp pain inside my right boob during and after feed. Never thought it could be thrush. How's yours doing? Any better? I'm off to doc today as undercarriage still wrong four weeks after third degree op so I could Check with her (although I recall a scary sign in docs saying 'one appointment one problem'!)

Pud we too had our first cry free dinner at same time last night. Quite a treat! We also got first smiles yesterday which was special.

I'd like your advice ladies. Dd's yellow poo stained clothes are not coming clean. Have ruined several outfits now. Currently we shove things in a bucket to soak and then use ecover non bio liquid for 40 degree wash. This combo isn't cutting mustard so another approach required what works for you guys? Sorry for dull question!

Right, dd now snoring on my lap to time to return to bed. Birds are singing and up but I have no intention of joining them just yet....

Hey all, hope you're all ok.

Eco, I had pain in one breast whilst feeding and I think I had a blocked duct. Pain started one day and then the next evening I could feel a definite small lump. I managed to massage it away during a couple of feeds and it ses to have gone now (fingers crossed.)

Just on the poo stains on clothes etc. if you can, get the clothes into some natural light, either out on the line or hang them in a window and that will bleach out the stain. Works well for tomato/pasta type stains too!

All fine here, Alexander is nearly 5 weeks now, can't believe how quickly time is going by. No semblance of a routine here yet, but hoping it will drop into place like it did with his sister. Just keeping him with us until we come up to bed and feeding on demand, with a dummy thrown on at those times he's just wanting to suckle and I need to be doing something else.
Anyway, he's just nodded off after his feed, so going now and hopefully will do likewise!

I use fairy non bio (only in v small quantities in LOs wash) and wash at 40 usually and 60 for poonami (eg Muslins from changing mat which score a bonus direct hit) and no stains so far.

Trailing an app to keep track of LOs rhythms, seeing if easier to interpret than scribbled spreadsheet on notepad!

Yep for poo stains the best things sunlight but that's been in short supply lately. We've been rinsing the stain then soaking in some vanish then a good rub of stained area then 40 wash with fairy & 90% have come out.

I think the best thing for stains is nappysan. Whilst I think the ecological benefits of ecover are great, I doubt it'll have the power against super-strength baby poo!

DD woke again before 6, just 1.5 hrs after I got her to sleep at 3:30 :( Again I think it's because I didn't swaddle her very well do she was too active in her light sleep stage and woke up. Grr. And then again at 6;30 and I'm feeding her now. Sleep FAIL! SoYo - like you I'd been lulled into a false sense of security the last few nights... :(

Meant she woke again at 5 not 6. I've just pumped on the side she'd finished feeding on as I didn't want to drain the other side and got an ounce/30mls out. I think that's okay for the first time? I've got a manual tommee tippee pump. I didn't pump the other side to the one she was feeding on as I predicted she would need to feed from that side too - which she's doing now.

Is that a good way of doing it? Advice please! I'll do some more after she's fed on this side - it's okay to express from two sides into one bottle?

Thanks for telling me about your boob pain too. Feels okay this morning but I'll keep feeling for lumpy bits.