November 2012 - They WERE sleeping, what happened?

[StuntNun]

Previous thread: www.mumsnet.com/Talk/postnatal_clubs/1688444-November-2012-Forget-50-books-in-2013-well-have-50-threads

I'm taking over night feeds. I can't be arsed with the fallout from DP doing them. I just make him get up and fetch the bottle and a nappy so I don't have to get out of bed.

Lazy bitch even rang him while he was sleeping on the sofa last night to get me a bottle. Well. He was getting up in 15 mins anyway. I figure if he can't sort his arse out and stop putting his child in danger falling asleep with him, bottle in mouth, perched precariously then he can fuck off if he thinks it's a way of him getting a full nights sleep.

The wrap has their legs sticking out btw same as arms!

What's brown and sticky?
A stick!

Knock knock.
Who's there?
Ammonia.
Ammonia who?
Ammonia (I'm only a) little girl and I can't reach the doorbell.

I put my back out playing piggy back with my son yesterday. I fell off! (Thank you Tommy Cooper.)

Two TV aerials fell in love and got married. The ceremony was rubbish but the reception was brilliant. (Tommy Cooper again!)

How many surrealists does it take to change a lightbulb?
Fish.

How many psychiatrists does it take to change a lightbulb?
Only one but the lightbulb has to want to change.

Did you hear about the guitarist that locked his keys in his car? It took two hours to get the drummer out.

A woman brings eight-year-old Johnny home and tells his mother that he was caught playing doctors and nurses with Mary, her eight-year-old daughter. Johnny's mother says, "Let's not be too harsh on them... they are bound to be curious about sex at that age." "Curious about sex?" replies Mary's mother. "He's taken her fucking appendix out!"

A man walks into the doctor's wearing only a pair of transparent trousers and says, "Doctor, doctor I think I'm going crazy." The doctor replies, "Yes I can clearly see your nuts."

"Waiter, waiter what's this fly doing in my soup?"
"Looks like the backstroke sir."

Two goldfish are in a tank; one says, "You drive, I'll work the gun."

An Englishman, Irishman and Scotsman walk into a bar. The bartender says, "Is this some kind of joke?"

Knock knock.
Who's there?
Boo.
Boo who?
There's no need to cry.

I'm here all week!

oh thanks Detective, it looks like an envelope from the website picture!

Did you hear about the dyslexic satanist that started worshipping Santa...?

What do you get if you cross a kangaroo with a sheep?

A woolly jumper.

What do you call a thousand lawyers at the bottom of the sea?

A good start.

Did you hear about the new Italian tank?

1 forward gear, 15 reverse.

(See I don't discriminate, I'm rude to everyone... )

I thought that too rooty

What kind of dance do you do on a trampoline?

Hip hop

What did one volcano say to another?

I lava you.

How do athletes stay cool?

They stand in front of the fans.

Where does a dog park its car?

In a car bark.

I asked my husband for a joke. He said 'the Conservative welfare policy'. Bundle of laughs he is.

J seems to have chosen 9.30 as his bed time. He has settled at this time (mostly) for a couple of nights now.

Night night ladies and wee ones x

Working mothers are a scientific experiment to prove that sleep isn't necessary for life.

Pat: Hey, Chris! How's your new pet fish doing? You told me he was really something special.
Chris: To tell you the truth, I'm really disappointed in him. The guy who sold him to me said I could teach him to sing like a bird.
Pat: You bought a fish because you thought you could teach him to sing like a bird? I can't believe it!
Chris: Well, yeah. After all, he's a parrot fish.
Pat: I hate to tell you this, Chris, but while you might be able to teach a parrot bird to sing, you're never going to get anywhere with a parrot fish.
Chris: That's what you think! He can sing all right. The thing is, he keeps singing off-key. It's driving me crazy. Do you know how hard it is to tuna fish?

Apparently DH wants sex. He has lit candles & everything

Suppose I should reward his effort.

Night all.

Has anyone ever had a bad experience with daktakort ointment? 2 main ingredients are mircronazote nitrate (2%) and hydrocortisone (1%). Been prescribed it for m's skin. Less than a minute after putting it on she went bright red and started screaming (real horrible pain screams). I have washed it off and we are cuddling now. I am fucking furious

Well after a frustrating morning/early afternoon the day has ended better. Very little happened here between 9:30am and 2:30pm. I just seemed to spend the time waiting for either nurses to turn up or DH to bring in DD1 to visit. It's times like his him not driving is a real pain in the arse! Still around three ish the nurses finally came to tube feed Ella an DH and DD arrived with the in laws in tow. I actually got to escape from the room and have a coffee with mil and then me and DH took DD to the play room and outside play area so I got some fresh air. They left around five and then my Dsis and bil came about 7pm for a couple of hours. E is now fast asleep and I'm just catching up on the thread before I try and get some sleep before E's 11pm tube feed. Actually that's in 45mins so no point falling asleep before as I'll probably feel worse at 11pm then.

I know what you all mean re actually feeling worse if you have more sleep. The adrenaline keeps us going so when we get more sleep its like our body gets used to it and wants more. So wrong isn't it!

sweetpea happy birthday for tomorrow.

mm cross posts, but sorry no, I've not even heard of the ointment but DD1 has used hydrocortisone in the past with no problems. Hope she's ok.

mm no but I can't imagine they would have prescribed it knowing that would be the reaction. A side effect is skin burning sensation and irritability especially in children though this effects 1/1000. Reading again the info on it and it seems a commonly prescribed cream, and those stats coincide with that.

I'd go back to the gp. Pretty sure they'll have an alternative but obviously don't use it again.

Tonight in the curry house, we got given £2 for e. this is not the first time this has happened. He's had all sorts of coins placed in his hands. The man said how lovely it was to see a whole family eating a meal out.

eliza any ideas what it is yet?

Eliza that does sound positive, in that you got a break.

Arse bugger and shit wank cunt. I was joking with the paed yesterday about having had the full house of winter illnesses. She said no, you haven't had gastro enteritis or whatever the fuck it is called. We laughed.

DD1 in bed just now. Went in to put LO to bed. Looked round. DD1 sat up and vommed spectacularly across our bed. Have changed the sheets, put her freaking soft toys in the washing machine... DH put her under the shower, have put pjs in the bin because, quite frankly, can't be arsed.

3 things.

1. I will never eat banana again
2. I can't fucking believe that I have another ill child. This is just un fucking believable. If the rest of us get it I swear we are just fucking cursed. This is just beyond a joke. I was planning a day out FFS. A day out. Ha! Bad fucking decision.
3. Fuck. That' all.

You know at Christmas I was saying on here that I was going to plan a weekend away once DD1 was over her illness. We haven't had a healthy weekend since. I was just planning one day out. One day. One. 1.

It's March. Life is supposed to improve in March, except for the blackbirds in my garden who are getting their arses kicked by my cats. A the beginning of February I said it's OK, March is coming. But March is proving to be a huge crock of shit too.

Bugger.

Fuck it.

Bring on April.

mm we have that ointment for Js skin as he has a horrendous rash around his neck, pribably frm the amount he drools! He hasn't reacted badly to it at all but did react like that to an antibiotic cream before we got the daktacort.

Oh pr what an absolute pile of shit. So sorry!

The only 2 tests left to do is for the disease where you are gluton intolerant (I know it begins with C but can't remember how you spell it). One of the wise ladies on here mentioned it yonks a go. Think it was vq. And cystic fibrosis. I was shocked when they said that and it was one of the things that came up in my dreaded google search but I really don't think she has CF. But they can't rule anything out till the tests are done and then they'll form an action plan as it will just be a case of her not getting enough milk from me.

Ok well if you can rule out cystic fibrosis then coeliac disease (is that the name?) is manageable. It's quite common, if a bit of a trial to get used to.

It was me that mentioned the coeliac disease, my SIL has it. It's a bit of a pain because it limits eating out but otherwise it's pretty easy to manage diet-wise. It's not terribly common in babies though so let's hope it isn't that Eliza. Someone in the quiche has a DC with CF but my brain is mush and I can't remember who. Could it be VQ?

Fingers crossed it is a milk supply issue. I know that would be upsetting but would be by far the easiest thing to deal with in the long run. and to you eliza. Hospital sucks when it's for yourself, let alone when it's for a LO.

Oh, the daffs emoticon has gone. Bugger. It was pretty.