October 2012... PELVIC FLOORS!

[Londonmrss]

Ready...
Steady...
And squeeze!

Smorgs that's rubbish about being ill on holiday, bloody rubbish timing

Elpis at only 2nd night off, jeez, that's tough. Also laugh at playdate. I can't bear to think of it - I was never a fan of other peoples' children sometimes I'm not a great fan of my own at times

Mickey a short message from you - what is up with your MIL? Is it something serious?

First sympathy with the ongoing bad nights, I think I would also find it worse if you have had better times before. I can't imagine now how I survived the first few weeks when I was up every two hours or so. I'm moaning now cos I'm up at 6am not 7am (which would be much more civilised I feel!) but I have nothing to moan about at all. Big hugs.

CherryCherry Erin moves around her cot like mad, really wriggly in her sleep - but she has a baby sleeping bag so it goes with her - maybe that would help a bit?

I've had a tough couple of days, not really sure why, I've just been a bit tearful and finding being on call 24/7 for Erin hard. And then I feel bad because she is such a good cheery baby and a really good sleeper. I think it's because the weather is getting better and I just want some freedom to do what I want. I've not ridden my horse for a year now - partly because I've been getting my saddle fixed though.

I just think it's that life as it was before has gone - maybe I'm quite a selfish person? Selfish in my head though because Erin never wants for anything in practice, but then it maybe takes it out of me. And DH has been really busy at work so he's not been around much so sometimes I feel like a single mother (however, he is upstairs settling Erin as we speak). So if I want a break I've been going down to my mum's house - but then I think I've been seeing too much of her so we get nippy at each other. Jeez, what a moan, sorry...

So then I feel guilty because I have a lovely baby, I'm not going back to work til July and have agreed 3 days a week with my boss which is great. Plus we've just got a new house and will be moving this month. There is nothing to moan about really but sometimes I just feel it is relentless with no end. I mean my poor mother is still putting up with me and she's 62. What a thought

Zara, my DF is an it chap, so fingers firmly crossed he'll be able to do the honours. He has ordered a thingy which we need and hoping that'll do. Trying not to panic.

Would be interested on your tips about travelling with powder. We are moving to formula, but the hypoallergenic stuff and so won't be able to buy ready made (it doesn't exist). When we are on hols it should be fine, as i will take the microwave steriliser, I'm just more worried about the journey. It's only Spain, but when you add in travel to the airport, faffage at the airport and so on, it ends up being a day in transit. I would plan to take four or five already sterilised, empty bottles. V. Helpful to know that Evian us would be ok. Is there a Spanish water equivalent for the return journey? Other tips? Did you give DS a dummy for landing and take off?

Elpis, that sounds bad manners. Grr.

Livvy not sure if there's a Spanish equiv - best thing to do would be to check what the sodium levels in Evian/Volvic are and then find a Spanish one which has similar levels, I imagine? Or Dr Google?

Powder for flight: pack enough for at least 5-6 bottles (to cover delay etc). Try feed baby right before you leave the house, too!! I packed enough backup powder for 10 bottles for my longhaul flights, by comparison. Put powder in a ziplock bag inside a plastic box, with your scoop. If you need water to be hot/warm, take skinny plastic thermos and after security ask a cafe to fill it up with water for you. Then fill your bottles with that water, and get thermos refilled.

Takeoff and landing didn't bother DS too much as he was so young I think. But we had dummy, bottle and finger on standby! If you have recently stopped bf when you fly, you might try offer a boob if baby gets really frantic?

If you're going to feed for take-off, wait (unless baby is screaming) until you're going fast down the runway so you have enough for the climb. For the landing, wait until you feel that first pop in your ears. Baby will probably start squirming around the same time in discomfort.

And!!! Dettol surface wipes! Take these! Wipe down surface area and your hands before preparing bottles! Airports and aircraft are disgusting places. I have a pack of these in my nappy bag for wiping the change mat after poonamis when out and about

And I find that Milton antibac hand liquid has the best/thinnest consistency for easiest use on a plane/when you don't have time to faff around.

I have test driven all the hand gels

thanks Zara that's brilliant!

No probs

Horsey and Livvy, also, for trips of that length (which I'll be doing soon too!) I prob wouldn't bother taking a travel steriliser on the plane. BUT I would take a few Milton tabs with me in my hand luggage - in case checked luggage got lost etc.

If eg baby ate like a mad thing and you ran out of clean bottles - my plan would be to try to wash and rinse the teat especially in very hot water, if you can't sterilise.

Also what am I thinking!!! No need to pack your microwave sterilisers, if you want, get microwave sterlising bags!! They're good for about 20 goes each! You can fit two bottles a time in them.

Aargh, just as I typing last few sentences of last post. DH appears with an awake baby and announced 'She won't settle, I think she's teething, where is the medicine?'. Yeah like she's just started teething now he's home. Why does it need a 'fix' and not just a bit of persistence to get her down??!

Zara that is an encyclopaedia-like knowledge of travel and feeding there, impressed

I think Erin had wind, she's asleep now, I think I might go to bed too.

Angelico thinking of you, hope you are ok.

katla when are you hoping to get back on? I had a minor hissy fit tonight for spending more time travelling to the horse than spending time with her. I think she will end up coming closer to home onto a livery yard :( I fear it may be the only way after the summer.

I've got a 32km endurance ride Saturday.

Just a quick message - thanks so much for your lovely messages and thoughts, much appreciated. Funeral is tomorrow. Just went in to see my uncle tonight for final time, gave him a card and lots of photos of him and the bean (and a couple of the rest of us :) ). It was so hard to leave him felt like we were abandoning him :( Tomorrow will be really tough but hopefully a celebration of his life. My aunt has had so many lovely cards from so many different people saying how brill he was and it's a great comfort to her. She is really enjoying seeing the bean too.

Must go to bed here but thank you all for your kindness, will have a proper catch up when home next week x

No mission of me catching up. Only to say Zara, you are a guide book personified!

Oh and to add to your font of info, Aptamil do do ready Mades in a pack with teats but they are hard to find! Think they are a pack of 6, designed for hospital use sort of idea. But think they are glass. Not sure if airport would allow glass bottles?? Wonder why they don't do those plastic ones with separate teats like SMA? Must be a strong patent or something?!

First I'm not being exactly helpful but my DS has never fully regained sleep...... Worst patch was start of Feb, hourly wakes. Now he wakes still every 2-3 hrs but much easier to settle, half of time feeds, half not. I truly don't hav energy to try harder not to feed........ But as I say, most of the time he is easier to settle. I've read so much about this. Truly think is due to mixture of cognitive changes and being bf thus having less full tummy. Vainly hoping as our daytime formula feeds gradually increase he won't need to wake. And I coped fine with day at work after about 4 feeds........

Hello all
Not sure if you remember me, I posted two or three threads back and then promptly disappeared. I will be better this time. I have a 21 week old (almost 22) who was 6 weeks early and is ds2. His sleep is starting to fall into a bit of a pattern, he falls asleep at about 8.30-9 and then awake at 1ish then 5ish and then about 7.30 but can't really stay awake for long at that waking, I think it's more the noise of ds1 getting up and daylight. He is in a cot and has been since he was about 8 weeks but this week he has started rolling regularly. During the day it's during tummy time and at night it's from his back to his front. I found him a couple of times with his head straight in the mattress and it looks like his nose and mouth are covered. It's very scary. Also he seems to scoot across and then roll so his arms and legs get trapped through the bars. Has anyone else had this? LO is ebf and we are going to start solids at 26 weeks. I have mixed feelings about it, but its mostly my own not wanting him to grow up too quickly and we are currently looking at nurseries. Found a lovely one yesterday. Well that's us, I'm going to catch up now. Looking forward to getting to know you all (again).

thinking of you angelico
squid how are your friends with the premie baby doing?

Ugh, a full week of sleep regression here, AND refusing to finish FF.

So this morning, after exhausting possible teething/illness scenarios, I snapped and gave Naomi some risk with her milk. Only a quarter as I don't want to rush her. After sitting very still with the spoon in her mouth a couple of times, she ACTUALLY ATE IT!! I'm positive she would have had some more, but tiny steps and all that.
Think I will give her some more tonight whilst we have tea so she gets used to eating with us, but am aware this may have been a one off!

Oh and yesterday she began to roll from her back onto her side at last :)

I gave her rusk not risk!

And the chick my DD, also dc2 was born by ELCS 6 wks early as well at end of Sept. As was DS1 now 5, so if you need any advice or anything feel free to shout :) Xx

Right, mammoth catch up here I come. Some of these are responses to things pages back but I'm nothing if not thorough!

Elpis, I am still undecided about work, current thinking is returning 2 days a week to give me a bit of mental space from dd as I am finding it all a bit challenging and full on. We're not being totally strict about just using DH's salary but our experiment has shown that it would be do-able if a bit restricting. He takes out £100 per week cash which sits in a tin in a drawer and we can both help ourselves to it for spending money (coffee while out, etc) but when it's gone, it's gone until the next week. That way I'm not having to ask him for money. He also sticks money into a joint account for groceries and fuel and we both have a debit card for that account, and we keep track of what we've spent. Any larger purchases, we just run them by each other first. Seems to be working OK although it's still a bit of a novelty and a "challenge", I think after a few months it would get frustrating, but it's working for now.

Huffle, you were mentioning settling in cot - dd does grizzle when she self settles, for up to 10 mins. If it turns into a cry, I intervene and soothe her, if not I leave her. She seems to need to grumble herself to sleep! She can occasionally self settle like this if she wakes early from a daytime nap but only rarely.

Beccus, I want to thank you again, it was your post ages ago which inspired me to take a more consistent, determined approach to helping dd to self settle and we're really starting to get somewhere with it, so thank you! Daytime is still hard, she cries most of the time as soon as she is laid down in her cot and she needs to be picked back up a few times but she gets the idea eventually. I think she finds that transition to awake to sleepy to asleep hard in the daytime, even with 15 mins of winding down beforehand. But we'll get there.

CWest, just wanted to say that I remember how worried you were about your birth and about whether to stay conscious for it - doesn't that seem like ages ago!

Turnwest, I'm glad my post helped you, I wanted you to know you are not alone. And I'm glad you're feeling better.

Sorry to not namecheck anyone else, I pledge to try to keep up more.

Hi all! Welcome back chick we have had scooting around in cot but not turning over. There was a discussion a few pages ago around this though if you read back, apparently you can get some kind of velcro thing to stop it although I think the official advice is not to worry to much as once they roll you can't really stop it and they are more capable of rolling back themselves at this age.

Thinking of you today angelico - funerals are not nice but are at least the end of the beginning so I hope it provides some closure for you.

kyyria I am in liverpool so watch out for your tyres (only I may make that joke )

According to my phone wonder weeks app we are now entering leap 5 so are on amber alert with phasers set to stun...

This pretty good here, apart from the last two nights where we have had a 2 hour chatting in our cot and keeping mummy awake incident the last week has been OK sleep wise with DD being relatively easy to settle at around 7/7:30 then two night feeds (the second one is normally around 5:30 so I am terming this an early morning feed as it makes me feel better!) then up for the day at 7-8am. She will occasionally sleep 7-8 hours for her first stretch which as friend pointed out if we were putting her down at 11/12 would be sleeping through so that cheered me up. TBH I think that would be impossible as she was getting so kranky in the evenings and I do love that bit of time with DH to eat our tea in peace and catch up so it's not a bad compromise. We'll be 6 months in 3 weeks an at the moment DD is sleep in in the travel cot in our room as DH is too lazy to take down and reassemble the proper cot I can't wait for her to go into her own room now, just think we will disturb each other much less but I am still a bit jumpy about doing it before 6 months even though she obviously is sleeping in our room on her own in the early evening now anyway. DH and I are going to discuss it again at the weekend.

Have started preparing and freezing any spare veg we have in preparation for weaning (so far = one parsnip but it's a start). We got given the Annabel Karmel book for Christmas so are going to basically use that but probably have finger foods from the start as well. Will probably also give a couple of days of baby rice at the start as well, I know its kind of unnecessary but having seen DD's reaction to calpol (spitting out then an hour of crying) I think bland at first may be the way to go! Babies have lots more taste buds than us so even bland things taste pretty exciting to them IMO. DH has started 'weaning training' (practising with empty cup and spoon) which is slightly comical (yes I have filmed him on the sly) but is going well she is pretty good at getting things in her mouth and can sit about 30 seconds unsupported so I'm pretty confident she'll be ready at 6 months (DH thinks before but also that the sun shines out of her every orifice and she is the most advanced baby ever) but watch this space...

So, my news...

Feeding is going well now although I seem to have had a spate of blocked ducts, starting when I started running again so I wonder whether a tight sports bra is to blame. I tackled the first one (blocked duct, not run) with gusto, compresses, dangle feeding etc but got lazy with the second and third and they just seem to have cleared themselves. I am going to try Lecithin supplements so will report back.

DD still won't take a bottle, we had a tantalizing glimmer of success with a sippy cup but it seemed to be a one off. But DH is taking her more during his off days and sometimes overnight and her overnight sleep (apart from during the regression, shudder) seems to have settled into a rough 5 hours, 3 hours, 3 hours cycle which I can cope with. She is on the brink of so many new things - she has found her knees (long body and short, chubby legs mean that her toes are frustratingly out of reach at the moment), and occasionally gets near to rolling. I'm trying to let her do her own thing and not help her but she doesn't enjoy being on her back often so there are not many opportunities for her to practice.

Emotionally I have been up and down. I think I'm fine but then something will not go to plan (like I can't settle her back to sleep if she wakes early from a nap) and I will totally over-react to it. Had a really, really bad day last Saturday, got really angry, shouted at DD, was scared I would hurt her. Managed to put her down and walk away but broke a door by hitting it, screamed myself hoarse and spent a long time in a shuddering crying heap on the floor. Eventually phoned my HV who came round, sent me to the docs and by the end of the day I was on antidepressants and referred to the perinatal mental health team. That was a full on day... I am going to beat this. Saw a CBT man yesterday, the first of 10 sessions to help me tackle the anger and will be getting an appointment with the perinatal mental health people next week. I feel more positive now, I am getting help, I'm not just imagining that I'm not coping sometimes, and just having people agree with that is a help in itself. It's not that bad very often but it's scary when it is. I completely can't cope with things not going to plan, or not going how I expect them to go. I don't have any ability to be flexible and just accept it if I feel like I'm not managing something. And dd is a little chaotic system that I just don't know how to cope with!

Anyway... that's me. That all sounded far more negative than I wanted it to. Things are OK, just tough sometimes. Cheer up, Yomping!

Have a nice weekend, Nobbers. Don't forget your pelvic floors!

yomping I really admire you for accepting that there are issues and taking such positive action to help yourself.

just a post about me. I'm having a shit day. looking after two tiny children is just physically impossible sometimes and today is one of those days. it's pissing it down, ds2 is overtired and constantly crying, ds1 is miserable as a result, I was evil to dh this morning, I've got my godmother's funeral tomorrow, a 3hr drive away, and it's going to start snowing again soon and summer's never going to come.

I left the car in a carpark this morning with the back door wide open for over an hour. fucking idiot. thank god nothing worse than ds2's carseat getting soaked happened

I just want to crawl under the duvet and hide for about a month.

Cwest30 2 early babies. I really don't think I could handle it, but I suppose you just do!! I take my hat off to you!!

Wooly thanks for the welcome (back) yes, I read back and saw that there was talk about it. Not sure if the putting the head in the mattress thing is something he'll grow out of. I'm hoping so!!