November 2012 - Don't forget the tummy time

[StuntNun]

Previous thread: www.mumsnet.com/Talk/postnatal_clubs/1664696-November-2012-By-eck-we-can-talk

Stats list: www.mumsnet.com/Talk/antenatal_clubs/1485512-November-2012-Stats-List

Zcos we went with a bedtime routine but in his own room and cot. We couldn't get one working when he was in our room. He now has bath at 7pm, milk at 7.30 and is asleep usually by 8pm. I shush and rock just til he is dozy and then put down with Ewan and he usually self settles within 10 mins. We've been doing this a week now and he's really got it. I think he's been getting far over tired. He wakes usually around 1 and 5 for feeds and sleeps til 8/8.30.

Well Trddy been a star, slept 11-5.30ish. But ds1 woke at 4.40, because his damn toy rabbit fell out of bed. And then had half an hour of hysterics as he wanted to get up. Managed to calm him down, although have heard him singing and chatting to rabbit. But obv Teddy woke before I managed to drop off. And he's been fussing a bit - I think wind sometimes hinders the first feed of the day. So hasn't managed to go back down yet. And anticipating ds1 will seriously want to get up soon. What's happened to my weekend lie-ins? At least I don't want to be getting up even earlier than weekdays!

VQ, feel your pain being up with dd all night.

Katie I avoided the bat. He was just watching tv. No drink. But I still pretended to b asleep to avoid confrontation. Or rather me yelling at him.

Tits. I've often mentioned GF contented baby. I don't follow it as I can not get up at 7 to start my day. However I keep its techniques in mind and use when appropriate. Ie wen LO was feeding more at night then day I ensured I feed LO more often during day even if I had to wake him. I try and create sleep associations, bed time is in bedroom not falling asleep downstairs. I basically take the bits I like of different books n mash them together. N it works. Well for me.

Could also try pick up put down method. Baby cries. U pick up. As soon as they r settled u put down. U have to b patient with this one. Can take ages. But good if u don't like CC.
I'm a believer in not picking up at the first cry HOWEVER am not a real follower of controlled crying. I'm to much of a wimp. I more listen out for type of cry n leave/ pick up accordingly.

I think the mish mash approach I used has worked for us (I do think it depends on LO) as he is now in his crib blowing bubbles in the dark

Right bk to sleep for me.

tits I really liked the no cry sleep solution. I'm not a fan of CC. Just the name makes me shudder.

zcos you post about enjoying your time was precious. I remember when I was in hospital I used to love the night feeds because it was the only time it was just me and DD

GT glad to hear there was no bloodshed

thanks Katie

and its
easy to.be precious when your in a positive mood though... snow finally gone here and I will be leaving house tommorow feel like I have been hibernating looking forward to going out for shopping and visit to my parents dd first other house but am a bit scared too ... how silly is that think I'm on the age of getting agoraphobia.
oh Katielily when did you try no cry or are there tips you can use any age... heard got things not sure what type of programme it is.

oh pikz how old is was your lo when placed in own room feel quite nervous about it doors will need to be shut or dc1 and dc2 (cats) would get in. think I need to ensure monitor works first when I tried last week to put her down with turtle playing she really wouldn't go 7-11 is normally her wide awake time and she constantly cluster feeds!

Oh GT forgot to say about periods, I've just finished my third since Christmas Eve! I've made an appointment with the GP since there were only 11 days between the last two.

yw build your own

Well, that sucked. Longest sleep was an hour and a half - what's that about?

Are you due a growth spurt Kirren?

izzy I know am late to this discussion but DS1 was a big baby with a massive head, he was born on the 91st centile and never deviated. He s now a tall slim, but not skinny, healthy looking toddler. I took him for his two year check and he is still on the 91st centile!

O is on about 73rd, but was just 1lb less than DS1. So I don't know what that is all about. It's the head.

Anyway what I am trying to say is don't worry.

(At the other end of the scale DD2 was on 25th but you could tell looking at her she was fine, she is just dainty.)

I am clearly a very bad mummy. I have been known to do a gental version of CC for all three of my children. I think if you have more than one, you sometimes have no option but to.

I hate it when people say that the baby is stressed. That just adds to mother guilt (see above). I believe if the baby needs something they will keep yowling. Letting them learn, not teaching them, to self settle, is not about putting them down the emd of the garden or over the other side of the house, it is getting to know your baby, recognising his sleep cues, giving him some kind of pattern so he can feel safe that his care giver will look after him. Sometimes babies need to be allowed to cy it out if being awake is actually more stressful. As you get to know your baby you will recognise these times.

Last night I had to tend to two vomiting siblings. J woke at six, had been put down at 3.45 so was not hungry given he had a good feed and is 13 weeks old. He cried. He self settled. He is still asleep. I could tell from his cry he was pissed off at being awake. Waking him further and force feeding would not help matters.

Mummy and baby need to be ready for this. It is not easy but so worth it. He is a different baby and now, most times, I put him in the cot and he beams up at me, turns his head away and shuts his eyes. That is not the action of a baby with anxiety.

Parents choose many different approaches to managing sleep, and co-sleeping, while it worked for us for a while, became a risk I was not prepared to take any more.

I have not slept all night yet the two dying swans are bouncing around like nothing happened. I am very tired indeed so apologies if I have been a bit straight in my post. It is, after all, my own opinion and others will differ.

Ahhh VQ you do great by the sounds of it..we all do what works for us, and we all like you say 'know our own baby', which is why I let dd have a lick of my banana yesterday whoo hoo she is 16 weeks or is it 17 weeks ( chick help me out here I've lots count ). Anyway she was keen so I'm looking forward to weaning soon but not yet.

No you are not VQ. L whimpers a bit when he self settles and sometimes he has to cry while I clean bottles or warm a feed.

Everyone knows their child and what works for them. If L hadn't settled in his own room I'm sure DP would have done a little CC. I can't do it as I'm a wimp and it makes my boobs hurt!

tits from what I've gathered from the few books I've read all the routines amounts to same thing. Gf and the baby whisperer all work to times etc. Gf just tells you times exactly, baby whisperer goes in cycles. If you look at them both side by side they're essentially telling you the same thing.

Ds has a hungry cry, he has a tired cry. To be honest that's the only time he really cries. Oh he'll cry tomorrow for his jabs. he sometimes cries if bored.

No snow!!!!

Yes!!!!!

I'm going riding :)

You're quite right of course VQ. I worry that some mums get pressure to let their baby cry it out and are told that you are spoiling them if you cuddle them when they're crying. In reality there are many different sorts of cry, some are an announcement of discontent whereas others mean "I need attention right now." FTMs when your babies are toddlers/older children you quickly learn there is a difference between the "I have a minor injury" cry and the "I need medical attention" cry. When you hear the latter one you start running as a matter of instinct. It's just the same with babies, you respond differently to different types of cry.

Morning everyone. Good night here. DD1 is still asleep so no daytime nap for her today. LO was up at 7, and I've settled down to watch the tennis.

She's 11 weeks tomorrow stunt so a bit early for a growth spurt, but not impossible?

VQ it sounds like you've done a great job getting J to settle himself, and he's obviously happy doing. It was interesting what younsaid about him being annoyed to be awake as that iscwhat I think about N most nights sometimes. I need to start watching her more closely and being a bit more proactive about her sleeping, rather than just going with it I think.

Enjoy your ride horsey

This time last week I'd had 4 nights of 6hr sleeps (me) and 7+hrly feeds. Not so this week. I'm hoping its his cold so he'll go back to the longer gaps soon - it was 3hrly feeds last night :( At least they were short & he barely woke. I think once his cold has gone, I'll try the dummy/letting him self-settle (he never gets to the crying stage at night) as he can go longer. But with a cold, I worry he has a sore throat or is thirsty from breathing open-mouthed iyswim.

GT I'd forgotten that! I seem to think there were quite a few ladies on that thread... :)

"vq" I'm sorry I think it was my post which lead to yours ... I don't think your a bad mummy was recounting what I have read because I am totally confused I was attempting cc about a week ago for two weeks but know now.I wasn't ready and still very confused.about what I should or shouldn't do especially re sleep I couldn't cope hearing dd cry and.worry I won't get evenings back ever... your post gives me hope that I could try again which was one of the options I mentioned earlier. when did you try the cc from and what did your version entail? I don't know whether any.info on studies could really be accurate you dont know exactly what they do with babies exactly. I know babies are not predictable but do get the feeling that if men were prime care givers there would be more invested.in baby research and they would have cracked the enigma code by mnow!

Morning.

Crying is an emotional topic - why wouldn't it be? I was saying to DH last night that I had surprised myself with the parenting style which seems to be emerging. I think I now know the difference between P's actual crying and grumbling or whining. From very early on DH and I would put P in her basket and lie there watching the clock timing how long she grumbled for. I never let it go to full on crying and it never went past 5 minutes. If t went on past 5 minutes I would go and check on her, speak to her, put my hand on her chest and so on. My very initial response was to feed her as soon as she cried - a few vom incidents sorted that out. I have never read about controlled crying or the pick up/put down method - we just did what seemed to make sense. For example, right now I am sitting next to P who is in her Moses basket. She was very tired an really wanted to sleep but was struggling to. I have held her hand, talked gently and made sure she has her dummy if she wants it. In this time she has whined ad occassionally cried out. She has also smiled and momentarily cried out. She is now asleep.

All of our babies are different. I imagine that some babies woul work themselves up into a frenzy if their mum doesn't pick them up. P actually gets more and more upset if I don't put her down to sleep.

If your heart isn't in something then it won't work for you.

Not a bad night in the pig household ? feeds at 2, 4 and 7.30. She would have been in her crib all night too apart from the facr I was too tired lazy to settle her back at 4.

Day 5 of poo watch has begun?

YW I really don?t like new builds either, which is a shame as you can get 95% mortgages on a lot of them so it?s the only way I?ll realistically ever get on the property ladder.

zcos when I give LO ebm I have to warm it to boob temperature otherwise she gags on it But as some kind soul vq pointed out, I may have been experiencing some growth spurt boob bashing!

Pass you are so right. We have got the hang of night time and when he needs to go down. Now I'm trying to do same with daytime naps. Currently he naps in car/ on us etc right now trying first nap in cot as he was getting all fractious and I realised he's tired.

zcos it is a minefield and no matter what method you read about you will find vigorous arguments both for and against. You will find a manner of parenting styles on this group probably at the very ends of spectrum and all the shades of gray in between. Pick out the parts which feel right to you and see if you can implement them. Also, just because it doesn't work this week does not mean in won't next week.

stunt I agree with the crying thing in my limited experience. P rarely properly cries and when she does it is usually total over tiredness or hunger. I find I can cope easily with these cries even if they go on for a while. However, the pain cry is awful and my stress level immediately goes through the roof. Like when my friend was here and p started screaming - every bone in my body just wanted her back to make it better.