November 2012 - By 'eck we can talk

[StuntNun]

Previous thread: www.mumsnet.com/Talk/postnatal_clubs/1660171-November-2012-the-best-post-natal-quiche-on-MN

Stats list: www.mumsnet.com/Talk/antenatal_clubs/1485512-November-2012-Stats-List

PR I would avoid gradients for a while as you appear to have difficulty staying upright on the level.

garden great name

glenda I think moving out would be a bit drastic if you still want to be with him.

My husband has a contract!!! Only 11 hours a week, but it is a contract, and any hours worked over that get paid at overtime rate. Not sure what the overtime is - minimum wage plus a third possibly, but better than nowt.

glenda try the flylady.net. I only started this week and it has made a massive diff to the house and my state of mind. And have noticed DH has started doing some stuff he doesn't normally do, like, tidied the cushions on the sofa before he went to bed. I hadn't said anything. It looks hard but if you don't rush and take it a step at a time should work a treat.

Have fun this afternoon detective

Yep I don't know how some shops get away with it, if a disabled person went in and caused a fuss they could be in loads of trouble. As a double buggy the donkey is quite narrow and I can generally get in door etc but manoeuvring around some shops is a nightmare, even was with the single buggy, they pack the rails so close together.

I agree with Sophia, your DH may respond a little to the Flylady routines. I have my control journal pinned to the noticeboard so in the evening when DH asks what needs to be done before he can relax I tell him to look at that. When those chores are done the HW is over for the day. For example one day he depressedly started unloading the dishwasher and I said, Don't do that, the dishwasher gets emptied in the morning. I find the best thing about Flylady is that it's limited, you're not battling an unending array of chores. Once you've done everything in your control journal and your daily mission then you're done for the day. If you have time you can do a 27-fling boogie or five minute room rescue but you don't have to. Also the daily missions cycle round so if you fall off the wagon or get sick and miss some, they'll happen again in a few weeks.

Detective, normal life is exceptionally difficult for wheelchair users. Shops up steps, nobody gets out of your way in the street, till operators don't see you or ask the person with you all the questions, bank counters you can't see over, even disabled toilets that don't have room to turn in or for a carer as well. Don't get me started on trains... I love my sling for all the reasons you stated - i get major road rage with the buggy

Wrt housework, dp is the opposite - pissed off at not having the energy to help me out

Hopefully that means he's feeling better Pidj.

When I had Ds1 I suddenly realised how hard life must be for people in wheelchairs. My real bugbear is where people park their cars - why do the park in front of dropped curbs? Annoying enough with a buggy if you have to go round a car and bump it up/down curb when crossing the road, but if you're on your own in a wheelchair, you can bump up the curb. Would have to go out of your way just to cross the road. There's one car on my route to Sainsbury's that always blocks the way up onto the kerb like this, I always wish I had some paper and pen to write a cross note. Also rubbish bins left out on pavement pee me off. I don't want to have to roll your dirty old wheelie bin out of my way just to get my pram through.

How can I discipline a toddler who enjoys his punishments?! Me: if you don't eat your lunch, there's no pudding, straight upstairs for nap. Him: yes please. Argh!! Annoying thing is, I've said no snacks as he didn't eat lunch, but now he'll be hungry and ask for snacks every five minutes. He was supposed to resist bed and just eat up!

Not really, Stunt, he's making progress but not fast (shouldn't expect to tbh) meanwhile I'm getting tireder and tearier and more overwhelmed

Dixie, put him down for his nap now, then when he wakes set a timer - half a cup of water in the microwave on defrost if necessary - for half an hour and he has to wait that long for a snack. Think of something different for next time

Disclaimer: i don't have older dc but do have a lot of experience working with dc, particularly ASD where you need to be consistent with relevant consequences!

dixie I have got super strict on snacks lately as I gasped this with DS1 in the autumn. If he didn't eat his meal nothing at all until the next meal time regardless of whining. I actually try not to do snacks unless they can be at least an hour and a half before a meal and I really try to stick to fruit in the morning and a crumpet or piece of lasting the afternoon and steer clear of crisps, biscuits etc.

He also smiles when he goes on the thinking step but I keep going. I set a audible timer for that.

Stick at it it does pay off to stick with stuff like that. The older girls now appreciate boundaries, they realise we are just trying to make them the best person they can be.

Is toast in the afternoon you stupid I pad. TOAST!

dixie personally I don't use snacks as a punishment - I find no TV more effective or time out (somewhere boring, not their bedroom).

Was interested in the posts on religion/fear of death. I grew up going to (C of E) Church (though parents probably best described as agnostic) then drifted away and developed a huge fear of death. Finally came back to Church again and the fear has gone, but I didn't go back for that reason. My real reason was that there is so much injustice and horrible stuff in the world, I couldn't accept that's just how life is. I need to believe in an afterlife which is just and fair.

Have to say, was very much on the fringe of the Church and kept myself to myself, but they gave me amazing support when I was in hospital with pre-eclampsia and when H was early and now I find myself leading the youth group!

I'm normally strict on snacks but I just gave DD1 a bag of crisps. She'll give most of them to the dog but I needed some peace.

I don't believe in heaven or hell, but I do believe in an afterlife.

Little monster has been in bed for 2.5 hours. A friend just invited us round to play with some other mums/toddlers. Initial reaction is it's too much hassle getting us all out of tge door, but thpught for ds's sake i should make tge effort, give him a change of scenery and some friends to play with. Went in to the monster DS, and he's awake but just screams 'go away mummy' and 'don't want you mummy'! Pah. Really can't drag him out or spend half an hour trying to make him laugh like I'd have done before, as Teddy needs feeding. So looks like we're going to miss the get together. [frustration emoticon]

PR Hope you ok after your fall.
Useless fact alert...exactly one year ago today was the first day of my last period (not that I miss them or anything) But when will they return properly? And is it b/feeding that stops them?

Ooops its tomorrow the 24th ...thought today was the 24th.

I have a grumpy little snausage :( Not inconsolable crying, but just frequent crying which is out of character. Is 10wks growth spurt territory?

Dixie I love the story of your toddler. Be patient, if you can

Yes, I am a clutter bug.

Wow Donna you're right. We're coming up to the one year anniversary of our LOs being conceived.

tory are you new or a name change? Have I missed something?

Yep...my Valentines baby!!

I have a grump too. I have just put Baby TV on all has gone quiet.

What will aspen if I sneak off to the kitchen to do the bottles and make a cup of tea?

Dixie I recommend The Incredible Years for toddler taming. It worked a treat with my oldest two, and given that DS1 has ADHD and ASD that's saying something. When I see someone with a misbehaving child in a supermarket I always want to tell them about this book (but don't because that would be really rude).

I need a break, does anyone want to come and babysit for fifteen minutes or hours while I get a cup of tea? I so wish my IL were any use but, apart from babysitting every so often, they're not very helpful. I'm actually quite upset with them at the moment as I'm starting to realise just how much damage they did to DH as a child and the knock on effect that it's having on our children.