October 2012: onwards, upwards and rolling over?

[YompingJo]

Is this part 5 already? Where did that time go?

Squid she'd be 6.5 months old on our wedding day. I guess it would have settled a bit by then, but still, building up two days of supplies won't be straightforward. I may ask the doc what they advise, formula wise. Cos if I can get her started on it, even just one small feed a day, then at least I know she won't reject the taste later. And I'm told the hyper allergenic stuff is foul.

Blimey London I was talking about my labour last night with DH and I got upset too. It started as I was telling him about the labours in this group. On the FB group I said I thought my labour was 4 hours from established labour to birth. Turns out that 4 hours before she was born cervix was still closed - meaning that my labour was probably 1 or 2 hours. I got really freaked out as DH said it was actually a lot worse that I remember it being because there almost wasn't a delivery suite available and I was in and out if consciousness with the pain

Off to Paris. Screw the bosses. Our train was cancelled and we've been upgraded on the next one. To a quiet coach.

London, I don't think you need to worry about your mental health as such, but maybe you need to process it all? Squid's suggestion of going through it with the midwife and talking about it loads sounds good. You went through a lot.

Bora that's crazy! I'm not surprised you get upset, but great you're talking about it too.
I used to think the majority of labours were straightforward, different of course but not traumatic in any way, with the bad ones being the exception, but judging by the experiences on this thread it almost seems the other way round.
I feel really lucky to have got off so easily.

Livvy I was originally thinking to BF til 6 months, but as I'm planning to BLW he'll still need a lot of milk for a while, and I really enjoy it, so I'll just carry on til he doesn't need milk anymore. No idea when that'd be, a year maybe?
I've actually been thinking about finding out how to become a BF consultant ( or whatever they're called).

Crap day again here, obviously not quite out the woods yet.
I had a bit of a meltdown
When the weekend comes I'm so desperate to make the most of it, but there aren't enough hours in the day - on one hand I need a break from DS and to do something for me, on the other I want to spend time as a family because DH works so much, and on the third hand(!) I just want to sleep.
Factor in expressing enough to leave DS, DH's plans, DS's crappy moody growth spurt and chores etc. and everything just becomes too difficult.
I'm such a bloody optimist, I always end up disappointed!

Have a fantastic time Elpis!
@ the quiet coach - that's what they think,

Just been out with the pushchair which was stupid after another 5 or 6 inches fell last night. My arms ache.
Fuck off snow, no one wants you any more.

DH is a nobber today.

London, we need more detail.

Have just DTD for the first time. DH said no different - good. It was really uncomfortable - bad. Thank fuck that's out the way though, it was getting silly.

Jesus, there are some aspects of mumsnet which piss me off. I was just reading a thread about a lady who sadly had a stillborn baby and was thinking of trying again.

Someone was giving the advice of being aware of baby's movements (of course), kick counting several times a day from 20 weeks (not advisable) and that a baby shouldn't have hiccups after 30 weeks and if they do it means something is likely to be wrong (citing some American doctor). Surely that's bollocks? I've never been told that, never read it and because my baby had hiccups at least 3 times per day until the day she was born (and still now) I actively sought information on whether it was normal. People on mn often freaked me out during pregnancy (not you lot) with saying things like this and it's not fair.

I just don't see how saying these things is going to help this poor woman get through another pregnancy.

Have you heard in news about baby in hospital having dummy taped to its head by a member of staff???????? Criminal charges being brought. Sweet Lord, have you ever heard the like of it???????

I've hurt my back again. I am so peeved and pathetic.

huffle I read about the baby/dummy incident - can't believe it! And it was a baby admitted with breathing problems.

Crap sleep again las night. She took from 7 til 10.30 to settle. Then w

Oops stupid phone...
Then woke at 11.30, 1.30 then yo yo-ed in and out of her crib between 2 and 4, she just wouldn't settle to sleep. Finally brought her into our bed at 4.30, woke at 6.30 then finally for the day at 8.30. Don't know what was going on - she wasn't upset just couldn't get to sleep or stay asleep! Thing is she is so gorgeous and delightful in the day - feeding well, napping well, talking, playing, trying to roll etc...then becomes a little monkey at bedtime!

Had a quick skim through there and yay to all the babies rolling / using two hands etc :o No signs of rolling here - which suited me fine when swaddling but we've given it up this week as she was escaping or trying to all the time. Still handy during absolute meltdown.

Elpis so sorry to hear about your job :( It's a bollocks but hope you get something else. DH was a journo for years before academia and it's such a strange period, so many papers going under / downsizing. Tough time to be in your line of work :( He got out a few years ago now (although still does some freelance pieces and book chapters) and I'm really glad - so many guys he worked with dropped dead in their early fifties with heart attacks etc - just the constant stress and pressure. V glad you are heading off to Paris though :o

Mickey sending a hug - and on the TV front our bean bloody loves it too. If it's on and she's on her play gym mat she will turn herself 90 degrees to see it or tip her head back to watch it upside down. She likes really inexplicable things too - sometimes it's the news or something not exactly colourful and exciting for a baby!

Cherry know what you mean about the weekend balance. We tend to do family stuff on a Sunday (by which I mean go out for lunch and a walk with the bean who is probably largely indifferent). Today I went out for a few hours myself while DH babysat. It was bliss! Did a bit of shopping (including getting new waterproofs for walking after almost drowning / freezing in a hailstorm last week) then went to a cafe and had a sarnie and latte while reading a book. God it was awesome!!! So think you do need to build in some you time too :)

Have just read that book French children don't throw food. (Guardian review here if you're interested). Found it genuinely fascinating - and may use some of it with our bean (author calls their daughter bean too which made it feel eerily close to home). Author does admit it's easier applying principles when you are living in France (specifically Paris) as most parents she observes there are doing the same things.

PS: is it just me or is it frequently more fun reading the comments after Guardian online articles than it is reading the actual article??? :o There's usually some kind of verbal knife fight going on... :o

Livvy nice to see u back!

I entered world of BF quite nonchalantly and thought I'd give it a go and see what happened. V v quickly learned how well it suited baby and then educated myself as to benefits to make it bearable when was so difficult for me. I fully assumed I'd get better at it and I would return to work, express and feed and hey presto. Given my recent discovery and my continued discomfort I had a stern argument in my head last night about how much this is taking out of me and that I am soon returning to work. I know expressing will be tricky but until or even if I cure the cracks I cannot express regularly. I am giving myself this week to try to recover. If I do not feel significantly better by end of week I seriously need to consider swapping to ff. This is breaking my heart. I have come this far and he is doing so well and I am concerned about his massive appetite and formula. But I must must look at the bigger picture for me for the first time. A baby needs a healthy pain free mummy, no?

Gosh, you only asked a general question. I'm tumbling out an answer.

If I can get on top of this I intend to feed until 1 year to whatever degree feasible with full time work. If I can't I will begin to slowly change to formula within next fortnight.

We had a good night last night, so grateful! Settled at 9pm after an hour or so then slept other than a feed at midnight and then at 4am till 8am! Makes such a difference, really hope it lasts.
I fed dd1 till she was about 18 months and stopped on her own. Was a bit obsessive about it because I felt guilty that she'd had such a rubbish birth, then been in scbu and then needed some formula top ups. After she was 6 weeks or so and had picked up with weight gain she just had breast milk even on porridge etc. This was a real mistake in hindsight - loved feeding her but got too hung up about expressing enough for her to never need anything else and was even expressing when I spent a night away from home in a dismal hotel in Croydon stressed out of my brain because I was sitting the exam for end of GP training (costs £1500 to enter so really couldn't afford to fail!). I want to carry on feeding Melissa for as long as she wants too - am convinced of benefits for her and me but more importantly just love the snuggly happy time, especially as they get bigger and especially once back at work - just feels special. But I am not going to make myself miserable expressing obsessively this time - quite happy to do it but not 3 or 4 times a day on days off because I'm worried sbout her not having enough in the fridge for breakfast porridge!
Another long answer there, sorry!

firsttime

livvy BF going well for us now so am planning to keep going for a year or so. I'm thinking things will be a bit easier in a few months with not needing to feed quite so often (ie not every 2 hrs) so maybe popping out for the morning and leaving DD at home with DH might work. Not that I don't want to take her with me, but getting town jobs done is much quicker if I don't have to keep lugging her in and out of carseat! I'm heading away to a course in 3 months.... DH and DD will come too but hoping the need to feed so often will have abated a bit by then!

I think it's probably quite normal to still get upset about your rough labour londonmrs it was an incredibly intense time and you always have strong memories of very emotional periods. But I think squid's right, talking about it is probably the best thing you can do, even talking to DH is a start. And reading your notes if you have them. You probably haven't had a chance to really process everything as everything's been too raw and you've had DD filling up all your time!

14 weeks yesterday and becoming downright difficult. Starting to resist everything, including turning head backwards and forwards and holding her lips firmly closed during night wakings so giving her the colief is a bloody battle. Volume and intensity of crying is often completely out of proportion to the thing she is crying about, and I know it's stupid but this is really pissing me off. It's like she knows how to push my buttons already... Feeding has become fussy and my boobs have started to feel empty, not sure if these two things are linked. End result of all this is that night feeds now feel like a battlefield, and while she ends up asleep, I end up totally worked up . Is it just me or is everything shit? .

No doubt yomping, this is a pretty shitty patch. The nice bits are hard to find. However I keep telling self that this is Definately a developmental phase and all the babies seem to be having it. It will certainly absolutely pass. We can do it!

But who said the other day about a day off? Yes, 24 hrs would be bliss.........

And I keep reminding myself of what you said when you started your book. This is nobody's 'fault', certainly not baby's fault or mine. It's just part of his growth and I have to deal with it

X

yomping yeah it's another phase. in my experience, you get to a point where you feel like everything's on an even keel and you know what you're doing - once you're aware of feeling like that, beware because I find babies tend to shift up a gear at that point. each and every bloody time. the rough patches change though - with toddlers, for example, they seem to be behavioural

A friend just announced the birth of her daughter on FB and I felt a fleeting moment of jealously! WTF is that about??

Can I ask some advice that is non-baby related?

The other day I was talking to MIL about taking DS on holiday and commented that it is very hard to find affordable accomadtion where we want to go. This morning I recieved an e-mail asking if they could take DS on holiday for a long weekend to the exact place I was talking about. Now, I know that her intentions are very kind, and she wants to make sure DS gets his nice holiday, but I wanted a family holiday for DS (as in, just the 4 of us!) They have already paid for all of us to go for a weeks holiday in August and I feel this is already more than generous. Part of me is jealous that they would ge this lovely time with DS while DH, DD and I were sat at home and another part of me feels that I am totally inadequate uf I cant afford to take DS on holiday myself. I also feel uncomfortable having them spend so much money on him based on what was essentially a throw away comment. My family would never spend money on us like this and I feel that it is way OTT and inapropriate.

So, what do I do? Do I say yes and know that DS will have a lovely time but will miss out, or do I say no, that we would like to take him but run the risk that we couldnt afford it?

Wantanorange - let me check I've got this right - you've got a son and a daughter and they're only offering to take your son?