November 2012 - sleeping through yet?

[StuntNun]

Previous thread: www.mumsnet.com/Talk/postnatal_clubs/1647736-November-2012-losing-sleep-and-losing-weight

Stats list: www.mumsnet.com/Talk/antenatal_clubs/1485512-November-2012-Stats-List

Oh candy massive cuddles. You are in no way a failure. I promise.

I am emcs too and I can't breast feed so express everything. I have frequent meltdowns about the whole thing. In fact I had one about 10 mins ago! Give yourself a break and a big hug.

Bad night here, 2,5,7 and the 7 ended in pee everywhere and then vomit everywhere and me in tears with leaking boobs. Am so close to giving up its not even funny, but then I will feel like I failed at the birth and at feeding

Candy you haven't failed at anything. Again I am angry on behalf of all of you for the cultural pressure making you feel somehow bad for not sneezing out your babies and having trouble with breastfeeding. It's shocking. We all do our best for our children, and giving them the best we can, whether that be a surgical birth to save their or our lives / sanity, or breast milk, or formula milk for whatever reason, is all we can do.

Evil your P needs to strap on a pair and get over his poor little me mentality. You need a genuine apology from him and today. There are no excuses for the vile things he said yesterday.

pikz you are breastfeeding! You have probably put more effort into breastfeeding than any of us so do not feel like you have failed at that! Don't you dare! Having to express every feed! I am not sure I could have done that. As for the birth.... NOT failing to have assistance.

And pikz swap to FF if you want to. Nobody would blame you at all. You do not have the knowledge that most breastfeeders have that things will get easier, and it is extremely inconvenient for you. You have the worst of both worlds. All you have is the knowledge that you are giving your baby the best food on the planet. It must be so very tiring and upsetting for you. Incredibly brave, strong and selfless IMO!

candy I can't breast feed, I have tried with 3 out of 4 of mine. I have no medical excuses and this time had a perfect birth ( not so with the others) I just can't do it. I have come through the failure feeling, has taken till number four, as I have realised there is stuff I can do well, I do the routine stuff pretty good and I'm ok at weaning and what I am best at is giving them stacks and stacks of love. There is a book I think called " what mother do" I haven't read it. Ut have heard it is good. Might have a look.

Hang on, pikz you have been expressing all your milk all this time? You are not a failure you are awesome, there is no way I could have been dedicated enough to do that. As vq says no-one would judge you if you switched, or mixed, or whatever you choose to give yourself a well deserved break.

www.amazon.co.uk/What-Mothers-Do-especially-nothing/dp/0749926201

Actually having read the overview just now think it is a must read.

Moan warning!!

Just had big argument with DP, ended up with me throwing the breakfast and tea I had just made for him in the bin, him using the 'I'm at work all day, all you have to do is look after the children' and then telling me there is no way we are going to be buying a new house together now. There were quite a few f*'s thrown in there by each of us

There is pretty much nothing that is guaranteed to wind me up more than the 'I work all day' line. I had a really good career before DS1, I have the same qualifications as him, worked in the same industry as him and in the past have even done the same job as him. If I wanted to be really nasty I'd point out that I was better at it than him hence why I got paid a fair whack more than him too. I know what he does and how hard it is and I also know how bloody hard it is being home with 2 kids and doing all the household shit too. Gah

I have not had a meltdown for a bit thankfully. I slept better last night and J only fed twice between 10.15 and 8. He woke a few times but self settled mostly. Had a comfort suck a couple of times.

I may try just one bottle of formula over the weekend if I have any more bad nights. I will continue to express when I can to limit the amount of possible formula intake, but I am tired. Not today though. Feel quite bouncy in fact!

Candy you are so not a failure. I had an EMCS last time and ELCS this time. What matters is that our beautiful babies arrived into this world safely. The exit they took isn't important

Pikz you are doing an amazing job, I don't think I could do what you are doing, be kind to yourself x

Evil hugs, words fail me about your P! Hope he sees the error of his ways and makes a proper apology

Evil That was not an apology, it was more sniping. Frankly, I echo the others- my DH would be frikkin homeless after sending me a text like that and he would know it too.

Thank you everyone :) reading your posts just made me cry again :) (in a glad to have your support way).

When I'm rational I know the emcs was needed but when I'm down the trama of it all always manages to worm it's way back. I think I gave myself unnecessary pressure thinking cause I couldnt give birth naturally breath the baby out nct yoga bollocks that i would make up for it by breastfeeding.... And now things haven't been straight forward it sometimes get me down especially when im having a bad night and sleep deprived!

evil that is opposite of an a

Hello all! Trying to catch up, didn't even realise there was another thread, found it and theres 7 pages!

evil your P sounds like a right dick, I think Id leave for a while if dh said that to me. V nasty.

Morning all, gosh it's been a busy night for you all on here!

Evil that sounds awful you poor thing, hope you can manage to drag out get an apology from him today and get everything sorted.

Was also guilty of a meltdown last night. Have been ebf little pig, and can only assume she's going through the dreaded growth spurt atm, as she fed non-stop from 8.30-10.30 last night. Part way through when I'd stopped for a minute to allow boobs to temporarily recover, she started screaming for more, so ran naked downstairs with baby in tow, deposited her on dp who was asleep (again) on the sofa, and warbled "I just can't, don't know, I, oh, take her please".

2 mins later felt bad she was crying for feed so went back downstairs and got her. DP not sure what to make of these antics I'm sure. He keeps suggesting switching to ff or mixed, but despite my moans I feel quite emotional about doing it, so am going to try to keep going.

Pikx - I am in awe to you!
Rowing that could be a heated debate conversation straight from our house!

Oops posted to quickly,

evil that is opposite to an apology! I would say *sorry that a common cold renders you pathetic and useless, sorry to think you have share responsibility for your own children, sorry that as an grown man you still think its ok to pass on responsibility to your mother even though you can do it yourself, sorry to think that you were capable to make your own dinner once in awhile' I guess that wouldn't help the situation but wouldn't it be great if you could!

candy Be a little kinder to yourself. I have the same feelings about my emcs but I have noticed that it is me judging myself in a way I would never do to a friend who had one.

pikz You express EVERY feed?! Legend.

rowing There has been a tiny bit of career tension in our house too, but mostly because DH can walk straight into a job in his chosen career and regardless of the twins, I would still need to do a postgraduate level training course. Of course, with the twins, I have put myself back several years anyway. Luckily he has a job to to once he has finished uni and in fact he has been more sensitive to how I migt feel about this all than maybe even I am. If he EVER threw that at me in the way that your DH just has, I would be distraught. There really is no need for it.

Candy - breath the baby out - I nearly slapped the midwife who kept saying this to me. Ditto "breath the pain away" if that was possible there's be no need for epidurals now would there

Candy - hopefully the trauma will pass. Three Saturday's ago I didn't spend the whole day Going over the labour. What will happen at a year is anyone's guess. It also took me a while to get round not bf. I read a book called bottled up which I could have actually written!! And fearless formula feeder is a good website too.

Evil - no words!! My temper would have got the better of me I think.

Vq - yay for bounciness

Pikz - hugs again!!

Ds had a screaming fit last night. dh said what's wrong with him? I had no idea!! He was fed, clean happy then he just screamed. So after 20 minutes we decided to start his bedtime routine and he calmed down?! Then started laughing?! Babies.....complete mystery!!

Marking place. My internets broke stupid virgin won't come and fix it for 2 fecking weeks so I won't be able to catch up an no doubt they'll be a couple more threads competed in 2 weeks

lane, the dehumidifier is a delonghi aria dry slim or something like that!

Thank you everyone for your kindness, it keeps making me cry! Stinking cold and tiredness not a good combo.

Outfit 5, sleeping bag 2, sheet changes 2, bibs 2, muslins 5.

Baby 1- mummy 0