Dec 08 Mums - Happy New Thread, You Beauties!

[beans37]

Come join me....

[Rubena]

I meant to say about your Mum, Beans, hopefully it's as you say a reaction to your Dad passing. Hopefully she will be a bit more positive in time.
PD - very true. I have noticed my parents less and less tolerant of things as they age. They can't see it I'm sure but very obvious to me as I only see them once or on occasion twice a year at most.
Kayz - I bet the 2 months will go quick and if you focus on a get fit plan while he's away it will spur you on.

[McKayz]

Well he's gone and then the boys went 5 minutes later. DD is asleep. might play on the Xbox to pass some time.

[Vagolajahooli]

I wrote a post last night but phone battery ran out before I posted it. Argh....I can't remember anything I wrote. So I will just say hello all and I have noted all your comments but can't remember what I wanted to say in response.

DH is back thank goodness as I'm quite shattered. Need more sleep.

No word on my friend sadly it's been 7 days now so not looking good, her poor mum & sisters and her two little kids. I can't imagine what they are going through. All us old school friends are reposting her photo, but there has been lots of coverage on the TV in Australia and on social media and still nothing.

PD & Beans & anyone else I'd love a little weekend in Amsterdam with you. We could waste some time together PD ;) can also come over for a little cottage action, would it he cheeky to ask for it to be over this side of England. Though I could fly to other places, or fly to London and get a lift.

[Indith]

I guess the hardest part of your situation Kayz is that when he is there is is completely and utterly there for a couple of months at a time so you all get used to having him there 24/7 for playing, bedtime, meals, outings, everything. At least for the rest of us they still work when they are not away so we don't get so used to the help!

Some of you were asking about dh's job, thanks. He is going for it. He starts the new role in Feb so we will have a bit of time to see how timings work out. If they don't at all then he can quit the role without quitting his job. He intends to travel there and back every day and put in fairly short office days then work on the train and in the evening. At first it will be 5 days a week with a view to bringing it down to 3 days a week travel by the time I start my degree. Up until now he has been a floating resource so going form project to project as needed. This means you can be based anywhere so if a project that is not local wants you then they pay your travel. This is a fixed role so there is no need for them to pay travel. However, they have agreed to pay up to £X a week in travel until Dec 2013. They take the approach that after that he will have had enough of a pay rise to cover the expense or he will move. Obviously moving won't happen because of university for me. Anyway Dh is going for it because it gets him the promotion which means that if local jobs come up he will be applying as that level rather than as level below (even though he has been working at that level for some time, he just hasn't had the official promotion because things are so stagnant and they hardly promote). His ideal would be to get a job at the same level locally before they stop paying his travel. If not or if timing don't work for travel then he will quit but whereas when he was floating it was a case of just moving onto a different project it would mean going into a bit of a limbo land where he might find himself being retrained for a different area of the company.

Hey ho.

Baby needs to go to sleep. AS ever i shall attempt to write a proper post later where I talk about the rest of you instead of about me.

I ordered my first text book though! I want to buy a new wrap but I need the money for books and stuff even though there is a pretty that i really want available and not stupidly expensive.

[McKayz]

Indith, I've just bought a new wrap. I blame that facebook group!!

[ShadyLadyT]

'Ello ladies. Loving all the chat! Horrendously distracting though I have go to take the girls off to Chipping Norton to get their fringes trimmed in a bit, they are like a pair of Dulux dogs. I don't do it myself any more, it just looks too crummy.

Glad your bum's ok, Beans. What a relief! What treatment's in store? I know surgery is an option but I think that's for bad external ones and I think they have to be obscenely enormous. I am slightly pleased that Kylie has bad breath as I have always thought (in interviews etc) she comes across as really cold and not esp nice.

Jason Donovan on the other hand...I have always had a soft spot for Of course I remembered you'd snogged him Arti, it is illuminated in my memory bank! However, you have never given us the FULL details so honk on.

Beans, it's such early days for your Mum. I can remember secretly feeling grumpy/furious about every single person in a couple that I knew, for quite a long time. I know it's a cliche but she needs to meet some new people and do some new stuff, just to put a fresh impetus in her life. Could you gently and subtly encourage this? Otherwise, however annoying/upsetting she is being you may just have to be patient (which I am sure you are being). Also agree with others, though, about it also being a function of getting older...

I would also be gutted if I hadn't shagged Rob Lowe if I'd had the chance...

How's the snotty nose today, Rubes? So are you working this weeekend, but other than that not much for the year? Or have I got that wrong? How do you feel about working less and doing work for DH?

Talking about snotty noses - Hons, have you tried Sudafed? It works like a charm for clearing up stuffy noses - however, I have gone off it since my GP told me that using pills to dry up colds can sometimes lead to you getting a sinus infection instead. But if it's just a horrid cold, maybe go for it. Also, First Defence is good (for next time - you squirt it up your nose at the first sign of a cold and it can sometimes stop a cold from developing)

Just going to post this, lots more to say but don't want to lose this half.

[ShadyLadyT]

PD - you have started me thinking about my cholesterol, maybe I will get it tested cos I am a veggie who eats way too much cheese and butter and my BMI is 24 point summat! Life of Pi - I had the book for yonks but never read it because I didn't like the idea. It seemed too silly. I have to fancy magic realism. However, the trailer looked pretty spectacular. I expect we will see The Hobbit though, DP likes all that jazz. He is practically a hobbit himself - likes beer, two breakfasts, not straying too far from home... I know your place in Spain is a sore point but it utterly fascinates me. I would love a bolthole in Spain so much - I fantasize about buying one. It's not going to happen, but I can dream! Have you just abandoned it? I do want all the details if you can bear it. Oh, and if you are still interested in reading my novel and don't mind reading things in manuscript form...would be happy to send it. If slightly trepidatious!

JJ - I was very excited as I understood what you said. Ha! Well, you've met me and so you already know I'm a hairy handed trucker. YES, I am keen for a weekend away. As long as it was not too dear. We could find one on cottages4you or cottages.co.uk or similar, I am sure. Don't really mind about location - whatever suits - however, as I will be on public transport someone would have to collect me from a nearby station!

I will check out flights to you, Vag. Just in case. I'd love to come to Amsterdam - but small obstacles of childcare whilst DP is in his big trial and finances. However - not impossible.

Indith - that is good that you have thrashed it out with your DH about how it might work re: job. Are you feeling positive about all these changes?

Kayz - again, a cliche but you need to keep yourself busy (yes, I know a teeny baby means you are busy as a matter of course!) Are there any things you can achieve over the course of the weekend that will make you feel good? It must be so hard though. How is your relationship with XH these days?

Oh blimey, better get these girls ready to go out.

[ShadyLadyT]

Oh, and anyone not entitled to Child Benefit after 7 January - you can ring the Revenue before then and just get it stopped (which is what DP wants me to do ) - otherwise, the money for it gets added on to the other half's tax bill.

I know talking politics is a bad idea but losing my child benefit makes me absolutely fume. Partly for myself, but also on various ideological grounds. Grrr.

[Vagolajahooli]

Lady easyjet flies to schipol or as you know Ryanair flies to eindhoven and there is a direct bus from there to Amsterdam. If the UK wweekend was over your way I can fly into Bristol for pretty good prices.

Hons you need hot toddys my dear.

[Vagolajahooli]

Indith seeing as he's getting payed more can you get some babysitting. Some local kid to come after school?

[JumpJockey]

Right, anyone who fancies a cottage away send me a PM with your email address and I'll send out a poll for dates/locations. Presumably if a few people were able to drive they could give the rest of us lifts from a nearby train station (or it would need to be within cycling distance of my house ) . Presumably we need to avoid half term, so if this applies then let me know when yours is.

Oh and on schools - I was just looking through the results of school allocations for the one we're hoping for. Last year they got to criterion 8 (ie absolutely anyone who applied at all) at a distance of 1.5 miles. The year before, it was criterion 3 (baptised catholics without siblings) at a distance of 0.9 miles - we're about 1.5 miles away. Sigh - am hoping this year is more like 2012 than 2011! Oh and fgs they are one that does half days only to ease them in - up until half term! not exactly highly practical, I'll need to set aside 20 days annual leave to cover the afternoons.

[Rubena]

Lady do you mean we have to call if we want to stop the payments otherwise they will make us pay it back via tax? I'm confused or perhaps just thick. I thought they just stopped all payments of those not eligible?
Beans I meant to say earlier. I understand that fear of having been fortunate to have two healthy kids. I remember at mid thirties, panicking between every scan etc. I'm kissing 40 now (well in 2 yrs) so wouldn't be able to handle that now!
I'm sure you will figure out what's right for you all.
Lady yeah I feel fine about cutting way back on work. (Well it's a bit silly saying cutting back as this weekend will be my first trip in 7 weeks I have to do another in Jan to stay current then hoping not to work until April) Ive wanted to contribute to the income for a long time now and now there's actually stuff I can do to help dh it will be good. Not sure how I feel about completely quitting my job as its a nice little get away here and there but mainly it's the benefits I would miss. That said if we are in a position to afford travel home etc regularly not relying on perks I'd be fine with it.
JJ I was going to ask when everyone was talking of but will pm!

Managed the farm shop. Still a bit grim with cold but a slight but better thanks Lady

[Rubena]

Lady

Just as I was typing that dh sent me the news link and said we better opt out of it!!!!
www.bbc.co.uk/news/business-20298774

[Vagolajahooli]

Two small boys going cheap. In fact will pay to have them taken off my hands. Just went completely mental at them. Aside from the regulaly being screamed at by DS2 for whatever has recently annoyed him, I get absolutely sick of cooking meals they want, I just put some veg on as whether they eat it or not I think they need to know it should be there. Then the look at the entire meal and focus on the one bit they don't want and whinge about grrrrr....drives me mad!

Now on top of that we are going out tonight DH said he would be leaving work by 5 but has just texted to tell me he'll be late.

[Nolda]

Thanks for that Rubes and Lady. I had no idea. Another job for the list!

Beans, glad that the camera didn't reveal something more sinister.

I've botched together a very strange cake for DH's b'day due to strange combo of oven probs, tin availability and what DD has named Londpiss selling only elmlea for the choc ganache. Hopefully will taste OK. I have explained to DD that p* is very rude but she seemed unimpressed, oh dear.

[Rubena]

Vagazzle, can I throw in a small girl too? Meltdown central at 5pm as predicted as she "needs to have biscuits and chocolates please" well at least she said please.

[ShadyLadyT]

Oh Vag. Food is such a pain in the bum. Arti, I was so impressed that your girls enjoyed their meal (one of my faves) - DD2 will at least try most things and has a much wider repertoire than DD1 but generally their meals are so sort of snacky. However, I suppose I should be grateful they eat fruit and veggies at all. DD1 is crunching a large raw carrot as I speak, and has asked for raw baby corn, raw mushroom, and a large slice of fruitcake for supper.

Ahh, a bus from Eindhoven? Eindhoven flights are very cheap. I know where the bus station is too. Excellent. Maybe you'll be seeing me after all

Yeah, Rubes - you need to ring before Sunday or they keep paying you but then you have to pay it all back through DH's tax. Such a pain. I am going to have one more stab at asking DP to let me keep it I don't know how anyone else's household finances work but my only income is through the rental of my flat, plus child benefit, plus the occasional spot of work (or sodding Ebaying). DP is supposed to pay for household expenses but I am always topping up here and there, so...frankly I think he should let me keep it. But I do feel terribly annoyed that two people earning £49k apiece would keep the lot. Anyway, mustn't rant. I am glad you feel good about doing more work for DH, I think that would be nice. DP finished in Guildford today, with a good result for his client to boot A deserving client, in this particular case.

JJ, that is a fret about your school app. If it all goes tits up can you parachute her into the independent prep? When do you get the results, people - is it April like us? Intake at DD1's number 1 choice is only 15 a year and they are just building 32 new homes in the village (putting a small school under great strain) so this year will inevitably see children in catchment not getting a place. Not good. I just hope there aren't more than 15 kids O's age already with a sibling there, as they get first dibs.

Where's Spot?

We are off to a panto on Sunday. Just kill me now. It is a very kind gift from DD1's godmother but myself and DP are also in attendance. I didn't even like them when I was a nipper. However - I think the girls will like it so I shouldn't be such a grumpo. Talking about godparents - DD1's godfather is in the Maldives He went last January as well. I love him and he deserves it as he works hard, but I am so

[ShadyLadyT]

Londpiss. Brilliant.

[ShadyLadyT]

Just a quick other thing - DD1 has started talking in an American accent when she plays with her dolls. Just bizarre. She doesn't watch American stuff. I think it must come from school. Very weird though.

Also, DD2 told me yesterday that "Daddy is getting a new car". I said - "Oh, really? Has he told you this?" and she said, no word of a lie, "Daddy SHOULD get a new car." Then DD1 piped up and said, "He could get a car just like the one he's got. But shiny and new." Where IS this car awareness coming from?

[Rubena]

Weird the American accent thing! No doubt from Pre school!
I've tried to get on the website but its crashed I guess everyone who needs to us trying to cancel their child benefit tonight! Lady, if you keep it, isn't that just like a loan if it has to be paid back anyway? Or us it only a portion that they get back. I must read up on it properly.

[ArtigeneAuberchoke]

Lobelias is indeed rather brilliant.

JJ I will PM you. I would love a weekend away with everyone. TBH I am not 100% sure I'd make a Dutch visit at the mo due to mobey and a weird pregnancy related desire not to travel for hours, but wherever is planned I will tryand make the effort.

Jam, Rubes, Beans and Kayz you really are amazingly calm and accepting of your DHs' long hours. Jam, I can't believe anyone not travelling has to be in the office 7 long days a week, that is actually inhuman (and illegal). Does your DH's work really think they get top productivity from employees when flogging them like that? I can't imagine they do. Sometimes I thank my lucky stars that I work in the public sector, the pay may be poor and the hours can be long over short periods but overall the work/life balance is good.

[ArtigeneAuberchoke]

Or Lobelias read Londpiss.

And the American accent thing is odd. DD1 does it a bit too but she watches the occasional US made film.

[ShadyLadyT]

I think it definitely comes from Pre-school although there are a lot of Americans around here. The school over the road is about 10% North American. I think that's just the employment sectors in Oxfordshire (esp the Uni).

Speaking of stats, I read that 85% of people are in favour of the child benefit changes. Approximate percentage of people who wouldn't be affected? You guessed it - 85%. Sigh. Yes Rubes, if you don't cancel, every penny would be clawed back so I suppose it would be like a loan, in a way. Though I suppose you could claim it and stash it away until the time comes to pay it back.

Lobelia - now there's a name!

[DeidreBarlow]

I have a new IPhone I'm trying to post from...it's scaring me! Should have stuck to my HTC it was so much simpler

Oh and DD and her pals always talk in some mock American accent when they play. It's hilarious

[Rubena]

Deids I just downloaded the app for iPhone and I'm finding it much easier. (Can't you tell!) Especially if you flip the messages so the newest is at the top.